Miami Carniceros vs. Albany Mammoths 27-10
The Carniceros got to pad their stats and perform a bit more posturing vs the Albany Mammoths. While still reeling from their exposure earlier this season at the hands of HO Playbook, Miami is sure to have satisfied many of their power ranking doubters with the "awesome" 185 yards rushing they put up against "stiff" competition. For Albany, it appears a losing season is all but guaranteed but that's what you get when you field a bunch of stiffs.
Chicago Dire Wolves vs. St. Louis Beer Barons 6-10
This game featured some serious excitement as the St. Louis Beer Baron's punting was just barely able to equal the Dire wolves entire offense. Lead by a fearsome pass attack, the Barons were able to manage 3.5 yards per attempt and eek out that 1 touchdown that it usually takes to defeat Chicago.
Nashville Dores vs. Ho Playbook 6-91
True champions aren't decided in the heart of battle. They aren't decided by how well they gut out a close game against a tough opponent. No. The real heart of a champion lies in how well it struts during a blowout against virtually no opposition. Much as the Gangsters have done all season in garnering top tier ratings, Ho Playbook racked up the stats against a CPU team and now must be considered the premier eastern conference club.
Cleveland Steamer vs. Montpelier Morticians 27-0
Despite a seemingly impressive win against HO Playbook earlier in the season in now appears that the Morticians are in fact pretenders and were simply able to exploit a complicated Playbook offense that was not yet firing on all cylinders in the early season. The shattered Montpelier unit combined for 81.5 yards offense at about 1.8 yards per play. If a team gives you 5 downs and you can pull of 1.8 yards per play you'll only end up 1 yard short a first down. The Norticians are clearly better off handling the Albany Stiffs than actual competition.
Charlotte Clamjousters vs. Miami Sharks 20-13
When you consider that this game saw 448.5 yards of total offense and 650 yards of punting, you have to give these teams a lot of credit for racking up 33 points. However, nothing either of these teams does individually is vaguely impressive by itself. Perhaps two pieces of crap can combine to make something more than just another piece of crap.
New York Doom vs. Tampa Elite 72-0
New York was granted a reprieve this week from the severe on the field problems they've been experiencing due to competition with real teams. Tampa Bay, never one to be confused with a real franchise, did their part as the scheduled slump-buster. New York's front office has come under increased scrutiny from the media but fortunately the players didn't allow the embarrassing situation to carry over onto the field. Instead, they whipped out their equipment and pumped the ball up and down the field until they had busted their slump all over the Tampa Bay field.
Pittsburgh Irons vs. Palmyra Cougars 0-24
Despite some one point losses to middle of the pack opponents Indy and NY, Palmyra still hasn't been able to get their stuff together. Palmyra's Fletcher threw 5 interceptions, three of which to the league leader-in missed tackles- wood rodson. Despite all these interceptions the Irons were unable to score but that's ok when you are building this season for a rebuilding season next year.
Indianapolis Gangsters vs. Radio City Irrelevants 26-21
Just because you are the better team doesn't mean you can have a -5 turnover ratio and still win as Radio City found out yesterday. Despite their severe ball control problems the game still remained very close and you have to believe Radio City will be able to hold on and pull it out if this match up occurs again in the playoffs.
The Eastern Powers:
1. Ho Playbook - an intricate and exceedingly complicated offense firing on all cylinders plus the best defense in the east secure them comfortable at #1
2. St Louis Beer Barons - Guts and determination make this team one of the beasts in the east.
3. Palmyra Cougars - This is a team that could easily be 6-2 instead of 2-6 with four losses of three or fewer points.
The 3B9 League MVP race:
1. Ol' Dirty Bastard - He's got the prerequisites for a non-QB MVP: he's black, he can run really fast, and he leads the league in lots of important stats.
2. Quarter Backer - He's got the prerequisites for a QB MVP: He's white, handsome, and leads the best passing offense in the league.
3. Angrie Blaqman - The MVP isn't just about on the field performance. It's also about off the field media attention and Angrie Blaqman is blowing away the competition on that front.
4. Alika Smith - As a low profile defensive player he's a long shot but his awesome defensive contribution can't be ignored (league leading 13 sacks, 3rd in hurries). He'll have to work on his after sack separation for the cameras though if he wants to improve his odds.
The Carniceros got to pad their stats and perform a bit more posturing vs the Albany Mammoths. While still reeling from their exposure earlier this season at the hands of HO Playbook, Miami is sure to have satisfied many of their power ranking doubters with the "awesome" 185 yards rushing they put up against "stiff" competition. For Albany, it appears a losing season is all but guaranteed but that's what you get when you field a bunch of stiffs.
Chicago Dire Wolves vs. St. Louis Beer Barons 6-10
This game featured some serious excitement as the St. Louis Beer Baron's punting was just barely able to equal the Dire wolves entire offense. Lead by a fearsome pass attack, the Barons were able to manage 3.5 yards per attempt and eek out that 1 touchdown that it usually takes to defeat Chicago.
Nashville Dores vs. Ho Playbook 6-91
True champions aren't decided in the heart of battle. They aren't decided by how well they gut out a close game against a tough opponent. No. The real heart of a champion lies in how well it struts during a blowout against virtually no opposition. Much as the Gangsters have done all season in garnering top tier ratings, Ho Playbook racked up the stats against a CPU team and now must be considered the premier eastern conference club.
Cleveland Steamer vs. Montpelier Morticians 27-0
Despite a seemingly impressive win against HO Playbook earlier in the season in now appears that the Morticians are in fact pretenders and were simply able to exploit a complicated Playbook offense that was not yet firing on all cylinders in the early season. The shattered Montpelier unit combined for 81.5 yards offense at about 1.8 yards per play. If a team gives you 5 downs and you can pull of 1.8 yards per play you'll only end up 1 yard short a first down. The Norticians are clearly better off handling the Albany Stiffs than actual competition.
Charlotte Clamjousters vs. Miami Sharks 20-13
When you consider that this game saw 448.5 yards of total offense and 650 yards of punting, you have to give these teams a lot of credit for racking up 33 points. However, nothing either of these teams does individually is vaguely impressive by itself. Perhaps two pieces of crap can combine to make something more than just another piece of crap.
New York Doom vs. Tampa Elite 72-0
New York was granted a reprieve this week from the severe on the field problems they've been experiencing due to competition with real teams. Tampa Bay, never one to be confused with a real franchise, did their part as the scheduled slump-buster. New York's front office has come under increased scrutiny from the media but fortunately the players didn't allow the embarrassing situation to carry over onto the field. Instead, they whipped out their equipment and pumped the ball up and down the field until they had busted their slump all over the Tampa Bay field.
Pittsburgh Irons vs. Palmyra Cougars 0-24
Despite some one point losses to middle of the pack opponents Indy and NY, Palmyra still hasn't been able to get their stuff together. Palmyra's Fletcher threw 5 interceptions, three of which to the league leader-in missed tackles- wood rodson. Despite all these interceptions the Irons were unable to score but that's ok when you are building this season for a rebuilding season next year.
Indianapolis Gangsters vs. Radio City Irrelevants 26-21
Just because you are the better team doesn't mean you can have a -5 turnover ratio and still win as Radio City found out yesterday. Despite their severe ball control problems the game still remained very close and you have to believe Radio City will be able to hold on and pull it out if this match up occurs again in the playoffs.
The Eastern Powers:
1. Ho Playbook - an intricate and exceedingly complicated offense firing on all cylinders plus the best defense in the east secure them comfortable at #1
2. St Louis Beer Barons - Guts and determination make this team one of the beasts in the east.
3. Palmyra Cougars - This is a team that could easily be 6-2 instead of 2-6 with four losses of three or fewer points.
The 3B9 League MVP race:
1. Ol' Dirty Bastard - He's got the prerequisites for a non-QB MVP: he's black, he can run really fast, and he leads the league in lots of important stats.
2. Quarter Backer - He's got the prerequisites for a QB MVP: He's white, handsome, and leads the best passing offense in the league.
3. Angrie Blaqman - The MVP isn't just about on the field performance. It's also about off the field media attention and Angrie Blaqman is blowing away the competition on that front.
4. Alika Smith - As a low profile defensive player he's a long shot but his awesome defensive contribution can't be ignored (league leading 13 sacks, 3rd in hurries). He'll have to work on his after sack separation for the cameras though if he wants to improve his odds.
Last edited Jun 27, 2008 15:41:15
