http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c3d7QgZr7g
Attention all EE Pro chuckleheads!
Listen very carefully to the next announcement, it could just save your life!
IT’S THE MOTHER PLUCKIN’ PLAYOFFS, CHUCKLEHEADS!
So if you haven’t received your invitation yet…………….YOU AREN’T INVITED!!
But never fear, faithful chuckleheads, the Sport’s Page is here and you can keep up on all your favorite teams with your good old buddy SA and maybe a few of the giels from the Hot Chick Lounge.
PLAYOFF BOUND!
Well here they are! The official season 14 EE Pro Post Season Participants!
They fought their way through 16 weeks of pure hell and agony!
They anguished over AI settings!
They went mental while watching colored dots running through play after play with their bloodshot eyes, their piss stained pants, their breath wreaking of chocolate bars and cigarettes staying up into the wee hours of the morning with a pot of coffee, a shot of whiskey and a blunt of Jamaican red as their only friends!
They went many sleepless, pressure filled nights studying and scouting teams for that all important win!
And they did all of this only to find themselves in a playoff tournament where their entire season rests on one single game per round.
Man, that was well worth it all, wasn’t it?
Here they are, the 16 playoff teams of season 14 that will be fighting for the Pimp Cup and the EE Pro crown!
ALPHA
1) Short Bus Allstars
2) Sofia Spiders
3) Arkadak Arsenal
4) Minsk Ninjas
5) Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps
6) Old School
7) Buda Pests
8) Sarajevo Black Hand
ZETA
1) Stewart Ballers
2) Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
3) C-Town Hoodlums
4) Vilnius Velociraptors
5) Chernobyl Aftermath
6) Nolaha K&B Spider Pigs
7) Buffalo WarZone
8) Portland Niners
SALUTE!!
The Rest of EE Pro!
If the Rest of EE Pro had a theme song, this would be it…………….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV_toedW2L0
……….and it isn’t a pleasant smell by any means.
These teams were probably the last ones picked in gym class. *shakes head* Nerds.
So sit back and get ready for some exciting EE Pro playoff action so you can get a sense of what a real team plays like.
Oh, btw…………………thanks for playing.
ALPHA
1) Ares Assassins
2) Stirling Four Horsemen
3) Ukraine Freight Train
4) Munich ManiAx
5) Alexandrovsk Conquerors
6) Vladivostok Voodoo
7) Hollywood TimberWolves
8) Saratov Catrades
ZETA
1) Rome Raiders
2) Jefferson City Bucks
3) Belgrade Blaze
4) Russian Revolution
5) Hellas Hoplites
6) Odessa Mojo
7) Bucharest Warriors
8) The Cape Town Cubibles
EE Pro Celebrity Gossip
Where does your player stand in the stat ranks?
Well if your guy was any dam good then he would be on this list right here!
The Sport’s Page proudly presents the third seasonal SA Awards! Yay!
The “That’s Aunt Jemima’s Little Pancake Eating Fool" Award –
Magnus Bergström TE, Old School – 501 Pancakes
The Ruby Slippers Award –
El Guapo K, Arkadak Arsenal – 43 FG’s
The XP Xtra-Specialist Trophy –
Napolean Dyn-O-Mite K, Portland Niners – 297 XP’s
The “Sack Like Strahan” Trophy –
Azusa Itagaki LB, Short Bus Allstars – 104 sacks
The Hurry-cane Award –
Bruiser DeSilva LB, Arkadak Arsenal - 93 hurries
The Interceptor Collector Title –
Ree Charound CB, Short Bus Allstars – 10 INT’s
The “I Can Totally Tackle” Trophy –
Sharky Grant CB, Portland Niners – 218 tackles
The Fumble Forcer Enforcer Title –
Sharky Grant CB, Portland Niners – 79 forced fumbles
The “More Yards Than Emmitt” Award –
Velocitor Starr HB, Sofia Spiders – rushing yards
The “I Can Score Like A Mad Rushing Whore” Award –
Kogel Michalek HB, Old School – rushing TD’s
The Sir Stickum Trophy –
The Cuddler WR, C-Town Hoodlums – receiving yards
The “Hold Me Closer Tiny End Zone Dancer” Title –
Stikky Fingers WR, Sarajevo Black Hand – receiving TD’s
The Passing Fancy Title –
Big Ben Bomber QB, Vilnius Velociraptors – yards passing
The Stealth Bomber Award –
E1i Manning QB, Sarajevo Black Hand – TD Passes
The EE Pro MVP’s –
Offense – The “Be Offensive! Be, Be Offensive!” Title
- Alpha – Velocitor Starr HB, Sofia Spiders
- Zeta - "Runnin' for" Miles Patrick HB, Jefferson City Bucks
Defense – The “All in All You’re Just another Brick in the Wall” Award
- Alpha – Jim Marshall* DE, Sofia Spiders
- Zeta – Richard Seemour DE, Portland Niners
Special Teams – The “That Other Guy on the Field” Award
- Alpha – Diggity Dog CB, Ukraine Freight Train
- Zeta – Chandelier LaGuardia CB, Stewart Ballers
Congrats to all you chuckle heads that won an award!
SALUTE!!
***SA’s Player of the Week***
And the POW goes to………………
C-Town QB, Ryan "#1 pick" Leaf!
After the Hoodlums fell behind early in the third quarter, 13-10, the C-Town QB took control of things and threw two long TD passes (55, 49 yards) to take the lead and put the game away for the Hoodlums and helped his team get the win over Stewart and get the #1 ranking in all of Zeta!
So here’s to you, Ryan "#1 pick" Leaf .………………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/GuinnessBeer.jpg
SALUTE!!
GET YOUR NUTS UP FOR THE PLAYOFFS!!
It's playoff time and it's time to get pumped up for the gala event!
So, without further bullshit............................
Originally posted by SA’s 8-Track cassette player
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBG98ksQAg4 ….(EE Pro style!)
Well it’s Friday night
And the post season’s begun
So yo Bort let’s get simming some GLB fun
It could be a title for Short Bus here in GLB,
Or will the Black Hand be the surprise of season 14?
The Niners are ready for all the Hoodlum’s might!
The Pests and Spiders are gonna’ get it on tonight!
Are you ready?!
Are you ready?!
ARE YOU READY, READY?!
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!
The huge, week long party!
Hey, just rockin' around with SA,
Ready to get the playoffs started!
We got the teams on the field and we turned up the lights
All the rowdy teams are ready for the playoffs tonight!
Now everyone’s watching EE Pro
Arkadak and Old School both think they can go
The Ballers and Spider Pigs are ready to sim
Will the Aftermath or the Velociraptor’s get that last minute win?
The Blitzkrieg Balls will kick your ass in the air,
It’s the WarZone ready to play as if they don’t care!
The Ninjas are coming and they are ready to fight,
But the Sea Wasps will turn it up with the Pimp Cup in sight!
Everybody's a GLB fan!
Hey, it's the EE Pro party man!
It’s Zeta versus Alpha, man!
So let’s get this shit started!
16 weeks have led up to tonight
Only one team will win the Pimp Cup title fight!
…………The lyrics have been changed to protect the innocent!
No playoffs may start without it, so…………….
Gentlemen!
Start your……………………
.........………LET’S DO THIS SHIT!!!
****ALPHA CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS****
*#1 Short Bus Allstars (16-0) LW1 – Last week you crushed the Black Hand, 85-6, I expect nothing less from the #1 team of Alpha.
But you never know, that #1 team round 1 jinx could pop it’s ugly head up at any moment.
So don’t fuck it up!
Next Opponent: #8 Sarajevo Black Hand (9-7)
*#2 Sofia Spiders (14-2) LW2 – Do not take any chances here. You guys got off with a 28-24 win in the first meeting with these guys and that is a little too close for comfort.
The Pests are like a night of drinking really cheap beer, if you drink too much of it you will get really bad beer farts in the morning.
Translation: The longer you let them stay in the game, they better chance they will beat you.
Next Opponent: #7 Buda Pests (10-5)
*#3 Arkadak Arsenal (12-4) LW3 – I think if the Arsenal was an ice cream flavor they would be “Pralines and Kick Your Nuts Down Your Throat”.
It goes great with cake.
Next Opponent: #6 Old School (11-4)
*#4 Minsk Ninjas (12-4) LW4 – Your first game against the Sea wasps went great, just do what you did last time, win.
It’s like that old saying says: No need to put on a condom if there’s an abortion clinic down the street.
Next Opponent: #5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (12-4)
*#5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (12-4) LW5 – 21-24.
That was the score of the first meeting with the Ninjas, which you lost.
Time to show these Ninjas who the queen bee is around this place……….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/3744521065_67da28cd92_b.jpg
Next Opponent: at #4 Minsk Ninjas (12-4)
*#6 Old School (11-5) LW6 – You Old Schooler’s will have to do better than 8 points to beat the Arsenal this time.
But you did get a safety in that game, so here is a safety dance for you guys…….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcOZ6xFxJqg
Next Opponent: at #3 Arkadak Arsenal (12-4)
*#7 Buda Pests (11-5) LW7 – You guys came close to beating the Spiders in week 13, now it’s time to finish the job in Round 1.
And to get you over the hump, here are some positive words to help you from Stuart Smalley.
You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and dog gon’it, people like you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvgMIerTXl4
Next Opponent: at #2 Sofia Spiders (14-2)
*#8 Sarajevo Black Hand (9-7) LW8 – Well guys, 85-6 was last week’s score. Hopefully you can do better, but let’s face it, anything short of a miracle spells out a loss for you guys.
That’s the way the balls smack her ass when banging doggie style.
Next Opponent: at #1 Short Bus Allstars (16-0)
The Rest of Alpha
#9 Ares Assassins (7-8) LW9
#10 Stirling Four Horsemen (6-9) LW10
#11 Ukraine Freight Train (5-10) LW11
#12 Munich ManiAx (4-11) LW12
#13 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (3-12) LW13
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (3-12) LW14
#15 Hollywood TimberWolves (1-14) LW15
#16 Saratov Catrades (0-15) LW16
*****ROUND 1 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my Alpha prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 5-3 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 5-3 Week 5: 5-3 Week 6: 7-1 Week 7: 7-1 Week 8: 6-2 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 8-0
Week 14: 7-1 Week 15: 8-0 Week 16: 8-0
Overall: 90-22
SA’s GOW: 9-5
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 5-9
SA Playoffs:
8-ball Playoffs:
#8 Sarajevo Black Hand (9-7) at #1 Short Bus Allstars (16-0) =
SA’s Pick: Short Bus Allstars
8-ball’s Pick: Sarajevo Black Hand
#7 Buda Pests (11-5) at #2 Sofia Spiders (14-2) = Sofia Spiders
SA’s Pick: Sofia Spiders
8-ball’s Pick: Buda Pests
#6 Old School (11-5) at #3 Arkadak Arsenal (12-4) = Arkadak Arsenal
SA’s Pick: Arkadak Arsenal
8-ball’s Pick: Old School
#5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (12-4) at #4 Minsk Ninjas (12-4) = Minsk Ninjas
SA’s Pick: Minsk Ninjas
8-ball’s Pick: Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps
Good luck to all the Alpha teams in Round 1!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS****
*#1 C-Town Hoodlums (15-1) LW3 – Well C-Town, you did it. You beat the Ballers in the last game of the season and you guys are the new #1 team in Zeta.
Salute!
Now you gotta’ show the Niners who the real daddy of Zeta is.
Treat these guys like you would your prom date, slip a roofie in her punch and go to town on that bitch!
Next Opponent: #8 Portland Niners (9-7)
*#2 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (15-1) LW2 – Buffalo WarZone?
More like Buffalo Wild Wings. Eat up fellas’.
Next Opponent: #7 Buffalo WarZone (9-7)
*#3 Stewart Ballers (15-1) LW1 – It was probably good to get that loss out of the way in the regular season. Now to start an undefeated post season win streak.
Next Opponent: #6 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (10-6)
*#4 Vilnius Velociraptors (11-5) LW4 – The Aftermath beat you guys once already, but just remember what you guys did to those people in Jurassic Park.
Lunch.
Next Opponent: #5 Chernobyl Aftermath (10-6)
*#5 Chernobyl Aftermath (10-6) LW5 – In Round 1 you guys need to remind these out of date, over grown lizards why their kind are now extinct. It’s because they have those tiny little hands that can’t hold a dam thing, unlike us dominant humans.
Next Opponent: at #4 Vilnius Velociraptors (11-5)
*#6 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (10-6) LW6 – If the Spider Pigs pull off the upset win here, well let’s just say I’ll go another round with Nick………..
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2004/09Nicole/Nicole-01.jpg
Next Opponent: at #3 Stewart Ballers (15-1)
*#7 Buffalo WarZone (9-7) LW8 – This is it! Round 1 is here. Up next is Stryden, the Ball Blizers.
Turn the tables and blitz their balls. Better still, spike those bad balls!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-azgWTq3_dU
Next Opponent: at #2 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (15-1)
*#8 Portland Niners (9-7) LW9 – The last time you guys faced the Hoodlums, you were outright raped by these ruffians.
I think this time you guys should do the raping. So pull the pants down and show them the REAL reason why they call you “Niners”.
Next Opponent: at #1 C-Town Hoodlums (15-1)
The Rest of Zeta
#9 Rome Raiders (8-8) LW11 – Well Rome, it has finally come to this, the Hot Chick Lounge. Great run at a playoff spot, but like my ex always told me “I just came up a little too short”…………..that bitch.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2009/06Amanda/Amanda-04.jpg
#10 Belgrade Blaze (8-8) LW7 – Finally! You Blazers are all mine!
Mwuahahahahahaha!!!!
No go get drunk and laid in the Hot Chick Lounge.
See, it’s not so bad.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2009/06Aubrey/Aubrey-04.jpg
#11 Jefferson City Bucks (7-9) LW10 – Sorry Bucks, but that’s all she wrote this season. The fat lady has started singing and the girls in the Lounge are waiting with legs wide open.
Enjoy.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2009/07Morgan/Morgan-03.jpg
#12 Russian Revolution (3-13) LW12
#13 Hellas Hoplites (3-13) LW13
#14 Odessa Mojo (2-13) LW14
#15 Bucharest Warriors (2-13) LW15
#16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-16) LW16
*****ROUND 1 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here’s my Zeta prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 7-1 Week 3: 7-1 Week 4: 6-2 Week 5: 7-1 Week 6: 6-2 Week 7: 7-1 week 8: 6-2 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 5-3
Week 14: 7-1 Week 15: 7-1 Week 16: 6-2
Overall: 89-23
SA’s GOW: 10-4
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 6-8
SA Playoffs:
8-ball Playoffs:
#8 Portland Niners (9-7) at #1 C-Town Hoodlums (15-1) =
SA’s Pick: C-Town Hoodlums
8-ball’s Pick: Portland Niners
#5 Chernobyl Aftermath (10-6) at #4 Vilnius Velociraptors (11-5) =
SA’s Pick: Vilnius Velociraptors
8-ball’s Pick: Chernobyl Aftermath
#7 Buffalo WarZone (9-7) at #2 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (15-1) =
SA’s Pick: Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
8-ball’s Pick: Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
#6 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (10-6) at #3 Stewart Ballers (15-1) =
SA’s Pick: Stewart Ballers
8-ball’s Pick: Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs
Good luck to all the Zeta teams in Round 1!
Attention all EE Pro chuckleheads!
Listen very carefully to the next announcement, it could just save your life!
IT’S THE MOTHER PLUCKIN’ PLAYOFFS, CHUCKLEHEADS!
So if you haven’t received your invitation yet…………….YOU AREN’T INVITED!!
But never fear, faithful chuckleheads, the Sport’s Page is here and you can keep up on all your favorite teams with your good old buddy SA and maybe a few of the giels from the Hot Chick Lounge.
PLAYOFF BOUND!
Well here they are! The official season 14 EE Pro Post Season Participants!
They fought their way through 16 weeks of pure hell and agony!
They anguished over AI settings!
They went mental while watching colored dots running through play after play with their bloodshot eyes, their piss stained pants, their breath wreaking of chocolate bars and cigarettes staying up into the wee hours of the morning with a pot of coffee, a shot of whiskey and a blunt of Jamaican red as their only friends!
They went many sleepless, pressure filled nights studying and scouting teams for that all important win!
And they did all of this only to find themselves in a playoff tournament where their entire season rests on one single game per round.
Man, that was well worth it all, wasn’t it?
Here they are, the 16 playoff teams of season 14 that will be fighting for the Pimp Cup and the EE Pro crown!
ALPHA
1) Short Bus Allstars
2) Sofia Spiders
3) Arkadak Arsenal
4) Minsk Ninjas
5) Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps
6) Old School
7) Buda Pests
8) Sarajevo Black Hand
ZETA
1) Stewart Ballers
2) Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
3) C-Town Hoodlums
4) Vilnius Velociraptors
5) Chernobyl Aftermath
6) Nolaha K&B Spider Pigs
7) Buffalo WarZone
8) Portland Niners
SALUTE!!
The Rest of EE Pro!
If the Rest of EE Pro had a theme song, this would be it…………….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV_toedW2L0
……….and it isn’t a pleasant smell by any means.
These teams were probably the last ones picked in gym class. *shakes head* Nerds.
So sit back and get ready for some exciting EE Pro playoff action so you can get a sense of what a real team plays like.
Oh, btw…………………thanks for playing.
ALPHA
1) Ares Assassins
2) Stirling Four Horsemen
3) Ukraine Freight Train
4) Munich ManiAx
5) Alexandrovsk Conquerors
6) Vladivostok Voodoo
7) Hollywood TimberWolves
8) Saratov Catrades
ZETA
1) Rome Raiders
2) Jefferson City Bucks
3) Belgrade Blaze
4) Russian Revolution
5) Hellas Hoplites
6) Odessa Mojo
7) Bucharest Warriors
8) The Cape Town Cubibles
EE Pro Celebrity Gossip
Where does your player stand in the stat ranks?
Well if your guy was any dam good then he would be on this list right here!
The Sport’s Page proudly presents the third seasonal SA Awards! Yay!
The “That’s Aunt Jemima’s Little Pancake Eating Fool" Award –
Magnus Bergström TE, Old School – 501 Pancakes
The Ruby Slippers Award –
El Guapo K, Arkadak Arsenal – 43 FG’s
The XP Xtra-Specialist Trophy –
Napolean Dyn-O-Mite K, Portland Niners – 297 XP’s
The “Sack Like Strahan” Trophy –
Azusa Itagaki LB, Short Bus Allstars – 104 sacks
The Hurry-cane Award –
Bruiser DeSilva LB, Arkadak Arsenal - 93 hurries
The Interceptor Collector Title –
Ree Charound CB, Short Bus Allstars – 10 INT’s
The “I Can Totally Tackle” Trophy –
Sharky Grant CB, Portland Niners – 218 tackles
The Fumble Forcer Enforcer Title –
Sharky Grant CB, Portland Niners – 79 forced fumbles
The “More Yards Than Emmitt” Award –
Velocitor Starr HB, Sofia Spiders – rushing yards
The “I Can Score Like A Mad Rushing Whore” Award –
Kogel Michalek HB, Old School – rushing TD’s
The Sir Stickum Trophy –
The Cuddler WR, C-Town Hoodlums – receiving yards
The “Hold Me Closer Tiny End Zone Dancer” Title –
Stikky Fingers WR, Sarajevo Black Hand – receiving TD’s
The Passing Fancy Title –
Big Ben Bomber QB, Vilnius Velociraptors – yards passing
The Stealth Bomber Award –
E1i Manning QB, Sarajevo Black Hand – TD Passes
The EE Pro MVP’s –
Offense – The “Be Offensive! Be, Be Offensive!” Title
- Alpha – Velocitor Starr HB, Sofia Spiders
- Zeta - "Runnin' for" Miles Patrick HB, Jefferson City Bucks
Defense – The “All in All You’re Just another Brick in the Wall” Award
- Alpha – Jim Marshall* DE, Sofia Spiders
- Zeta – Richard Seemour DE, Portland Niners
Special Teams – The “That Other Guy on the Field” Award
- Alpha – Diggity Dog CB, Ukraine Freight Train
- Zeta – Chandelier LaGuardia CB, Stewart Ballers
Congrats to all you chuckle heads that won an award!
SALUTE!!
***SA’s Player of the Week***
And the POW goes to………………
C-Town QB, Ryan "#1 pick" Leaf!
After the Hoodlums fell behind early in the third quarter, 13-10, the C-Town QB took control of things and threw two long TD passes (55, 49 yards) to take the lead and put the game away for the Hoodlums and helped his team get the win over Stewart and get the #1 ranking in all of Zeta!
So here’s to you, Ryan "#1 pick" Leaf .………………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/GuinnessBeer.jpg
SALUTE!!
GET YOUR NUTS UP FOR THE PLAYOFFS!!
It's playoff time and it's time to get pumped up for the gala event!
So, without further bullshit............................
Originally posted by SA’s 8-Track cassette player
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBG98ksQAg4 ….(EE Pro style!)
Well it’s Friday night
And the post season’s begun
So yo Bort let’s get simming some GLB fun
It could be a title for Short Bus here in GLB,
Or will the Black Hand be the surprise of season 14?
The Niners are ready for all the Hoodlum’s might!
The Pests and Spiders are gonna’ get it on tonight!
Are you ready?!
Are you ready?!
ARE YOU READY, READY?!
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!
The huge, week long party!
Hey, just rockin' around with SA,
Ready to get the playoffs started!
We got the teams on the field and we turned up the lights
All the rowdy teams are ready for the playoffs tonight!
Now everyone’s watching EE Pro
Arkadak and Old School both think they can go
The Ballers and Spider Pigs are ready to sim
Will the Aftermath or the Velociraptor’s get that last minute win?
The Blitzkrieg Balls will kick your ass in the air,
It’s the WarZone ready to play as if they don’t care!
The Ninjas are coming and they are ready to fight,
But the Sea Wasps will turn it up with the Pimp Cup in sight!
Everybody's a GLB fan!
Hey, it's the EE Pro party man!
It’s Zeta versus Alpha, man!
So let’s get this shit started!
16 weeks have led up to tonight
Only one team will win the Pimp Cup title fight!
…………The lyrics have been changed to protect the innocent!
No playoffs may start without it, so…………….
Gentlemen!
Start your……………………
.........………LET’S DO THIS SHIT!!!
****ALPHA CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS****
*#1 Short Bus Allstars (16-0) LW1 – Last week you crushed the Black Hand, 85-6, I expect nothing less from the #1 team of Alpha.
But you never know, that #1 team round 1 jinx could pop it’s ugly head up at any moment.
So don’t fuck it up!
Next Opponent: #8 Sarajevo Black Hand (9-7)
*#2 Sofia Spiders (14-2) LW2 – Do not take any chances here. You guys got off with a 28-24 win in the first meeting with these guys and that is a little too close for comfort.
The Pests are like a night of drinking really cheap beer, if you drink too much of it you will get really bad beer farts in the morning.
Translation: The longer you let them stay in the game, they better chance they will beat you.
Next Opponent: #7 Buda Pests (10-5)
*#3 Arkadak Arsenal (12-4) LW3 – I think if the Arsenal was an ice cream flavor they would be “Pralines and Kick Your Nuts Down Your Throat”.
It goes great with cake.
Next Opponent: #6 Old School (11-4)
*#4 Minsk Ninjas (12-4) LW4 – Your first game against the Sea wasps went great, just do what you did last time, win.
It’s like that old saying says: No need to put on a condom if there’s an abortion clinic down the street.
Next Opponent: #5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (12-4)
*#5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (12-4) LW5 – 21-24.
That was the score of the first meeting with the Ninjas, which you lost.
Time to show these Ninjas who the queen bee is around this place……….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/3744521065_67da28cd92_b.jpg
Next Opponent: at #4 Minsk Ninjas (12-4)
*#6 Old School (11-5) LW6 – You Old Schooler’s will have to do better than 8 points to beat the Arsenal this time.
But you did get a safety in that game, so here is a safety dance for you guys…….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcOZ6xFxJqg
Next Opponent: at #3 Arkadak Arsenal (12-4)
*#7 Buda Pests (11-5) LW7 – You guys came close to beating the Spiders in week 13, now it’s time to finish the job in Round 1.
And to get you over the hump, here are some positive words to help you from Stuart Smalley.
You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and dog gon’it, people like you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvgMIerTXl4
Next Opponent: at #2 Sofia Spiders (14-2)
*#8 Sarajevo Black Hand (9-7) LW8 – Well guys, 85-6 was last week’s score. Hopefully you can do better, but let’s face it, anything short of a miracle spells out a loss for you guys.
That’s the way the balls smack her ass when banging doggie style.
Next Opponent: at #1 Short Bus Allstars (16-0)
The Rest of Alpha
#9 Ares Assassins (7-8) LW9
#10 Stirling Four Horsemen (6-9) LW10
#11 Ukraine Freight Train (5-10) LW11
#12 Munich ManiAx (4-11) LW12
#13 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (3-12) LW13
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (3-12) LW14
#15 Hollywood TimberWolves (1-14) LW15
#16 Saratov Catrades (0-15) LW16
*****ROUND 1 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my Alpha prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 5-3 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 5-3 Week 5: 5-3 Week 6: 7-1 Week 7: 7-1 Week 8: 6-2 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 8-0
Week 14: 7-1 Week 15: 8-0 Week 16: 8-0
Overall: 90-22
SA’s GOW: 9-5
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 5-9
SA Playoffs:
8-ball Playoffs:
#8 Sarajevo Black Hand (9-7) at #1 Short Bus Allstars (16-0) =
SA’s Pick: Short Bus Allstars
8-ball’s Pick: Sarajevo Black Hand
#7 Buda Pests (11-5) at #2 Sofia Spiders (14-2) = Sofia Spiders
SA’s Pick: Sofia Spiders
8-ball’s Pick: Buda Pests
#6 Old School (11-5) at #3 Arkadak Arsenal (12-4) = Arkadak Arsenal
SA’s Pick: Arkadak Arsenal
8-ball’s Pick: Old School
#5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (12-4) at #4 Minsk Ninjas (12-4) = Minsk Ninjas
SA’s Pick: Minsk Ninjas
8-ball’s Pick: Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps
Good luck to all the Alpha teams in Round 1!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS****
*#1 C-Town Hoodlums (15-1) LW3 – Well C-Town, you did it. You beat the Ballers in the last game of the season and you guys are the new #1 team in Zeta.
Salute!
Now you gotta’ show the Niners who the real daddy of Zeta is.
Treat these guys like you would your prom date, slip a roofie in her punch and go to town on that bitch!
Next Opponent: #8 Portland Niners (9-7)
*#2 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (15-1) LW2 – Buffalo WarZone?
More like Buffalo Wild Wings. Eat up fellas’.
Next Opponent: #7 Buffalo WarZone (9-7)
*#3 Stewart Ballers (15-1) LW1 – It was probably good to get that loss out of the way in the regular season. Now to start an undefeated post season win streak.
Next Opponent: #6 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (10-6)
*#4 Vilnius Velociraptors (11-5) LW4 – The Aftermath beat you guys once already, but just remember what you guys did to those people in Jurassic Park.
Lunch.
Next Opponent: #5 Chernobyl Aftermath (10-6)
*#5 Chernobyl Aftermath (10-6) LW5 – In Round 1 you guys need to remind these out of date, over grown lizards why their kind are now extinct. It’s because they have those tiny little hands that can’t hold a dam thing, unlike us dominant humans.
Next Opponent: at #4 Vilnius Velociraptors (11-5)
*#6 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (10-6) LW6 – If the Spider Pigs pull off the upset win here, well let’s just say I’ll go another round with Nick………..
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2004/09Nicole/Nicole-01.jpg
Next Opponent: at #3 Stewart Ballers (15-1)
*#7 Buffalo WarZone (9-7) LW8 – This is it! Round 1 is here. Up next is Stryden, the Ball Blizers.
Turn the tables and blitz their balls. Better still, spike those bad balls!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-azgWTq3_dU
Next Opponent: at #2 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (15-1)
*#8 Portland Niners (9-7) LW9 – The last time you guys faced the Hoodlums, you were outright raped by these ruffians.
I think this time you guys should do the raping. So pull the pants down and show them the REAL reason why they call you “Niners”.
Next Opponent: at #1 C-Town Hoodlums (15-1)
The Rest of Zeta
#9 Rome Raiders (8-8) LW11 – Well Rome, it has finally come to this, the Hot Chick Lounge. Great run at a playoff spot, but like my ex always told me “I just came up a little too short”…………..that bitch.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2009/06Amanda/Amanda-04.jpg
#10 Belgrade Blaze (8-8) LW7 – Finally! You Blazers are all mine!
Mwuahahahahahaha!!!!
No go get drunk and laid in the Hot Chick Lounge.
See, it’s not so bad.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2009/06Aubrey/Aubrey-04.jpg
#11 Jefferson City Bucks (7-9) LW10 – Sorry Bucks, but that’s all she wrote this season. The fat lady has started singing and the girls in the Lounge are waiting with legs wide open.
Enjoy.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2009/07Morgan/Morgan-03.jpg
#12 Russian Revolution (3-13) LW12
#13 Hellas Hoplites (3-13) LW13
#14 Odessa Mojo (2-13) LW14
#15 Bucharest Warriors (2-13) LW15
#16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-16) LW16
*****ROUND 1 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here’s my Zeta prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 7-1 Week 3: 7-1 Week 4: 6-2 Week 5: 7-1 Week 6: 6-2 Week 7: 7-1 week 8: 6-2 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 5-3
Week 14: 7-1 Week 15: 7-1 Week 16: 6-2
Overall: 89-23
SA’s GOW: 10-4
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 6-8
SA Playoffs:
8-ball Playoffs:
#8 Portland Niners (9-7) at #1 C-Town Hoodlums (15-1) =
SA’s Pick: C-Town Hoodlums
8-ball’s Pick: Portland Niners
#5 Chernobyl Aftermath (10-6) at #4 Vilnius Velociraptors (11-5) =
SA’s Pick: Vilnius Velociraptors
8-ball’s Pick: Chernobyl Aftermath
#7 Buffalo WarZone (9-7) at #2 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (15-1) =
SA’s Pick: Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
8-ball’s Pick: Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
#6 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (10-6) at #3 Stewart Ballers (15-1) =
SA’s Pick: Stewart Ballers
8-ball’s Pick: Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs
Good luck to all the Zeta teams in Round 1!
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Mar 13, 2010 09:22:50
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Mar 13, 2010 09:17:09
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Mar 13, 2010 09:13:20
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Mar 13, 2010 09:04:02
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Mar 12, 2010 15:57:17
thats really what we should base these awards on anyway
