Warrior General Games

That dress looks fucking awesome on you but it would look better balled up beside my bed.

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

you don't sweat much for a fat chick.

I had a buddy that used to put a toothbrush in his pocket when we would go out. When a girl asked him why he had a toothbrush in his pocket, he would say, "You don't expect me to use yours in the morning do you?"

Do you believe in love at first sight, or do you want me to walk by again?

I'm from Montana and if you go out to the bars around here, most likely you are going to hear some George Strait. When one of his songs start, go ask a girl if she likes George Strait If she says yes, look down at your crotch and say, "George!!! Did you hear that?"

Fuck me if I'm wrong...but isn't your name Sara?

Excuse me ma'am. Does this smell like chloroform?

Originally posted by HootyHoo
Excuse me ma'am. Does this smell like chloroform?

Classic!!!

Does this look swollen to you?

What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper

To a group of girls.......

I'm gonna fuck you, you, and you.... ok, who's first?

To a group of girls...

"Not it" to have sex with me!!!

Originally posted by HULK

Confidence is good.

Seeming like a weirdo stalker is not.

It's all in the delivery.

Originally posted by JohnnyDollar
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

lol