Warrior General Games

Originally posted by sirallan
S3 was our first Pro League year

oh yeah. man, those 3 martini lunches are no bueno for my brain. meant AFTER season 2.

I believe the Tweetys are the longest tenured pro team. They've been here since season 2, when they won the zeta/garuda championship.

Started in AAA. Season 3 I was DC, season 4 I took over as owner. Half the team left we finished 8-8 our worst season ever. By season 6 we were 15-1 lost in the 2nd round to krungthep, but since so many teams that season gutted (I think it was 11 teams) we were promoted to Pro. Have never missed the playoffs, and have made it to the 2nd round 2 of the 3 seasons we have been in Pro but never made it past that, but we have never missed the playoffs, or had a losing record in our 9 season lifetime

Fun fact: Only 7 teams of the teams currently in Garuda were in SEAPL in season 8. Only 5 of them were here in season 7.

A brief history of Cambodia Mountain Men:

jmarter purchases the existing AA team in Season 4, brings in haole and oldman to assess offense and defense, respectively. Lots of offseason changes in Season 4, including a full-scale recruiting bonanza that brought in most of the agents and players that are still on the team.

Since then:
Season 5, SEA AA#1: 14-2 first playoff appearance
Season 6, SEA AA#1: 14-2, lost in first-round upset
Season 7, SEA AA#1: 15-1 AA Champions
Season 8, SEA AAA#1: 13-3 AAA Champions
Season 9, SEA Pro: 12-4, lost in first round to Marauders

ESL

Season1 -- SEA AA: We lost in the playoffs to some little elusive back named Shimmy Shake who took a long pitch to the house on us.. the fucker

Season2 -- SEA AA: We lost to Bandar in the Conference championship, turning the ball over **7** times and yet still only losing by 3 points. The fuckers. A rivalry was born, one that has kept many of us interested in GLB ever since, without which boredom would probably have triumphed.

Season3-- SEA AAA: Ridiculed for still being in AAA while the big boys were all in Pro.. we took advantage of the power vacuum at the time and cruised to 20-0 that season, taking the AAA league trophy easily. The fuckers

Season4 -- SEA PRO: We came into the Pros talking a lot of trash… doing it much better than those Jakarta or Winona losers, but not nearly with as much style as CelticRaider does (tips hat)

ESL got off to a very bumpy start and had our worst season ever, going 11-5 in the reg. season. Then got our shit together and annihilated Bandar (the fuckers) and Marauders (boot-lickers) in the playoffs before losing to the Bangkok Seamen (quitters) in the conf championship.

Season5 -- SEA PRO: No one stood in our way this season as we went 19-1 and won our first SEA Pro title, beating the heavily favored NACJAC (who, at that point, had had a 15-game playoff victory streak going.. haha, fuckers). Of course, we took out Bandar again (the bastards) en route to the title with a *convincing* 3-point victory. Our only loss that season during the regular season was to the Marauders (pricks)

Season6 -- SEA PRO: Again SEA Pro was just a bunch of bitches sucking at our teat. We cruised to 19-1 again and took down the Super Wok for the second straight season, yet again crushing our rival Pirates (choke jokes) in the playoffs with an authoritative 3-point beat down.

Season7 -- SEA PRO: The favorites to 3-peat, we went 15-1 in the regular season only to lose to the Katanas (simpleton cheesers) in the second round.. on a last-second TD. Had we rightfully won that game, we certainly would’ve yet again crushed the feeble Bandarians who, of course, choked in the Super Wok and got crushed by 20 points (lame).

Season8 -- SEA PRO: ESL rebounded with a 13-3 regular season, including losses to Singapore (lucky fuckers) and Bandar (cheaters)… but came back to sweep the playoffs *yet again* with consecutive victories over PaDong (overrated, if that’s even possible for a team without any trophies), Marauders (though we cheesed the Strong I slam more than was planned.. sorry), followed by an absolute slaughter-rule invoking 4-point massacre of the herpetic Bandar (aids monkeys) in the Conf championship, although they only ran two plays on offense (strong I slam and 5 WR pass.. wtf)

We then squared off against a gentlemanly (and scholarly) Louisiana Screaming Pelicans in the Super Wok, prior to which we both agreed to a *No Strong I Slam* clause. Of course, this was all a ruse to handicap their kicker, Scott Norwood Dempsey, who missed a last-second field goal to throw the game to us. If it makes you feel any better LSP, we paid him off…with sexual favors… from Bandar’s players

Season9-- SEA PRO: Every dog has it’s day and I guess the scurvacious Pirates were finally due. Although ESL was seeded #1, we played absolutely retarded dotball in the playoffs, starting with a miraculous victory over the upstart Buddhists before getting jail-raped by the Marauders. Although the Buddhists took it personally, our laughter was simply aimed at ourselves for getting unbelievably lucky to win a game we shouldn’t have… I see the Buddhists are using this as fuel and I applaud such sublimation (I see big things in your future)

Thankfully, for once, Bandar did not choke in the playoffs and actually won their first (and last) SEA Pro title. Now that they’ve popped their cherry, Bandar has vowed to go back to a life of chastity (which equates euphemistically to rum, sodomy and the lash)



ESL is the only team to have three Super Wok (SEA PRO league) titles. We also have one of the best W-L records (cumulative of both reg season and playoff games) of any team ever in GLB, by virtue of beating up on pansies like you (yeah you, all of you.. except the Marauders evidently).

Despite this, we fight to evolve and maintain some semblance of relevancy every season

The new teams that come up every season and talk smack – the Cobras, Winona, even as ESL once did… none of that shit means anything until you can actually do something on the field. Until then you are useless and teams like Jakarta will forever be remembered as such.

Duluth Bulldogs: Bounced around AAA for a long time and then papa and phin told me to take the reigns, were on a terror toward the AAA championship but fell in overtime to Lost City Idols.

Made our way to pro, knocked on the playoff door twice and they wouldnt let us in (helps not to have the week 1 Garuda opponent of Bangkok Tweetys or Ho Chi Mean Hot Mamma's). Finally got in last season and lost first round to eventual SEA Champ Bandar.

Originally posted by Doug_Plank
ESL

Season1 -- SEA AA: We lost in the playoffs to some little elusive back named Shimmy Shake who took a long pitch to the house on us.. the fucker

Season2 -- SEA AA: We lost to Bandar in the Conference championship, turning the ball over **7** times and yet still only losing by 3 points. The fuckers. A rivalry was born, one that has kept many of us interested in GLB ever since, without which boredom would probably have triumphed.

Season3-- SEA AAA: Ridiculed for still being in AAA while the big boys were all in Pro.. we took advantage of the power vacuum at the time and cruised to 20-0 that season, taking the AAA league trophy easily. The fuckers

Season4 -- SEA PRO: We came into the Pros talking a lot of trash… doing it much better than those Jakarta or Winona losers, but not nearly with as much style as CelticRaider does (tips hat)

ESL got off to a very bumpy start and had our worst season ever, going 11-5 in the reg. season. Then got our shit together and annihilated Bandar (the fuckers) and Marauders (boot-lickers) in the playoffs before losing to the Bangkok Seamen (quitters) in the conf championship.

Season5 -- SEA PRO: No one stood in our way this season as we went 19-1 and won our first SEA Pro title, beating the heavily favored NACJAC (who, at that point, had had a 15-game playoff victory streak going.. haha, fuckers). Of course, we took out Bandar again (the bastards) en route to the title with a *convincing* 3-point victory. Our only loss that season during the regular season was to the Marauders (pricks)

Season6 -- SEA PRO: Again SEA Pro was just a bunch of bitches sucking at our teat. We cruised to 19-1 again and took down the Super Wok for the second straight season, yet again crushing our rival Pirates (choke jokes) in the playoffs with an authoritative 3-point beat down.

Season7 -- SEA PRO: The favorites to 3-peat, we went 15-1 in the regular season only to lose to the Katanas (simpleton cheesers) in the second round.. on a last-second TD. Had we rightfully won that game, we certainly would’ve yet again crushed the feeble Bandarians who, of course, choked in the Super Wok and got crushed by 20 points (lame).

Season8 -- SEA PRO: ESL rebounded with a 13-3 regular season, including losses to Singapore (lucky fuckers) and Bandar (cheaters)… but came back to sweep the playoffs *yet again* with consecutive victories over PaDong (overrated, if that’s even possible for a team without any trophies), Marauders (though we cheesed the Strong I slam more than was planned.. sorry), followed by an absolute slaughter-rule invoking 4-point massacre of the herpetic Bandar (aids monkeys) in the Conf championship, although they only ran two plays on offense (strong I slam and 5 WR pass.. wtf)

We then squared off against a gentlemanly (and scholarly) Louisiana Screaming Pelicans in the Super Wok, prior to which we both agreed to a *No Strong I Slam* clause. Of course, this was all a ruse to handicap their kicker, Scott Norwood Dempsey, who missed a last-second field goal to throw the game to us. If it makes you feel any better LSP, we paid him off…with sexual favors… from Bandar’s players

Season9-- SEA PRO: Every dog has it’s day and I guess the scurvacious Pirates were finally due. Although ESL was seeded #1, we played absolutely retarded dotball in the playoffs, starting with a miraculous victory over the upstart Buddhists before getting jail-raped by the Marauders. Although the Buddhists took it personally, our laughter was simply aimed at ourselves for getting unbelievably lucky to win a game we shouldn’t have… I see the Buddhists are using this as fuel and I applaud such sublimation (I see big things in your future)

Thankfully, for once, Bandar did not choke in the playoffs and actually won their first (and last) SEA Pro title. Now that they’ve popped their cherry, Bandar has vowed to go back to a life of chastity (which equates euphemistically to rum, sodomy and the lash)



ESL is the only team to have three Super Wok (SEA PRO league) titles. We also have one of the best W-L records (cumulative of both reg season and playoff games) of any team ever in GLB, by virtue of beating up on pansies like you (yeah you, all of you.. except the Marauders evidently).

Despite this, we fight to evolve and maintain some semblance of relevancy every season

The new teams that come up every season and talk smack – the Cobras, Winona, even as ESL once did… none of that shit means anything until you can actually do something on the field. Until then you are useless and teams like Jakarta will forever be remembered as such.


tl;dr

Originally posted by Punk Rock Jocks
tl;dr

Cliffnotes: fuckers. As far as I got it.

It's only too long if you compare it to The Bats history which you could probably fit on a post it note...

I know none of you can read books, let alone one page

yet another reason why most of you suck

I read it, and I don't see how we are overrated since no one has ever predicted us to get past the first round since we made it to SEA Pro, but we have made it past it 2 of the 3 seasons. But if you were referring just to season 8 then yes that season BBTB made us extremely overrated

Originally posted by Doug_Plank
I know none of you can read books, let alone one page

yet another reason why most of you suck



Its not their fault, blame our United Nations (UNESCO) run education system.

Originally posted by Doug_Plank
ESL

Season1 -- SEA AA: We lost in the playoffs to some little elusive back named Shimmy Shake who took a long pitch to the house on us.. the fucker

Season2 -- SEA AA: We lost to Bandar in the Conference championship, turning the ball over **7** times and yet still only losing by 3 points. The fuckers. A rivalry was born, one that has kept many of us interested in GLB ever since, without which boredom would probably have triumphed.

Season3-- SEA AAA: Ridiculed for still being in AAA while the big boys were all in Pro.. we took advantage of the power vacuum at the time and cruised to 20-0 that season, taking the AAA league trophy easily. The fuckers

Season4 -- SEA PRO: We came into the Pros talking a lot of trash… doing it much better than those Jakarta or Winona losers, but not nearly with as much style as CelticRaider does (tips hat)

ESL got off to a very bumpy start and had our worst season ever, going 11-5 in the reg. season. Then got our shit together and annihilated Bandar (the fuckers) and Marauders (boot-lickers) in the playoffs before losing to the Bangkok Seamen (quitters) in the conf championship.

Season5 -- SEA PRO: No one stood in our way this season as we went 19-1 and won our first SEA Pro title, beating the heavily favored NACJAC (who, at that point, had had a 15-game playoff victory streak going.. haha, fuckers). Of course, we took out Bandar again (the bastards) en route to the title with a *convincing* 3-point victory. Our only loss that season during the regular season was to the Marauders (pricks)

Season6 -- SEA PRO: Again SEA Pro was just a bunch of bitches sucking at our teat. We cruised to 19-1 again and took down the Super Wok for the second straight season, yet again crushing our rival Pirates (choke jokes) in the playoffs with an authoritative 3-point beat down.

Season7 -- SEA PRO: The favorites to 3-peat, we went 15-1 in the regular season only to lose to the Katanas (simpleton cheesers) in the second round.. on a last-second TD. Had we rightfully won that game, we certainly would’ve yet again crushed the feeble Bandarians who, of course, choked in the Super Wok and got crushed by 20 points (lame).

Season8 -- SEA PRO: ESL rebounded with a 13-3 regular season, including losses to Singapore (lucky fuckers) and Bandar (cheaters)… but came back to sweep the playoffs *yet again* with consecutive victories over PaDong (overrated, if that’s even possible for a team without any trophies), Marauders (though we cheesed the Strong I slam more than was planned.. sorry), followed by an absolute slaughter-rule invoking 4-point massacre of the herpetic Bandar (aids monkeys) in the Conf championship, although they only ran two plays on offense (strong I slam and 5 WR pass.. wtf)

We then squared off against a gentlemanly (and scholarly) Louisiana Screaming Pelicans in the Super Wok, prior to which we both agreed to a *No Strong I Slam* clause. Of course, this was all a ruse to handicap their kicker, Scott Norwood Dempsey, who missed a last-second field goal to throw the game to us. If it makes you feel any better LSP, we paid him off…with sexual favors… from Bandar’s players

Season9-- SEA PRO: Every dog has it’s day and I guess the scurvacious Pirates were finally due. Although ESL was seeded #1, we played absolutely retarded dotball in the playoffs, starting with a miraculous victory over the upstart Buddhists before getting jail-raped by the Marauders. Although the Buddhists took it personally, our laughter was simply aimed at ourselves for getting unbelievably lucky to win a game we shouldn’t have… I see the Buddhists are using this as fuel and I applaud such sublimation (I see big things in your future)

Thankfully, for once, Bandar did not choke in the playoffs and actually won their first (and last) SEA Pro title. Now that they’ve popped their cherry, Bandar has vowed to go back to a life of chastity (which equates euphemistically to rum, sodomy and the lash)



ESL is the only team to have three Super Wok (SEA PRO league) titles. We also have one of the best W-L records (cumulative of both reg season and playoff games) of any team ever in GLB, by virtue of beating up on pansies like you (yeah you, all of you.. except the Marauders evidently).

Despite this, we fight to evolve and maintain some semblance of relevancy every season

The new teams that come up every season and talk smack – the Cobras, Winona, even as ESL once did… none of that shit means anything until you can actually do something on the field. Until then you are useless and teams like Jakarta will forever be remembered as such.



wtf, im not reading all that