So… it all started long, LONG, LONGGGGG ago in the year of 2010... Ermm.. I mean… 1020... Or something like that… the time it started is not important! So shut up and just read the story without trying to guess what decade this was in… if you happen to figure the precise time then you just have wayyy too much time on your hands and should find something else to do. I will not reward you nor will you find any girlfriends by figuring such things out… unless she’s like some really nerdy chick trying to find out precisely how old she is and then she’s like so grateful to you that she vows to be your servant forever. But what are the odds of that happening?.. And if you give me real odds, I swear I’m going to kill you in a slow, painful manner.
So, as I was saying… it all started with this guy named Jtrav. Of course, he wasn’t really a guy. He was a centaur. That’s right… half man, half horse. Being a centaur… he was a lonely one at that. Don’t get me wrong… he was all sexy and strong and muscular and all those great features, but where he lived, it was hard to find any of his kind. Being lonely and half man… with such small arms of a man and the hind parts of a horse, he couldn’t ever wipe himself very well nor find anyone to do it for him. The best he could do was position himself awkwardly on a tree and rub his hind parts against it. He learned after awhile that pine trees were not the best trees to perform this stunt with.
Well one day, he happened to be rubbing himself against a tree nymph without knowing so. When the tree spank him, he suddenly realized what he was facing and immediately began with the apologies. Of course, this tree nymph was different. This tree nymph was a guy named Gary and being the only male nymph in the world… he was attempting to hide from all the female nymph after his precious nectar. I can only hope that you make the connection here.
He soon formed a friendship with Jtrav (the Centaur) and they began to travel together. Jtrav offered to keep him hidden if Gary helped him with the whole cleaning up after bean burritos. Yes, believe it or not… after giving out so much nectar, it becomes quite a tiresome and painful matter.
Well these two being as awesome as they are… Jtrav the only Centaur in the Western hemisphere and Gary the only male nymph in the world… they created a club to welcome all special creatures of the world. Soon the wine god, Dynames, joined them… yes, Dynames. Somehow through many years of rough writing it became Dionysus, but those tales are incorrect. Only mine speaks the truth. If you question me, my friend Achmed will kill you.
They later had others join them like Jlevesque, the 2-eyed Cyclops… Rayzer, the mermaid with legs and male parts… Monarchs, the… well he was just FUBAR, he had one too many drinks with Dynames, the wine God so they let him join.
Through the times, they always had to change their name to stay with the times from The Athenian Agamemnons to the Gods of the Hitler Reign to the Elvis Impersanators to the Pussycat Dolls and to the current… The Commission.
So… in the end… they still stand as the most dominant forces on the planet… probably in the universe, but Jtrav is scared of heights and doesn’t want to travel to outer space and find out.
After reading this long selection, I hope you, the reader, reflect on what you have read and realize how much time you have wasted on reading this. Learn a lesson. Then realize how much time you waste on the internet each day… being on here will not get you laid anytime soon. Even those mail-order brides turn out to be big upsets sometimes… I… ermm.. My friend once got a guy as his bride. It was not pleasant and no where near worth the price of $1000. Just know that the knowledge of this crap will forever remain in your brain and you won’t forget it. This has officially ruined you as next time you have to study for a spelling test, you will see some word like “mythological” on there and think of this story and no longer be able to focus on the rest of the words and fail that test. So please.. Just turn the comp off now, get a life, stop living with your mother…
All you need to know is that The Commission is the best thing… like ever. Don’t argue with that because you know it’s true. Yeah so… get a life.
Thank you. And good night…
Oh and they live happily ever after destroying noobs on GLB.
Signed.
-NEXT
Head Director of Anal, Connotation (but not together, like I don't want to connotate your anal cavity unless you're like Megan Fox in which case I would make an exception) and Philosophical/Metaphorical Explanation by means of Tauntation.
So, as I was saying… it all started with this guy named Jtrav. Of course, he wasn’t really a guy. He was a centaur. That’s right… half man, half horse. Being a centaur… he was a lonely one at that. Don’t get me wrong… he was all sexy and strong and muscular and all those great features, but where he lived, it was hard to find any of his kind. Being lonely and half man… with such small arms of a man and the hind parts of a horse, he couldn’t ever wipe himself very well nor find anyone to do it for him. The best he could do was position himself awkwardly on a tree and rub his hind parts against it. He learned after awhile that pine trees were not the best trees to perform this stunt with.
Well one day, he happened to be rubbing himself against a tree nymph without knowing so. When the tree spank him, he suddenly realized what he was facing and immediately began with the apologies. Of course, this tree nymph was different. This tree nymph was a guy named Gary and being the only male nymph in the world… he was attempting to hide from all the female nymph after his precious nectar. I can only hope that you make the connection here.
He soon formed a friendship with Jtrav (the Centaur) and they began to travel together. Jtrav offered to keep him hidden if Gary helped him with the whole cleaning up after bean burritos. Yes, believe it or not… after giving out so much nectar, it becomes quite a tiresome and painful matter.
Well these two being as awesome as they are… Jtrav the only Centaur in the Western hemisphere and Gary the only male nymph in the world… they created a club to welcome all special creatures of the world. Soon the wine god, Dynames, joined them… yes, Dynames. Somehow through many years of rough writing it became Dionysus, but those tales are incorrect. Only mine speaks the truth. If you question me, my friend Achmed will kill you.
They later had others join them like Jlevesque, the 2-eyed Cyclops… Rayzer, the mermaid with legs and male parts… Monarchs, the… well he was just FUBAR, he had one too many drinks with Dynames, the wine God so they let him join.
Through the times, they always had to change their name to stay with the times from The Athenian Agamemnons to the Gods of the Hitler Reign to the Elvis Impersanators to the Pussycat Dolls and to the current… The Commission.
So… in the end… they still stand as the most dominant forces on the planet… probably in the universe, but Jtrav is scared of heights and doesn’t want to travel to outer space and find out.
After reading this long selection, I hope you, the reader, reflect on what you have read and realize how much time you have wasted on reading this. Learn a lesson. Then realize how much time you waste on the internet each day… being on here will not get you laid anytime soon. Even those mail-order brides turn out to be big upsets sometimes… I… ermm.. My friend once got a guy as his bride. It was not pleasant and no where near worth the price of $1000. Just know that the knowledge of this crap will forever remain in your brain and you won’t forget it. This has officially ruined you as next time you have to study for a spelling test, you will see some word like “mythological” on there and think of this story and no longer be able to focus on the rest of the words and fail that test. So please.. Just turn the comp off now, get a life, stop living with your mother…
All you need to know is that The Commission is the best thing… like ever. Don’t argue with that because you know it’s true. Yeah so… get a life.
Thank you. And good night…
Oh and they live happily ever after destroying noobs on GLB.
Signed.
-NEXT
Head Director of Anal, Connotation (but not together, like I don't want to connotate your anal cavity unless you're like Megan Fox in which case I would make an exception) and Philosophical/Metaphorical Explanation by means of Tauntation.
