Official USA Pro Rankings*
1. Hollywood Stars: Known and loved throughout GLB and the world, Stars have everything: wealth, power, fame, good looks, and access to all of the trendy hotspots. Women want them and men want to BE them. Far and away the best in the field.
2. Chicago Hedgehogs: Adept at boogieing and defeating Dr. Robotnik, it is difficult to find fault with this team... But can they live up to Jordan's legacy?
3. New Orleans Hoodoo Voodoo: New Orleans is the defending Super Bowl champion. Combine that with powerful voodoo and the most dangerous weapon the world has known (Ice Nine), they are a force to be reckoned with.
4. New Jersey Battalion: I don't hate these guys.
5. Corpus Christi Illegal Aliens: I don't hate these guys a little bit less than I don't hate the last team.
6. SOUTH GEORGIA GROWL: This club suffers from a terrible addiction. If this team can pull together and overcome this affliction, they could rise from mediocrity to upper-mediocrity.
7. A Team About Nothing: I used to watch Seinfeld. It was a hit-or-miss show, but when it was on... it was ON. Same with these guys, I imagine.
8. Shaolin Wu Tang Killa Bees: This team has a cool name, which clearly counts for something. The last playoff spot comes down to the 5th tiebreaker, which of course is name-coolness.
9. Alkatraz Assassins: While I personally feel that assassinating people is an admirable profession, a PR debacle prevents this team from operating at its full potential. Damn hippies.
10. Nebraska Tornados: A solid club, but their promotion into a much better conference (the Big 10, ldo) will leave them behind the curve.
11. 8 Mile Assault: Cryptotich is on this team. Apparently he doesn't know that in GLB a team's record is inversely proportional to the average length of it's agents' posts. Hence all of the "ldo", "no u", "inb4", "^", ":emoticon:", etc in WL.
12. Baton Rouge Buccaneers: Never heard of them.
13. Ontario Ice Weasels: Never heard of them a little bit less than I never heard of the last team.
14. Monmouth Evil Monkeys: Never heard of them even a little bit lesser than I never heard of the last team.
15. The Eastern Conference: I guess this team used to be good. But they haven't done anything of note in the past couple of seasons. I hear they might be gutting.
Richmond Rebel Retreat: We are all Quitnesses.
Richmond's sister: Trailer trash, imo.
*rankings are in no way official. I simply listed teams in the order I like them.
1. Hollywood Stars: Known and loved throughout GLB and the world, Stars have everything: wealth, power, fame, good looks, and access to all of the trendy hotspots. Women want them and men want to BE them. Far and away the best in the field.
2. Chicago Hedgehogs: Adept at boogieing and defeating Dr. Robotnik, it is difficult to find fault with this team... But can they live up to Jordan's legacy?
3. New Orleans Hoodoo Voodoo: New Orleans is the defending Super Bowl champion. Combine that with powerful voodoo and the most dangerous weapon the world has known (Ice Nine), they are a force to be reckoned with.
4. New Jersey Battalion: I don't hate these guys.
5. Corpus Christi Illegal Aliens: I don't hate these guys a little bit less than I don't hate the last team.
6. SOUTH GEORGIA GROWL: This club suffers from a terrible addiction. If this team can pull together and overcome this affliction, they could rise from mediocrity to upper-mediocrity.
7. A Team About Nothing: I used to watch Seinfeld. It was a hit-or-miss show, but when it was on... it was ON. Same with these guys, I imagine.
8. Shaolin Wu Tang Killa Bees: This team has a cool name, which clearly counts for something. The last playoff spot comes down to the 5th tiebreaker, which of course is name-coolness.
9. Alkatraz Assassins: While I personally feel that assassinating people is an admirable profession, a PR debacle prevents this team from operating at its full potential. Damn hippies.
10. Nebraska Tornados: A solid club, but their promotion into a much better conference (the Big 10, ldo) will leave them behind the curve.
11. 8 Mile Assault: Cryptotich is on this team. Apparently he doesn't know that in GLB a team's record is inversely proportional to the average length of it's agents' posts. Hence all of the "ldo", "no u", "inb4", "^", ":emoticon:", etc in WL.
12. Baton Rouge Buccaneers: Never heard of them.
13. Ontario Ice Weasels: Never heard of them a little bit less than I never heard of the last team.
14. Monmouth Evil Monkeys: Never heard of them even a little bit lesser than I never heard of the last team.
15. The Eastern Conference: I guess this team used to be good. But they haven't done anything of note in the past couple of seasons. I hear they might be gutting.
Richmond Rebel Retreat: We are all Quitnesses.
Richmond's sister: Trailer trash, imo.
*rankings are in no way official. I simply listed teams in the order I like them.
