Texan’s Week 4 Picks
Usual disclaimer: this is my opinion only. If you don’t like it, I still love you.
Hearkening back to last season’s popular video game series, this week’s theme is Texan’s favorite games of all time.
Picks record this season: 43-5
Naga
Game of the Week
Portland Dirty Penguins (3-0) v Sainte Foy Cyclones (3-0)
This week’s only matchup of undefeated teams in Naga seems to be the natural selection for GoTW. PDP looked amazing last time out against CoP, while SFC has yet to really face a top tier team. The different in talent between SFC’s previous schedule and PDP is like the distance between here an Alpha Centauri http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=035cpHEowS4 PDP 56, SFC 20
Other Games
Victoria Teabaggers (3-0) v Semarang Red Bulls (0-3)
VT just crushed GHB last game and easily mocked my predicted margin of victory. Now they’re the next to greet Semarang on their farewell tour. Could be rougher than the Oregon Trail http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfbGEP087HM was to Louis and Clark. VT 255, Semarang 0
Palembang Drunken Monks (3-0) v Golden Hill Bones (2-1)
I still say GHB is better than last season, but they just got caught up in a perfect storm last time out against VT. I expect they’ll perform better this time. The Monks meanwhile are really feeling the Call of Duty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO4caTLqqoM to move from SEA up to the next level. Monks 49, GHB 20
Royal Blue Drunken Smurfs of Funkalicious Labatt (3-0) v Woody Island Wolverines (2-1)
WIW is always something of an enigma where you are always pretty sure they’re better than they look, but you never know. The Smurfs have defied the odds thus far in walzting to to a 3-0 start like Leisure Suit Larry http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KR5Ae8QE60 and now are facing another challenge. It’s not the perfect way to predict things but the Smurfs beat BLPP and WIW didn’t. Smurfs 35, WIW 28
Tibetan Drunk Monks (2-1) v Las Vegas Dirty Hookers (0-3)
LVDH almost pulled out the miracle win last time versus SFC and now they take on a more manageable game in TDM. TDM meanwhile has been blessed with a very favorable early schedule and this is another potential win for them. Las Vegas may want to get back to Civilization http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoCKsP2wVvg by the time this one’s over. TDM 23, LVDH 21
Cult of Personalities (2-1) v Benton Harbor Havoc (1-2)
CoP was housed last week by PDP and now would like to take out their frustrations on a pretty good BHH team that has had a rough starting schedule. These guys are going to have to go to battle like a couple of Knights of the Old Republic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBjxiUVJsu4 to find out their place in the pecking order of Naga. CoP 38, BHH 17
Bandar Lampung Pigskin Pirates (1-2) v Singapore Slingers (0-3)
BLPP’s return to SEA has not been all that kind thus far, but they have played 3 playoff teams in their first 3 games and have been very competitive. SS on the other hand has not been competitive to date. This is like one of those Madden 11 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yGl0beOPpQ games with your buddies where you have to play with Cincinnati or something. BLPP 56, SS 7
Wichita Black Magic (0-3) v Hong Kong Hustlers (0-3)
Speaking of farewell tours, HKH is also on theirs and it pretty much looks the same as their old rival Semarang’s. WBM has had a tough start to their SEA career, but it gets better here. It’s like their fighting Glass Joe in Mike Tyson’s Punch Out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q02MqU28qog WBM 175, HKH 3
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lolgaruda
Game of the Week
Phu Khao Bow Chicka Brown Cows (2-1) v Destin Leviathans (2-1)
Destin surprised me a little bit by how easily they jacked up TL last time out but I still don’t really know where they stand in the big picture. Same can be said of the Cows with the way they were handled by MKC. Neither team has exactly looked like it belongs in Gran Turismo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBv0SEKNyRU thus far, but one of them can get on the right rack after this one. Cows 31, Destin 28
Other Games
SDSU Aztecs (3-0) v Tanzania Lightning (2-1)
How bout them Lightning, err Aztecs? They are looking sharp thus far and will be in the running for best new team of the year in lolgaruda with Destin and NBA. TL meanwhile got handled by the aforementioned Destin last time out and they’re probably hoping that SDSU isn’t quite that good. Will TL pull it out or will SDSU lead them through the Baldur’s Gate http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP4PYHDzEdM to no-playoff land? SDSU 42, TL 21
Three Kingdom Warriors (3-0) v Mandalay King Cobras (1-2)
Boy, MKC is a pretty good team but they just can’t catch a break in their early schedule. Hey, it’ll pay off on the back end. TKW was pushed to the limit last time out against Buffalo and were saved by a timely fumble towards the end of the game. I’m guessing it won’t be quite that close for TKW this time out and I expect them to look more like thier Rock Band http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJvIXF87eQM selves. TKW 42, MKC 17
Wu Dang Kung Fu Academy (2-1) v Shanghai Tigers (1-2)
KFA finally got their offense back on a track a little bit last time out and now they get a Shanghai team that has been good on offense all season, although not so much on D. Anyway, if they are capable of scoring points, they might be dangerous. KFA better get their Kung Fu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwsuD3RP1SU polished up for the rest of the season. KFA 55, Shanghai 27
Krakow Kryptonite (2-1) v NBA Jam Extreme (1-2)
This could be the most entertaining game of the week in lolgaruda. Both teams are playoff teams and both have some exciting players. Don’t sleep on Jam’s record, they’ve had a tough opening schedule. Meanwhile, Krakow seems to have turned on their OAI, so watch out. I do favor NBA Jam http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDV9j1OlR3A a bit in this one. NBA 35, Krakow 31
Atlantic Great Whites (2-1) v Buffalo Rampage (1-2)
AGW is off to a pretty good start this season, but the schedule just got a whole lot tougher. The opposite is true for Buffalo, who has played extremely well against the league’s toughest schedule to date. I would expect Buffalo to start cruising the lolgaruda seas like Pirates http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G43AYE3C4LA for the rest of the season. Buffalo 65, AGW 10
Boston Bears (1-2) v Bourbontown BlueCats (0-3)
Both of these teams are off to a slow start, but if Boston wins they’re right back in the thick of things. I don’t think the BBC is finding the SEA to their liking thus far. I expect this one to get a little violent like Blood Bowl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHXYYEpbJ4A Boston 42, BBC 20
Halifax Harpoons (0-3) v Island of Misfit Toys (0-3)
These two teams have both had a tough start to the season and both of them have given up a lot of points to date, kinda like when you used to roll over the score in Asteroids http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZ14B93KZFs back in the day. One of them can start feeling a lot better with a big W. Halifax 27, IMT 24
Usual disclaimer: this is my opinion only. If you don’t like it, I still love you.
Hearkening back to last season’s popular video game series, this week’s theme is Texan’s favorite games of all time.
Picks record this season: 43-5
Naga
Game of the Week
Portland Dirty Penguins (3-0) v Sainte Foy Cyclones (3-0)
This week’s only matchup of undefeated teams in Naga seems to be the natural selection for GoTW. PDP looked amazing last time out against CoP, while SFC has yet to really face a top tier team. The different in talent between SFC’s previous schedule and PDP is like the distance between here an Alpha Centauri http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=035cpHEowS4 PDP 56, SFC 20
Other Games
Victoria Teabaggers (3-0) v Semarang Red Bulls (0-3)
VT just crushed GHB last game and easily mocked my predicted margin of victory. Now they’re the next to greet Semarang on their farewell tour. Could be rougher than the Oregon Trail http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfbGEP087HM was to Louis and Clark. VT 255, Semarang 0
Palembang Drunken Monks (3-0) v Golden Hill Bones (2-1)
I still say GHB is better than last season, but they just got caught up in a perfect storm last time out against VT. I expect they’ll perform better this time. The Monks meanwhile are really feeling the Call of Duty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO4caTLqqoM to move from SEA up to the next level. Monks 49, GHB 20
Royal Blue Drunken Smurfs of Funkalicious Labatt (3-0) v Woody Island Wolverines (2-1)
WIW is always something of an enigma where you are always pretty sure they’re better than they look, but you never know. The Smurfs have defied the odds thus far in walzting to to a 3-0 start like Leisure Suit Larry http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KR5Ae8QE60 and now are facing another challenge. It’s not the perfect way to predict things but the Smurfs beat BLPP and WIW didn’t. Smurfs 35, WIW 28
Tibetan Drunk Monks (2-1) v Las Vegas Dirty Hookers (0-3)
LVDH almost pulled out the miracle win last time versus SFC and now they take on a more manageable game in TDM. TDM meanwhile has been blessed with a very favorable early schedule and this is another potential win for them. Las Vegas may want to get back to Civilization http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoCKsP2wVvg by the time this one’s over. TDM 23, LVDH 21
Cult of Personalities (2-1) v Benton Harbor Havoc (1-2)
CoP was housed last week by PDP and now would like to take out their frustrations on a pretty good BHH team that has had a rough starting schedule. These guys are going to have to go to battle like a couple of Knights of the Old Republic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBjxiUVJsu4 to find out their place in the pecking order of Naga. CoP 38, BHH 17
Bandar Lampung Pigskin Pirates (1-2) v Singapore Slingers (0-3)
BLPP’s return to SEA has not been all that kind thus far, but they have played 3 playoff teams in their first 3 games and have been very competitive. SS on the other hand has not been competitive to date. This is like one of those Madden 11 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yGl0beOPpQ games with your buddies where you have to play with Cincinnati or something. BLPP 56, SS 7
Wichita Black Magic (0-3) v Hong Kong Hustlers (0-3)
Speaking of farewell tours, HKH is also on theirs and it pretty much looks the same as their old rival Semarang’s. WBM has had a tough start to their SEA career, but it gets better here. It’s like their fighting Glass Joe in Mike Tyson’s Punch Out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q02MqU28qog WBM 175, HKH 3
__________________________________________________
lolgaruda
Game of the Week
Phu Khao Bow Chicka Brown Cows (2-1) v Destin Leviathans (2-1)
Destin surprised me a little bit by how easily they jacked up TL last time out but I still don’t really know where they stand in the big picture. Same can be said of the Cows with the way they were handled by MKC. Neither team has exactly looked like it belongs in Gran Turismo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBv0SEKNyRU thus far, but one of them can get on the right rack after this one. Cows 31, Destin 28
Other Games
SDSU Aztecs (3-0) v Tanzania Lightning (2-1)
How bout them Lightning, err Aztecs? They are looking sharp thus far and will be in the running for best new team of the year in lolgaruda with Destin and NBA. TL meanwhile got handled by the aforementioned Destin last time out and they’re probably hoping that SDSU isn’t quite that good. Will TL pull it out or will SDSU lead them through the Baldur’s Gate http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP4PYHDzEdM to no-playoff land? SDSU 42, TL 21
Three Kingdom Warriors (3-0) v Mandalay King Cobras (1-2)
Boy, MKC is a pretty good team but they just can’t catch a break in their early schedule. Hey, it’ll pay off on the back end. TKW was pushed to the limit last time out against Buffalo and were saved by a timely fumble towards the end of the game. I’m guessing it won’t be quite that close for TKW this time out and I expect them to look more like thier Rock Band http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJvIXF87eQM selves. TKW 42, MKC 17
Wu Dang Kung Fu Academy (2-1) v Shanghai Tigers (1-2)
KFA finally got their offense back on a track a little bit last time out and now they get a Shanghai team that has been good on offense all season, although not so much on D. Anyway, if they are capable of scoring points, they might be dangerous. KFA better get their Kung Fu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwsuD3RP1SU polished up for the rest of the season. KFA 55, Shanghai 27
Krakow Kryptonite (2-1) v NBA Jam Extreme (1-2)
This could be the most entertaining game of the week in lolgaruda. Both teams are playoff teams and both have some exciting players. Don’t sleep on Jam’s record, they’ve had a tough opening schedule. Meanwhile, Krakow seems to have turned on their OAI, so watch out. I do favor NBA Jam http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDV9j1OlR3A a bit in this one. NBA 35, Krakow 31
Atlantic Great Whites (2-1) v Buffalo Rampage (1-2)
AGW is off to a pretty good start this season, but the schedule just got a whole lot tougher. The opposite is true for Buffalo, who has played extremely well against the league’s toughest schedule to date. I would expect Buffalo to start cruising the lolgaruda seas like Pirates http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G43AYE3C4LA for the rest of the season. Buffalo 65, AGW 10
Boston Bears (1-2) v Bourbontown BlueCats (0-3)
Both of these teams are off to a slow start, but if Boston wins they’re right back in the thick of things. I don’t think the BBC is finding the SEA to their liking thus far. I expect this one to get a little violent like Blood Bowl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHXYYEpbJ4A Boston 42, BBC 20
Halifax Harpoons (0-3) v Island of Misfit Toys (0-3)
These two teams have both had a tough start to the season and both of them have given up a lot of points to date, kinda like when you used to roll over the score in Asteroids http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZ14B93KZFs back in the day. One of them can start feeling a lot better with a big W. Halifax 27, IMT 24
