Week 4 Predictions
Usual disclaimer: this is my opinion only. If you don’t like it, I still love you.
Welcome to Airplane! week, honoring Leslie Nielson.
Naga
Game Of The Week
Hong Kong Hustlers (3-0) v Woody Island Wolverines (3-0)
An early showdown that should tell us a little more of which team is likely to make a playoff splash in a very tough Naga race. Definitely GoTW material. In a matchup of two such talented teams the coordinators are going to have to really “concentrate... concentrate... I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...” WW 35, HKH 31
Other Games
Semarang Red Bulls (3-0) v Dayton Raiders (0-3)
Even this early in the season, mirror image record games can get ugly. This could be one of those times. I saw Raiders12 walking around and could have sworn I heard him say “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.” I could be wrong though. Semarang 65, Dayton 6
Krungthep Garudas (3-0) v Golden Hill Bones (1-2)
GHB is really a pretty good team but they’ve been victimized thus far by a really rough schedule. Unfortunately for them that does not change here. Just keep a positive outlook and it will all work out ok. “You'll be swell, you'll be great. Gonna have the whole world on a plate. Startin' here, startin' now. Honey, everything's comin' up roses...” Ok, maybe not starting quite now, but soon. Krungthep 45, GHB 20
The Outlaw Hustlers (3-0) v Sainte Foy Cyclones (1-2)
This is one of those games where record doesn’t really tell the story. SFC is a very good team with a brutal schedule thus far. TOH is a new team that may or may not be good but has had any easy schedule thus far. We’re fixin’ to find out a bit more about them. You should read up on SFC for sure. “How about this leaflet, ‘Famous Jewish Sports Legends?’” I’m not sure of their race or creed, but it can’t hurt. SFC 30, TOH 17
Palembang Drunken Monks (3-0) v Royal Blue Drunken Smurfs of Funkalicious Labatt (0-3)
The Smurfs are rebuilding. The Monks are reloaded. It could get ugly but it’s all in the family. Blue, “Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does.” Monks 75, Blue 3
Victoria Tebaggers (2-1) v Benton Harbor Havoc (1-2)
VT is looking to compete for a playoffs spot in a nasty conference and BHH is probably just hoping to stick around for next season when they’ll be a bit strong. This game probably won’t help with that. I heard the BHH boys mumbling something to the effect of “'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!” Not sure what that means, I don’t speak jive, this is SEA. VT 42, BHH 17
Orlando Praying Mantis (2-1) v Tibetan Drunk Monks (0-3)
The schedule gods blessed OPM in the early part of the season and they have another winnable game here, but it won’t be easy. It’s probably a pretty even matchup tbh. Right now though I’m more worried about the TDM cheerleaders. “Where did you get that dress, it's awful, and those shoes and that coat, jeeeeez!” OPM 24, TDM 21
Portland Dirty Penguins (0-3) v Dayton Blackhawks (0-3)
Someone picks up their first win here while the loser starts worrying about relegation. PDP has been a SEAPL stalwart for a long time, so I’m guessing they find a way to recover. “No... that's just what they'll be expecting us to do!” PDP 35, Dayton 24
__________________________________________________
lolgaruda
Game of the Week
Krakow Kryptonite (2-1) v Buffalo Knights (2-1)
Last week I rewarded Krakow with GoTW status and they really delivered, so here it is once again. The “other” Buffalo meanwhile lost a tough one to bitter rival Rampage. The winner here is probably in the running for a home playoff game, but both will likely be in the big dance. In a matchup this close, it’s all about details. Scouting, special teams, etc. “The oil pressure. I forgot to check the oil pressure! When Kramer hears about this, the shit's going to hit the fan!” KK 31, Buffalo 30
Other Games
New York Empire (3-0) v Mandalay King Cobras (2-1)
Much improved Mandalay takes on NYE, the sole proprietor of first place in lolgaruda. I like Mandalay’s playoff chances this season, but don’t much like their chances in this particular game. “Let's see... altitude: 21,000 feet. Speed: 520 knots. Level flight. Course: zero-niner-zero. Trim and mixture: wash, soak, rinse, spin.” See? Soak should come before wash, you guys still have a few things to learn. NYE 45, Mandalay 20
Phu Khao Bow Chicka Brown Cows (2-1) v Boston Bears (2-1)
Ok, it’s a whole lot easier to type Boston Bears, just saying. Generally when a Cow and a Bear fight I’ll bet on the bear, but hey, maybe it’s a longhorn and a small black bear? That could be the case here. Just don’t get too nervous. “At this point, the entire digestive system collapses accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence.” Cows 38, Bears 28
Buffalo Rampage (2-1) v Atlantic Great Whites (1-2)
AGW would love to stay on the fringe of the playoff race like last season and have a shot to maybe sneak in at the end. Buffalo seems to only think in terms of playoffs meanwhile. You know Buffalo, “I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense...And that you don't really try... except during the playoffs.” Buffalo 45, AGW 26
Halifax Harpoons (2-1) v Island of Misfit Toys (1-2)
So far both teams have won the games they should win and lost the games they should lose. That creates a quandary here because who should win this one? Just remember, if you want to make the playoffs, you have to keep your nose up and keep winning. “Ted, the altitude! We're falling, Ted! We're falling! *The mountains, Ted! The mountains!*” Halifax 20, IMT 17
Tanzania Lumberjacks (2-1) v Praha Velvet Revolution (0-3)
Tanzania is that team no one saw coming that will probably make the playoffs. Happens with some team every season. Praha is that team that I was picking to win for some reason that I should not have picked to win. Also happens every season. I could have sworn I heard the PVR crew mumbling “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.” Tanzania 45, Praha 10
Wu Dang Kung Fu Academy (1-2) v Awendaw Toadfish (0-3)
Wu’s starting schedule was pretty rough, but it lightens up from here. Not as much for Awendaw, who could be in for a very long season. Welcome back? “Severe shell-shock. Thinks he's Ethel Merman.” Wu 52, Awendaw 13
Chaotic Crew (1-2) v Mandanum CPU (CPU)
Welcome back to .500 CC! It’s good to see you guys will be sticking around for next season. Meanwhile, gtfo CPU guys. You know what I always say “Hey... knock a self a pro, Slick! That gray matter backlot perform us DOWN, I take TCB-in', man!” CC 220, CPU 0
Usual disclaimer: this is my opinion only. If you don’t like it, I still love you.
Welcome to Airplane! week, honoring Leslie Nielson.
Naga
Game Of The Week
Hong Kong Hustlers (3-0) v Woody Island Wolverines (3-0)
An early showdown that should tell us a little more of which team is likely to make a playoff splash in a very tough Naga race. Definitely GoTW material. In a matchup of two such talented teams the coordinators are going to have to really “concentrate... concentrate... I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...” WW 35, HKH 31
Other Games
Semarang Red Bulls (3-0) v Dayton Raiders (0-3)
Even this early in the season, mirror image record games can get ugly. This could be one of those times. I saw Raiders12 walking around and could have sworn I heard him say “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.” I could be wrong though. Semarang 65, Dayton 6
Krungthep Garudas (3-0) v Golden Hill Bones (1-2)
GHB is really a pretty good team but they’ve been victimized thus far by a really rough schedule. Unfortunately for them that does not change here. Just keep a positive outlook and it will all work out ok. “You'll be swell, you'll be great. Gonna have the whole world on a plate. Startin' here, startin' now. Honey, everything's comin' up roses...” Ok, maybe not starting quite now, but soon. Krungthep 45, GHB 20
The Outlaw Hustlers (3-0) v Sainte Foy Cyclones (1-2)
This is one of those games where record doesn’t really tell the story. SFC is a very good team with a brutal schedule thus far. TOH is a new team that may or may not be good but has had any easy schedule thus far. We’re fixin’ to find out a bit more about them. You should read up on SFC for sure. “How about this leaflet, ‘Famous Jewish Sports Legends?’” I’m not sure of their race or creed, but it can’t hurt. SFC 30, TOH 17
Palembang Drunken Monks (3-0) v Royal Blue Drunken Smurfs of Funkalicious Labatt (0-3)
The Smurfs are rebuilding. The Monks are reloaded. It could get ugly but it’s all in the family. Blue, “Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does.” Monks 75, Blue 3
Victoria Tebaggers (2-1) v Benton Harbor Havoc (1-2)
VT is looking to compete for a playoffs spot in a nasty conference and BHH is probably just hoping to stick around for next season when they’ll be a bit strong. This game probably won’t help with that. I heard the BHH boys mumbling something to the effect of “'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!” Not sure what that means, I don’t speak jive, this is SEA. VT 42, BHH 17
Orlando Praying Mantis (2-1) v Tibetan Drunk Monks (0-3)
The schedule gods blessed OPM in the early part of the season and they have another winnable game here, but it won’t be easy. It’s probably a pretty even matchup tbh. Right now though I’m more worried about the TDM cheerleaders. “Where did you get that dress, it's awful, and those shoes and that coat, jeeeeez!” OPM 24, TDM 21
Portland Dirty Penguins (0-3) v Dayton Blackhawks (0-3)
Someone picks up their first win here while the loser starts worrying about relegation. PDP has been a SEAPL stalwart for a long time, so I’m guessing they find a way to recover. “No... that's just what they'll be expecting us to do!” PDP 35, Dayton 24
__________________________________________________
lolgaruda
Game of the Week
Krakow Kryptonite (2-1) v Buffalo Knights (2-1)
Last week I rewarded Krakow with GoTW status and they really delivered, so here it is once again. The “other” Buffalo meanwhile lost a tough one to bitter rival Rampage. The winner here is probably in the running for a home playoff game, but both will likely be in the big dance. In a matchup this close, it’s all about details. Scouting, special teams, etc. “The oil pressure. I forgot to check the oil pressure! When Kramer hears about this, the shit's going to hit the fan!” KK 31, Buffalo 30
Other Games
New York Empire (3-0) v Mandalay King Cobras (2-1)
Much improved Mandalay takes on NYE, the sole proprietor of first place in lolgaruda. I like Mandalay’s playoff chances this season, but don’t much like their chances in this particular game. “Let's see... altitude: 21,000 feet. Speed: 520 knots. Level flight. Course: zero-niner-zero. Trim and mixture: wash, soak, rinse, spin.” See? Soak should come before wash, you guys still have a few things to learn. NYE 45, Mandalay 20
Phu Khao Bow Chicka Brown Cows (2-1) v Boston Bears (2-1)
Ok, it’s a whole lot easier to type Boston Bears, just saying. Generally when a Cow and a Bear fight I’ll bet on the bear, but hey, maybe it’s a longhorn and a small black bear? That could be the case here. Just don’t get too nervous. “At this point, the entire digestive system collapses accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence.” Cows 38, Bears 28
Buffalo Rampage (2-1) v Atlantic Great Whites (1-2)
AGW would love to stay on the fringe of the playoff race like last season and have a shot to maybe sneak in at the end. Buffalo seems to only think in terms of playoffs meanwhile. You know Buffalo, “I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense...And that you don't really try... except during the playoffs.” Buffalo 45, AGW 26
Halifax Harpoons (2-1) v Island of Misfit Toys (1-2)
So far both teams have won the games they should win and lost the games they should lose. That creates a quandary here because who should win this one? Just remember, if you want to make the playoffs, you have to keep your nose up and keep winning. “Ted, the altitude! We're falling, Ted! We're falling! *The mountains, Ted! The mountains!*” Halifax 20, IMT 17
Tanzania Lumberjacks (2-1) v Praha Velvet Revolution (0-3)
Tanzania is that team no one saw coming that will probably make the playoffs. Happens with some team every season. Praha is that team that I was picking to win for some reason that I should not have picked to win. Also happens every season. I could have sworn I heard the PVR crew mumbling “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.” Tanzania 45, Praha 10
Wu Dang Kung Fu Academy (1-2) v Awendaw Toadfish (0-3)
Wu’s starting schedule was pretty rough, but it lightens up from here. Not as much for Awendaw, who could be in for a very long season. Welcome back? “Severe shell-shock. Thinks he's Ethel Merman.” Wu 52, Awendaw 13
Chaotic Crew (1-2) v Mandanum CPU (CPU)
Welcome back to .500 CC! It’s good to see you guys will be sticking around for next season. Meanwhile, gtfo CPU guys. You know what I always say “Hey... knock a self a pro, Slick! That gray matter backlot perform us DOWN, I take TCB-in', man!” CC 220, CPU 0
