it's week 10 in the (b)eastern conference. there's some huge games this week for playoff contenders, playoff hopefuls, and even some upset possibilities. while these games are being played i'll be unconscious having surgery. hopefully, your team this week will fare better than my scaphoid did this weekend! on to the one handed predictions...
michigan panthers 9-0 vs carson city cubes 7-2:
the unbeaten panthers travel to carson city to enter the cube to see if they can figure out the diabolical secrets of the cube itself and its inhabitants. they hope to escape alive, with their perfect record intact. local word in carson city hasn't been very opportunistic for the local heroes chances in this particular b-daily incursion. even players, agents, and management have a bleak outlook. but that's not to say they haven't done their homework. that's not to assume the a game won't be brought. there is no doubt, michigan panthers, that you will face a team full of cubes that are at their most extreme hardness.
despite this writer's loftiest dreams and prayers to bort's servers, michigan wins a game they should.
33-17
maryland iron maidens 7-2 vs. milwaukee fire 7-2:
i made the mistake of doubting the torture devices from maryland last week as they put together a fine win with a late td pass and defensive stance. milwaukee, meanwhile, just dismantled megatropolis with a convincing 34-7 win. milwaukee's formula for success during their stretch has been the pass game. the same formula has applied to maryland as well. the key to this game will be whoever can win time of possession, as both teams seem to fade in the 2nd and 4th quarters offensively.
Wooo, Maryland wins in a shootout, in what some might consider an upset.
38-34
pontiac war kittens 6-3 vs columbus buckeyes 5-4:
a pivotal game for both teams involved. kittens intend to extend their win streak to 4 games while the buckeyes look to not see their losing streak reach 4 games. each of these teams' remaining schedules is rough, and either one could potentially find themselves either outside of the playoffs completely, or perhaps even with a home game in the playoffs. there's a lot riding on this one. both teams seem difficult to scout as neither have played many quality opponents. but it appears to me that the war kittens offense has it its stride, while columbus has yet to really find theirs. the kittens, defense, however, in their challenge against michigan, gave up 48.
columbus wins at home to end their slide, as the kittens offense struggles.
24-13
las vegas wildcats 1-8 vs. megatropolis tigers 5-4:
a measuring stick game for both teams between this foray of felines. las vegas can possibly mark week 10 as the week their team stepped up and showed marked improvement. megatropolis, wants to avoid at all costs an upset at worst, but at the very least they want to win impressively. las vegas will need to convert on 3rd downs and stop the tigers running game to hang.
both teams are proud of their performances, at the end of the day as megatropolis wins big but las vegas shows some signs.
35-13
new jersey vikings 1-8 vs. detroit soldiers 4-5:
is the nightmare over? can it be true?
THE NEW JERSEY VIKINGS ARE ON A WINNING STREAK!
i am the first person in the history of mankind to ever say that. new jersey has really taken strides this season and has been competitive with some strong teams. they appear to have found a formula that works, and they apply it here to detroit. the soldiers, meanwhile, are looking to avoid an epic letdown as playoff hopes are still very much alive. new jersey's secondary is going to have to play huge to have a shot.
unfortunately, i foresee the win streak ending at 1
34-16
seattle reign 5-4 vs. new york huskies 2-7:
seattle's in a nice spot to rip off three victories in a row after three consecutive losses. they need to be careful not to overlook new york, as i'm sure their GMs tinkered bigtime after last week's disappointing loss.
seattle begins a winning streak.
47-9
anonymous assassins 2-7 vs murder city devils 8-1:
murder city plays a tune up game this week while the assassins quietly improve...
62-3
albany death 0-9 vs. lexington mob 3-6:
MOTORCYCLE DRIVEBY...
...misses an entire mob.
52-9
by the numbers:
'wrapping up' the fumbles- the michigan panthers have the conference's lowest amount of missed tackles with 66. yet they also have the most forced fumbles with 16.
really good fat guys- murder city devils lead the league in sacks with 54 (seattle is #2 with 23). they also lead the league in pancakes with 1013 (michigan is #2 with 554).
scared little men- there's been only 1 field goal made over 50 yards this season, with only 13 attempts. 12 teams have yet to attempt a 50+ yard field goal.
good luck in week 10, wish me luck with my surgery/recovery
michigan panthers 9-0 vs carson city cubes 7-2:
the unbeaten panthers travel to carson city to enter the cube to see if they can figure out the diabolical secrets of the cube itself and its inhabitants. they hope to escape alive, with their perfect record intact. local word in carson city hasn't been very opportunistic for the local heroes chances in this particular b-daily incursion. even players, agents, and management have a bleak outlook. but that's not to say they haven't done their homework. that's not to assume the a game won't be brought. there is no doubt, michigan panthers, that you will face a team full of cubes that are at their most extreme hardness.
despite this writer's loftiest dreams and prayers to bort's servers, michigan wins a game they should.
33-17
maryland iron maidens 7-2 vs. milwaukee fire 7-2:
i made the mistake of doubting the torture devices from maryland last week as they put together a fine win with a late td pass and defensive stance. milwaukee, meanwhile, just dismantled megatropolis with a convincing 34-7 win. milwaukee's formula for success during their stretch has been the pass game. the same formula has applied to maryland as well. the key to this game will be whoever can win time of possession, as both teams seem to fade in the 2nd and 4th quarters offensively.
Wooo, Maryland wins in a shootout, in what some might consider an upset.
38-34
pontiac war kittens 6-3 vs columbus buckeyes 5-4:
a pivotal game for both teams involved. kittens intend to extend their win streak to 4 games while the buckeyes look to not see their losing streak reach 4 games. each of these teams' remaining schedules is rough, and either one could potentially find themselves either outside of the playoffs completely, or perhaps even with a home game in the playoffs. there's a lot riding on this one. both teams seem difficult to scout as neither have played many quality opponents. but it appears to me that the war kittens offense has it its stride, while columbus has yet to really find theirs. the kittens, defense, however, in their challenge against michigan, gave up 48.
columbus wins at home to end their slide, as the kittens offense struggles.
24-13
las vegas wildcats 1-8 vs. megatropolis tigers 5-4:
a measuring stick game for both teams between this foray of felines. las vegas can possibly mark week 10 as the week their team stepped up and showed marked improvement. megatropolis, wants to avoid at all costs an upset at worst, but at the very least they want to win impressively. las vegas will need to convert on 3rd downs and stop the tigers running game to hang.
both teams are proud of their performances, at the end of the day as megatropolis wins big but las vegas shows some signs.
35-13
new jersey vikings 1-8 vs. detroit soldiers 4-5:
is the nightmare over? can it be true?
THE NEW JERSEY VIKINGS ARE ON A WINNING STREAK!
i am the first person in the history of mankind to ever say that. new jersey has really taken strides this season and has been competitive with some strong teams. they appear to have found a formula that works, and they apply it here to detroit. the soldiers, meanwhile, are looking to avoid an epic letdown as playoff hopes are still very much alive. new jersey's secondary is going to have to play huge to have a shot.
unfortunately, i foresee the win streak ending at 1
34-16
seattle reign 5-4 vs. new york huskies 2-7:
seattle's in a nice spot to rip off three victories in a row after three consecutive losses. they need to be careful not to overlook new york, as i'm sure their GMs tinkered bigtime after last week's disappointing loss.
seattle begins a winning streak.
47-9
anonymous assassins 2-7 vs murder city devils 8-1:
murder city plays a tune up game this week while the assassins quietly improve...
62-3
albany death 0-9 vs. lexington mob 3-6:
MOTORCYCLE DRIVEBY...
...misses an entire mob.
52-9
by the numbers:
'wrapping up' the fumbles- the michigan panthers have the conference's lowest amount of missed tackles with 66. yet they also have the most forced fumbles with 16.
really good fat guys- murder city devils lead the league in sacks with 54 (seattle is #2 with 23). they also lead the league in pancakes with 1013 (michigan is #2 with 554).
scared little men- there's been only 1 field goal made over 50 yards this season, with only 13 attempts. 12 teams have yet to attempt a 50+ yard field goal.
good luck in week 10, wish me luck with my surgery/recovery
