FAT DADDY CA$H’S CORNER: WEEK 5
And then there was one.
The Paris Musketeers are the last undefeated team standing as we reach the season’s quarter pole. Thanks to the Aggies’ upset of the Pimps, Paris has sole possession of first place for the first time in their franchise history. Which goes to prove that Rhodes Scholar Forrest Gump correct when he famously proclaimed, “in WEPL Zeta, you never know what you’re gonna get.”
With a quarter of the season now history, things in Zeta are still shaking out as the pretenders get separated from the contenders. Who would have guessed in the pre-season that by the end of Week 4, the Aggies and Destroyers would be struggling to stay at .500, or that the mighty Stampede would have just one win?
Things promise to get even more interesting in Week 5 during which all six 3-1 teams will square off against one another as Paris tests their new clout against the defending conference champs. If the second quarter of the season is as unpredictable as the first, Zeta truly will be up for grabs.
In addition to the normal rigmarole, I have included my first batch of Power Rankings. They’re my attempt to sort out the mess in Zeta and peer into my crystal ball a bit as far as the playoffs are concerned. It should be interesting to see how worthless these rankings are after Week 5 comes to an end.
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Week 4 Recaps and Awards
Multiple Scorgasms 31 – Oxford Eagles 6
Multiple came out against the Eagles determined to put their disastrous performance against the Pimps behind them – and they did not disappoint. The healing began early as QB Jo’ Moxon hooked up with TE Michael Howat for a pretty 44 yard TD toss on their second possession of the game. But they didn’t stop there.
Just six plays later, HB Randy Watson broke free for a 63-yard scamper to the end zone, assisted by WR Beau Sefuss’ tremendous blocking effort:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85609&pbp_id=2394092
Randy Watson was just getting warmed up as Multiple leaned heavily on the scat back to set the pace of the game. Watson would finish the game with 24 carries for 203 yards and 2 TDs while his backfield partner Earl Peyton chipped in with 25 carries for 90 yards and a TD of his own.
Multiples’ outstanding ground game was matched by its defense that held the Eagles to 273 yards and forced 4 INTs. Multiple walked off the field with their head held high as they prepare for a huge showdown with the Frankfurt HEAT.
Player of the Game: HB Randy Watson. Hard to argue with the filthy numbers he put up against the Eagles, though it was a close call with LB Gone Tribal whose 2 INTs and 6 tackles led the way for the Scorgasm defense.
Scape Goat of the Game: QB Max Wagner who proved that you can’t win if you can’t hold onto the ball. Wagner passed for 251 yards but tossed 4 INTs along the way.
Reykjavik Aggies 36 – Rivals Mainboard Pimps 28
In the upset special of the week, the Aggies refused to be intimidated by the Pimps. Their resolve was evident on their first drive during which they survived two sacks but still managed to cash in with a 28 yard FG from K Heywood Jablowme.
Reykjavik played keep-away for much of the first quarter as the Pimps ran only five offensive plays thanks to an eight minute, eighteen play drive on the Aggies’ second possession that was capped off by HB Andre Rudzinski’s 1 yard TD plunge. With a 10 point lead in the bank, the Aggies continued to dominate time of possession, holding RMP to just three first downs in the first half.
The Pimps came out in the second half determined to cut into the Aggies’ 16 point lead – and it didn’t take long as QB Phillipp Pohl found WR Pthirius Pubis on a 12 yard TD pass on their opening drive of the second half. Not one to give up momentum, the Aggies responded on their next drive, surviving a fumble scare and another of DE Mr. Bundy’s sacks, QB Daroc Slinger connected on a short, 6 yard TD pass to WR Jimmy Jammer to give the Aggies a 23-7 point lead.
But then the Pimps took over as they scored 14 unanswered points thanks to their two HBs Graig Cooper and Lee Suggs, cutting the Aggies’ lead to just two points. After the second Pimp score, the Aggies did not wait long to respond. Just two plays later, QB Manny White hooked up with WR Ronnie McKraken for this back-breaking 65 yard catch and run TD:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85691&pbp_id=2397507
The Pimps did not have a chance to respond as on their very next offensive play Suggs put the ball on the turf and it was quickly recovered by the Aggies. Five plays later, Rudzinski would find the end zone for the second time, sealing the win for the upstart Aggies.
Players of the Game: WR Ronnie McKraken’s huge catch and run wound up being the back breaker for the Pimps. His numbers were outstanding with 8 grabs for 135 yards and 1 TD.
Scape Goat of the Game: The Pimps’ front seven who are normally stout, could not get the Aggies off the field on third down. Their failure allowed the Aggies to control the clock and keep the Pimps’ offense on the sidelines.
Frankfurt HEAT 41 – Rohrheim Stampede 16
The Stampede fans have to be getting nervous. With all the talent in the world on the roster, their team is in danger of slipping out of the playoff race before it even begins. Already in a deep 1-2 hole, things got worse against the HEAT as the Stampede were dismantled once again.
The HEAT struck first, on a fabulous INT return for a TD by CB Chris Barker:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85636&pbp_id=2400563
The 75-yard return was followed up by a 14 play, 7 minute drive that was capped off by HB Antwain Easterling’s 6-yard TD scamper. The Stampede showed some signs of life on their next drive as Slinger was set up on the HEAT 45 yard line after KR/CB Joe West’s nifty 42 yard kick off return. Despite driving the ball all the way to the HEAT 11 yard line, the Stampede were stymied and had to settle for a Numbnuts Ballbender FG.
That would be as close as the Stampede would get. The HEAT reeled off 20 unanswered points in the 2nd and 3rd quarters – more than enough to stave off the 13 point burst the Stampede mounted in the final stanza.
Player of the Game: HB Antwain Easterling was steady with 19 carries for 75 yards and 2 TDs, leading the way for the HEAT offense.
Scape Goat of the Game: The Stampede QBs. Despite generating over 300 yards of offense against the HEAT, the two Rohrheim QBs combined for 3 costly INTs.
Paris Musketeers 81 – Valencia Billy Goats 0
No shocks here. Paris moved to 4-0, becoming Zeta’s lone undefeated team after thrashing the Billy Goats 81-0. While the Musketeer’s quick start to the season looks impressive on paper, their first real test will come this week when Korb rolls into town.
Still, you can only play who you’re scheduled against, and the Musketeers took care of business, even allowing FB Walla-Walla Wrecking Ball in on the fun as he rumbled for 7 TDs, including this pretty 26 yarder:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85696&pbp_id=2393554
A big showdown against Korb is up next – will Paris rise to the challenge?
Player of the Game: Walla-Walla Wrecking Ball. Gotta give the big man some love as he had 15 carries for 193 yards and 7 TDs on the day.
Scape Goat of the Game: The JFK sports bar I was stuck in for three hours tonight during my layover who did not have the NFL ticket – thus forced me to watch NASCAR crap while I ate my terrible burger.
Stockholm Meatballs 43 – Bari Barracudas 9
After surviving a heart-attack game last week against the Aggies, the Meatballs wanted to start fast against the Barracudas – but instead they fumbled the opening kick off, setting up Bari with a first and 10 on the Stockholm 39 yard line. Fortunately, the Meatballs’ defense stiffened, forcing a punt.
The Meatballs’ offense didn’t mess around after that as they drove the ball 80 yards in 12 plays before QB Tyrone Slothrop hooked up with WR Willie Banks on a pretty 22 yard fade pass for the game’s first score. The Meatballs would find the end zone twice more in the second quarter, taking a commanding 23-9 lead into the locker room.
Just like they did in the first half, the Meatball defense came out hot in the second half. On just the third play of the third quarter, CB Pat Monk nabbed this acrobatic INT off an errant Shane Falco Jr. throw:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85594&pbp_id=2401849
The Meatballs would use that momentum to score 20 unanswered points in the second half as the defense clamped down on the Barracuda.
With the Pimps up next, the stage is set for a rumble between both AAA champions from last year. Call it, a unification bout!
Player of the Game: HB Just win was a one man wrecking crew as he broke 7 tackles en route to a 80 yard, 3 TD day.
Scape Goat of the Game: HB Clinton Portis, normally a force to be reckoned with, was held to just 32 yards on 9 carries. The Barracudas’ failure to generate a consistent rushing attack dug them an early hole.
Rotterdam Roughnecks 168 – Sandford Policeman 7
Sandford once again proved they could score a single touchdown no matter how outgunned they are. This time it came on a 91 yard kick return by FS Rodion Raskolnikov:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85623&pbp_id=2401056
The KR for a TD was the first in Zeta this season (tied with Korb’s Michael Johansen) and just a start for Rodion who finished the day with 13 tackles, 1 forced fumble, 25(!) kick returns for a total of 783 yards. Wowzers!
Rotterdam got a chance to pad their stats and light up the scoreboard too as HB Brady Smith rushed for 12(!) TDs and 500(sweet, Jesus) yards against the coppers, but they better hope their players didn’t over-do it in their assault on the record books. With a huge match-up against MA this week, the Roughnecks are going to need as many fresh legs as possible.
Player of the Game: FS Rodion Raskolnikov – his numbers were insane. And considering how long of a season it’s going to be for Sandford, his play might be their lone team highlight of Season 4.
Scape Goat of the Game: T-Noles. Again.
Korb Destroyers 45 – Oslo Berserkers 21
Korb started the game with bang as HB Michael Johansen took the opening kick off 88 yards to the house. But Johansen was just warming up. With 6:50 to play in the first half and Korb leading 10-0, Johansen notched his second TD of the day on a 30 yard pitch and sprint to the end zone. His final TD would come late in the 4th quarter on a five-yard plunge, giving Korb a 45-14 point lead.
Give Oslo credit, they didn’t back down from Korb all game. Despite being overwhelmed on paper, the Berserkers still put up 21 points against one of the best defensive units in the conference. The best was this slick 67-yard catch of a tipped ball and sprint to the end zone by WR Anquan Fitzgerald:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85685&pbp_id=2401771
While moral victories don’t win rings – for Oslo, they’ll take whatever kind of victory they can get.
Player of the Game: HB Michael Johansen’s 111 all purpose yards and 3 TDs got the ball going early and often for the Destroyers.
Scape Goat of the Game: The Oslo O-Line who failed to open up any sort running lanes for HB Edgerrin Jones-Drew.
MA Trolls 34 – DFools AllStars 0
The Trolls strolled to another routine victory, this time at the expense of the AllStars. The Trolls took chances against the weaker AllStars, going for it on 4th down several times and relying on their stout defense to clean up the misses on offense. DE Capn Crunch was up to the challenge as he notched this impressive sack on QB Shane Tessem:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85648&pbp_id=2394441
Despite the inspired play of AllStar’s LB Jon Brock who led all players with 18 tackles, 2 FFs, I FR and 2 PDs, the Trolls still managed to rack up 447 yards on offense. On the flip side, the AllStars managed a paltry 123 of their own.
Players of the Game: HB Victor Stagnetty had 27 carries for 133 yards and 1 TD. Victor’s grind it out style opened up the passing game for QB Flicker and company.
Scape Goat of the Game: The AllStars’ O-Line who gave up 4 sacks, 2 hurries, and failed to generate any sort of ground game for the woeful AllStar offense.
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POWER RANKINGS
Using several high-powered processors, complicated algorithms and scientific equations, I have devised a foolproof way to create these Power Rankings. They are scientific and above reproach …
Who am I kidding? I’m making this up as I go along. But here they are anyway, my first installment of FDC’s Power Rankings. Of course, with all the big games this week, it should prove to be an exercise in futility in less than 24 hours, but what the hell …
1. Rivals Mainboard Pimps
I know they dropped one against the Aggies, but then again, so has everyone thus far (no offense to the undefeated Musketeers). The difference between the Pimps’ loss to the Aggies and the other upsets that have befallen the cream of the crop this year, the Pimps were very much in the game well into the 4th quarter, showing they are dangerous even when things aren’t going their way. With a softer second half schedule, the Pimps are already primed to take one of the top 4 seeds in the playoffs.
2. Frankfurt HEAT
Their loss to the Trolls keeps them from the top spot – though I know I’m going to catch hell for ranking them above MA. Despite that loss, the HEAT are one of the deepest and well prepared teams in conference, making them a favorite to win the number 1 seed once again this season. With a soft second half schedule, the big game looming on their schedule is their Week 8 showdown with the Pimps that may very well determine the number 1 seed.
3. MA Trolls
The Trolls have taken a big step forward since their opening game debacle, outscoring their last three opponents 110-37. Throwing out the advanced AI and instead relying upon the tradition tactics has served them well as they continue to tinker with the new twist to GLB. Their win over the HEAT was impressive but we’ll see how they hold up against the Roughnecks. If they can knock off Rotterdam, they’ll jump right up these rankings.
4. Multiple Scorgasms
Wins over the Aggies and Meatballs were impressive enough to overlook the utter debacle that was the Pimps’ game. If the Scorgasms can find a way to get past the HEAT, they will have cruised through the toughest stretch of their schedule with a 4-1 record, positioning them to be prime-time players in the race for home field advantage.
5. Rotterdam Roughnecks
Their opening day loss to Paris was unexpected – as was their thumping of the defending champion Destroyers. With one of the most balanced and explosive offenses in the conference, Rotterdam is proving to be a force, but their record might be misleading simply because they’ve played both the Billy Goats and Sandford already. Simply put, they have not played as tough a schedule as the top four have, thus they are stuck at 5. For now. However, a big match-up with the Trolls will provide the ultimate litmus test – a win will boost them up into the top four.
6. Stockholm Meatballs
Stockholm has bounced back with two impressive victories in a row, but the stigma of their shutout loss to the Scorgasms still hangs in the air. The second quarter of the seasons provides two tough match-ups against the Pimps and Heat offset by games against the Eagles and AllStars. If the Meatballs can come out of the second quarter schedule 6-2 or 7-1, they will be in great shape for the playoffs. But that’s a very big “if”.
7. Paris Musketeers
Yes, I know, I know. How could I rank the lone unbeaten team seventh? And worse, how could I rank them below the Roughnecks whom they have already defeated? Well, outside of the Rotterdam game, the Musketeers have benefited from a very soft opening schedule. Even though their 4-0 start is somewhat of a mirage, they still boast a powerful defense and ever improving offense. This week’s game against Korb could send them skyrocketing up these rankings … or tumbling down.
8. Reykjavik Aggies
At 2-2 the Aggies get the nod over the Destroyers simply because they have beaten a top tier team whereas the Destroyers have not. Additionally, the Aggies are one OT fumble and a last second FG away from being 4-0. That’s impressive considering the competition they’ve faced thus far. With all four bottom ranked teams left on their schedule, the Aggies are in great shape to climb up the standings in a hurry.
9. Korb Destroyers
They might be 2-2, but Korb still boasts one of the conferences’ top defensive units. Plus, with the majority of their players unboosted, Korb is only going to get better as the season goes on. Despite all that, the Destroyers’ two wins have come against Oslo and DFools. Against the upper echelon of the conference, Korb has stumbled to an 0-2 record. In the ultra-competitive Zeta, Korb can’t afford to rely on sliding by until the playoffs – if they lose too many more, they may just find themselves watching rather than playing come September.
10. Rohrheim Stampede
The Stampede has faced four quality teams to start the year, and have struggled mightily in doing so. The offense has shown signs of life, but the defense has been a mess all year, surrendering 64 points in the past two weeks alone. Even against the Pimps whom they held to just 9 points, the defense gave up over 400 yards and did not look as impressive as the score might indicate. If things don’t get turned around quickly in Rohrheim, they will not only miss the playoffs, but might get passed by Bari and Oxford.
11. Bari Barracudas
The Barracudas have a deep and talented roster that is still trying to gel as far as team chemistry goes. A brutal three game stretch against the Aggies, Musketeers and Meatballs certainly did not help team morale, but if they stay the course, the chemistry will continue to improve and the team will start playing up to their potential. With a much softer second half schedule, the Barracudas could flirt with the 9th or even 8th spot if things break their way.
12. Oxford Eagles
Oxford is another team, like Bari, that presents a bit of a mystery. On paper they have enough talent to challenge some of the upper echelon teams in the conference, but so far they have not been able to live up to their own ratings. Blow out losses to the Trolls and Scorgasms were offset by a tight loss to the Stampede. Still, if the Eagles are going to take a step forward this year, the pressure is on their coaching staff to get more out of their players than they are currently getting.
13. Oslo Berserkers
The Berserkers are making progress. A close loss to the Musketeers, as well as scoring 21 points on the Destroyers, is proof that the Berserkers can be a threat. But the front office is selling their team short by relying on far too many CPU players each game. If it wasn’t for the presence of Valencia and Sandford, the Berserkers would be flirting with relegation for their failure to plug the gaping holes in their roster.
14. DFools AllStars
While the AllStars had the misfortune of playing Valencia prior to their dismantling, DFools is still a team adrift. With countless players inactive, a serious lack of talent in key areas, and an offense that can’t seem to find the end zone, the AllStars are in trouble. If they don’t win another game or two, they might get relegated despite having two gutted teams in the conference simply because Valencia holds the tiebreaker. Yikes!
15. Sandford Policeman
Sandford edges out the Billy Goats for the 15th spot due to their two game streak of scoring TDs. But this victory will be short lived. So far owner Rodion has not done any major rebuilding, but it’s a work in progress. With relegation a virtual certainty, they will hopefully have better luck in AAA.
16. Valencia Billy Goats
Det Pistons has moved quicker than Rodin as far as the rebuilding process goes. Bringing in some quality human players, the Billy Goats could avoid elimination (and move up the Power Rankings) with a win over Sandford assuming the AllStars lose out. With the effort Det Pistons is putting in, Valencia won’t be sitting at number 16 for long.
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WEEK 5 GAME PREVIEWS
Last Week’s Record: 7-1
Season Total: 23-9
KORB DESTROYERS (2-2) at PARIS MUSKETEERS (4-0)
Paris will get a chance to prove to Zeta that their 4-0 record is well deserved when the Destroyers come into town this weekend. On paper, the Musketeers are outgunned at nearly every spot but they remain undeterred.
Paris will count on their deep defensive secondary to force the Korb QBs into mistakes – something they’ve been prone to doing all year long. Key to that strategy will be the play of their top DEs Marcus Rubio and Mario Williams who will need to generate constant pressure and force Mighty Quinn and Hansen to throw off their back foot. While the Korb running game has been picking up steam, the Paris defense should focus on the passing game and have faith in their front seven to stop the three Korb HBs.
The Destroyers have yet to beat a team with a winning record this season and will be anxious to get that monkey off their back in Paris. While the Musketeers will try to force Korb into making mistakes, the Destroyers will have to focus on stopping HBs Nolan Akers and John Dough who have combined for 623 yards and 8 TDs so far this season. Offensively, Korb will need to cut down on the turnovers that have plagued them all season and not give Paris any extra chances with the football.
Prediction:
This is a big game for both teams. For Korb, they can’t afford to drop to 2-3 with their brutal second half schedule. For Paris, they want to show the conference that they aren’t just paper tigers. Paris is a good team, but the Destroyers are going to be a tough test. Expect Korb to come out on top, 24-13.
ROHRHEIM STAMPEDE (1-3) at DFOOLS ALLSTARS (1-3)
Rohrheim gets a chance to recoup against the AllStars after the HEAT dismantled them in Week 4. At 1-3, the Stampede will take any win they can get. Over the next three weeks, the Stampede will get a chance to get to .500 as they battle two beatable teams in the AllStars and Berserkers. The coaching staff will be looking to not only win those games, but also use them to work out the kinks in their playbooks before their big showdowns against the Roughnecks and Musketeers.
Expect the Stampede to lean on HB Ironhead Hayes to generate consistency in their offense while QB Gunn Slinger and company try to get the passing game back in shape. Against the soft AllStar secondary, the Stampede should take some chances in the passing game and try to build some momentum to carry over into the Rotterdam game. Defensively, the Stampede should be able to shut down whatever the AllStars throw their way. With huge advantages in the trenches, the front seven for the Stampede will clamp down on DFools’ rushing attack while getting good pressure on QB Tessem.
The AllStars are in real danger of relegation. With no gimme wins left on their schedule, the AllStars are going to have to find a way to win at least one, if not two, more games this season. That is asking for a lot.
Prediction:
The Stampede will win this game, but the big question is how much can they carry it over to the Roughneck game.
MA TROLLS (3-1) at ROTTERDAM ROUGHNECKS (3-1)
The trajectory of both these clubs is remarkably similar. Both teams lost their opening game in surprising fashion. Both teams are riding a three game winning streak since then with one of those wins coming against a powerful opponent.
Both the Roughnecks and Trolls’ offenses have come to life the past three weeks. The Roughnecks’ scoring average has been helped by two triple digit wins over the Goats and Policeman, however they also dropped 40 on Korb. Meanwhile the Trolls have scored over 30 points in each of their last three outings, including a big win over the HEAT.
The biggest mismatch in the game will occur when MA QB JJ Flicker has the ball. The Trolls invested heavily in WR this off-season and so far it has been paying dividends. With a handful of receivers to choose from, Flicker has kept defenses off balance all season, exploiting the holes in the secondary. This is bad news for the Roughnecks who are strong against the run but suspect against the deep ball. With only 4 CBs on the roster, the Roughnecks will be tested and stretched out by the Trolls’ 5 quality WRs and 3 quality TEs.
The good news for the Roughnecks is they have the offensive weapons to keep up with the Trolls should the game turn into a shoot out. With QB Corey Smith and WR Blake Smith shaking the rust off, the Roughnecks’ ground game has really emerged behind the legs of HB Brady Smith. While I’m not a fan of teams who change up what they do best, this might be a game where the Roughnecks might consider employing a more ball control style offense, utilizing the red-hot Brady Smith and keeping Flicker on the sidelines. If they can limit the amount of chances that the Trolls get, the Roughnecks have enough talent to pull out the win.
Prediction:
This game has all the ingredients for a classic. With both teams capable of scoring a lot of points in a hurry, this game should ultimately come down to who’s defense steps up the most. The Trolls have the edge there as their defense is better from top to bottom than Rotterdam’s. The Trolls will win this one 23-19 … but it won’t be easy.
MULTIPLE SCORGASMS (3-1) at FRANKFURT HEAT (3-1)
The big news coming out of Frankfurt is the full-blown QB controversy. The team announced that QB Randy Livingston will get his first start of the year over Jimmy Jimmy Clausen against the Scorgasms. Livingston has thrown 5 TDs to only 1 INT so far this season while the incumbent starter Clausen has been less consistent, throwing 5 TDs and 4 INTs. Despite having a 5 level edge over Livingston, the HEAT believe that Clausen’s mistakes have become the norm rather than the exception.
With Livingston now entrenched in the starting position, the HEAT will lean a bit more on their talented HB Antwain Easterling who’s averaging 6.4 yards per carry so far this season and already has 8 TDs. The HEAT will lead with Easterling and use his skills to open up the passing game for Livingston and WR Ralei Sealey. Multiple has been susceptible to the deep ball this year so expect Livingston to take some shots down field.
The Scorgasms got back on the winning track last week, blowing out the Eagles 31-6. HB Randy Watson led the way and will be counted on to do so once again this week. While QB Jo’ Moxon has looked sharp this season, back up QB Greg Mcelroy has been miserable, throwing 8 INTs and 0 TDs. Oddly, the Scorgasms continue to give Mcelroy playing time despite his poor numbers – something which cost them against the Pimps in Week 3. If the Scorgasms are smart, they’ll staple Mcelroy’s butt to the bench this week and keep the red-hot Moxon in the game the whole way through – they’re going to need him.
The QB controversy in Frankfurt might make this game more exciting than it otherwise would have been. Giving the keys to the Ferrari to a level 22 QB takes guts, but so far Livingston has shown he’s capable of handling it. On paper, this should be a game the HEAT win, but uncertainty under center makes that less of a certainty. If the Scorgasms are going to have a chance, they’re going to need to play mistake free football and force the young QB to carry the load by shutting down Easterling.
Prediction:
The game plan for Multiple sounds simple enough – but it won’t be easy. The HEAT are still one of, if not the, most talented teams on paper and should find their way in this one. Livingston will get the job done as the HEAT win, 34-24.
REYKJAVIK AGGIES (2-2) at OXFORD EAGLES (1-3)
The Aggies will be looking to carry the momentum gained by knocking off the Pimps into Oxford this week. The Aggies dominated through the air as QBs Manny White and Daroc Slinger combined for 416 yards and 2 TDs. Against the Eagles’ thin secondary, the Aggies should be able to match their success from last week. WRs Ronnie McKraken, Jimmy Jammer and Sui Ross should find plenty of room to roam and will turn in some big plays. Though the Aggies can run the ball effectively with Super The Squirrel and Andre Rudzinski, they should focus more on the passing game this week to take advantage of the clear mismatch.
The Eagles were expected to give the Scorgasms more of a game than the 31-6 point drubbing they endured last week. QB Max Wagner’s 4 INTs coupled with the defense’s inability to stop a pass or a run doomed the Eagles to their third straight loss. Against the Aggies, the Eagles will have to rethink their defensive scheme. It will start with re-discovering their rush defense. If they can find a way to make Reykjavik one dimensional, they might be in good shape.
Prediction:
The Aggies are too talented to drop this one. Whether by air or by ground, Reykjavik will find a way to score. While the Eagles have the talent to put up points, they have not demonstrated enough consistency for me to call an upset here. Aggies win, 30-6.
SANDFORD POLICEMAN (0-4) at OSLO BERSERKERS (1-3)
The Berserkers get a chance to pick on another gutted team as the Policeman march into town. Against the Goats, Oslo put up 215 points – but the Policeman are getting better each week thanks to their rebuilding efforts.
Prediction:
Oslo will definitely win this one – but will Sandford be able to continue their streak of scoring a TD a game?
VALENCIA BILLY GOATS (1-3) at BARI BARRACUDES (1-3)
The Billy Goats have been getting a make over, but they are far from being good enough to compete against the WEPL teams. For Bari, this game will give them a chance to get their team morale back up a few notches after three straight losses.
Prediction:
Bari will win – but can Valencia score?
*** GAME OF THE WEEK ***
STOCKHOLM MEATBALLS (3-1) at RIVALS MAINBOARD PIMPS (3-1)
It was a close call for Game of the Week this week. However, a match-up of the AAA#1 and AAA#2 champions was too good to pass up. Both teams have started out fast in their WEPL debuts, raising the stakes even more for this show down in Smack-A-Hoe Stadium.
The Pimps looked like world-beaters during the first three weeks of play, knocking off the Trolls, Stampede and Scorgasms with relative ease. Things took a turn for the unexpected last week though when the Aggies pulled off the upset. Even in the loss, the Pimps still managed to put up over 350 yards of offense for the fourth consecutive week – something no other Zeta team has accomplished.
The Meatballs had a less auspicious beginning in Zeta. Their initial shutout win over the Stampede has lost some of its luster as Rohrheim has fallen to 1-3, but a last second win over the Aggies offset some of the sting from the 19-0 loss to the Scorgasms. Still, the Meatballs have shown the ability to compete with the big dogs in the conference, but have yet to find the consistency to be considered a truly elite team.
Pimp DE Mr. Bundy made waves this week when he posted his list of OTs he is going to face and beat. For the Meatballs, OTs Philip Finch and Free Hat were insulted that they didn’t even make his list. According to Free Hat, “Mr. Bundy smells like the goat of a motherless whore.” Strange and powerful words that will set the stage for a great showdown this weekend.
Bundy and the rest of the Pimp front seven will challenge the Meatball O-Line. In order for Stockholm to have any success on offense, the O-Line will need to be able to open up holes for HBs Just Win and The Glow and, more importantly, keep QB Tyrone Slothrop off his back. If the Meatballs can generate a rushing attack, it will open up the passing lanes while controlling the clock.
The best match-ups will occur when the Pimps have the ball. The Meatballs, like the Pimps, have a great defense that will be tested by explosive Pimp offense. All season, the Pimps have kept teams off balance by demonstrating the ability to score through the air and on the ground. Stockholm has a deep and talented secondary that matches up well with the Pimp receivers and could make life difficult for QB Phillipp Pohl. The question will be whether the Meatball front seven can shut down HBs Graig Cooper and Lee Suggs. The pressure will be on the LB corps to make strong tackles and keep the play in front of them.
Prediction:
The Pimps are stinging from their first loss and will be out for blood in this one. While the Meatballs have the talent to beat the Pimps, they have not been consistent enough for me to pick them here. The Pimps win a close one, 27-20.
Do want.
