Groove: Good evening, good evening everyone! It’s great to see you all. We’ve got a great show for you tonight, I can’t even begin to express that…
As always we’re joined by Les Claypool and the fantastic Blue Banana Trio!
How are you this evening, Les?
Les: Doing fantastic, Groove. It’s great to see you tonight.
Groove: Well, thank you, Les. You’re looking as odd as ever.
There have been some startling breakthroughs in the scientific realm lately, have you been keeping up on this? Listen to this: "Scientists have discovered a Chinese herb that cures alcoholism in hamsters. They're hoping that it will cut down on the number of accidents they have on that little wheel."
Wow Les, what do you think about that? That’s amazing!
Les: Soon we’re going to see MADHW…you know…”Mothers Against Drunk Hamster Wheeling”…get it?
Groove: Moving on…
In other news, according to 'The Washington Post,' newly retired Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan has been offered eight million dollars to write a book. Finally -- a book that captures the romance and excitement of an old man talking about interest rates.
Everyone, we have a great show for you tonight, comedian Daniel Tosh is here, our favorite Ron Burgundy is here, and also musical guests Wilco! We have to take a break, we’ll be right back!
Groove: Welcome back – please join me in welcoming our first guest tonight. You know him as the voice, and hair, of beautiful San Diego. Please put your hands together for the talented and handsome, RON BURGUNDY!!!
<applause>
Groove: Welcome to the show, Ron.
Ron Burgundy: It’s great to be here, Groove.
Groove: Now Ron, we all know you from Channel 4, down in San Diego, but what most of us did not know is that you are also a free safety, in fact a professional football player, and go under the alias of Dale Hunter. Now, you play for the Northwest Nighthawks. What else can you tell us about the man behind the perfect hair?
Ron Burgundy: Not much to tell that isn't already known. I love my scotch, my dog and little blond sideline reporters. I would much prefer to never have to make a tackle in a game because as you know, my highball and my smoke are constant companions to my uniform.
Groove: What is your preferred liquor and cigar?
Ron Burgundy: I am a Glenfiddich man...I recently had the pleasure of acquiring six bottles of a 1937 Glenfiddich on sale at a Hong Kong auction...exquisite. As for my cigars....5 1/2 inch, 42 ring gauge La Corona. Nothing quite like it.
Groove: Delicious - do you ever stoop to such banalities as Glenlivet or Glen Moray?
Ron Burgundy: I tried those once. They left me in a glass case of emotion....they were a bad choice.
Groove: Tell us what that was like.
Ron Burgundy: I think I would describe it as feeling almost like it did after that first round playoff loss last year...empty and tasteless. You expect greatness and then fall flat.
Groove: Agreed - last year was painful. How did you cope with that pain? What helped you through that?
Ron Burgundy: I just try not to think about it. I did go out and get in a rumble or two with Wes Mantooth to blow off some steam...my buddy Brick is still in hiding after one of those tussles...that man is craaazy. But overall...I just worked on the guns a bit. Gotta be in shape for this year.
Groove: You are looking quite splendid, I must say. Any new lady types on the scene for Mr. Burgundy?
Ron Burgundy: You know me...I am a man of the people. After I broke it off with Veronica I just decided that this swinger was not meant to be tamed...right now I have 3 ladies waiting on my call. There is Tiffany, Melanie and Brittany...if the name doesn't end with that "eee" then they aren't for me...if you know what I mean.
Groove: That sounds like quite a life! I guess it's Pleasure Town, population 4!!!
Ron Burgundy: Don't act like your not impressed!
Groove: So tell us about the night life you have going - any new hot spots up here in the Northwest?
Ron Burgundy: I just fly in for the games. I could never leave San Diego...There is just way too much rain up there....you know what that does to you hair?
Groove: True, true. Is there anything else exciting we should know about? Tell us some interesting stuff about San Diego.
Ron Burgundy: Classiest city in the world. The weather is always sunny. The drinks are always cold...and the women, well the women are always hotter than Great Odin's Raven.
The offseason was outstanding and the homelife has been great...but glad to be off to a great start this year too. I mean, look at these guns...I am ready to stand out there on the field and beautify the place for the rest of the team.
Groove: I'm not going to lie, Mr. Burgundy, we need you more than ever. You are our last line of sexiness on the field, and we thank you for that.
Groove: Do you have anything you want to say before we turn off the cameras?
Ron Burgundy: As always, Stay Classy.
Ron Burgundy: WHO SPILLED MY DRINK!!!?!?!?
Groove: Awesome! I cannot even tell you how much of an honor this has been.
Groove: I have one thing to ask though...
Groove: I feel foolish...
Groove: But...
Groove: Can I hug you?
Ron Burgundy: Just don't touch the hair....
Groove: Ron, thanks so much for being here, we’ll be rooting for you and the Nighthawks! Don’t go away, Daniel Tosh is up next!
Ron Burgundy: SERIOUSLY, WHO SPILLED MY DRINK!!!?!?!?
As always we’re joined by Les Claypool and the fantastic Blue Banana Trio!
How are you this evening, Les?
Les: Doing fantastic, Groove. It’s great to see you tonight.
Groove: Well, thank you, Les. You’re looking as odd as ever.
There have been some startling breakthroughs in the scientific realm lately, have you been keeping up on this? Listen to this: "Scientists have discovered a Chinese herb that cures alcoholism in hamsters. They're hoping that it will cut down on the number of accidents they have on that little wheel."
Wow Les, what do you think about that? That’s amazing!
Les: Soon we’re going to see MADHW…you know…”Mothers Against Drunk Hamster Wheeling”…get it?
Groove: Moving on…
In other news, according to 'The Washington Post,' newly retired Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan has been offered eight million dollars to write a book. Finally -- a book that captures the romance and excitement of an old man talking about interest rates.
Everyone, we have a great show for you tonight, comedian Daniel Tosh is here, our favorite Ron Burgundy is here, and also musical guests Wilco! We have to take a break, we’ll be right back!
Groove: Welcome back – please join me in welcoming our first guest tonight. You know him as the voice, and hair, of beautiful San Diego. Please put your hands together for the talented and handsome, RON BURGUNDY!!!
<applause>
Groove: Welcome to the show, Ron.
Ron Burgundy: It’s great to be here, Groove.
Groove: Now Ron, we all know you from Channel 4, down in San Diego, but what most of us did not know is that you are also a free safety, in fact a professional football player, and go under the alias of Dale Hunter. Now, you play for the Northwest Nighthawks. What else can you tell us about the man behind the perfect hair?
Ron Burgundy: Not much to tell that isn't already known. I love my scotch, my dog and little blond sideline reporters. I would much prefer to never have to make a tackle in a game because as you know, my highball and my smoke are constant companions to my uniform.
Groove: What is your preferred liquor and cigar?
Ron Burgundy: I am a Glenfiddich man...I recently had the pleasure of acquiring six bottles of a 1937 Glenfiddich on sale at a Hong Kong auction...exquisite. As for my cigars....5 1/2 inch, 42 ring gauge La Corona. Nothing quite like it.
Groove: Delicious - do you ever stoop to such banalities as Glenlivet or Glen Moray?
Ron Burgundy: I tried those once. They left me in a glass case of emotion....they were a bad choice.
Groove: Tell us what that was like.
Ron Burgundy: I think I would describe it as feeling almost like it did after that first round playoff loss last year...empty and tasteless. You expect greatness and then fall flat.
Groove: Agreed - last year was painful. How did you cope with that pain? What helped you through that?
Ron Burgundy: I just try not to think about it. I did go out and get in a rumble or two with Wes Mantooth to blow off some steam...my buddy Brick is still in hiding after one of those tussles...that man is craaazy. But overall...I just worked on the guns a bit. Gotta be in shape for this year.
Groove: You are looking quite splendid, I must say. Any new lady types on the scene for Mr. Burgundy?
Ron Burgundy: You know me...I am a man of the people. After I broke it off with Veronica I just decided that this swinger was not meant to be tamed...right now I have 3 ladies waiting on my call. There is Tiffany, Melanie and Brittany...if the name doesn't end with that "eee" then they aren't for me...if you know what I mean.
Groove: That sounds like quite a life! I guess it's Pleasure Town, population 4!!!
Ron Burgundy: Don't act like your not impressed!
Groove: So tell us about the night life you have going - any new hot spots up here in the Northwest?
Ron Burgundy: I just fly in for the games. I could never leave San Diego...There is just way too much rain up there....you know what that does to you hair?
Groove: True, true. Is there anything else exciting we should know about? Tell us some interesting stuff about San Diego.
Ron Burgundy: Classiest city in the world. The weather is always sunny. The drinks are always cold...and the women, well the women are always hotter than Great Odin's Raven.
The offseason was outstanding and the homelife has been great...but glad to be off to a great start this year too. I mean, look at these guns...I am ready to stand out there on the field and beautify the place for the rest of the team.
Groove: I'm not going to lie, Mr. Burgundy, we need you more than ever. You are our last line of sexiness on the field, and we thank you for that.
Groove: Do you have anything you want to say before we turn off the cameras?
Ron Burgundy: As always, Stay Classy.
Ron Burgundy: WHO SPILLED MY DRINK!!!?!?!?
Groove: Awesome! I cannot even tell you how much of an honor this has been.
Groove: I have one thing to ask though...
Groove: I feel foolish...
Groove: But...
Groove: Can I hug you?
Ron Burgundy: Just don't touch the hair....
Groove: Ron, thanks so much for being here, we’ll be rooting for you and the Nighthawks! Don’t go away, Daniel Tosh is up next!
Ron Burgundy: SERIOUSLY, WHO SPILLED MY DRINK!!!?!?!?
