Finally Round 3 is here!
It’s the conference championship games of season 14!
Baba O’Riley would be proud…………….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2KRpRMSu4g
We are about to witness one of the greatest spectacles that mother nature can provide, the crowning of two new conference champions in season 14!
The Championship Match Ups
This is it!
Round 3 are the Conference Championship games!
The two best teams from each conference go to Thunder Dome to knock the snot out of each other for the right to be crowned a conference champion!
So let's check the contenders out with a preview of each team.
* The EE Pro Alpha and Zeta Championship games are sponsored by GLB-Harmony, the first and only official GLB dating service.
GLB-Harmony, trying our best to get nerds that play an online Beta MMO American Football game simulated by colored dots laid one failed attempt after another, but we still keep trying dammit. *
Alpha Championship Preview
#1 Short Bus Allstars (18-0)
Pass Rank: 3
Rush Rank: 2
Team Colors: Blue and yellow
Finishing Move: The Drooling Open Mouthed Stare
"In High School I was voted most likely to……." ……..still be trying to graduate high school at the age of 37.
Turn Ons: Small shiny objects, hand held puppets and taco night at the assisted living complex we live in.
Turn Offs: Bad people, the color mauve (it scares us), forgetting my pudding cup for lunch at GW Bush High School.
About Me: 2nd in Alpha in rushing yards and TD’s.
Can use over 5 three letter words to form a complete sentence.
Once went 5 minutes without drooling on themselves.
Keys to Win: I think it is pretty obvious……………RUN!
With over 5500 rushing yards and over 7 yards a carry, just keep doing what you been doing. Eat up clock with the run game and keep their offense on the bench.
Shut down the Sofia run game, which is averaging over 8 yards a carry, and force the pass where you have a great secondary.
Must get pressure on an o-line that gave up only 23 sacks.
#2 Sofia Spiders (16-2)
Pass Rank: 10
Rush Rank: 3
Team Colors: Blue and black
Finishing Move: Figure 8 leg lock
"In High School I was voted most likely to……." …..be the first to find a nice arachnid to settle down with in a nice web with a sac of spider eggs and not get torn to shreds by the female spider after sex.
Turn Ons: When juicy bugs get stuck in our webs, the Spider Man movies, hot 8-legged whores.
Turn Offs: Raid, very big shoes to stomp us with, Black Widows after sex (they keep killing us).
About Me: 3rd in Alpha in rushing and second in Alpha in yards per carry, also second in Alpha in sacks.
Came in 1st place at the company picnic in the 8-legged sack race.
Enjoys writing words and messages in our webs to help save a pig.
Keys to Win: Must find a way to stop the Short Bus offense which averaged 7.8 yards a carry and 9.9 yards per completion.
Their line gave up 43 sacks, so get them into a passing situation where you have two top pass rushers.
You must play your strength which is the run game, but must convert any 3rd downs that come your way. Keep your drives alive.
Way back in week 6 the Allstars cruised to a 32-14 win over the Spiders.
But that was a looooonnnggg time ago.
Short Bus is hard to stop, but if the Spiders can run effectively they may have a chance.
So I’m going to predict…………..
Short Bus Allstars – 34
Sofia Spiders - 24
Zeta Championship Preview
C-Town Hoodlums (17-1)
Pass Rank: 2
Rush Rank: 8
Team Colors: Red and gold
Finishing Move: The Hoodlum Iron Thumb (you never know where they will stick it)
"In High School I was voted most likely to……."........to join the Peace Corps or Greenpeace.
Turn Ons: mugging elderly people on Saturday mornings as they fast walk in the mall, dark alleys, the movie Bad Santa, rooting for the bad guy in any movie or TV show.
Turn Offs: Cops, the death penalty, home alarm systems.
About Me: 2nd in Zeta in rushing yards, rush yards per game and 3rd in rush yards per carry.
Started a “Little House on the Prairie” fan club.
During every mugging of an elderly person, they always say please and thank you.
Keys to Win: Very well balanced offense , so keep’em guessing.
The longer your offense is on the field the better.
Put the brakes on their diverse ground game.
You don’t have great pass rush stats, but you will have to find a way to pressure an o-line that gave up only 16 sacks this season, especially on 3rd down conversions.
#2 Stewart Ballers (17-1)
Pass Rank: 3
Rush Rank: 5
Team Colors: Black and white
Finishing Move: The Ball Buster
"In High School I was voted most likely to……."..........be hooked on internet porn and suffer from chronic masturbation..............Wow! So was I!! Although I wouldn't say I was actually "suffering" from it.
Turn Ons: Balls……….and that’s about it.
Turn Offs: Helping the elderly across the street, de-caf coffee, people who use the word “exuberant” more than they should.
About Me: O-line gave up only 16 sacks. Defense was #1 in INT’s in Zeta.
Once held a Women’s Rights conference for some stupid bitches.
Gets overly excited over bad presents at Christmas.
Keys to Win: They have a very well balanced offense, so be prepared for anything.
You guys have a diverse back field with two 1000 yard rushers, a 900 yard rusher and a 700 yard rusher. So keep them guessing.
Use your very effective passing game to convert 3rd downs and keep your drives sustained. Don’t let their offense on the field.
Put pressure on the QB so your secondary can get INT’s, where they were #1 in Zeta. Their O-line gave up 28 sacks, so it can be done.
In the regular season match up, C-Town shut down the Stewart offense in the second half and walked away with the win.
Playoff games are always crazy and I think there will be a lot more scoring on this one.
It should come down to the wire in this mega-match up, so I am going to say……
Stewart Ballers – 34
C-Town Hoodlums - 31
Good luck to all 4 teams that made it to this point.
It’s not an easy thing to do, unlike my ex………………..that slut.
This is it!
We are down to four teams! Only these four remain to battle it out for the EE Pro championship!
The first pitch has been thrown, the coin flipped, the torch has been lit,
So “Play ball!”, “Let the games begin!” and…………….
.........………LET’S DO THIS SHIT!!!
****ALPHA CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS****
*#1 Short Bus Allstars (18-0) LW1 – You guys have made mince meat of every team thus far, so don’t get fancy just go win and let’s move on.
It’s like my great, great, great, great grand pappy SA used to say “If you’re on a date and the roofies start to wear off, pull your tongue out of her ass and run like hell”.
Next Opponent: #2 Sofia Spiders (16-2)
*#2 Sofia Spiders (16-2) LW2 – One step away from the League championship.
But you have to get past the Short Bus first, so go all out in this one.
It’s like my great, great, great, great grand pappy SA used to say, “If you are lucky enough to find a woman to have sex with, then make sure you do it right………without permission and unprotected”.
Too bad great, great, great, great grand pappy SA ended up in prison on a trumped up sex assault charge and died from syphilis, he was so wise.
Next Opponent: at #1 Short Bus Allstars (18-0)
The Rest of Alpha
#3 Arkadak Arsenal (13-5) LW3 – That’s all she wrote for the Arsenal. There is only one gun you will need in the Hot Chick Lounge, just better hope it doesn’t shoot blanks.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2007/10Janis/Janis-07.jpg
#4 Minsk Ninjas (13-5) LW4 – Ok Ninjas, you were sneaky, stealthy and deadly all season long, all except last game. So save all your Ninja techniques for next season, because the girls in the Hot Chick Lounge re ready to show off their skills.
Like BJ skills and Reverse Cow Girl skills and swallowing skills and hand job skills, their technique is flawless.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2007/11Lauren/Lauren-01.jpg
#5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (12-5)
#6 Old School (11-6)
#7 Buda Pests (11-6)
#8 Sarajevo Black Hand (9-8)
#9 Ares Assassins (7-9) LW9
#10 Stirling Four Horsemen (6-10) LW10
#11 Ukraine Freight Train (6-10) LW11
#12 Munich ManiAx (5-11) LW12
#13 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (4-12) LW13
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (3-13) LW14
#15 Hollywood TimberWolves (1-15) LW15
#16 Saratov Catrades (0-16) LW16
*****ROUND 3 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my Alpha prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 5-3 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 5-3 Week 5: 5-3 Week 6: 7-1 Week 7: 7-1 Week 8: 6-2 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 8-0 Week 14: 7-1 Week 15: 8-0 Week 16: 8-0
Overall: 90-22
SA’s GOW: 9-5
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 5-9
SA Playoffs: 6-0
8-ball Playoffs: 1-5
#2 Sofia Spiders (16-2) at #1 Short Bus Allstars (18-0) =
SA’s Pick: Short Bus Allstars
8-ball’s Pick: Sofia Spiders
Good luck to all the Alpha teams in Round 3!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS****
*#1 C-Town Hoodlums (17-1) LW1 – This here could be the toughest game of the season for you Hoodlums. The first meeting with Stewart was tough, so expect nothing less.
It’s like my great, great, great, great grand pappy SA used to say “When the going gets tough, the tough should hit the woman over the head with a billy club, that way she’ll never know what happened while she was knocked out”.
Next Opponent: #2 Stewart Ballers (17-1)
*#2 Stewart Ballers (17-1) LW3 – Well Ballers, it all comes down to this one game.
C-Town was the only team to beat you guys and they stand in your way of an EE Pro crown.
It’s like my great, great, great, great grand pappy SA used to say “If you ever have an affair with a married woman, make sure they live in a one story house. That way when the husband unexpectedly comes home, the jump won’t be that high”.
Hope that helps.
Next Opponent: at #1 C-Town Hoodlums (17-1)
The Rest of Zeta
#3 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (16-2) LW2 – Great season you Blitzing Balls had. But wait, keep those balls out because you are headed to the Hot Chick Lounge for the remainder of the season and the chicks just love a pair of blitzing balls.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2010/02Ericka%5FCruz/Ericka-Cruz-01.jpg
#4 Vilnius Velociraptors (12-6) LW4 – Well it’s time to go away for another ice age and come back next season. I do have an opening fr an attraction at the Hot Chick Lounge. I was thinking of a dinosaur show, like a donkey show but with dinosaurs. Those girls at the Lounge are into some sick shit.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2010/01Cristy%5FMendivil/Cristy-Mendivil-12.jpg
#5 Chernobyl Aftermath (10-7)
#6 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (10-7)
#7 Buffalo WarZone (9-8)
#8 Portland Niners (9-8)
#9 Rome Raiders (8-8)
#11 Jefferson City Bucks (7-9)
#12 Russian Revolution (3-13)
#13 Hellas Hoplites (3-13)
#14 Odessa Mojo (2-13)
#15 Bucharest Warriors (2-13)
#16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-16)
*****ROUND 3 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here’s my Zeta prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 7-1 Week 3: 7-1 Week 4: 6-2 Week 5: 7-1 Week 6: 6-2 Week 7: 7-1 week 8: 6-2 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 5-3 Week 14: 7-1 Week 15: 7-1 Week 16: 6-2
Overall: 89-23
SA’s GOW: 10-4
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 6-8
SA Playoffs: 6-0
8-ball Playoffs: 2-4
#2 Stewart Ballers (17-1) at #1 C-Town Hoodlums (17-1) =
SA’s Pick: Stewart Ballers
8-ball’s Pick: C-Town Hoodlums
Good luck to all the Zeta teams in Round 3!
It’s the conference championship games of season 14!
Baba O’Riley would be proud…………….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2KRpRMSu4g
We are about to witness one of the greatest spectacles that mother nature can provide, the crowning of two new conference champions in season 14!
The Championship Match Ups
This is it!
Round 3 are the Conference Championship games!
The two best teams from each conference go to Thunder Dome to knock the snot out of each other for the right to be crowned a conference champion!
So let's check the contenders out with a preview of each team.
* The EE Pro Alpha and Zeta Championship games are sponsored by GLB-Harmony, the first and only official GLB dating service.
GLB-Harmony, trying our best to get nerds that play an online Beta MMO American Football game simulated by colored dots laid one failed attempt after another, but we still keep trying dammit. *
Alpha Championship Preview
#1 Short Bus Allstars (18-0)
Pass Rank: 3
Rush Rank: 2
Team Colors: Blue and yellow
Finishing Move: The Drooling Open Mouthed Stare
"In High School I was voted most likely to……." ……..still be trying to graduate high school at the age of 37.
Turn Ons: Small shiny objects, hand held puppets and taco night at the assisted living complex we live in.
Turn Offs: Bad people, the color mauve (it scares us), forgetting my pudding cup for lunch at GW Bush High School.
About Me: 2nd in Alpha in rushing yards and TD’s.
Can use over 5 three letter words to form a complete sentence.
Once went 5 minutes without drooling on themselves.
Keys to Win: I think it is pretty obvious……………RUN!
With over 5500 rushing yards and over 7 yards a carry, just keep doing what you been doing. Eat up clock with the run game and keep their offense on the bench.
Shut down the Sofia run game, which is averaging over 8 yards a carry, and force the pass where you have a great secondary.
Must get pressure on an o-line that gave up only 23 sacks.
#2 Sofia Spiders (16-2)
Pass Rank: 10
Rush Rank: 3
Team Colors: Blue and black
Finishing Move: Figure 8 leg lock
"In High School I was voted most likely to……." …..be the first to find a nice arachnid to settle down with in a nice web with a sac of spider eggs and not get torn to shreds by the female spider after sex.
Turn Ons: When juicy bugs get stuck in our webs, the Spider Man movies, hot 8-legged whores.
Turn Offs: Raid, very big shoes to stomp us with, Black Widows after sex (they keep killing us).
About Me: 3rd in Alpha in rushing and second in Alpha in yards per carry, also second in Alpha in sacks.
Came in 1st place at the company picnic in the 8-legged sack race.
Enjoys writing words and messages in our webs to help save a pig.
Keys to Win: Must find a way to stop the Short Bus offense which averaged 7.8 yards a carry and 9.9 yards per completion.
Their line gave up 43 sacks, so get them into a passing situation where you have two top pass rushers.
You must play your strength which is the run game, but must convert any 3rd downs that come your way. Keep your drives alive.
Way back in week 6 the Allstars cruised to a 32-14 win over the Spiders.
But that was a looooonnnggg time ago.
Short Bus is hard to stop, but if the Spiders can run effectively they may have a chance.
So I’m going to predict…………..
Short Bus Allstars – 34
Sofia Spiders - 24
Zeta Championship Preview
C-Town Hoodlums (17-1)
Pass Rank: 2
Rush Rank: 8
Team Colors: Red and gold
Finishing Move: The Hoodlum Iron Thumb (you never know where they will stick it)
"In High School I was voted most likely to……."........to join the Peace Corps or Greenpeace.
Turn Ons: mugging elderly people on Saturday mornings as they fast walk in the mall, dark alleys, the movie Bad Santa, rooting for the bad guy in any movie or TV show.
Turn Offs: Cops, the death penalty, home alarm systems.
About Me: 2nd in Zeta in rushing yards, rush yards per game and 3rd in rush yards per carry.
Started a “Little House on the Prairie” fan club.
During every mugging of an elderly person, they always say please and thank you.
Keys to Win: Very well balanced offense , so keep’em guessing.
The longer your offense is on the field the better.
Put the brakes on their diverse ground game.
You don’t have great pass rush stats, but you will have to find a way to pressure an o-line that gave up only 16 sacks this season, especially on 3rd down conversions.
#2 Stewart Ballers (17-1)
Pass Rank: 3
Rush Rank: 5
Team Colors: Black and white
Finishing Move: The Ball Buster
"In High School I was voted most likely to……."..........be hooked on internet porn and suffer from chronic masturbation..............Wow! So was I!! Although I wouldn't say I was actually "suffering" from it.
Turn Ons: Balls……….and that’s about it.
Turn Offs: Helping the elderly across the street, de-caf coffee, people who use the word “exuberant” more than they should.
About Me: O-line gave up only 16 sacks. Defense was #1 in INT’s in Zeta.
Once held a Women’s Rights conference for some stupid bitches.
Gets overly excited over bad presents at Christmas.
Keys to Win: They have a very well balanced offense, so be prepared for anything.
You guys have a diverse back field with two 1000 yard rushers, a 900 yard rusher and a 700 yard rusher. So keep them guessing.
Use your very effective passing game to convert 3rd downs and keep your drives sustained. Don’t let their offense on the field.
Put pressure on the QB so your secondary can get INT’s, where they were #1 in Zeta. Their O-line gave up 28 sacks, so it can be done.
In the regular season match up, C-Town shut down the Stewart offense in the second half and walked away with the win.
Playoff games are always crazy and I think there will be a lot more scoring on this one.
It should come down to the wire in this mega-match up, so I am going to say……
Stewart Ballers – 34
C-Town Hoodlums - 31
Good luck to all 4 teams that made it to this point.
It’s not an easy thing to do, unlike my ex………………..that slut.
This is it!
We are down to four teams! Only these four remain to battle it out for the EE Pro championship!
The first pitch has been thrown, the coin flipped, the torch has been lit,
So “Play ball!”, “Let the games begin!” and…………….
.........………LET’S DO THIS SHIT!!!
****ALPHA CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS****
*#1 Short Bus Allstars (18-0) LW1 – You guys have made mince meat of every team thus far, so don’t get fancy just go win and let’s move on.
It’s like my great, great, great, great grand pappy SA used to say “If you’re on a date and the roofies start to wear off, pull your tongue out of her ass and run like hell”.
Next Opponent: #2 Sofia Spiders (16-2)
*#2 Sofia Spiders (16-2) LW2 – One step away from the League championship.
But you have to get past the Short Bus first, so go all out in this one.
It’s like my great, great, great, great grand pappy SA used to say, “If you are lucky enough to find a woman to have sex with, then make sure you do it right………without permission and unprotected”.
Too bad great, great, great, great grand pappy SA ended up in prison on a trumped up sex assault charge and died from syphilis, he was so wise.
Next Opponent: at #1 Short Bus Allstars (18-0)
The Rest of Alpha
#3 Arkadak Arsenal (13-5) LW3 – That’s all she wrote for the Arsenal. There is only one gun you will need in the Hot Chick Lounge, just better hope it doesn’t shoot blanks.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2007/10Janis/Janis-07.jpg
#4 Minsk Ninjas (13-5) LW4 – Ok Ninjas, you were sneaky, stealthy and deadly all season long, all except last game. So save all your Ninja techniques for next season, because the girls in the Hot Chick Lounge re ready to show off their skills.
Like BJ skills and Reverse Cow Girl skills and swallowing skills and hand job skills, their technique is flawless.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2007/11Lauren/Lauren-01.jpg
#5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (12-5)
#6 Old School (11-6)
#7 Buda Pests (11-6)
#8 Sarajevo Black Hand (9-8)
#9 Ares Assassins (7-9) LW9
#10 Stirling Four Horsemen (6-10) LW10
#11 Ukraine Freight Train (6-10) LW11
#12 Munich ManiAx (5-11) LW12
#13 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (4-12) LW13
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (3-13) LW14
#15 Hollywood TimberWolves (1-15) LW15
#16 Saratov Catrades (0-16) LW16
*****ROUND 3 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my Alpha prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 5-3 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 5-3 Week 5: 5-3 Week 6: 7-1 Week 7: 7-1 Week 8: 6-2 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 8-0 Week 14: 7-1 Week 15: 8-0 Week 16: 8-0
Overall: 90-22
SA’s GOW: 9-5
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 5-9
SA Playoffs: 6-0
8-ball Playoffs: 1-5
#2 Sofia Spiders (16-2) at #1 Short Bus Allstars (18-0) =
SA’s Pick: Short Bus Allstars
8-ball’s Pick: Sofia Spiders
Good luck to all the Alpha teams in Round 3!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS****
*#1 C-Town Hoodlums (17-1) LW1 – This here could be the toughest game of the season for you Hoodlums. The first meeting with Stewart was tough, so expect nothing less.
It’s like my great, great, great, great grand pappy SA used to say “When the going gets tough, the tough should hit the woman over the head with a billy club, that way she’ll never know what happened while she was knocked out”.
Next Opponent: #2 Stewart Ballers (17-1)
*#2 Stewart Ballers (17-1) LW3 – Well Ballers, it all comes down to this one game.
C-Town was the only team to beat you guys and they stand in your way of an EE Pro crown.
It’s like my great, great, great, great grand pappy SA used to say “If you ever have an affair with a married woman, make sure they live in a one story house. That way when the husband unexpectedly comes home, the jump won’t be that high”.
Hope that helps.
Next Opponent: at #1 C-Town Hoodlums (17-1)
The Rest of Zeta
#3 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (16-2) LW2 – Great season you Blitzing Balls had. But wait, keep those balls out because you are headed to the Hot Chick Lounge for the remainder of the season and the chicks just love a pair of blitzing balls.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2010/02Ericka%5FCruz/Ericka-Cruz-01.jpg
#4 Vilnius Velociraptors (12-6) LW4 – Well it’s time to go away for another ice age and come back next season. I do have an opening fr an attraction at the Hot Chick Lounge. I was thinking of a dinosaur show, like a donkey show but with dinosaurs. Those girls at the Lounge are into some sick shit.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2010/01Cristy%5FMendivil/Cristy-Mendivil-12.jpg
#5 Chernobyl Aftermath (10-7)
#6 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (10-7)
#7 Buffalo WarZone (9-8)
#8 Portland Niners (9-8)
#9 Rome Raiders (8-8)
#11 Jefferson City Bucks (7-9)
#12 Russian Revolution (3-13)
#13 Hellas Hoplites (3-13)
#14 Odessa Mojo (2-13)
#15 Bucharest Warriors (2-13)
#16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-16)
*****ROUND 3 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here’s my Zeta prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 7-1 Week 3: 7-1 Week 4: 6-2 Week 5: 7-1 Week 6: 6-2 Week 7: 7-1 week 8: 6-2 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 5-3 Week 14: 7-1 Week 15: 7-1 Week 16: 6-2
Overall: 89-23
SA’s GOW: 10-4
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 6-8
SA Playoffs: 6-0
8-ball Playoffs: 2-4
#2 Stewart Ballers (17-1) at #1 C-Town Hoodlums (17-1) =
SA’s Pick: Stewart Ballers
8-ball’s Pick: C-Town Hoodlums
Good luck to all the Zeta teams in Round 3!
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Mar 15, 2010 14:51:06
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Mar 15, 2010 14:49:50
jk
