FAT DADDY CA$H’S CORNER
Week 6
Power Rankings: Week 6
Zeta Conference:
1. Black Forest Mercenaries (5-0):
Last Week: 2 (+1)
Black Forest gets the top spot for their first time in their WEPL careers and they should send a bottle of bubbly (or whatever hootch Corey is drinking these days) to Rotterdam as a thank you. While BFM is the sole remaining unbeaten in Zeta, it wasn’t easy as the rookie Black Knights gave the Mercs all they could handle in Week 5. With The Divots, Ice & Fire, Sevilla and Musketeers all up next, BFM has a real shot at getting to 9-0 before tangling with the Roughnecks.
2. Korb Destroyers (4-1):
Last Week: 3 (+1)
I’m not sure what was more shocking in Week 5, the Ballers’ loss or the 57-0 drubbing Korb dealt to the Pimps. Korb racked up 524 yards of offense while holding the normally explosive Pimps to a lowly 232 yards while forcing 7 punts and 2 INTs. The win was nearly enough for me to give Korb the top spot, but since BFM is undefeated (and beat Korb in Week 3) it would be monumentally unfair to do so. Still, even with that Week 3 loss, Korb just might be the best team in Zeta.
3. Rotterdam Roughnecks (3-2):
Last Week: 4 (+1)
So much for Corey’s fears of the Roughnecks missing the playoffs, eh? In two consecutive weeks the Roughnecks have knocked off two of Zeta’s unbeatens. Forgoing any pretense of a rushing game (despite Gabriel Knights’ 4 short yardage TD runs), Rotterdam took to the air as Corey Smith threw the ball 60 times. A 14 point lead after 3 quarters was enough to survive a 28 point onslaught from the Ballers in the final stanza. The Roughnecks pulled off the biggest upset of the year in WEPL but can’t celebrate too hard as two tough games are up next.
4. Berlin Ballers (4-1)
Last Week: 1 (-3)
This is a very harsh drop for the Ballers whom I still consider to be the top team in WEPL. However, I had no choice but to slot them 4. They can’t have the top slot, and I can’t put them at 2 after Korb’s dominating performance against the Pimps and while I could put them at 3 above the Roughnecks it didn’t seem fair for the Roughnecks to pull off the year’s biggest upset and NOT move up at least one spot. So here the Ballers sit. I don’t expect them to stay here for long as they have all winnable games until their Week 12 match up with BFM. A good old fashion winning streak will put the Rotterdam game in the distant rearview mirror.
5. Stockholm Meatballs (3-2):
Last Week: 6 (+1)
Stockholm bounced back in a big way against the slumping Dynasty in Week 5 as they controlled the clock and the tempo. Stockholm won the time of possession 42 minutes to just 17 while piling up 546 yards of balanced offense including 269 yards on the ground – this despite throwing 3 INTs, two of which were returned for TDs. Defensively Stockholm nabbed 3 INTs of their own and held the normally potent Lyon offense to just 186 total yards. With the Pimps and Ballers up next, the win was just what the doctor ordered to prevent a prolonged losing streak.
6. Grass Root Divots (3-2):
Last Week: 5 (-1)
The Divots came up just short against Antwerp as they lost an OT thriller in Week 5. The 30-27 loss was just the Divots’ second of the year but puts them on a slippery slope in the coming weeks. Thanks to the Dynasty and Pimps’ losses, the Divots don’t slip too far in the rankings, but with BFM and Korb in back-to-back weeks, the Divots will need to play their best games of the season to remain in the Top 8.
7. PPP Longnecks (3-2):
Last Week: 9 (+2)
Despite being outgained against the Musketeers 412 to 322 the Longnecks got their third straight workman-like victory of the year. For the second straight week the Longnecks found success on the ground as HB Jimmy Slasher averaged 6.7 yards on the ground and found the endzone once. While PPP has enjoyed the past three weeks against the lesser teams of Zeta, starting in Week 6 the Longnecks will find the sledding tougher as the begin a four game stretch against Rotterdam, Lyon, Berlin and Stockholm.
8. Rivals Mainboard Pimps (2-3):
Last Week 7 (-1)
The last time the Pimps were shut out was September 1, 2008 – which was Season 4 in a scrimmage against the Hitmen! That should put into harsh perspective how shocking the goose egg that Korb hung on the Pimps really was. So why, might you ask, do I still have the Pimps in the Top 8? Well, really it’s more of a comment on the rest of the Conference. I’ll cut the Pimps some slack for the Korb debacle as the Destroyers have been making teams look foolish for seasons. Add in their other 2 losses came at the hands of the undefeated BFM and the 4-1 Monarchs and that 2-3 record doesn’t look quite so bad. Still, with a big game against Stockholm up next, the Pimps will need to bounce back quick to avoid falling into a 2-4 hole.
9. Lyon Dynasty (3-2):
Last Week: 8 (-1)
Two straight losses have dropped the Dynasty out of the Top 8 and it won’t get any easier this week as they have to face off against the Ballers in Week 6. Despite the funk that the Dynasty find themselves in currently, they are still a dangerous team that is one big win away from turning it around. If they can put up a good fight against Berlin they’ll set themselves up for a nice run against the Longnecks, Rippers and Scorgasms.
10. London Rippers (3-2):
Last Week 13 (+3)
For the second straight week the Rippers found themselves on the right side of a narrow scoreboard. The 27-23 point win over the winless Naranjas was not the Rippers most impressive game as they were outgained 380 to 304. If it wasn’t for two timely INTs by the Rippers’ D, this game could have swung the other way. And if my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle. A win is a win and at 3-2 the Rippers are very much in the playoff picture even if they are at the bottom of the 3-2 team totem pole in the Rankigns.
11. Edinburgh Black Knighs (2-3):
Last Week 11
The Black Knights keep their spot in the rankings thanks to a solid effort against the unbeaten Mercs in Week 5. The Black Knights actually put up better stats than Black Forest as they gained 330 yards of offense to BFM’s 300. However the Black Knights lost the turnover battle 2-0 which ultimately cost them a chance at the upset. Things won’t get easier this week as the red-hot Korb Destroyers are up next.
12. Antwerp Annihilators (2-3)
Last Week: 7 (-6)
Antwerp’s thrilling OT victory over GRD might be just the spark that this team needs to turn it around. The schedule over the next few weeks certainly favors them as they will meet the Ice & Fire, Naranjas and Paris over the next three weeks. A 3-0 run over that stretch would not only put the Annihilators over the .500 mark but put them firmly in the playoff hunt for the final stretch of the season.
13. Ice & Fire (2-3):
Last Week: 14 (+1)
While it wasn’t an upset to see Ice & Fire beat Multiple in Week 5, it was certainly surprising to see Ice & Fire put up 118 points – the first triple digit score of the season. 118 points is a great way to put the skids on a 3 game losing streak and should set up a dynamite game with the Antwerp Annihilators in Week 6. With Black Forest and Korb up after Antwerp, Ice & Fire can’t afford to let this one get away.
14. Paris Musketeers (1-4):
Last Week: 12 (-2)
Paris put up a good fight against PPP but ultimately fell short, losing their third game in a row. The slow start to a season is nothing new for the Musketeers so they shouldn’t panic. However with the Rippers, Scorgasms and Annihilators up next, Paris has to find a way to go 2-1 over that stretch to keep themselves from slipping totally into the basement of Zeta.
15. Sevilla Naranjas (0-5):
Last Week: 15
Sevilla took the Rippers to the limit in Week 6 but ultimately lost their 12th straight game. The good news is the Scorgasms are up next. The bad news is BFM are on deck after that. Sevilla is running out of time to get their acts together and anything less than a dominating victory over the rebuilding Scorgasms will cast serious doubts about their ability to stave off relegation this year.
16. Multiple Scorgasms (0-5):
Last Week: 16
118 points. Ouch. With the winless Naranjas on the docket next, this might be Multiple’s best and only shot to get a W this year.
Alpha Conference:
1. Black Watch (5-0):
Last Week: 1
Black Watch took care of business against the unbeaten Graz Grizzlies in Week 5, showing the top of the rookie class just how far they have to climb before competing with the crust of the Conference. The 42-28 point victory was a one sided affair as the Grizzlies racked up 493 and forced 3 Grizzlie turnovers to secure the win. With the slumping Dragons up next, Black Watch should be able to cruise to 6-0 before their showdown with the Monarchs in Week 7.
2. E-City Mercenaries (5-0):
Last Week: 2
E-City put up a quick 17 points on the Red Bandits in the 1st quarter of their game and then clicked it into cruise control as they coasted to a 26-10 victory. The Merc’s offense was dominating in their game, more than doubling the Red Bandit’s output. A big game against the struggling Philharmonic looms – but if the Mercs can get by with a win, they are set up nicely until their Week 11 match-up with the Grizzlies.
3. London Monarchs (4-1):
Last Week: 4 (+1)
London jumped back up a spot after their 45-14 point thumping of the Philharmonics. In what was supposed to be a tight, hard fought game, the Monarchs unleashed their best defensive effort of the season as they held Paris to just 207 yards while racking up 9 sacks, 14 hurries and forcing 9 punts. The one sided blowout keeps the Monarchs firmly in the top 3 of Alpha – if not higher while it casts more doubts about Paris’s slow start to the year. With back-to-back brutal games up next against the Dream Bolts and Black Watch, if the Monarchs can match their defensive intensity, they could find themselves sitting back in the Number 1 spot before too long.
4. Graz Grizzlies (4-1):
Last Week: 3 (-1)
The Graz didn’t perform as well as they had hoped to against the mighty Black Watch last week. Still, despite the loss, the Grizzlies’ 4-1 start keeps them at the top of the rookie class and firmly entrenched in the Top 4 of Alpha. If they can sneak by the slumping Blitz and the fast rising Aviators over the next two weeks, the Grizzlies should find themselves with a very favorable record heading into their Week 9 match up with the WuJax.
5. Paris Dream Bolts (4-1):
Last Week: 5
The Dream Bolts had a field day against the Dragons as they trounced Dresden 51-20. QB Jo Moxon tossed 3 TDs and 354 yards while WR Air Moss had 6 catchs for 3 TDs and 197 yards. Gaudy offensive numbers are nothing new for Paris, but it’s the defensive side of the ball that needs to shape up. After surrendering 20 points in the second quarter and 362 yards in total on the day, Paris’s defense was less than so-so. With a brutal stretch forthcoming against the Monarchs, Philharmonic, Black Watch and Blitz, the Dream Bolts will simply need to play better defense if they hope to stay in the top half of the rankings.
6. Woodridge Lumberjacks (3-2):
Last Week: 6
Woodridge stays in their spot despite their lopsided win over AWC. At 3-2 I can’t move them any higher at the moment. Still, the 47-10 win was as routine as it gets for the Lumberjacks who racked up 456 yards while holding the Wrecking Crew to 260. With the Nighthawks, Who Dats and Aggies up next, the Lumberjacks should be able to get to 6-2 before dancing with the Grizzlies in Week 9.
7. Toulouse Aviators (3-2):
Last Week: 9 (+2)
Toulouse gets a two-point bump thanks to the Philharmonic and Blitz’s one sided losses in Week 5. Factor in the Aviator’s 51-10 point thumping delivered to the hapless Who Dats and the 7th spot seems like the perfect spot for this Rookie club. Winners of their last three, the Aviators have still yet to beat anyone of substance. That might change this week as they’ll tangle with the suddenly hot Aggies, fresh off their thrashing of the Blitz. It should be a good one.
8. Fightin’ Texas Aggies (2-3):
Last Week: 11 (+3)
Speaking of that thrashing, the 52-17 point victory over Berlin was perhaps the week’s second most surprising score. The Aggies’ offense was brilliant, compiling 648 very balanced yards while only punting two times the entire game. Defensively, Texas held Berlin to 275 yards while forcing 7 punts and 2 turnovers. The win was a refreshing change of pace after losing 3 straight games to the top half of the conference. The one-sided nature of the win might signal that I had been too harsh on the Aggies, dropping them all the way to 11th. They’ll have a chance to move up even farther next week if they can knock off the Aviators.
9. Paris Philharmonic (2-3):
Last Week: 8 (-1)
I went back and forth on whether Paris or Berlin deserved the 9th spot, and even though both teams had horrible Week 5 losses and even though Paris has one less win than Berlin, I opted for the Philharmonic in this spot. Why? I’m not really sure. It just felt right. I’m playing a hunch here … All three of Paris’s losses have been to top teams in WEPL – something that doesn’t bode well for Week 6 when they host the unbeaten E-City Mercs. Paris is going to have to start beating some of the top teams before they fall too far out of the playoff picture. There’s no time like the present.
10. Berlin Blitzkrieg (3-2):
Last Week: 7 (-3)
Berlin looked bad against the Aggies last week. Bad. How bad you ask? Their normally stout defense missed 16 tackles in the game. It’s hard to win with defense like that. It’s even more difficult when you’re offense is so ineffective you’re forced to punt 7 times to your opponent’s 2. Berlin doesn’t have time to feel sorry for themselves though as the Grizzlies come into town this week. At 3-2 it’s too early to call it a must win game, but it just may be that … from a morale perspective at least.
11. Dinas Red Bandits (1-4):
Last Week: 12 (+1)
And now the fun part of the rankings. The 5 1-4 teams in Alpha are so jumbled and confusing that it makes it a real guessing game when it comes to ranking them appropriately. The Red Bandits lost last week to the Mercs, but they also beat the Warriors earlier this year placing them at the top of the 1-4 class. Things should get more clear when the Red Bandits host the Wrecking Crew in Week 6.
12. Aberdeen Wrecking Crew (1-4):
Last Week: 14 (+2)
The Wrecking Crew moves up despite getting pounded in Week 5 thanks to Stuttgart’s slide and the lack of other options. With a big game upcoming against the Bandits, the Wrecking Crew are on the verge of sliding permanently into the basement of Alpha. A loss will make it very difficult for Aberdeen to break the .500 mark for the year and might even put them in danger of relegation while a win might give them enough juice to squeeze out a late season run.
13. Wembley Warriors (1-4):
Last Week: 15 (+2)
With just 36 seconds left on the clock Wembley K Vincent Smith drilled a 34 yard FG to ice the Warriors first win of the season and end a 4 game losing streak. More impressively, the win came at the expense of the Stuttgart Nighthawks, a team many expected to return once again to the playoffs in Season 7. Even better news for the Warriors is their Week 6 opponent is the winless Who Dats, meaning the Warriors could soon find themselves at 2-4.
14. Stuttgart Nighthawks (1-4):
Last Week: 10 (-4)
Last week I said that playoff teams find ways to win against the teams they’re supposed to beat. That was the case as the Nighthawks headed into their game against the Warriors. We already discussed how that one turned out. While a 4 point drop for losing might be a bit harsh, I’m not sure where else to slot the Warriors. Losing to a winless team, even by a point, is never a good thing. It’s even worse for the Nighthawks who’s lone win against the Blitz suddenly looks less impressive after Berlin stumbled in Week 5. With the WuJax up next, things won’t get any easier in Week 6.
15. Dresden Dragons (1-4):
Last Week: 14 (-1)
Dresden’s tour of misery continues this week as they’ll head into Black Watch for the 5th straight game against a Top 5 team. Ouch. If last week’s shellacking at the hands of the Dream Bolts is any precursor to how the Black Watch game will unfold I might have to advise people not to watch this one.
16. Lake Charles Who Dats (0-5):
Last Week: 16
I thought Lake Charles might be able to pull off an upset last week and boy was I wrong. The Aviators made the Who Dats look inept in every phase of the game. If the Who Dats have any hope of avoiding relegation this year they will need to knock off the Warriors to keep pace with the rest of the 1-4 clubs. If they fall too far behind they will surely find themselves in AAA next season.
Week 6 Previews and Predictions:
Alpha Conference:
Dresden Dragons (1-4) at Black Watch (5-0):
In what will be a tune up game for Black Watch before they meet the Monarchs, the Dragons will have to play their absolute best game of the season just to stay competitive in this one. Sadly, we haven’t seen enough from Dresden this year to warrant any optimism here.
Black Watch win 52-10
E-City Mercenaries (5-0) at Paris Philharmonic (2-3):
This one looked a lot more interesting until the Monarchs smoked Paris last week. Now, we’re left with a lot of questions about Paris and whether or not they can really be as competitive as they were last year against top teams. E-City on the other hand has come into their own as a (old)new powerhouse. I still believe Paris can make a game of this, just not as much as I believed it last week.
E-City remains unbeaten 34-23
Graz Grizzlies (4-1) at Berlin Blitzkrieg (3-2):
This is yet another game that, as of last week, promised to be a close GOTW caliber game. However, after Berlin’s abysmal showing against Texas, I’m not quite so confident. This is a big game for both clubs as the Graz want to avoid extending their losing streak to 2 games while Berlin wants to beat up on someone to show they still have the ability to make a serious run in Alpha. As talented as Berlin is, I have to give the edge here to the Grizzlies and their nifty game planning.
Grizzlies win 42-27
Stuttgart Nighthawks (1-4) at Woodridge Lumberjacks (3-2):
The rematch of Season 6 playoff teams has lost its luster as the Nighthawks have slipped into an other-worldly funk. The Nighthawks just aren’t playing well enough to put up much of a fight in this one.
WuJax win 38-13
Fightin’ Texas Aggies (2-3) at Toulouse Aviators (3-2):
Fresh from their big upset win over Berlin, the Aggies seem to have found their offense once again making this a great match-up. The Aviators are on the cusp of being permanent fixtures in the Top 8 but they’ll have to dispatch the Aggies to get there. The Aggies have a history of winning these sorts of games and I’m going to ride them with the upset this week.
Aggies win 43-32
Aberdeen Wrecking Crew (1-4) at Dinas Red Bandits (1-4):
This game could well determine who is the best of the slew of 1-4 teams in Alpha while simultaneously helping the winner secure another season in WEPL. The loser however will be in a struggle the rest of the season when it comes to the tie breakers that determine which teams are relegated and which remain. Big enough stakes for you? Both teams are capable of winning this, but I’m going to ride the more talented roster in this one.
Aberdeen gets the win 38-37
Lake Charles Who Dats (0-5) at Wembley Warriors (1-4):
Lake Charles hasn’t looked good all season long while the Warriors are still giddy after their first win. That should be enough momentum to carry the Warriors past the floundering Who Dats.
Warriors win 40-21
Zeta Conference:
Grass Root Divots (3-2) at Black Forest Mercenaries (5-0):
A win against the unbeaten BFM would be just the ticket to erase any lingering doubts Zeta has about the Divots ability to compete with the big boys in the Conference. For the Mercs it’s a chance to get to 6-0 and move one step closer to locking up a top 2 seed. I expect the Divots to put up a fight but it won’t be enough this week.
BFM gets the win 27-23
Lyon Dynasty (3-2) at Berlin Ballers (4-1):
This match-up had a lot more luster to it two weeks ago when both teams were unbeaten and on cruise control. However, over the past two weeks the Ballers have been upset by the Roughnecks and the Dynasty have dropped both of their past two games by wide margins. Lyon needs to get the ship back on track in a hurry but I don’t think they can do it this week. The Ballers will be out for blood and would steamroll anyone that stands in front of them. Unfortunately for the Dynasty they drew the short straw this week.
Berlin wins 55-13
Edinburgh Black Knights (2-3) at Korb Destroyers (3-1):
How do you follow up a statement like the one Korb made against the Pimps last week? By picking on one of Zeta’s rookie clubs, that’s how. While the Black Knights have shown fight, including giving BFM all they could handle and more last week, Korb is playing on a different planet these days. That’s not good news for the Knights.
Korb wins 45-17
Rivals Mainboard Pimps (2-3) at Stockholm Meatballs (3-2):
It seems that every time these two teams play it turns into a shootout that is won on the very last possession of the game. Over the past few games the Meatballs have gotten the better coin flip in the sim, leaving a bad taste in the Pimps’ mouths. This time around the Pimps are desperate for a win after their debacle against Korb last week. They have the talent to beat Stockholm who has been playing better lately. With both teams having doubters questioning their staying power in the Top 8, this should be a statement game for both clubs. Since I’m biased … I can’t pick this one any other way.
Stockholm wins 43-38
Rotterdam Roughnecks (3-2) at PPP Longnecks (3-2):
Both the Roughnecks and Longnecks are hot right now, making this a great game. The Roughnecks are fresh off of two consecutive upsets while the Longnecks have rebounded from two ugly losses at the start of the year. These teams have always played each other well and I expect this one to be closer than some might think. As much as PPP has come on lately, the Roughnecks are just playing too well right now for the Longnecks to stop ‘em.
Roughnecks win another shootout 45-39
Paris Musketeers (1-4) at London Rippers (3-2):
The Rippers have quietly been knocking off the lower half of Zeta over the past two weeks and they get their third straight match-up against the cellar dwellers as Paris rolls into town. Paris is a dangerous team for the Rippers to underestimate as they are always capable of giving anyone a game. However, the Musketeers have been unable to find their stride making them decided dogs in this one. Still, I need to call an upset and I think this might be the spot.
Paris pulls out a shocker 27-26
Ice & Fire (2-3) at Antwerp Annihilators (2-3):
Despite both team’s 2-3 records, this game promises to be an exciting one. Both teams are fighting their way out of the bottom half of Zeta but will need a win this week to do so. While Ice & Fire is fresh off their 118 point pounding of Multiple, Antwerp is fresh from their upset win over the Divots. I am going to go with the Annihilators in this one.
Twerps win 33-20
Games Of The Week:
London Monarchs (4-1) at Paris Dream Bolts (4-1):
This should be a dynamite game as two of the best offenses in WEPL go head to head in a game that is sure to give defensive purists ulcers. While Paris sports the top ranked offensive unit in the league, the Monarchs are right behind with the 4th ranked unit. However London’s defense is a lowly 21st while Paris is a middling 15. They say defense wins these sorts of games, so I’m going with the upset here.
Paris edges the Monarchs 43-39
Sevilla Naranjas (0-5) at Multiple Scorgasms (0-5):
An odd choice for GOTW honors, I know, but apt nonetheless. In what we’re dubbing the Basement Bowl, both winless teams will duke it out to see which one is truly worst of the bunch. Sevilla is on the verge of their losing streak hitting 13 games while the rebuilding Scorgasms are trying to get past giving up 118 points to Ice & Fire. This should be an interesting game at the very least and I figured it was both team’s only shot to get a GOTW this entire season.
Sevilla snaps their losing streak 44-20
Week 6
Power Rankings: Week 6
Zeta Conference:
1. Black Forest Mercenaries (5-0):
Last Week: 2 (+1)
Black Forest gets the top spot for their first time in their WEPL careers and they should send a bottle of bubbly (or whatever hootch Corey is drinking these days) to Rotterdam as a thank you. While BFM is the sole remaining unbeaten in Zeta, it wasn’t easy as the rookie Black Knights gave the Mercs all they could handle in Week 5. With The Divots, Ice & Fire, Sevilla and Musketeers all up next, BFM has a real shot at getting to 9-0 before tangling with the Roughnecks.
2. Korb Destroyers (4-1):
Last Week: 3 (+1)
I’m not sure what was more shocking in Week 5, the Ballers’ loss or the 57-0 drubbing Korb dealt to the Pimps. Korb racked up 524 yards of offense while holding the normally explosive Pimps to a lowly 232 yards while forcing 7 punts and 2 INTs. The win was nearly enough for me to give Korb the top spot, but since BFM is undefeated (and beat Korb in Week 3) it would be monumentally unfair to do so. Still, even with that Week 3 loss, Korb just might be the best team in Zeta.
3. Rotterdam Roughnecks (3-2):
Last Week: 4 (+1)
So much for Corey’s fears of the Roughnecks missing the playoffs, eh? In two consecutive weeks the Roughnecks have knocked off two of Zeta’s unbeatens. Forgoing any pretense of a rushing game (despite Gabriel Knights’ 4 short yardage TD runs), Rotterdam took to the air as Corey Smith threw the ball 60 times. A 14 point lead after 3 quarters was enough to survive a 28 point onslaught from the Ballers in the final stanza. The Roughnecks pulled off the biggest upset of the year in WEPL but can’t celebrate too hard as two tough games are up next.
4. Berlin Ballers (4-1)
Last Week: 1 (-3)
This is a very harsh drop for the Ballers whom I still consider to be the top team in WEPL. However, I had no choice but to slot them 4. They can’t have the top slot, and I can’t put them at 2 after Korb’s dominating performance against the Pimps and while I could put them at 3 above the Roughnecks it didn’t seem fair for the Roughnecks to pull off the year’s biggest upset and NOT move up at least one spot. So here the Ballers sit. I don’t expect them to stay here for long as they have all winnable games until their Week 12 match up with BFM. A good old fashion winning streak will put the Rotterdam game in the distant rearview mirror.
5. Stockholm Meatballs (3-2):
Last Week: 6 (+1)
Stockholm bounced back in a big way against the slumping Dynasty in Week 5 as they controlled the clock and the tempo. Stockholm won the time of possession 42 minutes to just 17 while piling up 546 yards of balanced offense including 269 yards on the ground – this despite throwing 3 INTs, two of which were returned for TDs. Defensively Stockholm nabbed 3 INTs of their own and held the normally potent Lyon offense to just 186 total yards. With the Pimps and Ballers up next, the win was just what the doctor ordered to prevent a prolonged losing streak.
6. Grass Root Divots (3-2):
Last Week: 5 (-1)
The Divots came up just short against Antwerp as they lost an OT thriller in Week 5. The 30-27 loss was just the Divots’ second of the year but puts them on a slippery slope in the coming weeks. Thanks to the Dynasty and Pimps’ losses, the Divots don’t slip too far in the rankings, but with BFM and Korb in back-to-back weeks, the Divots will need to play their best games of the season to remain in the Top 8.
7. PPP Longnecks (3-2):
Last Week: 9 (+2)
Despite being outgained against the Musketeers 412 to 322 the Longnecks got their third straight workman-like victory of the year. For the second straight week the Longnecks found success on the ground as HB Jimmy Slasher averaged 6.7 yards on the ground and found the endzone once. While PPP has enjoyed the past three weeks against the lesser teams of Zeta, starting in Week 6 the Longnecks will find the sledding tougher as the begin a four game stretch against Rotterdam, Lyon, Berlin and Stockholm.
8. Rivals Mainboard Pimps (2-3):
Last Week 7 (-1)
The last time the Pimps were shut out was September 1, 2008 – which was Season 4 in a scrimmage against the Hitmen! That should put into harsh perspective how shocking the goose egg that Korb hung on the Pimps really was. So why, might you ask, do I still have the Pimps in the Top 8? Well, really it’s more of a comment on the rest of the Conference. I’ll cut the Pimps some slack for the Korb debacle as the Destroyers have been making teams look foolish for seasons. Add in their other 2 losses came at the hands of the undefeated BFM and the 4-1 Monarchs and that 2-3 record doesn’t look quite so bad. Still, with a big game against Stockholm up next, the Pimps will need to bounce back quick to avoid falling into a 2-4 hole.
9. Lyon Dynasty (3-2):
Last Week: 8 (-1)
Two straight losses have dropped the Dynasty out of the Top 8 and it won’t get any easier this week as they have to face off against the Ballers in Week 6. Despite the funk that the Dynasty find themselves in currently, they are still a dangerous team that is one big win away from turning it around. If they can put up a good fight against Berlin they’ll set themselves up for a nice run against the Longnecks, Rippers and Scorgasms.
10. London Rippers (3-2):
Last Week 13 (+3)
For the second straight week the Rippers found themselves on the right side of a narrow scoreboard. The 27-23 point win over the winless Naranjas was not the Rippers most impressive game as they were outgained 380 to 304. If it wasn’t for two timely INTs by the Rippers’ D, this game could have swung the other way. And if my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle. A win is a win and at 3-2 the Rippers are very much in the playoff picture even if they are at the bottom of the 3-2 team totem pole in the Rankigns.
11. Edinburgh Black Knighs (2-3):
Last Week 11
The Black Knights keep their spot in the rankings thanks to a solid effort against the unbeaten Mercs in Week 5. The Black Knights actually put up better stats than Black Forest as they gained 330 yards of offense to BFM’s 300. However the Black Knights lost the turnover battle 2-0 which ultimately cost them a chance at the upset. Things won’t get easier this week as the red-hot Korb Destroyers are up next.
12. Antwerp Annihilators (2-3)
Last Week: 7 (-6)
Antwerp’s thrilling OT victory over GRD might be just the spark that this team needs to turn it around. The schedule over the next few weeks certainly favors them as they will meet the Ice & Fire, Naranjas and Paris over the next three weeks. A 3-0 run over that stretch would not only put the Annihilators over the .500 mark but put them firmly in the playoff hunt for the final stretch of the season.
13. Ice & Fire (2-3):
Last Week: 14 (+1)
While it wasn’t an upset to see Ice & Fire beat Multiple in Week 5, it was certainly surprising to see Ice & Fire put up 118 points – the first triple digit score of the season. 118 points is a great way to put the skids on a 3 game losing streak and should set up a dynamite game with the Antwerp Annihilators in Week 6. With Black Forest and Korb up after Antwerp, Ice & Fire can’t afford to let this one get away.
14. Paris Musketeers (1-4):
Last Week: 12 (-2)
Paris put up a good fight against PPP but ultimately fell short, losing their third game in a row. The slow start to a season is nothing new for the Musketeers so they shouldn’t panic. However with the Rippers, Scorgasms and Annihilators up next, Paris has to find a way to go 2-1 over that stretch to keep themselves from slipping totally into the basement of Zeta.
15. Sevilla Naranjas (0-5):
Last Week: 15
Sevilla took the Rippers to the limit in Week 6 but ultimately lost their 12th straight game. The good news is the Scorgasms are up next. The bad news is BFM are on deck after that. Sevilla is running out of time to get their acts together and anything less than a dominating victory over the rebuilding Scorgasms will cast serious doubts about their ability to stave off relegation this year.
16. Multiple Scorgasms (0-5):
Last Week: 16
118 points. Ouch. With the winless Naranjas on the docket next, this might be Multiple’s best and only shot to get a W this year.
Alpha Conference:
1. Black Watch (5-0):
Last Week: 1
Black Watch took care of business against the unbeaten Graz Grizzlies in Week 5, showing the top of the rookie class just how far they have to climb before competing with the crust of the Conference. The 42-28 point victory was a one sided affair as the Grizzlies racked up 493 and forced 3 Grizzlie turnovers to secure the win. With the slumping Dragons up next, Black Watch should be able to cruise to 6-0 before their showdown with the Monarchs in Week 7.
2. E-City Mercenaries (5-0):
Last Week: 2
E-City put up a quick 17 points on the Red Bandits in the 1st quarter of their game and then clicked it into cruise control as they coasted to a 26-10 victory. The Merc’s offense was dominating in their game, more than doubling the Red Bandit’s output. A big game against the struggling Philharmonic looms – but if the Mercs can get by with a win, they are set up nicely until their Week 11 match-up with the Grizzlies.
3. London Monarchs (4-1):
Last Week: 4 (+1)
London jumped back up a spot after their 45-14 point thumping of the Philharmonics. In what was supposed to be a tight, hard fought game, the Monarchs unleashed their best defensive effort of the season as they held Paris to just 207 yards while racking up 9 sacks, 14 hurries and forcing 9 punts. The one sided blowout keeps the Monarchs firmly in the top 3 of Alpha – if not higher while it casts more doubts about Paris’s slow start to the year. With back-to-back brutal games up next against the Dream Bolts and Black Watch, if the Monarchs can match their defensive intensity, they could find themselves sitting back in the Number 1 spot before too long.
4. Graz Grizzlies (4-1):
Last Week: 3 (-1)
The Graz didn’t perform as well as they had hoped to against the mighty Black Watch last week. Still, despite the loss, the Grizzlies’ 4-1 start keeps them at the top of the rookie class and firmly entrenched in the Top 4 of Alpha. If they can sneak by the slumping Blitz and the fast rising Aviators over the next two weeks, the Grizzlies should find themselves with a very favorable record heading into their Week 9 match up with the WuJax.
5. Paris Dream Bolts (4-1):
Last Week: 5
The Dream Bolts had a field day against the Dragons as they trounced Dresden 51-20. QB Jo Moxon tossed 3 TDs and 354 yards while WR Air Moss had 6 catchs for 3 TDs and 197 yards. Gaudy offensive numbers are nothing new for Paris, but it’s the defensive side of the ball that needs to shape up. After surrendering 20 points in the second quarter and 362 yards in total on the day, Paris’s defense was less than so-so. With a brutal stretch forthcoming against the Monarchs, Philharmonic, Black Watch and Blitz, the Dream Bolts will simply need to play better defense if they hope to stay in the top half of the rankings.
6. Woodridge Lumberjacks (3-2):
Last Week: 6
Woodridge stays in their spot despite their lopsided win over AWC. At 3-2 I can’t move them any higher at the moment. Still, the 47-10 win was as routine as it gets for the Lumberjacks who racked up 456 yards while holding the Wrecking Crew to 260. With the Nighthawks, Who Dats and Aggies up next, the Lumberjacks should be able to get to 6-2 before dancing with the Grizzlies in Week 9.
7. Toulouse Aviators (3-2):
Last Week: 9 (+2)
Toulouse gets a two-point bump thanks to the Philharmonic and Blitz’s one sided losses in Week 5. Factor in the Aviator’s 51-10 point thumping delivered to the hapless Who Dats and the 7th spot seems like the perfect spot for this Rookie club. Winners of their last three, the Aviators have still yet to beat anyone of substance. That might change this week as they’ll tangle with the suddenly hot Aggies, fresh off their thrashing of the Blitz. It should be a good one.
8. Fightin’ Texas Aggies (2-3):
Last Week: 11 (+3)
Speaking of that thrashing, the 52-17 point victory over Berlin was perhaps the week’s second most surprising score. The Aggies’ offense was brilliant, compiling 648 very balanced yards while only punting two times the entire game. Defensively, Texas held Berlin to 275 yards while forcing 7 punts and 2 turnovers. The win was a refreshing change of pace after losing 3 straight games to the top half of the conference. The one-sided nature of the win might signal that I had been too harsh on the Aggies, dropping them all the way to 11th. They’ll have a chance to move up even farther next week if they can knock off the Aviators.
9. Paris Philharmonic (2-3):
Last Week: 8 (-1)
I went back and forth on whether Paris or Berlin deserved the 9th spot, and even though both teams had horrible Week 5 losses and even though Paris has one less win than Berlin, I opted for the Philharmonic in this spot. Why? I’m not really sure. It just felt right. I’m playing a hunch here … All three of Paris’s losses have been to top teams in WEPL – something that doesn’t bode well for Week 6 when they host the unbeaten E-City Mercs. Paris is going to have to start beating some of the top teams before they fall too far out of the playoff picture. There’s no time like the present.
10. Berlin Blitzkrieg (3-2):
Last Week: 7 (-3)
Berlin looked bad against the Aggies last week. Bad. How bad you ask? Their normally stout defense missed 16 tackles in the game. It’s hard to win with defense like that. It’s even more difficult when you’re offense is so ineffective you’re forced to punt 7 times to your opponent’s 2. Berlin doesn’t have time to feel sorry for themselves though as the Grizzlies come into town this week. At 3-2 it’s too early to call it a must win game, but it just may be that … from a morale perspective at least.
11. Dinas Red Bandits (1-4):
Last Week: 12 (+1)
And now the fun part of the rankings. The 5 1-4 teams in Alpha are so jumbled and confusing that it makes it a real guessing game when it comes to ranking them appropriately. The Red Bandits lost last week to the Mercs, but they also beat the Warriors earlier this year placing them at the top of the 1-4 class. Things should get more clear when the Red Bandits host the Wrecking Crew in Week 6.
12. Aberdeen Wrecking Crew (1-4):
Last Week: 14 (+2)
The Wrecking Crew moves up despite getting pounded in Week 5 thanks to Stuttgart’s slide and the lack of other options. With a big game upcoming against the Bandits, the Wrecking Crew are on the verge of sliding permanently into the basement of Alpha. A loss will make it very difficult for Aberdeen to break the .500 mark for the year and might even put them in danger of relegation while a win might give them enough juice to squeeze out a late season run.
13. Wembley Warriors (1-4):
Last Week: 15 (+2)
With just 36 seconds left on the clock Wembley K Vincent Smith drilled a 34 yard FG to ice the Warriors first win of the season and end a 4 game losing streak. More impressively, the win came at the expense of the Stuttgart Nighthawks, a team many expected to return once again to the playoffs in Season 7. Even better news for the Warriors is their Week 6 opponent is the winless Who Dats, meaning the Warriors could soon find themselves at 2-4.
14. Stuttgart Nighthawks (1-4):
Last Week: 10 (-4)
Last week I said that playoff teams find ways to win against the teams they’re supposed to beat. That was the case as the Nighthawks headed into their game against the Warriors. We already discussed how that one turned out. While a 4 point drop for losing might be a bit harsh, I’m not sure where else to slot the Warriors. Losing to a winless team, even by a point, is never a good thing. It’s even worse for the Nighthawks who’s lone win against the Blitz suddenly looks less impressive after Berlin stumbled in Week 5. With the WuJax up next, things won’t get any easier in Week 6.
15. Dresden Dragons (1-4):
Last Week: 14 (-1)
Dresden’s tour of misery continues this week as they’ll head into Black Watch for the 5th straight game against a Top 5 team. Ouch. If last week’s shellacking at the hands of the Dream Bolts is any precursor to how the Black Watch game will unfold I might have to advise people not to watch this one.
16. Lake Charles Who Dats (0-5):
Last Week: 16
I thought Lake Charles might be able to pull off an upset last week and boy was I wrong. The Aviators made the Who Dats look inept in every phase of the game. If the Who Dats have any hope of avoiding relegation this year they will need to knock off the Warriors to keep pace with the rest of the 1-4 clubs. If they fall too far behind they will surely find themselves in AAA next season.
Week 6 Previews and Predictions:
Alpha Conference:
Dresden Dragons (1-4) at Black Watch (5-0):
In what will be a tune up game for Black Watch before they meet the Monarchs, the Dragons will have to play their absolute best game of the season just to stay competitive in this one. Sadly, we haven’t seen enough from Dresden this year to warrant any optimism here.
Black Watch win 52-10
E-City Mercenaries (5-0) at Paris Philharmonic (2-3):
This one looked a lot more interesting until the Monarchs smoked Paris last week. Now, we’re left with a lot of questions about Paris and whether or not they can really be as competitive as they were last year against top teams. E-City on the other hand has come into their own as a (old)new powerhouse. I still believe Paris can make a game of this, just not as much as I believed it last week.
E-City remains unbeaten 34-23
Graz Grizzlies (4-1) at Berlin Blitzkrieg (3-2):
This is yet another game that, as of last week, promised to be a close GOTW caliber game. However, after Berlin’s abysmal showing against Texas, I’m not quite so confident. This is a big game for both clubs as the Graz want to avoid extending their losing streak to 2 games while Berlin wants to beat up on someone to show they still have the ability to make a serious run in Alpha. As talented as Berlin is, I have to give the edge here to the Grizzlies and their nifty game planning.
Grizzlies win 42-27
Stuttgart Nighthawks (1-4) at Woodridge Lumberjacks (3-2):
The rematch of Season 6 playoff teams has lost its luster as the Nighthawks have slipped into an other-worldly funk. The Nighthawks just aren’t playing well enough to put up much of a fight in this one.
WuJax win 38-13
Fightin’ Texas Aggies (2-3) at Toulouse Aviators (3-2):
Fresh from their big upset win over Berlin, the Aggies seem to have found their offense once again making this a great match-up. The Aviators are on the cusp of being permanent fixtures in the Top 8 but they’ll have to dispatch the Aggies to get there. The Aggies have a history of winning these sorts of games and I’m going to ride them with the upset this week.
Aggies win 43-32
Aberdeen Wrecking Crew (1-4) at Dinas Red Bandits (1-4):
This game could well determine who is the best of the slew of 1-4 teams in Alpha while simultaneously helping the winner secure another season in WEPL. The loser however will be in a struggle the rest of the season when it comes to the tie breakers that determine which teams are relegated and which remain. Big enough stakes for you? Both teams are capable of winning this, but I’m going to ride the more talented roster in this one.
Aberdeen gets the win 38-37
Lake Charles Who Dats (0-5) at Wembley Warriors (1-4):
Lake Charles hasn’t looked good all season long while the Warriors are still giddy after their first win. That should be enough momentum to carry the Warriors past the floundering Who Dats.
Warriors win 40-21
Zeta Conference:
Grass Root Divots (3-2) at Black Forest Mercenaries (5-0):
A win against the unbeaten BFM would be just the ticket to erase any lingering doubts Zeta has about the Divots ability to compete with the big boys in the Conference. For the Mercs it’s a chance to get to 6-0 and move one step closer to locking up a top 2 seed. I expect the Divots to put up a fight but it won’t be enough this week.
BFM gets the win 27-23
Lyon Dynasty (3-2) at Berlin Ballers (4-1):
This match-up had a lot more luster to it two weeks ago when both teams were unbeaten and on cruise control. However, over the past two weeks the Ballers have been upset by the Roughnecks and the Dynasty have dropped both of their past two games by wide margins. Lyon needs to get the ship back on track in a hurry but I don’t think they can do it this week. The Ballers will be out for blood and would steamroll anyone that stands in front of them. Unfortunately for the Dynasty they drew the short straw this week.
Berlin wins 55-13
Edinburgh Black Knights (2-3) at Korb Destroyers (3-1):
How do you follow up a statement like the one Korb made against the Pimps last week? By picking on one of Zeta’s rookie clubs, that’s how. While the Black Knights have shown fight, including giving BFM all they could handle and more last week, Korb is playing on a different planet these days. That’s not good news for the Knights.
Korb wins 45-17
Rivals Mainboard Pimps (2-3) at Stockholm Meatballs (3-2):
It seems that every time these two teams play it turns into a shootout that is won on the very last possession of the game. Over the past few games the Meatballs have gotten the better coin flip in the sim, leaving a bad taste in the Pimps’ mouths. This time around the Pimps are desperate for a win after their debacle against Korb last week. They have the talent to beat Stockholm who has been playing better lately. With both teams having doubters questioning their staying power in the Top 8, this should be a statement game for both clubs. Since I’m biased … I can’t pick this one any other way.
Stockholm wins 43-38
Rotterdam Roughnecks (3-2) at PPP Longnecks (3-2):
Both the Roughnecks and Longnecks are hot right now, making this a great game. The Roughnecks are fresh off of two consecutive upsets while the Longnecks have rebounded from two ugly losses at the start of the year. These teams have always played each other well and I expect this one to be closer than some might think. As much as PPP has come on lately, the Roughnecks are just playing too well right now for the Longnecks to stop ‘em.
Roughnecks win another shootout 45-39
Paris Musketeers (1-4) at London Rippers (3-2):
The Rippers have quietly been knocking off the lower half of Zeta over the past two weeks and they get their third straight match-up against the cellar dwellers as Paris rolls into town. Paris is a dangerous team for the Rippers to underestimate as they are always capable of giving anyone a game. However, the Musketeers have been unable to find their stride making them decided dogs in this one. Still, I need to call an upset and I think this might be the spot.
Paris pulls out a shocker 27-26
Ice & Fire (2-3) at Antwerp Annihilators (2-3):
Despite both team’s 2-3 records, this game promises to be an exciting one. Both teams are fighting their way out of the bottom half of Zeta but will need a win this week to do so. While Ice & Fire is fresh off their 118 point pounding of Multiple, Antwerp is fresh from their upset win over the Divots. I am going to go with the Annihilators in this one.
Twerps win 33-20
Games Of The Week:
London Monarchs (4-1) at Paris Dream Bolts (4-1):
This should be a dynamite game as two of the best offenses in WEPL go head to head in a game that is sure to give defensive purists ulcers. While Paris sports the top ranked offensive unit in the league, the Monarchs are right behind with the 4th ranked unit. However London’s defense is a lowly 21st while Paris is a middling 15. They say defense wins these sorts of games, so I’m going with the upset here.
Paris edges the Monarchs 43-39
Sevilla Naranjas (0-5) at Multiple Scorgasms (0-5):
An odd choice for GOTW honors, I know, but apt nonetheless. In what we’re dubbing the Basement Bowl, both winless teams will duke it out to see which one is truly worst of the bunch. Sevilla is on the verge of their losing streak hitting 13 games while the rebuilding Scorgasms are trying to get past giving up 118 points to Ice & Fire. This should be an interesting game at the very least and I figured it was both team’s only shot to get a GOTW this entire season.
Sevilla snaps their losing streak 44-20
