*The crowd of reporters and cameramen, and fans are talking amongst themselves in the conference room of the United Center, in Chicago, Illinois, where free-agent wide receiver Shenanigans O’Leary has chosen to hold a press conference to announce the team that he will be signing with for next season. In the front of the room stands a podium placed upon a stage. The spokesmen for all five teams that have been selected as finalists for O’Leary’s services: the Montevideo Titans, the Arctic Bay Yetis, the Waikikamukau Wop-Wops, the San Juan Ridgerunners, and the Texas Roughnecks, have front-row seats, as they eagerly await for the announcement that their team has been selected as O’Leary’s next destination. However, only one of them will be right…
The agent of O’Leary, Robert Jones, dressed in a double-breasted grey business suit and a blue striped tie, walks out from the curtain and heads to the podium to deliver the opening remarks. The crowd hushes as he begins to speak.*
Jones: “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen of the press. Thank you for taking time to attend this evening. Tonight, my client, Shenanigans O’Leary, will be announcing the team he has decided to play for this coming season. He has received numerous offers, many of those from teams that were hard to turn down, but after much talking and deliberation, he narrowed his choices down to five teams, whose representatives are here right now. After even more deliberation, Mr. O’Leary has found what he believes to be the best team to fit his needs. To announce that team, here he is, Mr. Shenanigans O’Leary!”
*Applause emanates from the crowd as Shenanigans O’Leary, dressed in jeans, a white polo shirt, and sunglasses, walks out from behind the curtain. He shakes Jones’ hand and assumes his spot behind the microphone.*
O’Leary: “ Thank you, Chicago, for allowing me to host this press conference. Go White Sox!
*Half of the crowd cheers and half of the crowd boos as O’Leary pumps his fist.*
O’Leary: “Wow, tough crowd. Fine. Go Bears.”
*The whole room cheers*
O’Leary: “That’s better. Anyway, as my agent, Mr. Jones already stated, I am here to announce the team that I will be signing with. This process was in no way easy…in fact, if I had to pick a word, it would be ‘painful’. I say that because every single team here has a great future, and to turn down four of these teams that have almost everything and pursued me aggressively is extremely hard to do. This offseason has been really busy, and after a long period of taking offers and responding to every team I possibly could, I’ll just be glad to finally sign that contract and get on that field.
“Before I announce the team, though, does the press have any questions for me?”
*A few hands pop up. O’Leary points at one of them, and she stands up to deliver her question*
Female Reporter: “Mr. O’Leary, what happened at Georgia that made you decide to leave?
*O’Leary takes a sip from the glass of water beside him, and after swallowing, responds…*
O’Leary: “Well, a few things. One, I was real close friends with the former owner of the team, Mr. Jay, and when he sold the team, I thought I would strike out and try to see what the market held for me. Two, I didn’t feel content being a back-up anymore. I wanted to contribute more than I was for the Rhinos. I know I have the capabilities to be able to contribute on a bigger scale, it’s just the matter of finding a team that would give me that chance. I believe I have found that team today.”
*Another reporter sticks his hand in the air.*
O’Leary: “You, right there.”
Male Reporter: “What special capabilities do you bring to a team?”
O’Leary: “I bring speed, agility, and good hands to any WR corps. I also can look a CB straight in the eye and say, “You ain’t stoppin’ me.” I am also a leader, as the team that signs me will soon find out. I bring almost everything a team could want in a receiver to the table.
Well, my agent tells me that the time has come to make the announcement. First, before I announce my selection, I have to say that every team that made it this far into the running is a great team, and will be great, even without me in the fold. However, the one team that I have chosen has just signed themselves an amazing, dependable wide receiver. I enjoyed talking with every single team, and this was a decision that I agonized over for days. Finally, after considering every single aspect of every offer, I made my decision. With that, Mr. Jones, may I have that box you’re holding?”
*Mr. Jones walks up the stairs to the stage and hands O’Leary the box in his hands. O’Leary pulls open the box and unwraps the wrapping. *
O’Leary: “In this box, is the jersey of the team I will be signing with. I will be proud to wear this jersey next season, and hopefully beyond. The team that I have signed for Season 4 is…”
*He pulls out a folded blue jersey. He unfolds it and displays it back first, with “O’ Leary” and the number “86” on it. Finally he turns it around, and on the front of the jersey is the name “WAIKIKAMUKAU” on it.*
O’Leary: “…The Waikikamukau Wop-Wops! Will the spokesperson for Waikikamukau please step on the stage?”
*The spokesman, owner vzone, steps on the stage and approaches O’Leary and his agent. They exchange a solid handshake, and a grinning vzone stands behind O’Leary as he gets more pictures taken. O’Leary pulls the jersey over his polo shirt and poses for more pictures.*
O’Leary: “Thanks for coming, everyone, and I have to say, I’m proud to be a Wop-Wop!”
The agent of O’Leary, Robert Jones, dressed in a double-breasted grey business suit and a blue striped tie, walks out from the curtain and heads to the podium to deliver the opening remarks. The crowd hushes as he begins to speak.*
Jones: “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen of the press. Thank you for taking time to attend this evening. Tonight, my client, Shenanigans O’Leary, will be announcing the team he has decided to play for this coming season. He has received numerous offers, many of those from teams that were hard to turn down, but after much talking and deliberation, he narrowed his choices down to five teams, whose representatives are here right now. After even more deliberation, Mr. O’Leary has found what he believes to be the best team to fit his needs. To announce that team, here he is, Mr. Shenanigans O’Leary!”
*Applause emanates from the crowd as Shenanigans O’Leary, dressed in jeans, a white polo shirt, and sunglasses, walks out from behind the curtain. He shakes Jones’ hand and assumes his spot behind the microphone.*
O’Leary: “ Thank you, Chicago, for allowing me to host this press conference. Go White Sox!
*Half of the crowd cheers and half of the crowd boos as O’Leary pumps his fist.*
O’Leary: “Wow, tough crowd. Fine. Go Bears.”
*The whole room cheers*
O’Leary: “That’s better. Anyway, as my agent, Mr. Jones already stated, I am here to announce the team that I will be signing with. This process was in no way easy…in fact, if I had to pick a word, it would be ‘painful’. I say that because every single team here has a great future, and to turn down four of these teams that have almost everything and pursued me aggressively is extremely hard to do. This offseason has been really busy, and after a long period of taking offers and responding to every team I possibly could, I’ll just be glad to finally sign that contract and get on that field.
“Before I announce the team, though, does the press have any questions for me?”
*A few hands pop up. O’Leary points at one of them, and she stands up to deliver her question*
Female Reporter: “Mr. O’Leary, what happened at Georgia that made you decide to leave?
*O’Leary takes a sip from the glass of water beside him, and after swallowing, responds…*
O’Leary: “Well, a few things. One, I was real close friends with the former owner of the team, Mr. Jay, and when he sold the team, I thought I would strike out and try to see what the market held for me. Two, I didn’t feel content being a back-up anymore. I wanted to contribute more than I was for the Rhinos. I know I have the capabilities to be able to contribute on a bigger scale, it’s just the matter of finding a team that would give me that chance. I believe I have found that team today.”
*Another reporter sticks his hand in the air.*
O’Leary: “You, right there.”
Male Reporter: “What special capabilities do you bring to a team?”
O’Leary: “I bring speed, agility, and good hands to any WR corps. I also can look a CB straight in the eye and say, “You ain’t stoppin’ me.” I am also a leader, as the team that signs me will soon find out. I bring almost everything a team could want in a receiver to the table.
Well, my agent tells me that the time has come to make the announcement. First, before I announce my selection, I have to say that every team that made it this far into the running is a great team, and will be great, even without me in the fold. However, the one team that I have chosen has just signed themselves an amazing, dependable wide receiver. I enjoyed talking with every single team, and this was a decision that I agonized over for days. Finally, after considering every single aspect of every offer, I made my decision. With that, Mr. Jones, may I have that box you’re holding?”
*Mr. Jones walks up the stairs to the stage and hands O’Leary the box in his hands. O’Leary pulls open the box and unwraps the wrapping. *
O’Leary: “In this box, is the jersey of the team I will be signing with. I will be proud to wear this jersey next season, and hopefully beyond. The team that I have signed for Season 4 is…”
*He pulls out a folded blue jersey. He unfolds it and displays it back first, with “O’ Leary” and the number “86” on it. Finally he turns it around, and on the front of the jersey is the name “WAIKIKAMUKAU” on it.*
O’Leary: “…The Waikikamukau Wop-Wops! Will the spokesperson for Waikikamukau please step on the stage?”
*The spokesman, owner vzone, steps on the stage and approaches O’Leary and his agent. They exchange a solid handshake, and a grinning vzone stands behind O’Leary as he gets more pictures taken. O’Leary pulls the jersey over his polo shirt and poses for more pictures.*
O’Leary: “Thanks for coming, everyone, and I have to say, I’m proud to be a Wop-Wop!”
Last edited Jul 22, 2008 13:31:09
