Welcome to the Valentine’s Day edition of the Sport’s Page!
We’ll read this issue in the love shack…………….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leohcvmf8kM
And welcome to week 4!
Happy Valentine’s day!
So I gave everyone a Valentine today. Maybe some of you will take the advice to get lucky tonight…….with a GIRL!
Or just get lucky with yourself, as long as there’s rubbin’, there is lovin’.
So enjoy the special day with your wife, GF, mistress or life partner.
So let’s get to it!
SA’s Valentine’s Day Tips
Well if you are married or in a relationship, you know how much pressure there is on you to get this one day of the year right.
The sex you get on this night all depends on how well you pull this day off.
So I'm here to help you guys out with SA's fool proof tips to get that Val-Day nookie.
So here are some tips from SA for all you fellas' that just might save your life.
1) One of the most traditional things to do to show that special loved one thow much you care is to buy him/her some flowers. Make sure to buy her some flowers at one of the best shops you can find, I usually go here…….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/1910.jpg
2) Taking the loved one out to dinner is a very classy move if you want that Val-Day lovin’ tonight. Maybe take her to one of those fancy and romantic restaurants for dinner, like one of these………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/bar-b-q-funny.jpg
……….or this one…………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/all-you-can-eat.jpg
3) A movie is always a fun and very entertaining thing to do on Val-Day. Always check to make sure it is a movie your loved one is in to and you both can enjoy this special activity together.
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/b9.jpg
4) The best thing you can do to ensure that you get that Valentine’s day sex, is to ALWAYS pay attention to your loved one……
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/e1c3e87c60b1247ce4c43a195cbe803d.jpg
................I said pay attention to your loved one, so quit looking at those other girls boobies!!!
So if you follow these steps, I’m sure that by the end of the night, when that special time arrives, your loved one will be more than willing to try and do this…………..
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2765/4359376143_3083b84382_m.jpg
Good luck from SA.
***SA’s Player of the Week***
This week the POW goes to the Ares Assassins HB Silky Jackson!
He rushed for 65 yards on 9 carries and had 7 receptions for 113 yards and 2 TD’s to help the Assassins get past the Buda Pests, 31-27.
So here’s to you, Silky Jackson………………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/GuinnessBeer.jpg
SALUTE!!
Will you be my Valentine?
Or will you just take me out, wine me, dine me, sixty nine me, get dressed immediately afterwards then make yourself a bologna sandwich and take my change off the night stand on your way out and never call me again?
Not that I’ve ever done that, but it’s the best way to recover from beer goggles sometimes.
Just read the Sport’s Page while getting a Valentine’s Day hummer, chuckleheads!!
The very first Valentine’s Day card read:
“My sweetheart,
You are the air that I breathe,
You are the water I drink,
When we are together, my darling, all I can think is………….
………………….LET’S DO THIS SHIT!!!
You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.
****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Sofia Spiders (3-0) LW1 - The Sea Wasps are good enough to knock anyone down, so do what you’ve been doing best all season long……win.
Next opponent: at #8 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (2-1)
Valentine: I give to you guys the REAL meaning of Valentine’s Day
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/valentines-day-love-valentines-holi.jpg
#2 Short Bus Allstars (3-0) LW2 - Time to make a bus stop for the Ninjas, make them pay double the fare.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It75wQ0JypA
Next opponent: #9 Minsk Ninjas (2-1)
Valentine: Vince and the ShamWow, the gift that never stops giving………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/shamwow-shamwow-vice-love-his-nuts-.jpg
#3 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-0) LW5 - You are in the GOW, have fun!
Next opponent: #5 Old School (2-1)
Valentine: Only a one eyed love monster can fit in the Black Hand………….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/one-eye-love-monster-viagra-love-de.jpg
#4 Stirling Four Horsemen (3-0) LW6 - Just another day at the office, eh Horsemen?
Just keep winning to stay in the Top 4, because you guys have some rough waters ahead.
Next opponent: at #12 Arkadak Arsenal (1-2)
Valentine: I give you guys a very special valentine from me and I will actually reveal my true identity to you, just because I’m so caring……….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/valentines-day-valentine-s-day-mans.jpg
#5 Old School (2-1) LW3 - Go back to the GOW.
Next opponent: at #3 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-0)
Valentine: This Valentine’s Day, just take your wife, GF, mistress or partner to a romantic movie…………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/that-was-a-beautiful-lovely-movie-d.jpg
#6 Buda Pests (2-1) LW4 - Enjoy the win on Valentine’s Day.
Next opponent: at #15 Saratov Catrades (0-3)
Valentine: You can either consider this a pest or protects you from having pests………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/no-glove-no-love-demotivational-pos.jpg
#7 Ares Assassins (2-1) LW7 - *YYAAAAAAWWWNNN*
The TimberWolves?
Night, night………….Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……….
Next opponent: #16 Hollywood TimberWolves (0-3)
Valentine: Take this advice and apply it to the wife, GF or mistress tonight………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/tough-love-and-discipline-tough-lov.jpg
#8 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (2-1) LW8 - If you really want that title, you need to score a big win and teams don’t get any bigger than the Spiders.
Next opponent: #1 Sofia Spiders (3-0)
Valentine: Enjoy a three-way from SA…………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/torn-between-two-lovers-threesome-m.jpg
#9 Minsk Ninjas (2-1) LW11 - Two strong wins, can you keep it up against one of Alpha’s best?
Next opponent: at #2 Short Bus Allstars (3-0)
Valentine: One thing you should drink for every Ninja to grow up big and strong……
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/nopenone-nope-none-got-milk-need-lo.jpg
#10 Ukraine Freight Train (1-2) LW9 - Let’s get back on the winning tracks with the Voodoo. We need a win here to get back to .500 and stay in the race.
Next opponent: #14 Vladivostok Voodoo (0-3)
Valentine: I <3 Freight Train…………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/mixed-messages-shit-love-demotivati.jpg
#11 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (1-2) LW10 - The ManiAx are reeling, so it may be the most opportune time to get a W over them and you need a win badly.
Next opponent: at #13 Munich ManiAx (0-3)
Valentine: This Valentine’s Day I will tell you how your parents met……….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/transparency-airman-relationships-l.jpg
#12 Arkadak Arsenal (1-2) LW13 – You guys have done well against better teams, but you need to get over the hump somehow.
Maybe you can figure it our in the next game against the Horsemen up next.
Next opponent: #4 Stirling Four Horsemen (3-0)
Valentine: Oh, the things I won’t do for love, enjoy…………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/true-love-true-love-demotivational-.jpg
#13 Munich ManiAx (0-3) LW12 - I haven’t lost faith, but I’m starting to sober yup so start winning……..now!
Next opponent: #11 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (1-2)
Valentine: I give you guys the two greatest things that a man could ever love………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/the-two-favorite-things-of-man-ever.jpg
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (0-3) LW14 - You need to do that voodoo you do so well………..and fast!
Next opponent: at #10 Ukraine Freight Train (1-2)
Valentine: You guys get the Whammy, blondes and beer. If you get married, you know who to make best man………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/true-love-august-6-demotivational-p.jpg
#15 Saratov Catrades (0-3) LW15 - Just grab your valentine.
Next opponent: #6 Buda Pests (2-1)
Valentine: These guys need to go back to sucking on their mother’s teets………….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/mothers-day-life-time-woman-love-at.jpg
#16 Hollywood TimberWolves (0-3) LW16 - Just grab your valentine.
Next opponent: at #7 Ares Assassins (2-1)
Valentine: Maybe you guys should play a different game…………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/roundball-i-love-round-objects-demo.jpg
*****WEEK 4 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
So I’ll keep track of my predictions week by week just to see if I am any dam good. In the Game of the Week's (GOW) I'll go up against my old pal, the On Line Magic 8 Ball http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/
Yes, I really do consult an On Line Magic 8 Ball.
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 5-3 Week 3: 6-2
Overall: 16-8
SA’s GOW: 2-1
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 1-2
#5 Old School (2-1) at #3 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-0) = Sarajevo Black Hand
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#6 Buda Pests (2-1) at #15 Saratov Catrades (0-3) = Buda Pests
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#9 Minsk Ninjas (2-1) at #2 Short Bus Allstars (3-0) = Short Bus Allstars
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#4 Stirling Four Horsemen (3-0) at #12 Arkadak Arsenal (1-2) = Stirling Four Horsemen
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#11 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (1-2) at #13 Munich ManiAx (0-3) = Munich ManiAx
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (0-3) at #10 Ukraine Freight Train (1-2) = Ukraine Freight Train
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#1 Sofia Spiders (3-0) at #8 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (2-1) = Sofia Spiders
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#16 Hollywood TimberWolves (0-3) at #7 Ares Assassins (2-1) = Ares Assassins
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#5 Old School (2-1) at #3 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-0) -
Old School!
Black Hand!
Two great teams that know how to get down!
This time it will be in Thunder Dome for a Valentine’s Day Massacre!
A top 4 ranking is at stake and more!
This one is a winner takes your wife, GF, mistress or partner match!
I think that is pretty self explanatory.
Let’s sim this bitch!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Old School beat the Black Hand?
8 Ball's answer: It is definitely so.
SA's Pick: Sarajevo Black Hand
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Old School
26/48 beers! – Well there are three great match ups this week that should put you in the mood to do some Val-Day damage!
The Minsk Ninjas are on a roll and they take on the always strong Short Bus Allstars!
The Sofia Spiders will be defending their top[ ranking against a capable Sea Wasps team!
And the GOW has Old School getting down with the Black hand!
If these games don’t get the wife in the mood to lay you, try a roofie and let the good times roll.
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in the Alpha!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-0) LW1 - Time to defend that #1 rank against another top opponent in the GOW.
Next opponent: at #3 Stewart Ballers (3-0)
Valentine: Love comes in all shapes and sizes…….even fugly……….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-wedding-love-fat-demotivationa.jpg
#2 C-Town Hoodlums (3-0) LW2 - Impressive win over Buffalo last week. The games in the next 5 games could be a little easier, but if the balers beat Stryden, you could be the new #1 as long as you get this next win.
Next opponent: at #12 Bucharest Warriors (1-2)
Valentine: I wish I was that thin strip of cloth…………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-or-lust-demotivational-poster-.jpg
#3 Stewart Ballers (3-0) LW3 - Straight to the GOW.
Next opponent: #1 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-0)
Valentine: I’m giving you guys this device for Valentine’s day, so enjoy (it really does help)……..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/easy-rider-easy-rider-motorcycles-w.jpg
#4 Vilnius Velociraptors (3-0) LW5 - Enjoy the R&R after three straight wins. These Raptors are fo’ real!
Next opponent: at #15 Hellas Hoplites (0-3)
Valentine: I banged a chick with the same tattoo that I had picked up at a new widow’s support group. It’s a great place to pick up single women.
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-lesson-demotivational-poster-1.jpg
#5 Portland Niners (2-1) LW6 - The Raiders have yet to beat a top opponent, so that could bode well for the Niners and a win will keep you ahead of the rest of the rats clawing at your heels.
Next opponent: #8 Rome Raiders (1-2)
Valentine: Just follow Mr. Tyler’s advice………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-in-an-elevator-aerosmith-beaut.jpg
……..you know we have to hear it…………
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQ6zQxGJtSM
#6 Chernobyl Aftermath (2-1) LW8 - 255-0? I think that’s a good guess of the score on the next game.
Nuke’em JRoyal!!
Next opponent: at #16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-3)
Valentine: I cry every time I read this, it should be on a Hallmark card……….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/liquid-love-liquid-love-beer-demoti.jpg
#7 Buffalo WarZone (2-1) LW4 - The Pigs haven’t been doing well this season, so this game could get you ahead of the rest with a win.
Next opponent: #13 Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs (0-3)
Valentine: Sometimes Valentine’s Day means doing things you normally wouldn’t………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-demotivational-poster-12275600.jpg
#8 Rome Raiders (1-2) LW11 - I don’t know if you will get back to .500 this week, you’re better off waiting for the game after.
Next opponent: at #5 Portland Niners (2-1)
Valentine: Very good reminder……………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-is-grand-another-papa-bone-gem.jpg
#9 Belgrade Blaze (1-2) LW13 - FINALLY!! You guys get your 1st win of season 14! Yay!
Now all you need to do is keep it going. (Let’s see if you take this advice as well)
Next opponent: #10 Jefferson City Bucks (1-2)
Valentine: It’s a tough decision, nice car or ice cream…………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/hell-no-yes-i-love-the-car-more-dem.jpg
#10 Jefferson City Bucks (1-2) LW7 - Well I have never seen the Bucks go 1-2 before, but they aren’t out of it yet. You guys can still get a win over the blaze and keep pace with the rest of the pack.
Next opponent: at #9 Belgrade Blaze (1-2)
Valentine: Sometimes it is good to have a Valentine’s Day wingman……..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-is-in-the-air-demotivational-p.jpg
#11 Russian Revolution (1-2) LW9 - Welcome back to .500!
Next opponent: at #14 Odessa Mojo (0-3)
Valentine: One word of advice, if you are looking for the right words to say to your wife, GF or mistress, this isn’t it…………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-notes-the-glass-ceiling-at-nec.jpg
#12 Bucharest Warriors (1-2) LW10 - It says on their team profile page, “We are here to win! Bucharest Warriors is a real American football team in Romania!”
Who?
Next opponent: #2 C-Town Hoodlums (3-0)
Valentine: The Warriors could be revitalized if they get their swords swallowed tonight………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/i-love-sword-demotivational-poster-.jpg
#13 Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs (0-3) LW12 - The season is slipping away fast.
Next opponent: at #7 Buffalo WarZone (2-1)
Valentine: We all love pigs, because we all love bacon……………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/bacon-panties.jpg
#14 Odessa Mojo (0-3) LW14 - One step closer to the Hot Chick Lounge.
Next opponent: #11 Russian Revolution (1-2)
Valentine: Hot Chick Lounge grand opening just for you………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/grand-openings-life-time-women-men-.jpg
#15 Hellas Hoplites (0-3) LW15 - Your invitation to the Hot Chick Lounge is in the mail. So enjoy the time you have left.
Next opponent: #4 Vilnius Velociraptors (3-0)
Valentine: Two big reasons why we love you this Valentine’s Day……..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/could-you-be-loved-boobs-demotivati.jpg
#16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-3) LW16 - Just grab your valentine.
Next opponent: #6 Chernobyl Aftermath (2-1)
Valentine: When you are in a cubicle all day, it’s nice to have a loved one……..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/corporate-team-building-love-men-ki.jpg
*****WEEK 4 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 7-1 Week 3: 7-1
Overall: 19-5
SA’s GOW: 2-1
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 2-1
#1 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-0) at #3 Stewart Ballers (3-0) = Stewart Ballers
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#10 Jefferson City Bucks (1-2) at #9 Belgrade Blaze (1-2) = Belgrade Blaze
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#13 Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs (0-3) at #7 Buffalo WarZone (2-1) = Buffalo WarZone
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#8 Rome Raiders (1-2) at #5 Portland Niners (2-1) = Portland Niners
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#2 C-Town Hoodlums (3-0) at #12 Bucharest Warriors (1-2) = C-Town Hoodlums
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#11 Russian Revolution (1-2) at #14 Odessa Mojo (0-3) = Russian Revolution
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#4 Vilnius Velociraptors (3-0) at #15 Hellas Hoplites (0-3) = Vilnius Velociraptors
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#6 Chernobyl Aftermath (2-1) at #16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-3) = Chernobyl Aftermath
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#1 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-0) at #3 Stewart Ballers (3-0) -
It’s the Battle of the Balls!
One team blitzes them and the other team is a bunch of them!
Hide your women and children!
This one could destroy several surrounding city blocks!
We’ve thrown them inside Thunder Dome, locked the doors and threw away the key!
Whichever team is still alive in the morning, shall be declared winner!
So let’s go to Arby’s and wait this one out.
Yo Bort, let’s get this sim started!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Blitzkrieg Balls beat the Ballers?
8 Ball's answer: You may rely on it.
SA's Pick: Stewart Ballers
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
21/48 beers! – Only one beer worthy match up in all of Zeta and it is worth all 21 of those beers!
It’s this week’s GOW and it features two of the best teams to ever play a browser based Beta MMO of American style football simulated by colored dots!
So get the flowers and candy out of the way, put aside the cards and I love you’s, hurry up and hand out the gift you gave your wife and the even more expensive gifts you gave the woman you are cheating on her with, because this game is good enough to replace sex!
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!
We’ll read this issue in the love shack…………….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leohcvmf8kM
And welcome to week 4!
Happy Valentine’s day!
So I gave everyone a Valentine today. Maybe some of you will take the advice to get lucky tonight…….with a GIRL!
Or just get lucky with yourself, as long as there’s rubbin’, there is lovin’.
So enjoy the special day with your wife, GF, mistress or life partner.
So let’s get to it!
SA’s Valentine’s Day Tips
Well if you are married or in a relationship, you know how much pressure there is on you to get this one day of the year right.
The sex you get on this night all depends on how well you pull this day off.
So I'm here to help you guys out with SA's fool proof tips to get that Val-Day nookie.
So here are some tips from SA for all you fellas' that just might save your life.
1) One of the most traditional things to do to show that special loved one thow much you care is to buy him/her some flowers. Make sure to buy her some flowers at one of the best shops you can find, I usually go here…….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/1910.jpg
2) Taking the loved one out to dinner is a very classy move if you want that Val-Day lovin’ tonight. Maybe take her to one of those fancy and romantic restaurants for dinner, like one of these………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/bar-b-q-funny.jpg
……….or this one…………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/all-you-can-eat.jpg
3) A movie is always a fun and very entertaining thing to do on Val-Day. Always check to make sure it is a movie your loved one is in to and you both can enjoy this special activity together.
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/b9.jpg
4) The best thing you can do to ensure that you get that Valentine’s day sex, is to ALWAYS pay attention to your loved one……
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/e1c3e87c60b1247ce4c43a195cbe803d.jpg
................I said pay attention to your loved one, so quit looking at those other girls boobies!!!
So if you follow these steps, I’m sure that by the end of the night, when that special time arrives, your loved one will be more than willing to try and do this…………..
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2765/4359376143_3083b84382_m.jpg
Good luck from SA.
***SA’s Player of the Week***
This week the POW goes to the Ares Assassins HB Silky Jackson!
He rushed for 65 yards on 9 carries and had 7 receptions for 113 yards and 2 TD’s to help the Assassins get past the Buda Pests, 31-27.
So here’s to you, Silky Jackson………………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/GuinnessBeer.jpg
SALUTE!!
Will you be my Valentine?
Or will you just take me out, wine me, dine me, sixty nine me, get dressed immediately afterwards then make yourself a bologna sandwich and take my change off the night stand on your way out and never call me again?
Not that I’ve ever done that, but it’s the best way to recover from beer goggles sometimes.
Just read the Sport’s Page while getting a Valentine’s Day hummer, chuckleheads!!
The very first Valentine’s Day card read:
“My sweetheart,
You are the air that I breathe,
You are the water I drink,
When we are together, my darling, all I can think is………….
………………….LET’S DO THIS SHIT!!!
You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.
****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Sofia Spiders (3-0) LW1 - The Sea Wasps are good enough to knock anyone down, so do what you’ve been doing best all season long……win.
Next opponent: at #8 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (2-1)
Valentine: I give to you guys the REAL meaning of Valentine’s Day
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/valentines-day-love-valentines-holi.jpg
#2 Short Bus Allstars (3-0) LW2 - Time to make a bus stop for the Ninjas, make them pay double the fare.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It75wQ0JypA
Next opponent: #9 Minsk Ninjas (2-1)
Valentine: Vince and the ShamWow, the gift that never stops giving………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/shamwow-shamwow-vice-love-his-nuts-.jpg
#3 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-0) LW5 - You are in the GOW, have fun!
Next opponent: #5 Old School (2-1)
Valentine: Only a one eyed love monster can fit in the Black Hand………….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/one-eye-love-monster-viagra-love-de.jpg
#4 Stirling Four Horsemen (3-0) LW6 - Just another day at the office, eh Horsemen?
Just keep winning to stay in the Top 4, because you guys have some rough waters ahead.
Next opponent: at #12 Arkadak Arsenal (1-2)
Valentine: I give you guys a very special valentine from me and I will actually reveal my true identity to you, just because I’m so caring……….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/valentines-day-valentine-s-day-mans.jpg
#5 Old School (2-1) LW3 - Go back to the GOW.
Next opponent: at #3 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-0)
Valentine: This Valentine’s Day, just take your wife, GF, mistress or partner to a romantic movie…………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/that-was-a-beautiful-lovely-movie-d.jpg
#6 Buda Pests (2-1) LW4 - Enjoy the win on Valentine’s Day.
Next opponent: at #15 Saratov Catrades (0-3)
Valentine: You can either consider this a pest or protects you from having pests………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/no-glove-no-love-demotivational-pos.jpg
#7 Ares Assassins (2-1) LW7 - *YYAAAAAAWWWNNN*
The TimberWolves?
Night, night………….Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……….
Next opponent: #16 Hollywood TimberWolves (0-3)
Valentine: Take this advice and apply it to the wife, GF or mistress tonight………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/tough-love-and-discipline-tough-lov.jpg
#8 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (2-1) LW8 - If you really want that title, you need to score a big win and teams don’t get any bigger than the Spiders.
Next opponent: #1 Sofia Spiders (3-0)
Valentine: Enjoy a three-way from SA…………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/torn-between-two-lovers-threesome-m.jpg
#9 Minsk Ninjas (2-1) LW11 - Two strong wins, can you keep it up against one of Alpha’s best?
Next opponent: at #2 Short Bus Allstars (3-0)
Valentine: One thing you should drink for every Ninja to grow up big and strong……
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/nopenone-nope-none-got-milk-need-lo.jpg
#10 Ukraine Freight Train (1-2) LW9 - Let’s get back on the winning tracks with the Voodoo. We need a win here to get back to .500 and stay in the race.
Next opponent: #14 Vladivostok Voodoo (0-3)
Valentine: I <3 Freight Train…………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/mixed-messages-shit-love-demotivati.jpg
#11 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (1-2) LW10 - The ManiAx are reeling, so it may be the most opportune time to get a W over them and you need a win badly.
Next opponent: at #13 Munich ManiAx (0-3)
Valentine: This Valentine’s Day I will tell you how your parents met……….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/transparency-airman-relationships-l.jpg
#12 Arkadak Arsenal (1-2) LW13 – You guys have done well against better teams, but you need to get over the hump somehow.
Maybe you can figure it our in the next game against the Horsemen up next.
Next opponent: #4 Stirling Four Horsemen (3-0)
Valentine: Oh, the things I won’t do for love, enjoy…………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/true-love-true-love-demotivational-.jpg
#13 Munich ManiAx (0-3) LW12 - I haven’t lost faith, but I’m starting to sober yup so start winning……..now!
Next opponent: #11 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (1-2)
Valentine: I give you guys the two greatest things that a man could ever love………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/the-two-favorite-things-of-man-ever.jpg
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (0-3) LW14 - You need to do that voodoo you do so well………..and fast!
Next opponent: at #10 Ukraine Freight Train (1-2)
Valentine: You guys get the Whammy, blondes and beer. If you get married, you know who to make best man………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/true-love-august-6-demotivational-p.jpg
#15 Saratov Catrades (0-3) LW15 - Just grab your valentine.
Next opponent: #6 Buda Pests (2-1)
Valentine: These guys need to go back to sucking on their mother’s teets………….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/mothers-day-life-time-woman-love-at.jpg
#16 Hollywood TimberWolves (0-3) LW16 - Just grab your valentine.
Next opponent: at #7 Ares Assassins (2-1)
Valentine: Maybe you guys should play a different game…………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/roundball-i-love-round-objects-demo.jpg
*****WEEK 4 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
So I’ll keep track of my predictions week by week just to see if I am any dam good. In the Game of the Week's (GOW) I'll go up against my old pal, the On Line Magic 8 Ball http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/
Yes, I really do consult an On Line Magic 8 Ball.
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 5-3 Week 3: 6-2
Overall: 16-8
SA’s GOW: 2-1
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 1-2
#5 Old School (2-1) at #3 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-0) = Sarajevo Black Hand
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#6 Buda Pests (2-1) at #15 Saratov Catrades (0-3) = Buda Pests
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#9 Minsk Ninjas (2-1) at #2 Short Bus Allstars (3-0) = Short Bus Allstars
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#4 Stirling Four Horsemen (3-0) at #12 Arkadak Arsenal (1-2) = Stirling Four Horsemen
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#11 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (1-2) at #13 Munich ManiAx (0-3) = Munich ManiAx
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (0-3) at #10 Ukraine Freight Train (1-2) = Ukraine Freight Train
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#1 Sofia Spiders (3-0) at #8 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (2-1) = Sofia Spiders
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#16 Hollywood TimberWolves (0-3) at #7 Ares Assassins (2-1) = Ares Assassins
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#5 Old School (2-1) at #3 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-0) -
Old School!
Black Hand!
Two great teams that know how to get down!
This time it will be in Thunder Dome for a Valentine’s Day Massacre!
A top 4 ranking is at stake and more!
This one is a winner takes your wife, GF, mistress or partner match!
I think that is pretty self explanatory.
Let’s sim this bitch!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Old School beat the Black Hand?
8 Ball's answer: It is definitely so.
SA's Pick: Sarajevo Black Hand
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Old School
26/48 beers! – Well there are three great match ups this week that should put you in the mood to do some Val-Day damage!
The Minsk Ninjas are on a roll and they take on the always strong Short Bus Allstars!
The Sofia Spiders will be defending their top[ ranking against a capable Sea Wasps team!
And the GOW has Old School getting down with the Black hand!
If these games don’t get the wife in the mood to lay you, try a roofie and let the good times roll.
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in the Alpha!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-0) LW1 - Time to defend that #1 rank against another top opponent in the GOW.
Next opponent: at #3 Stewart Ballers (3-0)
Valentine: Love comes in all shapes and sizes…….even fugly……….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-wedding-love-fat-demotivationa.jpg
#2 C-Town Hoodlums (3-0) LW2 - Impressive win over Buffalo last week. The games in the next 5 games could be a little easier, but if the balers beat Stryden, you could be the new #1 as long as you get this next win.
Next opponent: at #12 Bucharest Warriors (1-2)
Valentine: I wish I was that thin strip of cloth…………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-or-lust-demotivational-poster-.jpg
#3 Stewart Ballers (3-0) LW3 - Straight to the GOW.
Next opponent: #1 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-0)
Valentine: I’m giving you guys this device for Valentine’s day, so enjoy (it really does help)……..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/easy-rider-easy-rider-motorcycles-w.jpg
#4 Vilnius Velociraptors (3-0) LW5 - Enjoy the R&R after three straight wins. These Raptors are fo’ real!
Next opponent: at #15 Hellas Hoplites (0-3)
Valentine: I banged a chick with the same tattoo that I had picked up at a new widow’s support group. It’s a great place to pick up single women.
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-lesson-demotivational-poster-1.jpg
#5 Portland Niners (2-1) LW6 - The Raiders have yet to beat a top opponent, so that could bode well for the Niners and a win will keep you ahead of the rest of the rats clawing at your heels.
Next opponent: #8 Rome Raiders (1-2)
Valentine: Just follow Mr. Tyler’s advice………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-in-an-elevator-aerosmith-beaut.jpg
……..you know we have to hear it…………
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQ6zQxGJtSM
#6 Chernobyl Aftermath (2-1) LW8 - 255-0? I think that’s a good guess of the score on the next game.
Nuke’em JRoyal!!
Next opponent: at #16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-3)
Valentine: I cry every time I read this, it should be on a Hallmark card……….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/liquid-love-liquid-love-beer-demoti.jpg
#7 Buffalo WarZone (2-1) LW4 - The Pigs haven’t been doing well this season, so this game could get you ahead of the rest with a win.
Next opponent: #13 Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs (0-3)
Valentine: Sometimes Valentine’s Day means doing things you normally wouldn’t………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-demotivational-poster-12275600.jpg
#8 Rome Raiders (1-2) LW11 - I don’t know if you will get back to .500 this week, you’re better off waiting for the game after.
Next opponent: at #5 Portland Niners (2-1)
Valentine: Very good reminder……………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-is-grand-another-papa-bone-gem.jpg
#9 Belgrade Blaze (1-2) LW13 - FINALLY!! You guys get your 1st win of season 14! Yay!
Now all you need to do is keep it going. (Let’s see if you take this advice as well)
Next opponent: #10 Jefferson City Bucks (1-2)
Valentine: It’s a tough decision, nice car or ice cream…………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/hell-no-yes-i-love-the-car-more-dem.jpg
#10 Jefferson City Bucks (1-2) LW7 - Well I have never seen the Bucks go 1-2 before, but they aren’t out of it yet. You guys can still get a win over the blaze and keep pace with the rest of the pack.
Next opponent: at #9 Belgrade Blaze (1-2)
Valentine: Sometimes it is good to have a Valentine’s Day wingman……..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-is-in-the-air-demotivational-p.jpg
#11 Russian Revolution (1-2) LW9 - Welcome back to .500!
Next opponent: at #14 Odessa Mojo (0-3)
Valentine: One word of advice, if you are looking for the right words to say to your wife, GF or mistress, this isn’t it…………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/love-notes-the-glass-ceiling-at-nec.jpg
#12 Bucharest Warriors (1-2) LW10 - It says on their team profile page, “We are here to win! Bucharest Warriors is a real American football team in Romania!”
Who?
Next opponent: #2 C-Town Hoodlums (3-0)
Valentine: The Warriors could be revitalized if they get their swords swallowed tonight………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/i-love-sword-demotivational-poster-.jpg
#13 Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs (0-3) LW12 - The season is slipping away fast.
Next opponent: at #7 Buffalo WarZone (2-1)
Valentine: We all love pigs, because we all love bacon……………
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/bacon-panties.jpg
#14 Odessa Mojo (0-3) LW14 - One step closer to the Hot Chick Lounge.
Next opponent: #11 Russian Revolution (1-2)
Valentine: Hot Chick Lounge grand opening just for you………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/grand-openings-life-time-women-men-.jpg
#15 Hellas Hoplites (0-3) LW15 - Your invitation to the Hot Chick Lounge is in the mail. So enjoy the time you have left.
Next opponent: #4 Vilnius Velociraptors (3-0)
Valentine: Two big reasons why we love you this Valentine’s Day……..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/could-you-be-loved-boobs-demotivati.jpg
#16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-3) LW16 - Just grab your valentine.
Next opponent: #6 Chernobyl Aftermath (2-1)
Valentine: When you are in a cubicle all day, it’s nice to have a loved one……..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Valentines%20Day%20GLB%20Pics/corporate-team-building-love-men-ki.jpg
*****WEEK 4 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 7-1 Week 3: 7-1
Overall: 19-5
SA’s GOW: 2-1
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 2-1
#1 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-0) at #3 Stewart Ballers (3-0) = Stewart Ballers
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#10 Jefferson City Bucks (1-2) at #9 Belgrade Blaze (1-2) = Belgrade Blaze
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#13 Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs (0-3) at #7 Buffalo WarZone (2-1) = Buffalo WarZone
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#8 Rome Raiders (1-2) at #5 Portland Niners (2-1) = Portland Niners
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#2 C-Town Hoodlums (3-0) at #12 Bucharest Warriors (1-2) = C-Town Hoodlums
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#11 Russian Revolution (1-2) at #14 Odessa Mojo (0-3) = Russian Revolution
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#4 Vilnius Velociraptors (3-0) at #15 Hellas Hoplites (0-3) = Vilnius Velociraptors
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#6 Chernobyl Aftermath (2-1) at #16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-3) = Chernobyl Aftermath
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#1 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-0) at #3 Stewart Ballers (3-0) -
It’s the Battle of the Balls!
One team blitzes them and the other team is a bunch of them!
Hide your women and children!
This one could destroy several surrounding city blocks!
We’ve thrown them inside Thunder Dome, locked the doors and threw away the key!
Whichever team is still alive in the morning, shall be declared winner!
So let’s go to Arby’s and wait this one out.
Yo Bort, let’s get this sim started!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Blitzkrieg Balls beat the Ballers?
8 Ball's answer: You may rely on it.
SA's Pick: Stewart Ballers
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
21/48 beers! – Only one beer worthy match up in all of Zeta and it is worth all 21 of those beers!
It’s this week’s GOW and it features two of the best teams to ever play a browser based Beta MMO of American style football simulated by colored dots!
So get the flowers and candy out of the way, put aside the cards and I love you’s, hurry up and hand out the gift you gave your wife and the even more expensive gifts you gave the woman you are cheating on her with, because this game is good enough to replace sex!
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 15, 2010 11:34:43
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 14, 2010 14:50:54
