Caveat - I'm pulling this out of my ass. I don;t have the time to scout everyone's team and their opponent's team and then try to come up with a real game prediction. I'm just looking at record, chemistry, previous game performance and maybe 'strength of schedule' counting the pre-season games. And even that sounds too complex for me to do in a short amount of time before the games actually sim.
Eastern Conference: http://goallineblitz.com/game/league.pl?league_id=41&conference_id=82&playoffs=0
Jacksonville Canaries vs. Detroit Dominators -- This matchup of inapt names will go as expected. Put on the gimp suits and just accept you're not dominators or even 'switch' but the Detroit Dominated. Sorry Detroit fans, Canaries win 41-3
Toronto Arctic Wolves vs. Houston Oil Rig Workers -- These Wolves are going to blow in out of the north and lay into Houston. They'll be tired from the long run, but they'll still have the energy to pull off the 'upset' beating the Oil Workers 14-6 on a strong Toronto defensive effort.
Biggold Brawlers vs. Dalton Dragons -- Imagine this.. A cute little kitty cat facing a daunting fire breathing dragon. Now imagine how this cute little kitty surprises the giant fire breathing dragon, hissing and ferociously attacking, sinking its tiny little claws and fangs into the dragons throat for a death grip kill. Now, remember that's just imaginary because its not going to happen. Dragons run all over the Biggold Brawlers winning 99-3.
Atlantic City Aces vs. Cleveland Kardiac Kids -- The boys from Trumpville learned something from the east coast gambling paradise *cough* , the house always win if you play enough games. In this case, one game should suffice. 21-17 Aces.
American Cardinals vs. Enterprise Venom -- The Venom have shown that they have the talent, but just not the skill to beat quality teams. Fortunately for them, the Cardinals are a quality team, but one just not quite ready to beat the talent of the Venom. 24-21 Venom.
"Quick Stop" Clerks vs. Pennsylvania Steagles -- Like our other rust belt representative Detroit, the folks in Pennsylvania are going to go home and choke themselves on beef sandwiches to try to eat away the sorrow inside. Dante, Randal, Jay, Silent Bob, and the rest of the boys are going to take their roof hockey skills and pummel this Steagles team 32-14.
Chinese Bandits vs. Chicago LMG Accountabillibuddies -- I like the Accountabillibuddies and I expect them to surprise some teams, but not this one. The Chinese Bandits have Sun Tsu as a coach and 1.2 billion screaming fans. That's going to inspire anyone. 35-12, Bandits.
New York Mustangs vs. St. Louis Knights -- Normally its the Knight riding the horse, but this time its going to be the other way around. Wear your hernia belts Knights (You won't need your chastity belts.. your princesses aren't going near you tonight) cause you're going to be ridden up and down the field by these wild stallions from New York. Mustangs win convincingly 52-17.
No ego's were bruised in the writing of this preview. Its purely for fun and not done with any malice or intent to dis your team in any way. I'm pulling shit out of my ass just for entertainment purposes, but if it somehow inspires your loldots, feel free to post it on your respective locker room walls
Eastern Conference: http://goallineblitz.com/game/league.pl?league_id=41&conference_id=82&playoffs=0
Jacksonville Canaries vs. Detroit Dominators -- This matchup of inapt names will go as expected. Put on the gimp suits and just accept you're not dominators or even 'switch' but the Detroit Dominated. Sorry Detroit fans, Canaries win 41-3
Toronto Arctic Wolves vs. Houston Oil Rig Workers -- These Wolves are going to blow in out of the north and lay into Houston. They'll be tired from the long run, but they'll still have the energy to pull off the 'upset' beating the Oil Workers 14-6 on a strong Toronto defensive effort.
Biggold Brawlers vs. Dalton Dragons -- Imagine this.. A cute little kitty cat facing a daunting fire breathing dragon. Now imagine how this cute little kitty surprises the giant fire breathing dragon, hissing and ferociously attacking, sinking its tiny little claws and fangs into the dragons throat for a death grip kill. Now, remember that's just imaginary because its not going to happen. Dragons run all over the Biggold Brawlers winning 99-3.
Atlantic City Aces vs. Cleveland Kardiac Kids -- The boys from Trumpville learned something from the east coast gambling paradise *cough* , the house always win if you play enough games. In this case, one game should suffice. 21-17 Aces.
American Cardinals vs. Enterprise Venom -- The Venom have shown that they have the talent, but just not the skill to beat quality teams. Fortunately for them, the Cardinals are a quality team, but one just not quite ready to beat the talent of the Venom. 24-21 Venom.
"Quick Stop" Clerks vs. Pennsylvania Steagles -- Like our other rust belt representative Detroit, the folks in Pennsylvania are going to go home and choke themselves on beef sandwiches to try to eat away the sorrow inside. Dante, Randal, Jay, Silent Bob, and the rest of the boys are going to take their roof hockey skills and pummel this Steagles team 32-14.
Chinese Bandits vs. Chicago LMG Accountabillibuddies -- I like the Accountabillibuddies and I expect them to surprise some teams, but not this one. The Chinese Bandits have Sun Tsu as a coach and 1.2 billion screaming fans. That's going to inspire anyone. 35-12, Bandits.
New York Mustangs vs. St. Louis Knights -- Normally its the Knight riding the horse, but this time its going to be the other way around. Wear your hernia belts Knights (You won't need your chastity belts.. your princesses aren't going near you tonight) cause you're going to be ridden up and down the field by these wild stallions from New York. Mustangs win convincingly 52-17.
No ego's were bruised in the writing of this preview. Its purely for fun and not done with any malice or intent to dis your team in any way. I'm pulling shit out of my ass just for entertainment purposes, but if it somehow inspires your loldots, feel free to post it on your respective locker room walls
Last edited Apr 28, 2009 12:40:45
