Edward Teach: This is Edward Teach, sports reporter for Channel 3, WPEG, reporting outside the Rum Runner, a tavern located within the home stadium of the BLP Pirates, Captain Morgan's Halfway House. I have just been told that one of the BLP Pirates wants to make an announcement. We've been told that he'll be holding his press conference right in front of the Rum Runner. Hold on! Here he comes now!
A rather large and imposing player thrust the doors of the Rum Runner with such force that several kids in the area are knocked down and start crying. He walks to the podium and just stares out at the crowd of reporters that have gathered before him....silence
Teach:(whispering to the television audience)Not sure what is going on at this point. I'm having a hard time seeing just which player he is because he seems to have a hub cap of some sorts draped around his neck and it is reflecting blinding sunlight directly into my eyes. I think I might be blind in my right eye. Now I need anothe eye patch. Wait a second...it is Mr. Ham Burglar, one of their defensive tackles.
Ham Burglar raises his clenched fist into the air and then slams it into the podium, resulting in a deafening thunder clap and splinters from the podium spraying the throng of reporters!!!
Burglar: Its been over a year since the Pirates have played the Tire Fires, which was a victory in the SE Asia AA playoffs. Since then, they have claimed a SE Asia AAA#2 championship. They apparently did this with the..and I quote, "Pro Bowl" efforts from Naint the Interceptor and one loud mouth, Anytime Hurricane. I have demanded this press conference to say that I am not impressed. The East St. Louis Tire Fires are paper champions. I had a bigger challenge this morning with 'dropping some kiddies off at the pool' than I did against a weak Tire Fires offense. Where's all the talk now, Anycrime? Where's Naint? Back in the trunk I suspect. Better start bringing your 'A' game fellas or your might be fighting the likes of McNickles for another Pro Bowl in SE Asia AAA#2.
he turns his stare back at the reporters
Burglar: No questions will be answered, so don't bother.
Burglar walks away from the podium and heads straight to his limo. The limo peals off and out of sight
Teach: Well, folks. That was perhaps one of the strangest press conferences I've seen. I could be wrong, but I think he is calling out the Tire Fires. More specifically, Anytime Hurricane and Nate the Interceptor. This has been Edward Teach reporting for WPEG, Channel 3, reporting live from the Rum Runner. Walk the plank, you scurvy dogs!
A rather large and imposing player thrust the doors of the Rum Runner with such force that several kids in the area are knocked down and start crying. He walks to the podium and just stares out at the crowd of reporters that have gathered before him....silence
Teach:(whispering to the television audience)Not sure what is going on at this point. I'm having a hard time seeing just which player he is because he seems to have a hub cap of some sorts draped around his neck and it is reflecting blinding sunlight directly into my eyes. I think I might be blind in my right eye. Now I need anothe eye patch. Wait a second...it is Mr. Ham Burglar, one of their defensive tackles.
Ham Burglar raises his clenched fist into the air and then slams it into the podium, resulting in a deafening thunder clap and splinters from the podium spraying the throng of reporters!!!
Burglar: Its been over a year since the Pirates have played the Tire Fires, which was a victory in the SE Asia AA playoffs. Since then, they have claimed a SE Asia AAA#2 championship. They apparently did this with the..and I quote, "Pro Bowl" efforts from Naint the Interceptor and one loud mouth, Anytime Hurricane. I have demanded this press conference to say that I am not impressed. The East St. Louis Tire Fires are paper champions. I had a bigger challenge this morning with 'dropping some kiddies off at the pool' than I did against a weak Tire Fires offense. Where's all the talk now, Anycrime? Where's Naint? Back in the trunk I suspect. Better start bringing your 'A' game fellas or your might be fighting the likes of McNickles for another Pro Bowl in SE Asia AAA#2.
he turns his stare back at the reporters
Burglar: No questions will be answered, so don't bother.
Burglar walks away from the podium and heads straight to his limo. The limo peals off and out of sight
Teach: Well, folks. That was perhaps one of the strangest press conferences I've seen. I could be wrong, but I think he is calling out the Tire Fires. More specifically, Anytime Hurricane and Nate the Interceptor. This has been Edward Teach reporting for WPEG, Channel 3, reporting live from the Rum Runner. Walk the plank, you scurvy dogs!
Last edited Aug 15, 2008 17:46:54
