Offseason isn't over yet, but there is already a picture forming over who's hot and who's not. These are the first rankings out there for season 4 - even before the schedule is out! Yuh! 
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Pack Leaders - These guys are the big boys that no one wants to mess with. You play against them, and you run home crying to mommy.
(1) Panther Hollow Ponkos - On paper the best team and record wise almost spotless, these guys will look to rebound from a disappointing loss in the playoffs to the Albuquerque Isotopes. Look for another 16-0 season from the Panther Hollow Men.
(2) Pittsburgh Steel Riders – Would have been undefeated had it not been for some mishaps in management, the Steel Riders – a perennially tough team look to iron out some creases in their game planning and lay a steel fist on all opposition. 16-0 season at worst.
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Alphas – Always looking for their chance to usurp the pack leaders, these guys are ready to fight at a moments notice. And they are tough down to the teeth.
(3) Brooklyn Bomb Squad – If your team relies on throwing bombs to receivers, look for these guys to put you out. The Bomb Squad is the second best team in the Eastern Conference and possess the most prolific offense led by Ghetto Heisman who caught 48% of the team’s touchdown passes and contributed 41% of the team's passing yards. With Mr. Heisman himself on the team and a group of guys who diffuses anything explosive, including your offense, these guys are the team to beat this year! 15-1 easily and if Mr. Heisman plays on “intense” they should sweep the division 16-0.
(4) Chicago Storm – Though these guys aren’t as impressive on paper as the other big boys, these alphas sure are scrappy! Willing to give up their limbs to win a game, Chicago looks to storm back to the conference championship games again, this time winning it. Record wise, not as impressive, but they win when it counts – a solid 13-3 for them.
(5) Death Valley Vipers – On paper, a ridiculously stacked team, these guys look to forget last season and slither their way into a conference game poisoning opponents as they go. 14-2.
(6) Guadalajara Gladiators – When your team is a bunch of Gladiators, you know you are tough and hard to beat. Another stacked team, these guys look to slice of the heads of all other pack members and display them on wooden stakes. 14-2
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Middle of the Pack – These guys are lucky to not be at the bottom of the food chain, as they’d be eaten alive in this cannibalistic league. 12 teams must fight for the last 4 spots or they will be endanger of being devoured!
(7) Miami Hurricanes
(8) Phoenix Scorpions
(9) Austin Packers
(10) Jacktown Gangstas
(11) Enghave Evolution
(12) Iowa Hogeyes
(13) Omaha Lightning
(14) Cybermagination Dreams
(15) Indianapolis Thunderhawks
(16) Midgets on Roids
(17) Philadelphia Birds
(18) Bakersfield Nanananas
(19) Texas Shaggy Bevos
(20) Birmingham Bombers
(21) TBD
(22) TBD
(23) TBD
(24) TBD
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Pack Snack Attack – Pretty much a bag of Frito Lays without the potential heart attack that comes with it. Hopefully your team doesn’t fall in this category.
(25) TBD
(26) TBD
(27) TBD
(28) TBD
(29) TBD
(30) TBD
(31) TBD
(32) D League #11 Team – If you end up here, I don’t know what to say to you, except maybe some last words at a funeral procession.
- - - - - - -- - - - - - - - -
Pack Leaders - These guys are the big boys that no one wants to mess with. You play against them, and you run home crying to mommy.
(1) Panther Hollow Ponkos - On paper the best team and record wise almost spotless, these guys will look to rebound from a disappointing loss in the playoffs to the Albuquerque Isotopes. Look for another 16-0 season from the Panther Hollow Men.
(2) Pittsburgh Steel Riders – Would have been undefeated had it not been for some mishaps in management, the Steel Riders – a perennially tough team look to iron out some creases in their game planning and lay a steel fist on all opposition. 16-0 season at worst.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Alphas – Always looking for their chance to usurp the pack leaders, these guys are ready to fight at a moments notice. And they are tough down to the teeth.
(3) Brooklyn Bomb Squad – If your team relies on throwing bombs to receivers, look for these guys to put you out. The Bomb Squad is the second best team in the Eastern Conference and possess the most prolific offense led by Ghetto Heisman who caught 48% of the team’s touchdown passes and contributed 41% of the team's passing yards. With Mr. Heisman himself on the team and a group of guys who diffuses anything explosive, including your offense, these guys are the team to beat this year! 15-1 easily and if Mr. Heisman plays on “intense” they should sweep the division 16-0.
(4) Chicago Storm – Though these guys aren’t as impressive on paper as the other big boys, these alphas sure are scrappy! Willing to give up their limbs to win a game, Chicago looks to storm back to the conference championship games again, this time winning it. Record wise, not as impressive, but they win when it counts – a solid 13-3 for them.
(5) Death Valley Vipers – On paper, a ridiculously stacked team, these guys look to forget last season and slither their way into a conference game poisoning opponents as they go. 14-2.
(6) Guadalajara Gladiators – When your team is a bunch of Gladiators, you know you are tough and hard to beat. Another stacked team, these guys look to slice of the heads of all other pack members and display them on wooden stakes. 14-2
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Middle of the Pack – These guys are lucky to not be at the bottom of the food chain, as they’d be eaten alive in this cannibalistic league. 12 teams must fight for the last 4 spots or they will be endanger of being devoured!
(7) Miami Hurricanes
(8) Phoenix Scorpions
(9) Austin Packers
(10) Jacktown Gangstas
(11) Enghave Evolution
(12) Iowa Hogeyes
(13) Omaha Lightning
(14) Cybermagination Dreams
(15) Indianapolis Thunderhawks
(16) Midgets on Roids
(17) Philadelphia Birds
(18) Bakersfield Nanananas
(19) Texas Shaggy Bevos
(20) Birmingham Bombers
(21) TBD
(22) TBD
(23) TBD
(24) TBD
- - - - - - - - - -
Pack Snack Attack – Pretty much a bag of Frito Lays without the potential heart attack that comes with it. Hopefully your team doesn’t fall in this category.
(25) TBD
(26) TBD
(27) TBD
(28) TBD
(29) TBD
(30) TBD
(31) TBD
(32) D League #11 Team – If you end up here, I don’t know what to say to you, except maybe some last words at a funeral procession.
Last edited Jul 25, 2008 16:20:15
