Edward Teach: This is Edward Teach, sports reporter for Channel 3, WPEG, reporting from Captain Morgan's Halfway House, the stadium of the BLP Pirates of SE Asia Pro. I have just been told that one of the BLP Pirates wants to make an announcement and that in order for our broadcast station to get the exclusive broadcast, we had to guarantee that it would be simulcast in all of eastern europe in addition to our usual SE Asia region. Not sure why anyone would want to ensure that an announcement was broadcast in the backwards countries of eastern europe, but I guess that is the price we pay for exclusivity. For those of you just tuning in, we've been waiting quite a while and still no sight of one of our beloved Pirates. Hold on! Here he comes now!
A rather large and imposing player emerges from within the double doors of the players' entrance to the stadium. As he walks to the podium, he raises his left arm into the air with two fingers extended
Teach:It looks like Mr. Ham Burglar, one of the defensive tackles, is the one that called for this press conference. Obviously, his left hand represents the two victories in the GLB Tournament of 64, but I wonder what he has to say?
Burglar: The Bandar Lampung Pigskin Pirates entered a tournament of 64 teams from all over the world. It has arguably some of the top teams in all of GLB. As this tourney was getting formed, we were disrespected from the start by not even being one of the top 64. If it weren't for fan support and their vocal protests, we might not have been invited to the tournament at all. Reluctantly we were invited and then had to immediately cross the Pacific Ocean. We then shocked the world with our upset of the #2 seed, Detroit Nasty of USA Pro. Next, we continued our trek around the world by crossing the Atlantic Ocean and defeating the Rohrheim Stampede of Western Europe Pro. That's two victories over higher seeded teams who play in what would be perceived to be better quality leagues. Now, some guy named, "POOPERDOG7" from Eastern Europe Pro decides to come over to our neck of the world and call us out!
Burglar: Many of the eastern european viewers should recognize me. I've been to eastern europe before to deliver a similar message to some of the Vilnious Maulers players. Specifically, one Anytime Hurricane, who use to play for the Vilnious Maulers. As a result of the intimidation and fear that I perpetuated, he became a one season wonder and is now getting stomped in a real GLB league. SGA know this: You've been put on notice! And to Pooperdog7:
"Армия Грифона Stalingrad лучше приносит их лучшую игру, когда мы встречаемся на поле битвы. Мы, быть пиратами и нами, быть экспертами в изнасиловании, разграблении, и разбое, независимо от того если это находится на земле или море. Будьте готов или быть побежден."
Burglar walks away from the podium and heads back into the stadium and out of sight
Teach: Yet another interesting press conference from the BLP Pirates. They never cease to entertain me. On a quick side note, never in my wildest imagination did I think that Mr. Burglar was fluent in russian. Well, there you have it folks. In just a couple days we'll find out if the SGA can sink the Pirates' ship or if they'll end up getting piraped. Until next time, this has been Edward Teach reporting for WPEG, Channel 3, SE Asia Regional Broadcast. Davey Jones' locker is waiting for you!
A rather large and imposing player emerges from within the double doors of the players' entrance to the stadium. As he walks to the podium, he raises his left arm into the air with two fingers extended
Teach:It looks like Mr. Ham Burglar, one of the defensive tackles, is the one that called for this press conference. Obviously, his left hand represents the two victories in the GLB Tournament of 64, but I wonder what he has to say?
Burglar: The Bandar Lampung Pigskin Pirates entered a tournament of 64 teams from all over the world. It has arguably some of the top teams in all of GLB. As this tourney was getting formed, we were disrespected from the start by not even being one of the top 64. If it weren't for fan support and their vocal protests, we might not have been invited to the tournament at all. Reluctantly we were invited and then had to immediately cross the Pacific Ocean. We then shocked the world with our upset of the #2 seed, Detroit Nasty of USA Pro. Next, we continued our trek around the world by crossing the Atlantic Ocean and defeating the Rohrheim Stampede of Western Europe Pro. That's two victories over higher seeded teams who play in what would be perceived to be better quality leagues. Now, some guy named, "POOPERDOG7" from Eastern Europe Pro decides to come over to our neck of the world and call us out!
Burglar: Many of the eastern european viewers should recognize me. I've been to eastern europe before to deliver a similar message to some of the Vilnious Maulers players. Specifically, one Anytime Hurricane, who use to play for the Vilnious Maulers. As a result of the intimidation and fear that I perpetuated, he became a one season wonder and is now getting stomped in a real GLB league. SGA know this: You've been put on notice! And to Pooperdog7:
"Армия Грифона Stalingrad лучше приносит их лучшую игру, когда мы встречаемся на поле битвы. Мы, быть пиратами и нами, быть экспертами в изнасиловании, разграблении, и разбое, независимо от того если это находится на земле или море. Будьте готов или быть побежден."
Burglar walks away from the podium and heads back into the stadium and out of sight
Teach: Yet another interesting press conference from the BLP Pirates. They never cease to entertain me. On a quick side note, never in my wildest imagination did I think that Mr. Burglar was fluent in russian. Well, there you have it folks. In just a couple days we'll find out if the SGA can sink the Pirates' ship or if they'll end up getting piraped. Until next time, this has been Edward Teach reporting for WPEG, Channel 3, SE Asia Regional Broadcast. Davey Jones' locker is waiting for you!
