FAT DADDY CA$H’S CORNER
Week 1 had it all: upsets, overtime thrillers, late game heroics – all of which should set the stage for a wild ride in Season 4. This is the first attempt at blending recaps and highlights with predictions.
I received some quotes this week and would love to continue to make this a more interactive article. So if you want to comment on your team’s upcoming game, a player or team in the league, just PM me. I’ll work it in. Obviously, entertainment is key here, so I’m looking for fun quotes, good-natured trash-talk or just something out of the ordinary.
On to the good stuff!
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Week 1 Recaps and Awards
Paris Musketeers 15 – Rotterdam Roughnecks 3
The Musketeers’ re-tooled defense was sharp, holding the explosive Roughneck offense to just 162 yards while forcing 2 turnovers and 4 sacks. The pass rush was relentless and led by DE Marcus Rubio’s 2-sack day. In fact, Rubio made Rotterdam OT Burger McFatty look more like a revolving door than an offensive lineman.
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85620&pbp_id=1092617
While the Musketeers dominated defensively, their offense sputtered. Despite putting up over 300 yards, they failed to reach the end zone all afternoon. Field goals were enough to win this time out, but Paris is going to need to learn how to finish drives off before they can take the next step.
Player of the Game: K Lou “The Toe” Graza Jr. who went 5/5 on field goals, including a key 41 yarder that set the tone of the game.
Scape Goat of the Game: The entire Roughneck O-Line who allowed 4 sacks, 4 hurries and were unable to open holes for the running game all afternoon.
Multiple Scorgasms 13 – Reykjavik Aggies 10
QB Jo’ Moxon looked like a new man in Week 1. The QB who tossed 42 picks last season was sharp and efficient as he went to his new toy, TE Michael Howat early and often, capping off the first drive of the season with a sweet 7 yard TD pass to the prized free agent:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85606&pbp_id=1089954
By the time the final whistle blew, Moxon had completed 76% of his passes for 191 yards, 1 TD and 0 INTs.
It wasn’t entirely orgasmic for the Scorgasms though as three missed FGs by K Stephen Wal nearly cost Multiple the game. Tied 10-10, heading into overtime, it looked like the Aggies had the momentum, until SS Pino Fury forced a fumble on the overtime kickoff, setting up Wal for his game winning 33 yard kick.
Players of the Game: A tie. TE Michael Howat caught 10 of Moxon’s 19 completions and accounted for the Scorgasms’ only TD. Aggie DE Eric Cooper was a terror off the edge with 3 sacks, 10 tackles and 1 hurry.
Scape Goat of the Game: KR Joe Williams II whose costly turnover in OT ultimately cost his team the win.
Bari Barracudas 24 – Oslo Berserkers 7
The new and improved Barracuda defense got a chance to showoff for Zeta early in the first quarter. Trailing 7-0, Oslo marched down to the Bari 10 yard line in an almost routine fashion. But there, the Barracudas stiffened, and on 4th and 1, CB Dre Qwest’s jarring hit on HB Edgerrin Jones-Drew popped the ball out and swung the momentum in Bari’s favor.
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85591&pbp_id=1098092
The Barracudas would halt the Berserkers one more time on 4th down when LB Rex King tripped up Jones-Drew on a 4th and six inside the Bari 20 yard line. Bari would take the momentum from their defense and build a 21-point lead early in the third quarter by relying on the power running of HBs Clinton Portis and Mack Jones.
Player of the Game: HB Clinton Portis, 16 carries for 74 yards and 2 TDs allowed Bari to set the tempo without having to put too much pressure on rookie QB Shane Falco’s shoulders.
Scape Goat of the Game: The Berserkers’ Offensive Coordinator. Questionable decision making, highlighted by the two 4th down attempts deep inside Bari territory, cost them a chance to win.
Valencia Billy Goats 48 – Dfools Allstars 3
Valencia was anxious to get on the field and play with all their new offensive toys. QB Beo Wulf did not disappoint fans as he found new WR Double Notted 9 times in the game, including this nifty 58 yard TD pass and catch in the second quarter:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85645&pbp_id=1098973
Ball distribution was at an al time high as Wulf found WR Hroth Gar 10 times, Notted 9 times and WR Gren Del 7. Lost in the offensive mix was HB Tazmanian Devil’s 3 TD, 72-yard performance.
Defensively, the Billy Goats dominated from start to finish as LB Ry U’s13 tackles and 2 FF set the tone.
Player of the Game: QB Beo Wulf was simply outstanding, completing 33 of 47 attempts for 405 yards and 2 TDs.
Scape Goat of the Game: The Allstar O-Line who gave up 2 sacks, 5 hurries and failed to keep QB Shane Tessem upright for most of the game.
Stockholm Meatballs 27 – Rohrheim Stampede 0
The Meatballs brought their hard-hitting defensive style to WEPL with authority in Week 1. The tone was set early as AAA#1 Defensive Player of the Year DT Jock Strap and OLB Captain Krunch teamed up to stop HB Ironhead Hayes on consecutive plays.
Not wanting to let the defense get all the credit, the Stockholm offense was quick to make a statement of their own as HB Just Win broke off a 46 yard TD run on just their 3rd offensive play:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85633&pbp_id=1098865
The Meatballs used long, grinding drives to wear down the Stampede while the rested Meatball D took advantage, causing 3 fumbles, 1 INT and 1 sack. Holding the Stampede to just 107 yards was impressive.
Player of the Game: MLB Jack Diesel’s 7 tackles 3 FF and 1 hurry set the tone for the hard nose Stockholm defense.
Scape Goat of the Game: LB Shaun Hudson who’s pre-game comments caused a stir in the Meatball Locker room. Prior to the game, Hudson was quoted as saying, “(The Meatball) rushing attack will submit to the Stampede. I have no reason to be scared of the Meatballs and frankly, if they get within a touchdown of us, I’ll be disappointed.” Hudson finished the game with 1 missed tackle while the Meatballs’ HBs combined for 214 yards on the ground.
Oxford Eagles 33 – Sandford Policeman 0
Things tend to get ugly when playing a gutted team – and this game was no exception. Despite being a heavy favorite on paper, the Eagles tried with all their might to shoot themselves in the foot, but alas, they found a way to get through it.
The highlight of the weirdness found in the game was this TD run … by RG One Bad Mofo:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85675&pbp_id=1092476
What should have been a routine win, turned out to be one full of such follies. But still, it’s not how you win that matters, just that you win. Oxford will have to sharpen up before heading to MA next week.
Player of the Game: DE Eagle God. Normally 4 sacks is nothing to rave about when playing a gutted team, but Eagle God’s 4 tackles and 2 hurries were key to preventing the Eagles from somehow losing a game they should have easily won.
Scape Goat of the Game: Unfair to pick just one.
Rivals Mainboard Pimps 30 – MA Trolls 3
The Pimps’ 30-3 romp was anchored by a pimp-tastic defense that harassed and corralled the Trolls all afternoon. Holding the Trolls to just 8 yards on the ground while forcing 2 sacks, 8 hurries and 1 fumble allowed the Pimps to control the game and keep the Trolls on their heels. Plays such as this will give QB JJ Flicker nightmares for the next few nights:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85656&pbp_id=1089816
Offensively, the Pimps put the rock in the hands of their playmaker HB Craig Cooper who had 139 yards and a pair of TDs, including a 54-yard romp to seal the win in the 4th quarter. HB Lee Suggs amassed 74 yards on 18 carries, providing the Pimps with a solid 1-2 combo.
While the Trolls found some success moving the ball through their air, their inability to run the ball or stop the Pimp ground game is cause for concern.
Player of the Game: The entire Pimp D-Line. Despite Cooper’s heroics on offense, the game was won due to the Pimps’ D-Linemen completely shutting down the Troll offense.
Scape Goat of the Game: The entire MA D-Line. While the Pimps excelled at stopping the run, the Trolls big men were gashed for 204 rushing yards.
Frankfurt HEAT 23 – Korb Destroyers 20
It’s fitting that two of the top teams in Zeta would have their game be decided in an overtime thriller. Frankfurt’s offense was electric for much of the game, racking up 428 yards – including 339 through the air. Despite their ability to move the ball, it was Frankfurt’s inability to hold the ball that nearly cost them the game. 5 team turnovers, including 3 INTs by QB Jimmy Jimmy Clausen, kept the Destroyers afloat and within striking distance for much of the game.
Clausen’s INT in overtime looked like it would end the HEAT’s upset bid, but the defense capped a heroic stand with NT Lars Vegas’s timely sack on 3rd down:
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=85666&pbp_id=1097503
The stop gave Clausen and QB Randy Livingston another shot – and they took advantage as they marched their team down the field from their own 17-yard line. K Jackie Moon drilled a clutch 47-yard FG with under 2 minutes left to seal the win.
Players of the Game: Another tie. This time between WR Demetrius Byrd whose 8 catches, 133 yards and 1 TD kept Destroyer CBs busy all game and QB Randy Livingston. Livingston’s 16 for 32 182-yard. 2 TD performance was paramount as Clausen struggled with INTs throughout the game. Livingston’s cool headed play kept the HEAT focused and could possibly win him the starting nod soon enough.
Scape Goat of the Game: Korb’s Offense. They failed to take advantage of 5 HEAT turnovers, settling for 2 FGs and 1 TD. A wasted opportunity.
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WEEK 2 GAME PREVIEWS
Last Week’s Record: 5-3
OXFORD EAGLES (1-0) at MA TROLLS (0-1)
The Trolls head into their home opener with a chip on their shoulder. After giving up over 200 yards rushing while only managing 8 rushing yards themselves, the Trolls have had to rethink their defensive mindset. The front seven will have to work hard to contain HB Donald Williams who’s coming of a 98 yard, 2 TD performance. The good news for the Trolls is that the Eagle Offensive line is not as talented as the Pimps, which should result in some favorable match-ups, especially on the right side.
Offensively, the Trolls have to figure out a way to get HB Victor Stagnetty more involved. If the Trolls can get more production from their running game, they will open up their offensive sets, allowing QB JJ Flicker more opportunities to find WRs Jeremy Mann and JJ Missile.
The Eagles will need better production from their QB Max Wagner to keep up with Trolls this week. Last week Wagner only completed 58% of his passes for 104 yards against a gutted defensive secondary. Things won’t come as easy against a more dynamic Troll defense.
Prediction:
The Trolls are the more talented team, but have yet to demonstrate any sort of comfort level with the new tactics. The Eagles themselves made a very winnable game against Sanford more difficult than it should have been. Still, I think the Trolls’ talent will win out in this one. Trolls get to .500 with a 20-9 victory.
BARI BARRACUDAS (1-0) at REKJAVIK AGGIES (0-1)
Bari kept it simple in their Week 1 victory over the Berserkers, relying on a solid rushing game and a conservative passing attack. The formula worked as the Barracudas managed to wear Oslo down and secure the victory. While they will need HB Clinton Portis to have a solid game, the Barracudas are going to have to let QB Shane Falco Jr. open up the offense some against the stingy Aggies’ defense.
The Aggies dropped a heartbreaker in OT last week and are coming home determined to get back on track. The Barracudas’ defense has improved dramatically since last season, but they are still vulnerable in the secondary, something that QB Josh McNamara and WR Ronnie McKraken will have to exploit. Against the Scorgasms, McNamara was less than average as he only completed 50% of his passes for just 75 yards. While HBs Super The Squirrel and Andre Rudzinski will find room to run against Bari, the key to the offensive game plan will rest on McNamara’s ability to get the ball into the hands of his playmakers.
Prediction:
I’m a fan of how Bari is handling their rebuilding process and how they’ve adjusted to the new tactics. However, on paper, they just don’t match up well against the Aggies. Bari’s strength lies in their rushing attack – which just happens to be the strength of the Aggie defense. Still, no one in the league really knows what the Barracudas have as far as a passing game because new QB Falco has been kept under wraps. Call it a stretch, but I think Falco and the Barracudas have an upset in them. Bari wins a close one, 17-13.
OSLO BERSERKERS (0-1) at PARIS MUSKETEERS (1-0)
Oslo’s lack of depth and questionable coaching decisions cost them against Bari in Week 1. Despite moving the ball well, they shot themselves in the foot on multiple occasions by going for it on 4th down and failing. In a game where momentum is king, failing to convert red zone opportunities into points is deadly to a team’s win-loss record. It will be interesting to see what sort of lessons they have learned as they take on feisty Musketeers this week.
Offensively, the Berserkers will find the road even tougher in Paris as the Musketeers boast a stout defense against both the pass and run. Against the Roughnecks, the under dog Musketeers held Rotterdam to just 7 yards on the ground and 162 yards in total. The pass rush was tremendous as they accounted for 4 sacks and caused 2 INTs against one of the more explosive offensive units in the conference. The only thing Paris failed to do was find the end zone. Despite racking up over 300 yards of offense, the Musketeers settled for 5 FGs and 0 TDs.
If there was ever a week to let QB Christian Soldier open up the offense, this is it. The Berserkers are woefully thin in the secondary with only two human players on the roster – one of whom is inactive. With that in mind, the Musketeers should take to the air and find ways to get the ball into the hands of their talented WR corps.
Prediction:
Paris will be able to shut down the Oslo offense on sheer talent alone. With a tough game against Bari on the horizon, the Musketeers would love to shore up their offense. Expect a high-flying aerial assault on the Oslo secondary as Paris wins 29-3.
STOCKHOLM MEATBALLS (1-0) at MULTIPLE SCORGASMS (1-0)
The Meatballs got their season off on the right foot with a shutout victory over the Stampede. While the defense was impressive, the best news was the re-emergence of the offense. After a shaky pre-season, questions abounded about whether the Meatballs were going to take a step back offensively. But after great performances by QB Tyrone Slothrop and HBs Just Win and The Glow, the Meatballs breathed a sigh of relief.
The Scorgasms pulled out a huge OT victory over the favored Aggies in Week 1, setting the stage for this showdown between two unbeatens. The most impressive performer in the game for the Scorgasms was the cool hand of QB Jo’ Moxon. Unlike his INT plagued performances of last season, Moxon was calm and efficient in guiding the Scorgasm attack. He’ll need to build on that performance as he faces a Stockholm secondary that feasts on INTs.
Key to the game for the Scorgasms will be their ability to keep HB Randy Watson involved. If he is able to run the ball effectively, it will prevent the Meatballs from loading up against the pass and forcing Moxon’s hand.
Prediction:
The Scorgasms impressed me with their gutsy win over the Aggies in Week 1. A talented offense and balanced defense will keep them in the game. But ultimately, Stockholm has the edge in a couple of key areas that will ultimately decide the game. Expect a close Meatball victory, 19-9.
FRANKFURT HEAT (1-0) at SANFORD POLICEMAN (0-1)
Sanford’s official transition to gutted team was completed this week, clearing the roster of nearly every human player and replacing them with CPU ones. The results won’t be pretty this week as the HEAT come into town looking to go 2-0.
The HEAT were impressive in their overtime win against defending the defending Zeta Champion Destroyers. This week it won’t take much for them to win but with a big showdown against the Trolls on the horizon, the HEAT will have to be careful not to wear themselves out.
Prediction:
It won’t be pretty. HEAT will win in the triple digit fashion.
DFOOLS ALLSTARS (0-1) at KORB DESTROYERS (0-1)
The Allstars got beat up last week against Valencia, surrendering over 500 yards of offense – 405 of those yards through the air. Offensively, the Allstars were stymied all day by a tough Billy Goat secondary that forced QB Shane Tessem to throw 2 Picks and only complete 50% of his passes. Things won’t get easier this week for Tessem as the Destroyers powerful defense lines up across from him.
The Destroyers dropped a heartbreaker to the HEAT in Week 1. Despite causing 5 turnovers, the Destroyer defense was more porous than normal. After giving up over 400 yards, Korb will be looking to make a statement against the Allstars. Unlike the HEAT, the Allstars don’t have the offensive weapons to really threaten the Korb D, so expect the Destroyers to send waves of blitzes and take more chances this week.
Prediction:
Offensively, Korb would like to get QB Mighty Quinn back on solid ground after a shaky season premier. Quinn should have plenty of opportunities to right the ship against the Allstar defense. Look for Korb to take this one in a big way, 40-0.
ROTTERDAM ROUGHNECKS (0-1) at VALENCIA BILLY GOATS (1-0)
Just a few days ago this promised to be a great match-up. However, with the sad news that Dublin will be stepping away from Valencia, things have changed. The Billy Goats have been completely gutted and all the human players have been replaced by CPU ones with levels of 1-4. For the Roughnecks, this is good news as they should be able to put the sting of their loss to Paris behind them quickly.
However, with such a tremendous edge on paper, it’s unlikely the Roughnecks will be able to use this game to work out the kinks in their offensive and defensive playbooks. Additionally, with a huge game looming against Korb, the Roughnecks will be more concerned with preserving energy.
Prediction:
This one will get ugly. Really ugly.
*** GAME OF THE WEEK ***
RIVALS MAINBOARD PIMPS (1-0) at ROHRHEIM STAMPEDE (0-1)
This game boasts not only a match-up of two of the best teams in Zeta, it’s also a great grudge match. When the Pimps first entered Zeta, there was an awful lot of give and take between the Pimps and members of the Stampede, setting up what could be a fun show down. It’s put up or shut up time – always fun.
The Pimps come into the game rolling after a huge 30-3 win over the Trolls. The margin of victory raised eyebrows around the league as the Pimps dominated in the trenches and racked up impressive numbers on both sides of the ball. The Stampede come into the game trying to sort out their offense after suffering a 27-0 opening day loss.
On paper, both these teams match up very well against each other. The Pimps’ O-Line will find the Stampede defensive line more of a challenge than the Trolls, but they should still be able to open some holes. While getting HBs Lee Suggs and Craig Cooper involved early and often will be important, QB Phillipp Pohl should take some shots down field as the Pimp WRs have an edge over the suspect Stampede CBs. WR Preston Parker and company should be able to find room to operate and thus make some big plays.
For the Stampede, they will have to focus on shutting down the running game better than they did in Week 1. With two great HBs on the roster, the Pimps will come at the Stampede in waves. Expect a heavy blitz package to counter this, putting a lot of pressure on the men in the secondary to make plays. Offensively, the Stampede will have problems running the ball against the stout front seven of the Pimps. Thus, it will be up to QB Gunn Slinger and WRs. ESPN Highlight and Sebastian Jackson to make plays and keep the chains moving.
Prediction:
With a lot of pride on the line in this one, expect a great defensive battle. I would be surprised if either team is able to build a large lead as both defenses have a tremendous amount of talent. Still, I think the Pimps’ style of play matches up well with the Stampede and should allow them to find more holes. Expect a Pimp victory, 13-6.
