FAT DADDY CA$H’S CORNER: WEEK 7
First, I have to apologize to everyone for missing Week 6. Damned hookers, blow and “the man” kept me in total lockdown.
And man, what a week to miss! The league was shaken up by some great wins and a few upsets as the playoff field got knocked around a bit. While Week 6 did not provide as many top-notch games, Week 7 holds a couple of gems with several teams fighting for their very survival.
We’ll start, as always, with a look back. Then we’ll move into the updated Power Rankings and finally to Week 7’s predictions!
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Week 6 Recaps and Awards
Multiple Scorgasms 30 – DFools AllStars 7
Multiple kept it simple this week, building off the momentum gained from their upset of the HEAT in week 5 and employing a punishing, clock chewing ground game to demolish DFools.
After the Scorgasms’s first drive of the game stalled due to a Jo’ Moxon interception, Multiple decided to trust in their ground game – calling five straight running plays to reach the end zone with 4:05 left to play in the first quarter.
Leading 7-0 early in the second quarter, The AllStars caught a break when DT Tre Sitarz forced an Earl Payton fumble that was scooped up by CB Maik Gorman. It was the second turnover forced by the amped up AllStar defense and put their offense in great position to tie the game. But, as Yogi Berra used to say, “it was like deja vu all over again” as just two plays later, CB Tantnarf Moffgers picked this Shane Tessem pass:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85611&pbp_id=3261076
It was the second pick for Moffgers and the second time in a row that the Tessem tossed an INT just two plays after his defense notched a turnover. Surely none of the AllStar players bet the number 2 in Bingo this week.
The INT stalled the AllStars’ last shot to get into the game as the Scorgasms quickly tacked on 3 more points to their lead. With 61 carries for 309 yards, the Scorgams simply crushed the will of DFools’ front seven as they coasted to victory.
Player of the Game: CB Tantnarf Moffgers gets the nod over HB Randy Watson in a slim vote. While Watson chewed up the yards, Moffgers’ big plays early on sealed the game for Multiple.
Scape Goat of the Game: QB Shane Tessem had one of his worst outings of the season, tossing 3 INTs while completing only 41% of his passes for a paltry 66 yards.
Frankfurt HEAT 38 - Reykjavik Aggies 21
The battle of two 3-2 teams lived up to the hype early as both offenses employed a grind it out style featuring impressive running games. In fact, both teams appeared to be mirror images of one another in the first half.
The HEAT got on the board first when HB Antwain Easterling capped off a 9 play, 4-minute drive with a short TD run. But the Aggies refused to be left behind. On the very next drive, the Aggies mounted their own 13-play assault that was topped off by HB Super The Squirrel’s 1-yard TD plunge. The back and forth continued as Frankfurt mounted another lengthy drive and scored on HB Ahmad Daniels 2-yard scamper.
It looked like the fans were in for a back and forth day of “he who has the ball last wins” – but that was until Aggies’ QB Manny White’s second quarter pass was picked by LB Travares Mack. One play later, Randy Livingston turned the Reykjavik mistake into Frankfurt’s gain when he found WR Xaiver Rhodes on a streak route for a 52-yard TD score:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85668&pbp_id=3261178
The TD opened up the floodgates as the HEAT poured on 24 unanswered points while shutting the Aggies out for most of the second and third quarter. Two fourth quarter TDs by the Aggies staunched the bleeding, but HEAT were in control throughout.
Players of the Game: WR Demetrius Bryd had 6 catches for 149 yards, including a 92-yard TD catch.
Scape Goat of the Game: The Aggies’ defensive unit surrendered 520 yards in total and 38 points in the game.
Rohrheim Stampede 16 – Rotterdam Roughnecks 13
In the most thrilling game of the week, the Stampede ripped off 13 unanswered points in the final 10 minutes of the 4th quarter to force an overtime showdown against the favorite Rotterdam Roughnecks.
The Stampede fell behind early in the second quarter when HB Brady Smith broke off a 37-yard TD run, giving the Roughnecks a 7-point lead. Rotterdam would quickly build on that, tacking on two field goals and relying upon their defense to stymie the Stampede assault.
Down 13-0 in the 4th quarter, the Stampede defense took matters into their own hands. It started early when CB Tim Cain picked off Corey Smith’s pass, deep in Roughneck territory:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85625&pbp_id=3264369
Rohrheim converted the pick into a field goal, but the Stampede defense was just warming up. On the very next series, Rohrheim’s pass rush created two sacks on Smith, forcing a quick punt. With just 3:38 remaining, Rohrheim QB Gunn Slinger found his man in the back of the end zone on a 2-yard pass, cutting the deficit to just three points.
It only took one play after the kick off for the Stampede to get the ball back as Arno Wellington forced a Dennis Gentry fumble, giving the Stampede the ball near mid-field. However, all looked lost when Rohrheim failed to convert a 4th and 8 with 2:32 left on the clock. All Rotterdam would need to do would be run out the clock … right?
Wrong. Contrary to all logic, Smith decided to put the ball in the air on their first play from scrimmage. Harold Longfellow came down with the pick and Rohrheim’s back up QB Ace N’Thehole orchestrated an 8 play drive, capped off by a 40-yard field goal with just 0:34 ticks left on the clock.
In overtime, the Stampede won the toss and mounted a 14-play drive for the game winning FG – not allowing the Roughnecks even a chance to touch the ball. The impressive come-from-behind victory was Rohrheim’s second win in a row – positioning them nicely for their second half schedule.
Player of the Game: The entire Stampede defense who came up huge in the clutch, giving the offense plenty of chances to pull off the upset.
Scape Goat of the Game: QB Corey Smith was sacked 7 times, fumbled once and threw two costly picks that wound up costing the Roughnecks the game.
Paris Musketeers 195 – Sandford Policeman 0
The best medicine for bouncing back after a tough loss seems to be to play the Policeman. After losing to Korb, the Musketeers ripped of 70 points in the second quarter alone to help wash the taste of defeat out of their mouths.
Another thing that helps one get over defeat – comedy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLG3S5WzHig
The Musketeers better rest up quick – a big showdown versus the Trolls is next on tap.
Player of the Game: Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder. Check him out. Hilarious!
Scape Goat of the Game: Fat Daddy Cash for missing Week 6. For shame!
Stockholm Meatballs 41 – Oxford Eagles 0
After getting bitch-slapped by the Pimps, the Meatballs wanted to get back on the winning track. The Meatballs’ defense started fast, forcing three first half turnovers, each resulting in a Stockholm TD.
With a 20-0 lead heading into half, the Meatballs picked right up where they left off when QB Rydin Pine connected with WR James T Kirk for a 56 yard TD strike on the opening drive:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85702&pbp_id=3270297
The Meatballs’ D would continue to dominate as CB Chris Money nabbed his second pick of the day and returned it 65 yards for a score. The outcome wasn’t much of a shock, but with the HEAT up next, the Meatballs are still searching for consistency.
Player of the Game: DB Chris Money had 3 tackles, 2 INTs, 1 TD and 3 PDs in the win.
Scape Goat of the Game: QB Max Wagner threw 4 picks and completed just 46% of his passes.
Rivals Mainboard Pimps 38 – Bari Barracudas 0
The Pimp defense was determined not to let Bari even catch a whiff of the upset bug as they started out in grand fashion last week. The RMP D forced three consecutive three-and-outs from Bari while the Pimp offense cashed each one of those into points.
The 17-point first quarter was enough to sustain the Pimps for the game, however give Bari credit – they did not back down. Despite being in a deep hole early, the Barracudas shut the Pimps out in the second quarter and played stingy D well into the third.
Early in the 4th quarter, the Pimp D put the final nail in the coffin when CB Zamboni Spimoni picked off QB Shane Falco Jr.’s pass and returned it 45 yards for the score:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85596&pbp_id=3270545
The Barracudas don’t have time to dwell on the loss as they face another tough opponent this week in Korb. Though the rebuilding process is taking longer than the Bari fans would like, they continue to show glimpses of talent – just enough to sustain them through this season.
Player of the Game: Both Pimp HBs split this honor this week. Lee Suggs and Graig Cooper combined for 237 yards and 4 TDs on 46 carries.
Scape Goat of the Game: The Barracudas missed 13 total tackles, something you just can’t do against a team as talented as the Pimps.
Korb Destroyers 90 – Valencia Billy Goats 0
The rebuilding process has begun to pick up steam in Valencia as Det Pistons continues to bring in solid players, despite having the hard sell of a 1-5 team. Recent signings have solidified most of the offensive line and perhaps the QB position, while on defense playmakers have been brought in along the trenches.
While the process is far from complete, it’s starting to earn dividends on the field. Last week they got their first FG of the new era and in Week 6, they managed to hold the Destroyers to under triple digits:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_pFTAY7MF8
For Korb it was business as usual as they are in the midst of a three game swing versus Valencia, Bari and Sandford before starting their brutal second half schedule which includes games against the Stampede, Multiple, Aggies, Meatballs, Pimps and the Toledo Swords.
Player of the Game: The Korb Cheerleaders who overcame a disastrous second quarter human pyramid debacle to have a great second half.
Scape Goat of the Game: FDC. Again!
MA Trolls 54 – Oslo Berserkers 7
The Trolls extended their conference leading winning streak to 5 games as they trounced the Berserkers 54-7 last week. The Trolls got the ball rolling on just their second possession, capping a 7-minute drive off with a 33-yard FG boot. With the floodgates opened, the Trolls tacked on two more quick TDs, taking a 16-7 point lead into the half.
On their second possession of the third quarter, the Trolls found themselves backed up against their own goal line. But QB JJ Flicker found TE Harry Palms for a 96.5 yard TD strike – a pass that shattered the Zeta season record for longest play from scrimmage:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85659&pbp_id=3270136
When the day was over, Flicker would find the end zone 4 times, 3 by air and one by way of his feet. As the Trolls win streak continues to build, JJ Flicker’s case for league MVP grows stronger.
Players of the Game: QB JJ Flicker was brilliant, completing 73% of his passes for 332 yards and 3 TD passes.
Scape Goat of the Game: The Berserker defense could not find an answer for the Trolls all day long.
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POWER RANKINGS
There was some shake-ups in the ratings with some teams streaking and others slumping. I hadn’t intended on doing these every week, but I had so much fun the last time, I figured why not keep it going.
Plus, I kinda owed you guys.
So here they are …
1. Rivals Mainboard Pimps
Change from last week: 0
Winners of two straight since their loss to the Aggies, the Pimps have re-asserted themselves as the conference favorites with easy wins over the Meatballs and Barracudas. The streak should continue this week against the faltering Eagles, setting up a showdown with the HEAT.
2. MA Trolls
Change from last week: +1
Look who has quietly won 5 in a row. The Trolls have notched impressive wins over the Roughnecks and HEAT during their stretch, but the other three wins were at the expense of the lower tier of Zeta. Tough games against the Musketeers and Destroyers will set up a brutal final season stretch for the Trolls.
3. Multiple Scorgasms
Change from last week: +1
Their 3-point win over the HEAT catapulted them up to the top tier while their strength of schedule gives them the edge over the Musketeers. Despite their high ranking, they shouldn’t overlook the Roughnecks next week.
4. Korb Destroyers
Change from last week: +5
Making the biggest jump of all teams, Korb has reeled off three in a row, including knocking off previously unbeaten Paris. With two very winnable games up next, the Destroyers should be sitting at 6-2 when the Trolls come into town in Week 9.
5. Frankfurt HEAT
Change from last week: -3
A tough loss to the Scorgasms knocked them from the top four, but they followed the loss up with a gutsy win over the Aggies – proving the HEAT still have plenty of bite. A big game with Stockholm pits two of the least consistent teams against one another in a steel cage death match. A win by the HEAT will serve them well considering the Pimps are up next.
6. Paris Musketeers
Change from last week: +1
The Musketeers’ move up the charts is due more to Stockholm and Rotterdam’s losses than their own performance. Still, at 5-1 they are in control of their own destiny. Sadly, that destiny includes a brutal second half schedule.
7. Stockholm Meatballs
Change from last week: -1
The loss to the Pimps was tough to watch. Had the Aggies and Roughnecks not gone on losing streaks, the Meatballs might be out of the top 10 this week. They’ll get a chance at redemption this week as they take on the HEAT. A big win might be just enough to propel them through a considerably softer second half schedule.
8. Rohrheim Stampede
Change from last week: +2
Don’t look now, but the Stampede are starting to make a run. While their win over the AllStars was expected, their OT shocker against the Roughnecks was not. Loaded with talent, the Stampede are still a threat to every team they face. With winnable games on tap against the Berserkers, Goats and Policeman, the Stampede could be well above .500 in the very near future.
9. Rotterdam Roughnecks
Change from last week: -4
The Roughnecks plummeted after dropping two straight games to the Trolls and Stampede. Dropping four spots might be a touch harsh, but based on the relative ease of their early schedule, those two straight losses don’t bode well as they head into a much more demanding second half schedule.
10. Reykjavik Aggies
Change from last week: -2
The Aggies have been plagued by the same inconsistency that has haunted other top teams this year such as the HEAT and Meatballs. The only difference is, the Aggies have one more loss. With plenty of talent, they can rebound with a softer second half schedule that includes games against all four of the conferences’ cellar dwellers.
11. Bari Barracudas
Change from last week: 0
Bari should see the wins start piling up as they face the Eagles, Policeman, AllStars and Assassins down the home stretch. But a win against a top ranked team would certainly help them transition into playoff contenders next season.
12. Oxford Eagles
Change from last week: 0
The Eagles have gotten pummeled by their opponents as of late, dropping them out of playoff contention and into the basement of Zeta. With enough talent to win and a soft second half schedule, the Eagles have the ability to surprise some teams in the second half of this year.
13. Valencia Billy Goats
Change from last week: +3
Yes, the Berserkers have more wins and arguably more talent at the moment. However, the Goats are moving forward while the Berserkers are standing still – thus, they get the nod here. Det Pistons continues to bring in players and with a win this week, the Billy Goats could stave off relegation.
14. Oslo Berserkers
Change from last week: -1
The Berserkers have begun to overhaul their roster, bringing in human players at DE and CB. This is great news for the franchise. However, more work remains to be done. With some breaks, this team could contend next season so long as they keep their eye on the ball.
15. DFools AllStars
Change from last week: -1
DFools is a team in trouble. With half their roster inactive, they face the prospects of relegation despite being in the same conference as two gutted teams. The AllStars are in a bad way right now, and with a brutal second half schedule, they could very well lose out.
16. Sandford Policeman
Change from last week: -1
The Coppers have not moved as quickly as the Billy Goats in their rebuilding efforts, dooming them to the 16th spot. Relegation is certainly in their future, but they should use the time wisely to rebuild for a quick turnaround next year.
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WEEK 7 GAME PREVIEWS
Last Week’s Record: *5-2 (Week 5’s picks)
Season Total: 28-11
MA TROLLS (5-1) at PARIS MUSKETEERS (5-1)
The hottest team in town rolls into Paris this week as we are treated to a great battle of 5-1 teams. For the Trolls, they’ll be looking to assert their dominance over the rest of Zeta while the Musketeers will be like the late, great Rodney Dangerfield: looking for some respect.
Trolls’ QB JJ Flicker leads one of Zeta’s most lethal passing attacks, but they will be throwing into the heart of the Musketeer defense that boasts one of the game’s best secondaries. Led by CB Nate Clements and Jimmy McNulty, the Musketeers have been tough to pass on all season long, and they are up to the challenge this week. “Flicker’s got skills,” Clements told reporters, “but we got game.”
Paris has been able to generate a ton of offense on the ground thanks to HB Nolan Akers. However, the biggest mismatch in the game will play out when the undermanned Musketeer O-Line faces the uber-talented Troll front seven. With a considerable edge in the trenches, the Trolls will look to shut down the rushing lanes and put pressure on a passing game that has only put up 6 TDs all year. If the Trolls can make the Musketeers one dimensional, it will cause a lot of three-and-outs, giving Flicker more time to figure out the crafty Paris defense.
For Paris, this game marks the start of a brutal six game stretch that will define their season. If they can find a way to start it off with an upset here, they’ll be in great shape.
Prediction:
While I’m curious to see how Flicker and company attack the Paris secondary, the talent gap in the trenches is too strong for Paris to over come. With QB Christian Soldier and Ace Rivers being untested this season in the clutch, Paris does not have enough balance offensively to keep the Trolls at bay. Trolls win, 23-9.
STOCKHOLM MEATBALLS (4-2) at FRANKFURT HEAT (4-2)
Both the Meatballs and HEAT have tipped over their own inconsistencies this season – at times looking like world-beaters and others … well, just looking beaten.
The HEAT QB controversy seems to have settled down as once again, both QBs are splitting time. However, Clausen has still been putting up too many INTs for the coaching staff’s liking. Livingston has stepped in well, making sure that all of Frankfurt’s receiving weapons are properly utilized. But the steadying influence all season for the HEAT has been the play of HB Antwain Easterling who, while not putting up spectacular numbers, has been consistently good for the HEAT offense.
Like the HEAT, the Meatballs roll into town with a deep team, relying on attacking opponents with waves of players rather than just leaning on their starters to carry the load. Many of Stockholm’s players have not forgotten about the crushing loss the HEAT delivered to the Meatballs in the AAA#1 Conference Championship game in Season 2 and are amped for a shot at redemption. According to team captain, Snot Dangler, “we’re going to eat their children … well … no, not their children, but their children’s happy meals!”
The way these two teams play, this game could either be a classic … or a blow out.
Prediction:
While both teams have been inconsistent this year, the HEAT have at least been competitive in their two losses while the Meatballs have not. This prognosticator simply never knows what to expect from Stockholm on any given day – which is alarming considering it’s his team. Still, the HEAT have the edge on paper and I think they find a way to win this one, 35-27.
REYKJAVIK AGGIES (3-3) at DFOOLS ALLSTARS (1-5)
The Aggies will get a chance to climb above .500 when they travel to DFools. Facing a porous secondary, Aggie QB Manny White and friends should find plenty of holes and match-ups to exploit as they make life miserable for the AllStar defenders.
While the AllStars have talent on the roster, the amount of inactivity has made it difficult for the coaching staff to properly execute their game plans and set tactics. Also, a lack of a consistent rushing attack has plagued the AllStars, forcing QB Shane Tessem to shoulder too much of the burden.
Expect the Aggies to jump out to an early lead and lean on their great defense to force Tessem into costly mistakes.
Prediction:
The Aggies should coast in this one to big 34-3 victory.
RIVALS MAINBOARD PIMPS (5-1) at OXFORD EAGLES (1-5)
The Pimps should put up another batch of impressive offensive numbers against the slumping Eagles this week. With a huge edge on paper, the Pimps will lean heavily on their great running backs to plow the road and wear down the Eagles’ defenders. Defensively, the Pimps shouldn’t have much of a problem bottling up the Eagles’ attack. Expect DE Mr. Bundy to check a few more victims off his list.
The Eagles have dropped 5 in a row, but their schedule gets decidedly easier after the Pimps game. If they can find a way to keep the team afloat, they should start seeing more wins in the very near future.
Prediction:
The Pimps will win this in a walk, 45-0.
KORB DESTORYERS (4-2) at BARI BARRACUDAS (2-4)
The Barracudas’ rebuilding plan is right on schedule. Slowly but surely, team chemistry is getting back to competitive levels as the bounty of new players begin to gel with the team concept. Despite the noticeable gains Bari has made this season, the players and coaches are still jonsing for their first big win. The win that shows the rest of WEPL they are indeed back on track.
Bari will get that shot this week against the surging Korb Destroyers, who come into Barracuda Stadium riding a 3 game winning streak. On paper this has the potential to be a great game with both team strengths matching up well against the other. For the Barracudas, HB Clinton Portis has quietly had a fine season – and Bari will need him to rip off chunks of yards against Korb’s great run defense. Meanwhile, Korb’s two-headed QB monster will face off against a Bari secondary that is quickly improving.
Ultimately, Korb is just too strong for Bari to have much of a shot with their chemistry being as low as it is. Still, a couple breaks here and there could make the game more interesting than some expect.
Prediction:
Bari will beat a team it’s not supposed to this season. It’s not a question of if, just when. However, it won’t be this week against Korb. The Destroyers move to 5-2 with a thorough 38-3 victory.
ROHRHEIM STAMPEDE (3-3) at OSLO BERSERKERS (2-4)
The Stampede are quietly making a comeback as they are in position to win their third straight this week in Oslo. After their heart attack comeback win against Rotterdam, the Stampede will be looking for a more comfortable win this time around.
Rohrheim QB Gunn Slinger will once again be called upon to lead the charge as the Berserkers paper-thin secondary is ripe for the picking. Having Slinger complete some early balls to ESPN Highlight will soften the defense up, build an early lead and allow Ironhead Hayes to finish off Oslo. The key for the Stampede offense will be to stay focused on the Berserkers and not get caught looking ahead to their looming match-up with Paris.
The Berserkers are somewhat in a rebuilding phase. With the playoffs a long shot this season, the team is (and should be) turning its attention to patching the holes in their roster and building for next season. That’s not to say they cannot win any more games, they certainly have the talent – it’s just they should be more focused on the future than the present.
Prediction:
The Stampede will get above .500 for the first time all season with a 28-0 win.
MULTIPLE SCORGASMS (5-1) at ROTTERDAM ROUGHNECKS (3-3)
This marquee match-up lost some of its luster thanks to Rotterdam’s recent two game losing streak. Four weeks ago, many experts would have marked the Scorgasms as the underdog here, especially after the Roughnecks dismantled the Destroyers.
How times change. Back to back losses to the Trolls and Stampede have put a crimp in Rotterdam’s momentum. While the offense was able to put up yards in the two losses, they were unable to find the end zone as consistently as they had become accustomed to. With their offensive stars in a rut, the Roughnecks will have to lean heavily on their defense which thus far has been spotty at best.
The Scorgasms come into the game with a large edge in the passing game. The Roughnecks have given up over 232 yards a game through the air and 5 TDs compared to just 50 yards on the ground and 3 rushing TDs. The culprit has been a combination of the Roughneck opponents playing from behind and some holes in the secondary. This is bad news as Multiple pulled off a huge trade this week, bringing USA Pro QB QB Eagles to their squad.
Before his team was gutted, Eagles had thrown for 10 TDs and just 2 INTs. He’ll take over for QB Jo’ Moxon who, while starting fast this year, had slowed considerably in recent weeks. Eagles will get his first taste of WEPL this week and might just been the weapon Multiple needs to overcome the Smith brothers.
Prediction:
The big change at QB makes the Scorgasms more of a wildcard. If Eagles can adapt fast to his new surroundings, Multiple may have just gotten themselves a big piece of the championship puzzle. As good as Rotterdam is, I think the Scorgasms have the edge here and will win, 34-29.
*** GAME OF THE WEEK ***
SANFORD POLICEMAN (0-6) at VALENCIA BILLY GOATS (1-5)
I know what you’re thinking, how can a match-up of two gutted teams POSSIBLY be the Game of the Week. Well, for many reasons. Curiosity for one (who doesn’t rush to the side-show tent as soon as they go to a carnival … or am I alone on that one?). Secondly, this game will undoubtedly have the largest impact on the structure of the league come next season.
The Billy Goats are rebuilding quickly, but just a matter of days ago, it appeared that relegation might be in their future. However, with DFools struggling and Valencia holding the tiebreaker over them, a win by the Billy Goats this week could mean the AllStars are the ones relegated and NOT the Billy Goats.
With the tradition in Valencia, as well as the obvious recruiting talents of new owner Det Pistons, the league will be better served if Valencia stays and the AllStars are the ones sent packing. That makes this a game to watch.
Prediction:
The Billy Goats are still so scattered that there’s always a chance they could fumble away a win here, but the Policeman are so far behind in the arms race I just don’t see it happening. Expect Valencia to win, 70-3.
