That creep can fuckin roll, man.
90 for 92 after W14 and now I have another team on my hit list for failing to meet my expectations: congrats to the Baden Bandits, now I want you all to commit die. Sadly I don’t see any way we’ll draw them in the first round, so I’ll just have to repress that anger. Longview: when I die of a coronary in my fifties, it’ll be all your fault, Bandits. Think about that.
ALPHA CHAMPIONSHIP PREVIEW
Naples Purple Nurples (15-0) @ Parma Panthers (14-1): Finally, the game everybody in lolAlpha’s been looking forward to all season arrives. P cool it happens in W16 too, even though I don’t *think* it’ll change anything in terms of playoff seeding. Essentially this is just a game to determine who gets home field in the likely event they face each other again in the conf championship, no? NPN has dominant the entire season, only ever trailing twice and they ultimately won both those games by 10 points. Their strength is their defense - they’ve got so many sacks their rush D actually totals a negative number - and their pass D is second in the league in terms of yards allowed. Parma, on the other hand, wins on the strength of their offense, leading Alpha in both passing and rushing yardage totals. That’s not to mean their defense isn’t good, by no means. In fact, their pass D leads the league in INTs, pick sixes and PDs.
NPN’s hungry for gold and revenge (and maybe some bananas too?) after Parma ousted them from postseason play last season, however Parma was a incompletion away from rep’ing WEPL Alpha in WL last season and I think they may get it done this season. Parma by 3.
GOTW
Warsaw Wolves (12-3) @ The Legion (10-5): I don’t know why but something tells me this one could be close. If they get some depth, The Legion are clearly a team to watch for next season’s edition of WEPL, as they’ve beaten everybody except the current top 4 teams. That loss to Dresden is puzzling, and makes it hard for me to think they’ll give Warsaw a game, but for whatever reason my feeling is this one will be a battle. tbh if there’s a team of higher levels that goes down to a lower-leveled group, Warsaw’s probably that team. (see: W14 near defeat). Warsaw by 7.
Alpine (14-1) @ Bath Killer Bees (12-3): Win or lose, BKB is locked into that 4/5 first round game, the only variable is against whom. Should Warsaw lose, it’s them; otherwise it’ll be Lyon, who they took down a couple games ago in a helluva battle. That ought to be one of the better opening round playoff games and I wonder if the Bees haven’t written this one off to start getting ready for that one....? tbh it’s what I’d so, because sadly, that Alpine pass attack looks p unstoppable right now. Alpine by 14.
The Evil Empire (15-0) @ Dresden Demons (9-6): The only chance Dresden has at the postseason is a win here and a loss by the Bandits to Black Sea. Is it possible? Yeah, anything’s possible. Will it happen? Doubtful. If that Demons team does go the way of the Dodo bird, and it sure looks like it will, best wishes to all those involved. Evil by 42.
Lyon Winemakers (12-3) @ Munich Keggers (5-10): Munich has a tough time stopping anybody, particularly those w/ strong ground games... that bodes disaster for this one, as that two-headed monster who I’ve dubbed CrashTed is on pace for damn near 7k rush yards. Lyon by 49.
Black Sea Raiders (6-9) @ Baden Bandits (9-6): Congratulations to Baden for making the playoffs in their first season in Pro. Your reward? A round one matchup with Alpine. Good luck with that. Baden by 34.
Hamburg Parrots (8-7) @ Rome Titans (0-15): Parrots win and advance to the dance for the third straight season. Candidly I am NOT looking forward to playing you guys again. I absolutely loath trying to GP for Slow Roll. Parrots by 255+.
Bjelasnica Red Star (4-11) @ Belfast Commandos (4-11): This could actually be a p entertaining game, if you like bad dotball. lolharsh. Belfast by 20.
Stockholm Meatballs (1-14) @ Rome Arcani (1-14): One team will win, but 0 cares. Here’s hoping the Meatballs can close out their run with a W. Stockholm by .000000001.
xoxoxo
90 for 92 after W14 and now I have another team on my hit list for failing to meet my expectations: congrats to the Baden Bandits, now I want you all to commit die. Sadly I don’t see any way we’ll draw them in the first round, so I’ll just have to repress that anger. Longview: when I die of a coronary in my fifties, it’ll be all your fault, Bandits. Think about that.
ALPHA CHAMPIONSHIP PREVIEW
Naples Purple Nurples (15-0) @ Parma Panthers (14-1): Finally, the game everybody in lolAlpha’s been looking forward to all season arrives. P cool it happens in W16 too, even though I don’t *think* it’ll change anything in terms of playoff seeding. Essentially this is just a game to determine who gets home field in the likely event they face each other again in the conf championship, no? NPN has dominant the entire season, only ever trailing twice and they ultimately won both those games by 10 points. Their strength is their defense - they’ve got so many sacks their rush D actually totals a negative number - and their pass D is second in the league in terms of yards allowed. Parma, on the other hand, wins on the strength of their offense, leading Alpha in both passing and rushing yardage totals. That’s not to mean their defense isn’t good, by no means. In fact, their pass D leads the league in INTs, pick sixes and PDs.
NPN’s hungry for gold and revenge (and maybe some bananas too?) after Parma ousted them from postseason play last season, however Parma was a incompletion away from rep’ing WEPL Alpha in WL last season and I think they may get it done this season. Parma by 3.
GOTW
Warsaw Wolves (12-3) @ The Legion (10-5): I don’t know why but something tells me this one could be close. If they get some depth, The Legion are clearly a team to watch for next season’s edition of WEPL, as they’ve beaten everybody except the current top 4 teams. That loss to Dresden is puzzling, and makes it hard for me to think they’ll give Warsaw a game, but for whatever reason my feeling is this one will be a battle. tbh if there’s a team of higher levels that goes down to a lower-leveled group, Warsaw’s probably that team. (see: W14 near defeat). Warsaw by 7.
Alpine (14-1) @ Bath Killer Bees (12-3): Win or lose, BKB is locked into that 4/5 first round game, the only variable is against whom. Should Warsaw lose, it’s them; otherwise it’ll be Lyon, who they took down a couple games ago in a helluva battle. That ought to be one of the better opening round playoff games and I wonder if the Bees haven’t written this one off to start getting ready for that one....? tbh it’s what I’d so, because sadly, that Alpine pass attack looks p unstoppable right now. Alpine by 14.
The Evil Empire (15-0) @ Dresden Demons (9-6): The only chance Dresden has at the postseason is a win here and a loss by the Bandits to Black Sea. Is it possible? Yeah, anything’s possible. Will it happen? Doubtful. If that Demons team does go the way of the Dodo bird, and it sure looks like it will, best wishes to all those involved. Evil by 42.
Lyon Winemakers (12-3) @ Munich Keggers (5-10): Munich has a tough time stopping anybody, particularly those w/ strong ground games... that bodes disaster for this one, as that two-headed monster who I’ve dubbed CrashTed is on pace for damn near 7k rush yards. Lyon by 49.
Black Sea Raiders (6-9) @ Baden Bandits (9-6): Congratulations to Baden for making the playoffs in their first season in Pro. Your reward? A round one matchup with Alpine. Good luck with that. Baden by 34.
Hamburg Parrots (8-7) @ Rome Titans (0-15): Parrots win and advance to the dance for the third straight season. Candidly I am NOT looking forward to playing you guys again. I absolutely loath trying to GP for Slow Roll. Parrots by 255+.
Bjelasnica Red Star (4-11) @ Belfast Commandos (4-11): This could actually be a p entertaining game, if you like bad dotball. lolharsh. Belfast by 20.
Stockholm Meatballs (1-14) @ Rome Arcani (1-14): One team will win, but 0 cares. Here’s hoping the Meatballs can close out their run with a W. Stockholm by .000000001.
xoxoxo
But I'm not counting out any of the playoff teams to pull a shocker--there are too many coordinators who I know are good in those 5-8 seeds.
