PRESS RELEASE!
NFL Fanatix 4/9/2008
Fanatix QB Tiger LionWings Trains Apes!
In a move that shocked the Eastern European Pro League, NFL Fanatix rookie QB Tiger LionWings announced yesterday that he'd secretly been training primates to play football at a private facility in Oregon.
"When I came to this team I said we'd work hard to win games. I figured dispite playing hard, training hard, and working our tails off we needed a little something extra to get us a better shot at that last playoff spot. I looked around and tried to find something we could offer that no other teams had. That's when it hit me, we need a freakin' GORILLA out there. A REAL one! An ANGRY ONE!" TLW said to reporters.
"I talked to the owner, and Coaches and after a few wierd looks, they said gave me the ok. They trust me and I think it'll pay off. This Angry Gorilla is intimidating, strong, and fast and is getting better all the time."
When asked what the biggest challanges were in training a simian to play pro sports TLW responded, "Well, the lack of opposable thumbs made it difficult to carry the ball and therefor was the biggest reason to make him a lineman. But we have a rapport, He's guarding me. Who wouldn't want a freakin' Angry Gorilla guarding them."
I asked him what was next? A chimp at scat back? TLW responded "Good one, but no. Maybe Baboons on the backfeild? But seriously, I AM on the lookout to get my hands on a Bigfoot."
Angry Gorilla's first game is set for tomorrow against the Baltic Sea Monkeys.
NFL Fanatix 4/9/2008
Fanatix QB Tiger LionWings Trains Apes!
In a move that shocked the Eastern European Pro League, NFL Fanatix rookie QB Tiger LionWings announced yesterday that he'd secretly been training primates to play football at a private facility in Oregon.
"When I came to this team I said we'd work hard to win games. I figured dispite playing hard, training hard, and working our tails off we needed a little something extra to get us a better shot at that last playoff spot. I looked around and tried to find something we could offer that no other teams had. That's when it hit me, we need a freakin' GORILLA out there. A REAL one! An ANGRY ONE!" TLW said to reporters.
"I talked to the owner, and Coaches and after a few wierd looks, they said gave me the ok. They trust me and I think it'll pay off. This Angry Gorilla is intimidating, strong, and fast and is getting better all the time."
When asked what the biggest challanges were in training a simian to play pro sports TLW responded, "Well, the lack of opposable thumbs made it difficult to carry the ball and therefor was the biggest reason to make him a lineman. But we have a rapport, He's guarding me. Who wouldn't want a freakin' Angry Gorilla guarding them."
I asked him what was next? A chimp at scat back? TLW responded "Good one, but no. Maybe Baboons on the backfeild? But seriously, I AM on the lookout to get my hands on a Bigfoot."
Angry Gorilla's first game is set for tomorrow against the Baltic Sea Monkeys.
