--- TOP DOGS ---
Saigon Whores
Season 14: 15-1 SEA Pro, Conference runners-up
Overview: Well, if you don't know what these guys did last season, you'd better start taking notes. They ran through the conference, falling only to PDP (although they later claimed that was deliberate), and marched through the playoffs looking virtually unstoppable despite being loaded with Season 6 builds. Did they tank to NBA Jam to give this team another year to mature before hitting the World League? It's possible, and it wouldn't be a bad strategy -- not with the dots these guys have.
Outlook: After some minor roster tweaks and a pretty uneventful offseason, the Whores are looking right on target to march through the conference again and take a dip in the World League pool for Season 16. By far the favorite to win Naga, they also all chose archetypes that maxed out Swagger and caused a penalty to the little-known Humility SA: they're predicting at least 11 wins by 100 or more points. It sounds crazy, but let's be realistic -- the chances that anyone can stop them from moving on to World League next season are pretty slim.
--- CONTENDERS ---
Palembang Drunken Monks
Season 14: 13-3 SEA Pro, Third Place
OVerview: The Monks looked good all season except for big stumbles against the Jam and Saigon. But then again, those two teams killed everyone. The Monks advanced to the second round of the playoffs before falling to the eventual league champion. Palembang used a balanced offensive attack and relied heavily on one of the top defenses in SEA Pro.
Outlook: Palembang looked ready to go right from the start of the preseason, gearing up for what will be a tough battle to wrench the anticipated league title away from Saigon. And it's not going to be easy, but this is a storied SEA franchise which has never missed the playoffs since its inception in Season 3. If anyone can give the Whores a run, it's Palembang. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone can give them a run.
Shadow Lake Snakeheads
Season 14: 12-4 SEA Pro, Fourth Place
OVerview: The rookies took the league by surprise last season, and their accomplishments remained a bit overshadowed by the successes of Saigon and the Jam. But these Snakeheads racked up 12 wins before falling in the first round of the playoffs. The Snakeheads had an especially dominant defense whose season included holding the Whores to just 34 points.
Outlook: On paper, these guys look every bit as good as the Monks or Psychonauts, meaning they could once again surprise the league if they get a favorable schedule. They're loaded with a good mix of old and young talent and should find themselves in the race for a home playoff game right out of the gate.
Tibet Psychonauts
Season 14: 11-5, 5th place
OVerview: Tibet was better that their overall record last season, but drew a bad schedule (inter-conference game with Tet) and had an unfortunate stumble late against Bali. The Psychonauts were able to rebound with a first-round 28-23 upset over Shadow Lake and a respectable showing against Saigon in the second round of the playoffs. Tibet's strengths last season lay in their high-powered offense and a very solid defense that repeatedly came up big in big games.
Outlook: Put the Psychonauts right on par with Shadow Lake and Palembang when you're trying to evaluate the team just on paper, but Tibet is deep and strong all over the place. Decline could be a factor for a team full of Level 70 dots, but if they can front-load the schedule with their biggest games early, they could be right at the top of the division heading down the stretch.
--- LOOKING FOR REDEMPTION ---
Portland Dirty Penguins
Season 14: 8-8 SEA Pro, 7th place
OVerview: It was an uncharacteristic rough year for the Penguins, who started off the year with a bad draw in LSP, a surprise loss to the Hustlers and then another one to the Smurfs. Even when the Penguins finally seemed to get things rolling, including a 19-16 shocker over Saigon, the wheels came off at for four straight losses and near-elimination from the playoffs.
Outlook: The future looks bright for Portland, which has managed to make a subtle transition to a younger group of dots while remaining competitive. Will that future be Season 15? It's possible since the roster is also loaded with premium veteran dots, but a lot depends on how the new guys do. If Portland has to struggle to pick up wins over the rookie teams, a playoff spot will be near-impossible to attain. If Portland can coast past the rookies, it should be able to match up well with the top-tier of returning teams.
Blue Renegade Wino Smurfs of Funkalicious Overly Long Team Names
Season 14: 7-9 SEA Pro, 9th place
OVerview: The Smurfs looked like a lock for the playoffs with three games to go, but consecutive losses to Sin City, the Jam and Thai to end the year barred the Funkalicious Ones from the second season. But the under-leveled Blue team looked solid throughout the season, picking up big wins over teams like Portland and Bacolod to distance themselves from the rest of the pack.
Outlook: We were told when they got here that this team was probably a Season 15 team, and the numbers might back that up. There are still some key positions to be filled here, and the team's prospects will be heavily weighted by the quality of dots that make up those final slots.
Bacolod Skullcrushers
Season 14: 6-10 SEA Pro, 11th place
OVerview: Why is a league like SEA Pro so tough? Because of teams like Bacolod -- tough teams that might not finish at the top of the division every year, but they will give you a run for your money if you make the mistake of overlooking them. They're a solid team with solid ownership and a good group of cats building dots there. These are the "bad" teams in SEA Pro, they're not cupcakes -- unless cupcakes can bite your hand when you go to pick them up. Last year, they only lost to the Smurfs by 3, the Penguins by 9, Bali by 10, and Sin City by 12. If a couple of those games break their way instead, they're a playoff team.
Outlook: Last year, Bacolod was a little under-leveled. This year, they don't have that problem. They are instead loaded with guys just hitting the prime of their careers, and with some good game-planning, this could be a surprise team this season. Seriously, never overlook these guys. If they can beat you with lesser dots, what will they do with this roster?
Cambodia Mountain Men
Season 14: 5-11 SEA Pro, 12th place
OVerview: The Mountain Men handled transition poorly last season, as a large number of top players retired and the Farm team wasn't ready yet to supply the big club, and the team tumbled to its first losing season since Season 4. There was some light at the end of the tunnel last year, as the defense started to come together late and Cambodia ran off four wins to finish the season.
Outlook: Cambodia is very under-leveled and very young, stocked with talent that might be a season away from starting to pop, but this is another team that it doesn't pay to overlook. They'll sneak up on you.
Hong Kong Hustlers
Season 14: 4-12 SEA Pro, 14th place
OVerview: Hong Kong is a longtime SEA franchise, one that appears and disappears, but always seems to be lurking there somewhere. Their biggest win of the season came against Portland in Week 2 and then it all pretty much went downhill from there.
Outlook: The Hustlers still have 13 open roster spots as of the time of this posting, so it's hard to judge what we can expect from them this season. The dots they have are pretty good ones. The GMs they have aren't too bad when they're game-planning instead of trying to run the forums. Which Hustlers will we see this season? Flip a coin.
--- OLD FACES RETURN ---
Cambodia Assassins
Season 14: 14-2, SEA AAA-2 Conference Champion
Overview: Despite obviously being the second-best team named Cambodia in SEA Pro's Naga conference, the Assassins stitched together back-to-back shockers in the playoffs to reach the championship game and earn their spot back in the Pros. Cambodia went 14-2 in the regular season, and then avenged both losses by stomping both teams in the second and third round.
Outlook: These fellas look like they loaded up a bit to come back to the Pros. They're young at QB, but the running game looks very solid -- which was a staple of the Assassins offenses I remember from the past. The defense is simply loaded and should be fun to watch -- when you're not playing them. If this machine can run like I think it can, the Assassins might find themselves battling for one of the top spots early.
--- FRESH MEAT ---
Semarang Red Dwarfs
Season 14: 16-0, SEA AAA-1 League Champion
OVerview: The Red Dwarfs come to SEA with an incredible 60-game winning streak that includes back-to-back titles in AA and AAA. Their only close games last season came at the hands of Hell's Reaper's and the Victoria Teabaggers, both of which are making the jump this season as well. Most impressive? The Dwarfs won the championship game over the 15-1 New York Empire by 95 points.
Outlook: The Dwarf dots aren't as little as their name would imply -- at an average level of 71 (and an effective level of 74) these guys look to be loaded and ready to make a serious splash in the Pros, much like the Whores did last season. Age and decline might become an issue later in the season, but for now they look to be the best of the newcomers.
Alabama Tidesports Crimson Tide
Season 14: 15-1, SEA AAA-2 Conference Runner-up
OVerview: If you're saying to yourself, "Hey, I didn't know Alabama was in SE Asia," you must be forgetting the swathe of the DMZ between North and South Vietnam where the U.S. troops who were heavily addicted to heroin and Vietnamese prostitutes decided to stay and build an Asian version of the "Heart of Dixie." The Crimson Tide were solid all season long in AAA, but got manhandled in the Naga championship game by the Cambodia Assassins.
Outlook: Alabama was still scrambling late in the preseason to fill roster holes, which is something that's tough to do at this level. Unless you have some premium dots lined up and guaranteed, the lack of depth is going to kill you. I'll reserve the right to analyze this team until after I see the finished product.
Golden Hill Bones
Season 14: 15-1, SEA AAA-2, Second Place
OVerview: Golden Hill is probably surprised to be in SEA Pro after falling in the second round to the Assassins, despite its stellar regular season -- in which its only loss came early in the year to Alabama. No, not the rock group Alabama -- those guys can't play dotball worth a shit. No, the Bones lost to the Crimson Tide early in the season and then pretty much rolled the rest of the way until Cambodia slapped them around in a 48-20 second-round loss.
Outlook: The Bones are simply a mess right now, with 24 open roster slots and major depth problems at linebacker, wide receiver and in the secondary. They don't even have a kicker right now. Will they be able to pull it together in time to start the season? All signs are pointing to doubtful right now.
Victoria Teabaggers
Season 14: 13-3 SEA AAA-1, Conference runner-up
OVerview: Their team note says they've been taking it "off the chin" since Season 6, which seems to imply that they might be spending more time as teabagees than teabaggers. (Also, shouldn't that be "on the chin"? Taking it "off" the chin seems like the opposite of teabagging.) Regardless of what they do in their spare time, Victoria showed they were no slouches last season in AAA-1, finishing in third place behind Semarang and very nearly upsetting the Red Dwarfs in conference title game. The Dwarfs, however, kept their winning streak alive with 10 points in the final 3 minutes.
Outlook: The Teabaggers' roster looks like they're ready for the season to start right now. They're a little under-leveled for SEA Pro, but a brief glance over their history and a look at their GM roster implies they know how to play big in big games. Don't be suprised if these guys stick around a while and become one of the elites.
Phuket Vandals
Season 14: 13-3 SEA AAA-2, Fourth Place, Naga
OVerview: Also known as "The Tribe From The North", the Vandals were solid in SEA AAA-2 last season, suffering close losses to Cambodia and Alabama in the regular season, and then taking the Crimson Tide to the limit in their second round playoff game. Also, I know it was just lolAAA stats, but they had a DT who forced 112 fumbles last season. Is it the reincarnation of Need Ur Luv? Probably not, but you might want to game plan for that guy.
Outlook: They're in better shape right now than the Bones, but barely. They have 20 open roster slots, and look to be in desperate need at linebacker and in the secondary. The clock is ticking, and the season is looming.
--- THE CELLAR ---
Mekong Delta Force
Season 14: 4-12, 13th place
Outlook: A long-time SEA force has pretty much called it quits, at least with this class. They might drop back down and rebuild, which is what they said they were going to do. Which begs the question: Why are they still here?
Saigon Whores
Season 14: 15-1 SEA Pro, Conference runners-up
Overview: Well, if you don't know what these guys did last season, you'd better start taking notes. They ran through the conference, falling only to PDP (although they later claimed that was deliberate), and marched through the playoffs looking virtually unstoppable despite being loaded with Season 6 builds. Did they tank to NBA Jam to give this team another year to mature before hitting the World League? It's possible, and it wouldn't be a bad strategy -- not with the dots these guys have.
Outlook: After some minor roster tweaks and a pretty uneventful offseason, the Whores are looking right on target to march through the conference again and take a dip in the World League pool for Season 16. By far the favorite to win Naga, they also all chose archetypes that maxed out Swagger and caused a penalty to the little-known Humility SA: they're predicting at least 11 wins by 100 or more points. It sounds crazy, but let's be realistic -- the chances that anyone can stop them from moving on to World League next season are pretty slim.
--- CONTENDERS ---
Palembang Drunken Monks
Season 14: 13-3 SEA Pro, Third Place
OVerview: The Monks looked good all season except for big stumbles against the Jam and Saigon. But then again, those two teams killed everyone. The Monks advanced to the second round of the playoffs before falling to the eventual league champion. Palembang used a balanced offensive attack and relied heavily on one of the top defenses in SEA Pro.
Outlook: Palembang looked ready to go right from the start of the preseason, gearing up for what will be a tough battle to wrench the anticipated league title away from Saigon. And it's not going to be easy, but this is a storied SEA franchise which has never missed the playoffs since its inception in Season 3. If anyone can give the Whores a run, it's Palembang. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone can give them a run.
Shadow Lake Snakeheads
Season 14: 12-4 SEA Pro, Fourth Place
OVerview: The rookies took the league by surprise last season, and their accomplishments remained a bit overshadowed by the successes of Saigon and the Jam. But these Snakeheads racked up 12 wins before falling in the first round of the playoffs. The Snakeheads had an especially dominant defense whose season included holding the Whores to just 34 points.
Outlook: On paper, these guys look every bit as good as the Monks or Psychonauts, meaning they could once again surprise the league if they get a favorable schedule. They're loaded with a good mix of old and young talent and should find themselves in the race for a home playoff game right out of the gate.
Tibet Psychonauts
Season 14: 11-5, 5th place
OVerview: Tibet was better that their overall record last season, but drew a bad schedule (inter-conference game with Tet) and had an unfortunate stumble late against Bali. The Psychonauts were able to rebound with a first-round 28-23 upset over Shadow Lake and a respectable showing against Saigon in the second round of the playoffs. Tibet's strengths last season lay in their high-powered offense and a very solid defense that repeatedly came up big in big games.
Outlook: Put the Psychonauts right on par with Shadow Lake and Palembang when you're trying to evaluate the team just on paper, but Tibet is deep and strong all over the place. Decline could be a factor for a team full of Level 70 dots, but if they can front-load the schedule with their biggest games early, they could be right at the top of the division heading down the stretch.
--- LOOKING FOR REDEMPTION ---
Portland Dirty Penguins
Season 14: 8-8 SEA Pro, 7th place
OVerview: It was an uncharacteristic rough year for the Penguins, who started off the year with a bad draw in LSP, a surprise loss to the Hustlers and then another one to the Smurfs. Even when the Penguins finally seemed to get things rolling, including a 19-16 shocker over Saigon, the wheels came off at for four straight losses and near-elimination from the playoffs.
Outlook: The future looks bright for Portland, which has managed to make a subtle transition to a younger group of dots while remaining competitive. Will that future be Season 15? It's possible since the roster is also loaded with premium veteran dots, but a lot depends on how the new guys do. If Portland has to struggle to pick up wins over the rookie teams, a playoff spot will be near-impossible to attain. If Portland can coast past the rookies, it should be able to match up well with the top-tier of returning teams.
Blue Renegade Wino Smurfs of Funkalicious Overly Long Team Names
Season 14: 7-9 SEA Pro, 9th place
OVerview: The Smurfs looked like a lock for the playoffs with three games to go, but consecutive losses to Sin City, the Jam and Thai to end the year barred the Funkalicious Ones from the second season. But the under-leveled Blue team looked solid throughout the season, picking up big wins over teams like Portland and Bacolod to distance themselves from the rest of the pack.
Outlook: We were told when they got here that this team was probably a Season 15 team, and the numbers might back that up. There are still some key positions to be filled here, and the team's prospects will be heavily weighted by the quality of dots that make up those final slots.
Bacolod Skullcrushers
Season 14: 6-10 SEA Pro, 11th place
OVerview: Why is a league like SEA Pro so tough? Because of teams like Bacolod -- tough teams that might not finish at the top of the division every year, but they will give you a run for your money if you make the mistake of overlooking them. They're a solid team with solid ownership and a good group of cats building dots there. These are the "bad" teams in SEA Pro, they're not cupcakes -- unless cupcakes can bite your hand when you go to pick them up. Last year, they only lost to the Smurfs by 3, the Penguins by 9, Bali by 10, and Sin City by 12. If a couple of those games break their way instead, they're a playoff team.
Outlook: Last year, Bacolod was a little under-leveled. This year, they don't have that problem. They are instead loaded with guys just hitting the prime of their careers, and with some good game-planning, this could be a surprise team this season. Seriously, never overlook these guys. If they can beat you with lesser dots, what will they do with this roster?
Cambodia Mountain Men
Season 14: 5-11 SEA Pro, 12th place
OVerview: The Mountain Men handled transition poorly last season, as a large number of top players retired and the Farm team wasn't ready yet to supply the big club, and the team tumbled to its first losing season since Season 4. There was some light at the end of the tunnel last year, as the defense started to come together late and Cambodia ran off four wins to finish the season.
Outlook: Cambodia is very under-leveled and very young, stocked with talent that might be a season away from starting to pop, but this is another team that it doesn't pay to overlook. They'll sneak up on you.
Hong Kong Hustlers
Season 14: 4-12 SEA Pro, 14th place
OVerview: Hong Kong is a longtime SEA franchise, one that appears and disappears, but always seems to be lurking there somewhere. Their biggest win of the season came against Portland in Week 2 and then it all pretty much went downhill from there.
Outlook: The Hustlers still have 13 open roster spots as of the time of this posting, so it's hard to judge what we can expect from them this season. The dots they have are pretty good ones. The GMs they have aren't too bad when they're game-planning instead of trying to run the forums. Which Hustlers will we see this season? Flip a coin.
--- OLD FACES RETURN ---
Cambodia Assassins
Season 14: 14-2, SEA AAA-2 Conference Champion
Overview: Despite obviously being the second-best team named Cambodia in SEA Pro's Naga conference, the Assassins stitched together back-to-back shockers in the playoffs to reach the championship game and earn their spot back in the Pros. Cambodia went 14-2 in the regular season, and then avenged both losses by stomping both teams in the second and third round.
Outlook: These fellas look like they loaded up a bit to come back to the Pros. They're young at QB, but the running game looks very solid -- which was a staple of the Assassins offenses I remember from the past. The defense is simply loaded and should be fun to watch -- when you're not playing them. If this machine can run like I think it can, the Assassins might find themselves battling for one of the top spots early.
--- FRESH MEAT ---
Semarang Red Dwarfs
Season 14: 16-0, SEA AAA-1 League Champion
OVerview: The Red Dwarfs come to SEA with an incredible 60-game winning streak that includes back-to-back titles in AA and AAA. Their only close games last season came at the hands of Hell's Reaper's and the Victoria Teabaggers, both of which are making the jump this season as well. Most impressive? The Dwarfs won the championship game over the 15-1 New York Empire by 95 points.
Outlook: The Dwarf dots aren't as little as their name would imply -- at an average level of 71 (and an effective level of 74) these guys look to be loaded and ready to make a serious splash in the Pros, much like the Whores did last season. Age and decline might become an issue later in the season, but for now they look to be the best of the newcomers.
Alabama Tidesports Crimson Tide
Season 14: 15-1, SEA AAA-2 Conference Runner-up
OVerview: If you're saying to yourself, "Hey, I didn't know Alabama was in SE Asia," you must be forgetting the swathe of the DMZ between North and South Vietnam where the U.S. troops who were heavily addicted to heroin and Vietnamese prostitutes decided to stay and build an Asian version of the "Heart of Dixie." The Crimson Tide were solid all season long in AAA, but got manhandled in the Naga championship game by the Cambodia Assassins.
Outlook: Alabama was still scrambling late in the preseason to fill roster holes, which is something that's tough to do at this level. Unless you have some premium dots lined up and guaranteed, the lack of depth is going to kill you. I'll reserve the right to analyze this team until after I see the finished product.
Golden Hill Bones
Season 14: 15-1, SEA AAA-2, Second Place
OVerview: Golden Hill is probably surprised to be in SEA Pro after falling in the second round to the Assassins, despite its stellar regular season -- in which its only loss came early in the year to Alabama. No, not the rock group Alabama -- those guys can't play dotball worth a shit. No, the Bones lost to the Crimson Tide early in the season and then pretty much rolled the rest of the way until Cambodia slapped them around in a 48-20 second-round loss.
Outlook: The Bones are simply a mess right now, with 24 open roster slots and major depth problems at linebacker, wide receiver and in the secondary. They don't even have a kicker right now. Will they be able to pull it together in time to start the season? All signs are pointing to doubtful right now.
Victoria Teabaggers
Season 14: 13-3 SEA AAA-1, Conference runner-up
OVerview: Their team note says they've been taking it "off the chin" since Season 6, which seems to imply that they might be spending more time as teabagees than teabaggers. (Also, shouldn't that be "on the chin"? Taking it "off" the chin seems like the opposite of teabagging.) Regardless of what they do in their spare time, Victoria showed they were no slouches last season in AAA-1, finishing in third place behind Semarang and very nearly upsetting the Red Dwarfs in conference title game. The Dwarfs, however, kept their winning streak alive with 10 points in the final 3 minutes.
Outlook: The Teabaggers' roster looks like they're ready for the season to start right now. They're a little under-leveled for SEA Pro, but a brief glance over their history and a look at their GM roster implies they know how to play big in big games. Don't be suprised if these guys stick around a while and become one of the elites.
Phuket Vandals
Season 14: 13-3 SEA AAA-2, Fourth Place, Naga
OVerview: Also known as "The Tribe From The North", the Vandals were solid in SEA AAA-2 last season, suffering close losses to Cambodia and Alabama in the regular season, and then taking the Crimson Tide to the limit in their second round playoff game. Also, I know it was just lolAAA stats, but they had a DT who forced 112 fumbles last season. Is it the reincarnation of Need Ur Luv? Probably not, but you might want to game plan for that guy.
Outlook: They're in better shape right now than the Bones, but barely. They have 20 open roster slots, and look to be in desperate need at linebacker and in the secondary. The clock is ticking, and the season is looming.
--- THE CELLAR ---
Mekong Delta Force
Season 14: 4-12, 13th place
Outlook: A long-time SEA force has pretty much called it quits, at least with this class. They might drop back down and rebuild, which is what they said they were going to do. Which begs the question: Why are they still here?
Edited by haole on Mar 23, 2010 08:49:31
