ANNOUNCEMENT: jrry32 was unable to provide rankings this week, presumably because he is in jail for violating Ronin's restraining order. This of course means there will be a few less horrid jokes and quite a bit less gayness within the rankings this week.
Week 6 Power Rankings
1 Bourbon Street Bullies 6-0-0
Pseudo Jed started to comment, but instead fell over laughing...
2 Philadelphia Pushovers 6-0-0
purehatred says, "I don’t get the corn jokes. I’m sorry. Is there some connection between corn and Philadelphia that I’m missing? Some historical link? Does Jed like corn? Do cavemen like corn? Is that even possible…I believe corn wasn’t cultivated until several thousand years after the Neanderthal died out?
Totally not down with the corn, yo."
In response, I join Pseudo Jed in rolling around on the floor in hysterical laughter.
3 Detroit Demon Lions 6-0-0
purehatred says, "DDL came through in their toughest game to date. People may hate TSE and think that he’s kind of a douche bag and his voice sounds like that kid in class who reminded the teacher she forgot to assign homework for the weekend, and his personality is completely lacking, and his knowledge of the game is totally overrated and his strategy guide on e-bay is laughable, and…um...wait what was I talking about again?"
BREAKING NEWS: Based on the "quality" of his humor, I am now convinced that purehatred is actually jrry32 under that mask!
4 Kalamazoo Coyotes 5-1-0
According to purehatred "They got a couple of unlucky bounces in their loss to Washington, so it’s hard to fault them.
Of course, it could be The Curse of Saginaw."
Pseudo Shagg enters Power Ranking HQ eating an ear of corn and mumbling something about one down and two to go...
BREAKING NEWS: Pseudo Shagg has been banned from the PRHQ because we here at the PRHQ do not tolerate the presence of "regular players" at our locale!
5 San Antonio Saints 5-1-0
purehatred makes me actually chuckle when he comments that it was a "Stunning loss. The offense looked flat. Honestly, it seems like newborn babies are the scourge of GLB right now.
But it’s hard to fault the owners who are knocking up their wives/girlfriends/sisters. The odds of a guy who plays online MMORPGs getting laid are so long, who cane blame them?"
BREAKING NEWS: I am pleased to report that purehatred is obviously NOT jrry32 in disguise. Either that or jrry found someone to write his comedy for him...
6 Minnesota Marauders 6-0-0
CTap, finally off the floor and again composed says, "Minny and BSB certainly appear to be headed for a colossal showdown in Week 11."
7 Detroit Dump Trucks 4-2-0
8 Washington Bullets 5-1-0
9 Chicago Mustangs 4-2-0
purehatred made some kind of inside jokes about Harper and bolstersam that I found even less enthralling than jrry's challenge... regardless Mustangs won a game but don't really seem to care themselves.
10 Boston Nighthawks 5-1-0
purehatred says, "I don’t honestly think that they’re the 9th best team in the Pros, but until someone in the West goes on a little win streak, it’s hard to move them down.
Someone in this next bunch from the West is going to separate themselves from the pack. Until then, they’re basically interchangeable."
BREAKING NEWS: In response, I set out on a mission to find either the TSE2000 or the flames5400 and have them return to PRHQ and eradicate purehatred for his blasphemy against BSB!
11 Las Vegas Freebirds 4-2-0
12 Galaxy Aces 4-2-0
Pseudo CTap, filling in for CTap (who has gone searching for an android at the moment) says, "They say they have found their passing game but they beat two teams who haven't exactly been on their games this season either. The jury is still out..."
13 Detroit Nasty 3-3-0
14 Golden State Athletics 3-3-0
purehatred says, "A gentle nudge up the rankings thanks to a win over the Saints.
(Wait, that comment probably won’t get used. Dammit! Too dull…should I have said corn? Or maybe something gay like the stuff jrry says. I’ll try it on my next comment.)"
BREAKING NEWS: Upon hearing mention of corn, Pseudo Jed, who has FINALLY picked himself up off the floor, proceeds to beat purehatred with a stick (presumably for the corn tease).
15 San Jose Spartans 3-3-0
Pseudo Jed says, "Now it only me to comment on corn rankings. Grrr! This team Spartans has name like Sparta. Sparta bad. Spartans be bad too I think! Grrr!"
16 Kailua Daggers 3-3-0
purehatred, even in his battered condition, comments "Kailua does NOT lose 6 in a row and makes the writers of this column feel like complete fucking retards. Thanks a lot, Kailua.
Jerks."
Pseudo Jed wonders if "retards" are a type of corn...
17 Dayton Brute Squad 3-3-0
18 Gridiron Rage 3-3-0
19 D.C. Warpath 3-3-0
20 Columbus Bucks 3-3-0
21 Sacramento Sabercats 3-3-0
Pseudo Jed says, "Auris want comment. Me comment. Him team suck but Sabercat taste like chicken. Grrr!"
22 Oakland Intimidators 2-4-0
23 Washington Extreme 1-5-0
24 Rhode Island Red Wolves 2-4-0
25 Kansas Warriors 1-5-0
26 Kentucky Wildcats 1-5-0
27 Denver Globetrotters 0-6-0
28 Miami Bulldogs 1-5-0
29 Saginaw Supernovas 1-5-0
Pseudo Jed says, "me better team owner than 'Hit Like Bricks'. Why me no get team? Him sell it for Flex Points, I move it to Africa BBB, win Power Rankings championship, then sell it for all corn in the world! Grrr!"
30 Camden Outkasts 0-6-0
31 Sparta Wardogs 0-6-0
32 Tecmo Superbowlers 0-6-0
BREAKING NEWS: I was not successful in locating the either the TSE2000 or the flames5400.
At first, I thought both had met their untimely demise as was previously reported. However, in a shocking twist, I can report that one robot is still "alive". This machine is unlike anything I have previously encountered. It has the logic chip and honesty regulation controls of the TSE2000 combined with the ego chip and singular mindset of the flames5400.
That's right, it's the reconstructed "Strateflame Expert7400". Apparently the TSE2000's processors were not destroyed and being that all SkyNet 'droids are programmed to rebuild themselves, it used spare parts from the mostly-destroyed flames5400 to re-engineer itself into the most egotistical, one-track minded, logic applying, never lying, hype machine known to man.
More details to follow as they become available...
(Thanks to purehatred and tpaterniti for contributing rankings this week.)
Week 6 Power Rankings
1 Bourbon Street Bullies 6-0-0
Pseudo Jed started to comment, but instead fell over laughing...
2 Philadelphia Pushovers 6-0-0
purehatred says, "I don’t get the corn jokes. I’m sorry. Is there some connection between corn and Philadelphia that I’m missing? Some historical link? Does Jed like corn? Do cavemen like corn? Is that even possible…I believe corn wasn’t cultivated until several thousand years after the Neanderthal died out?
Totally not down with the corn, yo."
In response, I join Pseudo Jed in rolling around on the floor in hysterical laughter.
3 Detroit Demon Lions 6-0-0
purehatred says, "DDL came through in their toughest game to date. People may hate TSE and think that he’s kind of a douche bag and his voice sounds like that kid in class who reminded the teacher she forgot to assign homework for the weekend, and his personality is completely lacking, and his knowledge of the game is totally overrated and his strategy guide on e-bay is laughable, and…um...wait what was I talking about again?"
BREAKING NEWS: Based on the "quality" of his humor, I am now convinced that purehatred is actually jrry32 under that mask!
4 Kalamazoo Coyotes 5-1-0
According to purehatred "They got a couple of unlucky bounces in their loss to Washington, so it’s hard to fault them.
Of course, it could be The Curse of Saginaw."
Pseudo Shagg enters Power Ranking HQ eating an ear of corn and mumbling something about one down and two to go...
BREAKING NEWS: Pseudo Shagg has been banned from the PRHQ because we here at the PRHQ do not tolerate the presence of "regular players" at our locale!
5 San Antonio Saints 5-1-0
purehatred makes me actually chuckle when he comments that it was a "Stunning loss. The offense looked flat. Honestly, it seems like newborn babies are the scourge of GLB right now.
But it’s hard to fault the owners who are knocking up their wives/girlfriends/sisters. The odds of a guy who plays online MMORPGs getting laid are so long, who cane blame them?"
BREAKING NEWS: I am pleased to report that purehatred is obviously NOT jrry32 in disguise. Either that or jrry found someone to write his comedy for him...
6 Minnesota Marauders 6-0-0
CTap, finally off the floor and again composed says, "Minny and BSB certainly appear to be headed for a colossal showdown in Week 11."
7 Detroit Dump Trucks 4-2-0
8 Washington Bullets 5-1-0
9 Chicago Mustangs 4-2-0
purehatred made some kind of inside jokes about Harper and bolstersam that I found even less enthralling than jrry's challenge... regardless Mustangs won a game but don't really seem to care themselves.
10 Boston Nighthawks 5-1-0
purehatred says, "I don’t honestly think that they’re the 9th best team in the Pros, but until someone in the West goes on a little win streak, it’s hard to move them down.
Someone in this next bunch from the West is going to separate themselves from the pack. Until then, they’re basically interchangeable."
BREAKING NEWS: In response, I set out on a mission to find either the TSE2000 or the flames5400 and have them return to PRHQ and eradicate purehatred for his blasphemy against BSB!
11 Las Vegas Freebirds 4-2-0
12 Galaxy Aces 4-2-0
Pseudo CTap, filling in for CTap (who has gone searching for an android at the moment) says, "They say they have found their passing game but they beat two teams who haven't exactly been on their games this season either. The jury is still out..."
13 Detroit Nasty 3-3-0
14 Golden State Athletics 3-3-0
purehatred says, "A gentle nudge up the rankings thanks to a win over the Saints.
(Wait, that comment probably won’t get used. Dammit! Too dull…should I have said corn? Or maybe something gay like the stuff jrry says. I’ll try it on my next comment.)"
BREAKING NEWS: Upon hearing mention of corn, Pseudo Jed, who has FINALLY picked himself up off the floor, proceeds to beat purehatred with a stick (presumably for the corn tease).
15 San Jose Spartans 3-3-0
Pseudo Jed says, "Now it only me to comment on corn rankings. Grrr! This team Spartans has name like Sparta. Sparta bad. Spartans be bad too I think! Grrr!"
16 Kailua Daggers 3-3-0
purehatred, even in his battered condition, comments "Kailua does NOT lose 6 in a row and makes the writers of this column feel like complete fucking retards. Thanks a lot, Kailua.
Jerks."
Pseudo Jed wonders if "retards" are a type of corn...
17 Dayton Brute Squad 3-3-0
18 Gridiron Rage 3-3-0
19 D.C. Warpath 3-3-0
20 Columbus Bucks 3-3-0
21 Sacramento Sabercats 3-3-0
Pseudo Jed says, "Auris want comment. Me comment. Him team suck but Sabercat taste like chicken. Grrr!"
22 Oakland Intimidators 2-4-0
23 Washington Extreme 1-5-0
24 Rhode Island Red Wolves 2-4-0
25 Kansas Warriors 1-5-0
26 Kentucky Wildcats 1-5-0
27 Denver Globetrotters 0-6-0
28 Miami Bulldogs 1-5-0
29 Saginaw Supernovas 1-5-0
Pseudo Jed says, "me better team owner than 'Hit Like Bricks'. Why me no get team? Him sell it for Flex Points, I move it to Africa BBB, win Power Rankings championship, then sell it for all corn in the world! Grrr!"
30 Camden Outkasts 0-6-0
31 Sparta Wardogs 0-6-0
32 Tecmo Superbowlers 0-6-0
BREAKING NEWS: I was not successful in locating the either the TSE2000 or the flames5400.
At first, I thought both had met their untimely demise as was previously reported. However, in a shocking twist, I can report that one robot is still "alive". This machine is unlike anything I have previously encountered. It has the logic chip and honesty regulation controls of the TSE2000 combined with the ego chip and singular mindset of the flames5400.
That's right, it's the reconstructed "Strateflame Expert7400". Apparently the TSE2000's processors were not destroyed and being that all SkyNet 'droids are programmed to rebuild themselves, it used spare parts from the mostly-destroyed flames5400 to re-engineer itself into the most egotistical, one-track minded, logic applying, never lying, hype machine known to man.
More details to follow as they become available...
(Thanks to purehatred and tpaterniti for contributing rankings this week.)
Last edited Aug 14, 2008 14:58:48
