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Forum > Team Press Releases > QB Rick Skuff Comments on Trade
chuy
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QB Rick Skuff called a press conference attended by the bums in the local park to announce that he had been traded from the Blacksburg Ballers to the Milwaukee Cows.

"I'm very happy with the trade," a heavily intoxicated Skuff was heard saying as the police led him away. "it's always been a dream of mine to get traded from my hometown team to a team in Milwaukee in a lower division." Asked by the officer if he was being a 'wise-ass' he replied
"Since seeing semi-pro I know a team can thrive in Wisconsin."
When informed that the movie had actually taken place in Michigan and the team in it had folded in the end he collapsed into the police car and was driven away to stay the night as an "Honored and Frequent Guest" at the local penitentiary.

Former teammate LB Chuy Miller who has the same agent has come out in support of his team, saying "I never liked Rick much anyway. I'm just glad they got him out of here." When asked why he didn't like Rick his only reply was
"His liver's going to die in Milwaukee..."
Last edited Mar 27, 2008 21:16:04
 
packabacka19
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Packabacka19, owner of the Milwaukee Cows, would just like to say this:

"We knew about Skuff's drinking problems, and we knew he seemed to have mental issues. We have decided that his 'mental issues' are due to lack of effort and we will find a way to discipline him. As for the drinking, we will put him in an Alcoholics Anomynous Class and hope that he succeeds there. We knew what we were getting when we traded DE Dee Noise for him, and we don't regret it at all. Rick Skuff is the Cow's future. Thank you."
 
chuy
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Upon hearing the team owners plans Rick Skuff was detained at the Milwaukee International Airport for attempting to carry on seven bottles of liquor on a flight to Canada. When asked why he didn't just drive he responded
"I don't drink and drive."
When asked why he didn't just stop drinking he hung his head and dejectedly walked into the Alcoholics Anonymous class to learn about this 'not drinking' thing. He appears to have embraced his new sober lifestyle and promised the team owner to
"Only drink on weekdays."
Whether he can keep this promise remains to be seen, but he has stated that since he is now on the no-fly list and has had his license suspended he will be staying with the Cows for some time.
Last edited Mar 27, 2008 21:27:50
 
Candyman
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People really get into this game, Reminds me of Brett Farve creepy
 
chuy
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Hehe, just killing some time.
 
packabacka19
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Originally posted by chuy
Upon hearing the team owners plans Rick Skuff was detained at the Milwaukee International Airport for attempting to carry on seven bottles of liquor on a flight to Canada. When asked why he didn't just drive he responded
"I don't drink and drive."
When asked why he didn't just stop drinking he hung his head and dejectedly walked into the Alcoholics Anonymous class to learn about this 'not drinking' thing. He appears to have embraced his new sober lifestyle and promised the team owner to
"Only drink on weekdays."
Whether he can keep this promise remains to be seen, but he has stated that since he is now on the no-fly list and has had his license suspended he will be staying with the Cows for some time.


The Cows owner would like to state that:

"Skuff has been doing very well so far. He has only gotten 12 speeding tickets, 34 down from his career average. We look forward to his stay as a Milwaukee Cow."
 
packabacka19
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Originally posted by candyman
People really get into this game, Reminds me of Brett Farve creepy


Lol hey man don't be dissing Brett Favre he wasn't a stoner or anything he just had a problem.
 
Crush
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Favre was crazy but you had to love him
 
packabacka19
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Originally posted by Crush
Favre was crazy but you had to love him


Ya i was just talking about the painkiller addiction.
 
Crush
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yeah i know
 
raltherr
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As a new member of the Blacksburg Ballers, WR Jon Blaze is wondering why his QB was just traded?
 
redskins0756
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The Blackburg Ballers owner had a press conference regarding the trade:

"We knew about Rick's drinking problem and unfortunately he just couldn't handle himself on the team. It was a sad day we had to let him go, but this is life and that happens. I'll take questions now."

Michael Wilbon: "Michael Wilbon, Washington Post here. When did you find out about the problem and what did you try to do to stop it?"

Coach: "Well we knew about it when he started coming to practice and smelling like cold pizza and stale beer. We knew it was a problem when he wired 2 beers underneath his pads to feed it to him during the game."

Chris Mortensen: "Chris Mortensen, ESPN. How do you think Milwaukee will deal with the drinking problem Mr. Skuff has developed?"

Coach: "Well I honestly don't know. But he'll definitely like seeing the Brewers play in the off-season."

Coach: "Thank you all and best of luck to Rick. I am missing out on an episode of the Love Boat, so I have to run."
 
redskins0756
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Originally posted by raltherr
As a new member of the Blacksburg Ballers, WR Jon Blaze is wondering why his QB was just traded?


Coach: "Unfortunately Mr. Skuff's drinking problem could not be contained therefore we were forced to trade him."
 


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