Brought to you all from the mighty Badgerbacker. It's riddled with grammatical errors from a drunken rambler, but a good read regardless. 
Originally posted by BADGERBACKER
SHOCK THIS!!!
First, you'll notice a slight name change from the old Shocker Times. In a survey 9 out of 10 like Shock This. I go with the people on these decisions.
Outside of the all important season starting our very own Joe "ass taker" Miken is coming off wrist surgery. For those who have not said anything make your way over to the post and wish him a speedy recovery - a spoiler alert, his wrist is jacked up (no pun intended).
Please stay up to date on the training of your players and the changes requested by the group. We have looked well in our first two scrimmages but we'll get a better feel for the team after the scrimmage tomorrow against a good team. Not say the teams we played were shitty, wait, yes I am. My main goal for this was just to bust out my conference predictions which I finished short while ago. Overall, I think the conference has three top level teams but many will fall into that 5-14 range where there will be some surprises as I really don't know the teams and was shooting from the hip on some of those projected records.
WESTERN CONFERENCE PREDICTION:
I think USPL had to say two words when they saw two former teams in MEM and Cincy coming back down - "OH SHIT!" While both teams struggled in S13 in the WL both teams are poised to make a run to get back up with the big boys. I'm not discounting the other teams (well, maybe a little) but i believe the conference title is already down to two teams - MEM and Cincy. Sorry other squads, geaer up for next season.
jearly said it best "its not the old USPL, thats for sure." All you need to do is look - there are only seven of the 16 teams that have either USA AAA gold or silver. Hell, a handfull of teams don't even have a trophy or have one from a minor uncapped league. While I like the WL this is just the best example of why it should go away. There are well over half the teams in this conference that shouldn't even be here...before I get on my soapbox I'll step off since this is about the conference review.
1. Cincinnati Shockers - Of course there will be a little slant and a semi bias here but after a terrible S13 its time for the Shockers to rise up once again and to dominate a once pround USPL. Early indications from the LOLscrimmages point to a strong turnaround but as gay activist Joe Miken pointed out "Let's also not forget that these first two teams won 3 & 5 games last season respectively. The Alpine game on Friday should be a little better guage."
The big tag on the Shockers last season was some sketchy line play which just decimated any offensive ability to run the ball, inability to pass the ball effectively, missing tackles and the DL getting pancaked to death. OB was a Shocker legend and likley first HOF inductee (OR HE SHOULD BE) - the baton was passed but dropped. Picking it up is RB Ace Flame. Flame with be the figure head and identity of the Shocker offense - kind of the "hop on boys and I'll carry you to victory." As long as he's running well its a rest for the D and a beatdown to the opposing D. The OL will need to pave the way for Ace and the Shockers to have the kind of season they are expecting. While nothing is a given I expect a few tough games and its likely a loss will occur. Just one though - and that may be a big "if."
BADGER PREDICTION: 15-1 (1st Place)
2. Monmouth Evil Monkeys - It looks as though Coach V has his guys ready and primed to make another run at the WL. It won't be an easy task as only one roadblock will stand in their way. One interesting note for MEM is their starting RB (Jamall Lewis) is our starting RB (Ace Flame) - which is better? Lewis has put up over 1,000 yards in MEM's first two LOLscrimmages - both routes. A old familiar face is on their D but due to his age is no longer a dominate force or starter for them (JJ). Josh should have a good time on MEM as his old running mate taurran has the back up RB - that is a little bit funny. I'll give him three games before he starts bitching about his lack of touches. All that aside the MEM squad has the pieces in place to run the table or come close to it.
BADGER PREDICTION: 15-1 (2nd Place)
3. Bortsville Mystery Nerf - This team looks poised to crash the Shocker and MEM conference final party but looking at their history they have done one thing well - lose the big games. Last season they didn't win any of their games decided by a eight or less (that was four games). Its a trend from previous seasons as well. That leads to one thing - game planning. I have no doubt they have some very well build out players but in the big games (and there won't be many within the conference) game planning will really rear its ugly head. They will be a top flight conference team and I'm curious to see how they do against the big boys paying a visit from the WL.
BADGER PREDICTION: 3rd Place (13-3)
4. Ketchikan Kamper Adventure Rentals - this team usually reminds me of a squad full of promise who lends itself to big time failure. They haven't looked real studly in their two scrimmages but haven't looked piss poor either. If they can weather an early storm (Alpine and Cincy in two of their first three) they should have a easy go until meeting up with MEM in their finale. They'll have to avoid the upsets and beat NJB which I think they do easily. I just don't think they will have enough to get past BMN for that third spot.
BADGER PREDICTION: 4th place (12-4)
5. New Jersey Battalion - Part of the NJ Coalition - not sure i would openly admit that myself. This squad has been in the league for a few seasons making their first playoff appearance last season. This should be their second appearance as I think they will battle with KKAR for a home playoff game. At this point I'd really toss a coin as neither have been overly impressive in their scrimmages - NJB getting beat down by 55 - ouch. The team looks solid enough on paper but will have to perform better on the field. With the lack of competition I think this team can drop a few unexpected and still finish at no. 5 without much effort spent.
BADGER PREDICTION: 5th place (11-5)
6. Austin Longhorns - I should toss this team to 16th based on team name alone. They boast "11 Straight Playoff Appearances with no end in sight!" Your right Dorothy, no need to fix your glasses because with the shit pile of teams in the conference a good team could probably be a playoff bound team using their punter as the QB - well, that maybe pushing it but what they should have included was 'two straight first round exits and only two W's in four seasons." They wont be a top tier team but one that could possibly peak their head or at least sniff the top four until they face the tough second half of their schedule.
BADGER PREDICTION: 6th place (10-6)
7. Minnesota Skulls - Earned earned their way up to USPL this season by winning their conference. They scrimmaged the team that beat them and came away with an impressive W 48-9...either they got a whole lot better from last season or Jax Beach got a whole lot worse. Either way you slice it this team looks to have a very solid roster in place. I don't know anything about their game planning but usually a rookie team comes in and does well to make the playoffs and this is the team.
BADGER PREDICTION: 7th place (10-6)
8. Northwest Nighthawks - This squad and never really wowed me in the past and with their 9-7 record last season haven't proven much. However, I'd like to officially peg this team as my sleeper squad for the season. While they will move silently through the season they should pull off a surprise or two and possibly push for a playoff spot. That 79-19 loss to SOFPM certainly puts a damper on showing too much enthusiasm for them as those type of beatdowns are not just a litte tactical adjustments and spell a larger problem. Once again, I bow to the the weakness of the overall conference to push this team into a top eight squad.
BADGER PREDICTION: 8th place (9-7)
9. Canton NFL "Busts" - Another "Official GLB Addict Team." I guess you throw your name in the hat to get these "official" words in your note from the owner - wonder if they have patches on their jackets...enough of the nonsense on my part. This team is making the jump from AAA ball where they lost their conference final to the Chicago Beasts - wtf, are free passes to pro leagues flying out of the hands of admin. Everytime I go to write something nice or wonderful about these new teams I run into the same thing - if you don't win your way into USPL just wait for the free invite. Now, this team should be alright looking at their roster and they've looked decent against decent competition. I'd like to think they will be fighting for a playoff spot all season - should eek in but there will be some drama for the six through eight spots - that may be the best thing to watch conference wise...they won't quite make it.
BADGER PREDICTION: 9th place (9-7)
10. Corpus Christi Illegal Aliens - A very young team here and I hope they haven't used their boosts yet. Last season was their first in USPL and they came away with a playoff birth and an overall 10-7 record. Not bad at all but the clock is striking midnight and this team is heading for a nose dive.
BADGER PREDICTION: 10th place (8-8)
11. Chicago Beasts - Have some sprinklings of some S5 players and I think they are just going to be a bit young to come in and make a lot of noise off the bat. Should be like many and be fighting for that elusive 8th playoff spot. I just don't know that they will have the guns to keep up with some of the mid-tier teams. They will win some games and may likely surprise to what I forecast them out at.
BADGER PREDICTION: 11th place (7-9)
12. Oakland BlackReign - Another USPL freebie - one thing really sticks out - they just got the crap kicked out of them by Canton NFL Busts in the regular season and their second round playoff loss. This squad is simply a rinse and repeat of what Ive already said except I dont envision them being in any sort of playoff picture when the season ends. Will put up a fight but the hands will drop late and theyl get knocked the fuck out.
BADGER PREDICTION: 12th place (6-10)
13. Mentone Beach Assault - Another team taking the charity train to USPL - I guess all the surprise is out of me after really looking at some of the teams here. A 13-3 and 1-1 playoff record gets the team here - yes, what strong competitiion we'll have from top to bottom!!! This team does look a little more promising on paper than some of the others but their early two scrims repeat a familiar patter - get shellled and then do some shelling. They can build their farm, coozy up to it and try to stay warm with the rest of the group in the 7-10 spot.
BADGER PREDICTION: 13h place (5-11)
14. Gaines Panthers - They throw it out there for all to see on their home page:
SEASON 14 – USA PRO
USA AAA Playoffs - Season 13 1-1
USA AA Playoffs - Season 12 1-1
USA AA Playoffs - Season 11 0-1
Undefeated League Champions - Season 10.
Wow, they have earned their right to be here with that impressive 2-3 playoff performance from seasons 11-13. I guess they did win an uncapped title so they should be in the USPL. Another team capitalizing on the WL implementation - have the feeling they still would be in AA had nothing changed. Anyway, their two scrimmages sum the squad up - a 173-0 loss and a 255-0 win. They will beat the shit teams and get crushed my the decent ones.
BADGER PREDICTION: 14th place (4-12)
15. SOUTH GEORGIA GROWL - I'm scratching my head trying to figure out how this team is in a pro league. No trophies of any sort and have played in only one conference championship game (losing it obviously) in season 11. While their home page prominately displays "Official GLB Addict Team" it should say "Official Red-Headed Stepchild Team." There should be some light at the end of the tunnel considering they have only given up 140 points in their first two scrimmages. I guess the small problem enters into the equation that they have only scored 17 points themselves...not a math guy but that seams like it maybe problematic. They have some depth chart issues that will cause them issues all season.
BADGER PREDICTION: (1-15)
16. Las Vegas Flyin' Elvis - This once solid organization looks to be on the short side a roster unless you count the nine CPU players. They sport 31 human players and look a bit discombobulated - as evidenced by their two brutal losses in their scrimmages.
BADGER PREDICTION: 16th Place (0-16)
EASTERN CONFERENCE PREDICTION: who gives a rat's ass who the Shockers play in the title game.
Disclaimer If I somehow offended you - fuck off, I really don't care.
Originally posted by BADGERBACKER
SHOCK THIS!!!
First, you'll notice a slight name change from the old Shocker Times. In a survey 9 out of 10 like Shock This. I go with the people on these decisions.
Outside of the all important season starting our very own Joe "ass taker" Miken is coming off wrist surgery. For those who have not said anything make your way over to the post and wish him a speedy recovery - a spoiler alert, his wrist is jacked up (no pun intended).
Please stay up to date on the training of your players and the changes requested by the group. We have looked well in our first two scrimmages but we'll get a better feel for the team after the scrimmage tomorrow against a good team. Not say the teams we played were shitty, wait, yes I am. My main goal for this was just to bust out my conference predictions which I finished short while ago. Overall, I think the conference has three top level teams but many will fall into that 5-14 range where there will be some surprises as I really don't know the teams and was shooting from the hip on some of those projected records.
WESTERN CONFERENCE PREDICTION:
I think USPL had to say two words when they saw two former teams in MEM and Cincy coming back down - "OH SHIT!" While both teams struggled in S13 in the WL both teams are poised to make a run to get back up with the big boys. I'm not discounting the other teams (well, maybe a little) but i believe the conference title is already down to two teams - MEM and Cincy. Sorry other squads, geaer up for next season.
jearly said it best "its not the old USPL, thats for sure." All you need to do is look - there are only seven of the 16 teams that have either USA AAA gold or silver. Hell, a handfull of teams don't even have a trophy or have one from a minor uncapped league. While I like the WL this is just the best example of why it should go away. There are well over half the teams in this conference that shouldn't even be here...before I get on my soapbox I'll step off since this is about the conference review.
1. Cincinnati Shockers - Of course there will be a little slant and a semi bias here but after a terrible S13 its time for the Shockers to rise up once again and to dominate a once pround USPL. Early indications from the LOLscrimmages point to a strong turnaround but as gay activist Joe Miken pointed out "Let's also not forget that these first two teams won 3 & 5 games last season respectively. The Alpine game on Friday should be a little better guage."
The big tag on the Shockers last season was some sketchy line play which just decimated any offensive ability to run the ball, inability to pass the ball effectively, missing tackles and the DL getting pancaked to death. OB was a Shocker legend and likley first HOF inductee (OR HE SHOULD BE) - the baton was passed but dropped. Picking it up is RB Ace Flame. Flame with be the figure head and identity of the Shocker offense - kind of the "hop on boys and I'll carry you to victory." As long as he's running well its a rest for the D and a beatdown to the opposing D. The OL will need to pave the way for Ace and the Shockers to have the kind of season they are expecting. While nothing is a given I expect a few tough games and its likely a loss will occur. Just one though - and that may be a big "if."
BADGER PREDICTION: 15-1 (1st Place)
2. Monmouth Evil Monkeys - It looks as though Coach V has his guys ready and primed to make another run at the WL. It won't be an easy task as only one roadblock will stand in their way. One interesting note for MEM is their starting RB (Jamall Lewis) is our starting RB (Ace Flame) - which is better? Lewis has put up over 1,000 yards in MEM's first two LOLscrimmages - both routes. A old familiar face is on their D but due to his age is no longer a dominate force or starter for them (JJ). Josh should have a good time on MEM as his old running mate taurran has the back up RB - that is a little bit funny. I'll give him three games before he starts bitching about his lack of touches. All that aside the MEM squad has the pieces in place to run the table or come close to it.
BADGER PREDICTION: 15-1 (2nd Place)
3. Bortsville Mystery Nerf - This team looks poised to crash the Shocker and MEM conference final party but looking at their history they have done one thing well - lose the big games. Last season they didn't win any of their games decided by a eight or less (that was four games). Its a trend from previous seasons as well. That leads to one thing - game planning. I have no doubt they have some very well build out players but in the big games (and there won't be many within the conference) game planning will really rear its ugly head. They will be a top flight conference team and I'm curious to see how they do against the big boys paying a visit from the WL.
BADGER PREDICTION: 3rd Place (13-3)
4. Ketchikan Kamper Adventure Rentals - this team usually reminds me of a squad full of promise who lends itself to big time failure. They haven't looked real studly in their two scrimmages but haven't looked piss poor either. If they can weather an early storm (Alpine and Cincy in two of their first three) they should have a easy go until meeting up with MEM in their finale. They'll have to avoid the upsets and beat NJB which I think they do easily. I just don't think they will have enough to get past BMN for that third spot.
BADGER PREDICTION: 4th place (12-4)
5. New Jersey Battalion - Part of the NJ Coalition - not sure i would openly admit that myself. This squad has been in the league for a few seasons making their first playoff appearance last season. This should be their second appearance as I think they will battle with KKAR for a home playoff game. At this point I'd really toss a coin as neither have been overly impressive in their scrimmages - NJB getting beat down by 55 - ouch. The team looks solid enough on paper but will have to perform better on the field. With the lack of competition I think this team can drop a few unexpected and still finish at no. 5 without much effort spent.
BADGER PREDICTION: 5th place (11-5)
6. Austin Longhorns - I should toss this team to 16th based on team name alone. They boast "11 Straight Playoff Appearances with no end in sight!" Your right Dorothy, no need to fix your glasses because with the shit pile of teams in the conference a good team could probably be a playoff bound team using their punter as the QB - well, that maybe pushing it but what they should have included was 'two straight first round exits and only two W's in four seasons." They wont be a top tier team but one that could possibly peak their head or at least sniff the top four until they face the tough second half of their schedule.
BADGER PREDICTION: 6th place (10-6)
7. Minnesota Skulls - Earned earned their way up to USPL this season by winning their conference. They scrimmaged the team that beat them and came away with an impressive W 48-9...either they got a whole lot better from last season or Jax Beach got a whole lot worse. Either way you slice it this team looks to have a very solid roster in place. I don't know anything about their game planning but usually a rookie team comes in and does well to make the playoffs and this is the team.
BADGER PREDICTION: 7th place (10-6)
8. Northwest Nighthawks - This squad and never really wowed me in the past and with their 9-7 record last season haven't proven much. However, I'd like to officially peg this team as my sleeper squad for the season. While they will move silently through the season they should pull off a surprise or two and possibly push for a playoff spot. That 79-19 loss to SOFPM certainly puts a damper on showing too much enthusiasm for them as those type of beatdowns are not just a litte tactical adjustments and spell a larger problem. Once again, I bow to the the weakness of the overall conference to push this team into a top eight squad.
BADGER PREDICTION: 8th place (9-7)
9. Canton NFL "Busts" - Another "Official GLB Addict Team." I guess you throw your name in the hat to get these "official" words in your note from the owner - wonder if they have patches on their jackets...enough of the nonsense on my part. This team is making the jump from AAA ball where they lost their conference final to the Chicago Beasts - wtf, are free passes to pro leagues flying out of the hands of admin. Everytime I go to write something nice or wonderful about these new teams I run into the same thing - if you don't win your way into USPL just wait for the free invite. Now, this team should be alright looking at their roster and they've looked decent against decent competition. I'd like to think they will be fighting for a playoff spot all season - should eek in but there will be some drama for the six through eight spots - that may be the best thing to watch conference wise...they won't quite make it.
BADGER PREDICTION: 9th place (9-7)
10. Corpus Christi Illegal Aliens - A very young team here and I hope they haven't used their boosts yet. Last season was their first in USPL and they came away with a playoff birth and an overall 10-7 record. Not bad at all but the clock is striking midnight and this team is heading for a nose dive.
BADGER PREDICTION: 10th place (8-8)
11. Chicago Beasts - Have some sprinklings of some S5 players and I think they are just going to be a bit young to come in and make a lot of noise off the bat. Should be like many and be fighting for that elusive 8th playoff spot. I just don't know that they will have the guns to keep up with some of the mid-tier teams. They will win some games and may likely surprise to what I forecast them out at.
BADGER PREDICTION: 11th place (7-9)
12. Oakland BlackReign - Another USPL freebie - one thing really sticks out - they just got the crap kicked out of them by Canton NFL Busts in the regular season and their second round playoff loss. This squad is simply a rinse and repeat of what Ive already said except I dont envision them being in any sort of playoff picture when the season ends. Will put up a fight but the hands will drop late and theyl get knocked the fuck out.
BADGER PREDICTION: 12th place (6-10)
13. Mentone Beach Assault - Another team taking the charity train to USPL - I guess all the surprise is out of me after really looking at some of the teams here. A 13-3 and 1-1 playoff record gets the team here - yes, what strong competitiion we'll have from top to bottom!!! This team does look a little more promising on paper than some of the others but their early two scrims repeat a familiar patter - get shellled and then do some shelling. They can build their farm, coozy up to it and try to stay warm with the rest of the group in the 7-10 spot.
BADGER PREDICTION: 13h place (5-11)
14. Gaines Panthers - They throw it out there for all to see on their home page:
SEASON 14 – USA PRO
USA AAA Playoffs - Season 13 1-1
USA AA Playoffs - Season 12 1-1
USA AA Playoffs - Season 11 0-1
Undefeated League Champions - Season 10.
Wow, they have earned their right to be here with that impressive 2-3 playoff performance from seasons 11-13. I guess they did win an uncapped title so they should be in the USPL. Another team capitalizing on the WL implementation - have the feeling they still would be in AA had nothing changed. Anyway, their two scrimmages sum the squad up - a 173-0 loss and a 255-0 win. They will beat the shit teams and get crushed my the decent ones.
BADGER PREDICTION: 14th place (4-12)
15. SOUTH GEORGIA GROWL - I'm scratching my head trying to figure out how this team is in a pro league. No trophies of any sort and have played in only one conference championship game (losing it obviously) in season 11. While their home page prominately displays "Official GLB Addict Team" it should say "Official Red-Headed Stepchild Team." There should be some light at the end of the tunnel considering they have only given up 140 points in their first two scrimmages. I guess the small problem enters into the equation that they have only scored 17 points themselves...not a math guy but that seams like it maybe problematic. They have some depth chart issues that will cause them issues all season.
BADGER PREDICTION: (1-15)
16. Las Vegas Flyin' Elvis - This once solid organization looks to be on the short side a roster unless you count the nine CPU players. They sport 31 human players and look a bit discombobulated - as evidenced by their two brutal losses in their scrimmages.
BADGER PREDICTION: 16th Place (0-16)
EASTERN CONFERENCE PREDICTION: who gives a rat's ass who the Shockers play in the title game.
Disclaimer If I somehow offended you - fuck off, I really don't care.
