Ok, sorry about missing the last three games, but work really has bared down on me the past week and I been too dog tired to get anything done for you guys.
But…………….
……………….THE SPORT’S PAGE IS BACK!!!!
I took Tigroklaws advice and quit my job, applied for unemployment and food stamps and am living the good life as a member of unemployed society so I could finish up this seasons Sport’s Page!
Thanks for setting me straight, T-Klaws!
Well it’s week 14, chuckle heads!
And if you think your season is on the brink of extinction.
If you think it is almost over for you.
If you think you’ve been knocked down, just get up again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LODkVkpaVQA
So either step up and fight for your season or step out and fight for another beer to drown your sorrows in!
Readers Mail bag!
This is the second half Readers Mail Bag!
You know how it works.
Tigroklaws from Belgrade faxed us this…………..
Originally posted by Tigroklaws
been looking forward to the recent Sports pages but no luck.....hopefully they'll make a reappearance soon. GL everyone tomorrow
You are in luck, because……IT’S HERE!!!!!
And Lemdog and Evileyez sent us this video saying………….
Originally posted by lemdog
Originally posted by evileyez
may be choking on his banana? anyone live near???
he may be choking on my.....
I WAS YOUNG AND I NEEDED THE MONEY!!!!!......I told you that already!
Geez, try a little experimentation in college and they never let you live it down.
And from Munich, the Big Ragu hisself writes to us………
Originally posted by BigRagu DTD
Originally posted by Smiling Assasain
LOL
No - I been working a lot this week and haven't had any time at all, but I'm working on a new issue right now.
Sorry about that. Work is a bitch right now.
I work with my wife to..........
That is funny shit, but seriously………………it's no fun at all.
GMathias from Stewart writes, “Dear SA…………
Originally posted by GMathiasf
love the theme song edition, but please no more AC/DC songs
Ok, how about this song?
http://doiop.com/20l72m
From our friends in Portland, JT writes to us…………
Originally posted by JTsNiners
Poop Dick Day
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Sturge, all the way in Sofia, e-mailed us to say…………
Originally posted by sturge
Hard to believe the Ninja's were on the verge of being sent to the Hot Chick Lounge on week 1.
I don’t know where you are getting your information, but remember………
“The Sport’s Page retains the right to change it’s mind at anytime and therefore be right at ALL times.”
Don’t you just love disclaimers?
DLux from Arkadak wrote in to tell us…………..
Originally posted by dlux67
Don't take this the wrong way - love your work, but are you trying to slip one by us this week: http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2004/09Nicole/Nicole-01.jpg - that's Nickolas and not Nicole....
The Sport’s Page, serving the alternative community since issue 8.
And from our old pal, Numone in the Ukraine, comes this e-mail saying……….
Originally posted by numone
btw:
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 18, 2010 12:54:18
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 18, 2010 12:49:25
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 18, 2010 12:46:51
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 18, 2010 12:43:30
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 18, 2010 12:41:56
1 step forward, 4 steps back.... you sound like the lions....
Honestly, somebody’s been spending a little too much time stalking me and peeking through my bedroom window.
Next time you want to peep on me through my bedroom window, let me know and I’ll leave the curtains open.
I love an audience.
And Evileyez from Hellas stopped by to say…………
Originally posted by evileyez
Gawd .. why can't we get in the Hot Chick Lounge? How bad do we have to suck?
Well sir, it’s not a question of how BAD you sack, but how GOOD you suck.
See me after class.
And from our stalking buddy DLux in Arkadak comes this e-mail…………….
Originally posted by dlux67
This is a Nicole I can get behind... http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2004/04Nicole/Nicole-09.jpg
Huzzah!
And for 100 flex, I can arrange it.
See, the Sport’s Page is bringing people together all over the world.
And Thundercat from Belgrade wanted to ask…………..
Originally posted by Thundercat_12
SA I just want to throw this out their now, if any of the teams im on (Ares, Stirling, or Belgrade) make their way to hot chick lounge (which I hope they dont) but if they do can I request Hot blonde chicks. I hope you take requests! Thanks!
I have tried every which way to entice the Blaze into the Lounge, but so far to no avail.
If a promise of blondes in the Lounge is what it takes, then so be it.
Well here’s a PM from JP90 all the way from C-Town, the Sunshine State. He says……..
Originally posted by youngJP90
These are the best ever nobody does these better
You have never been more right in your entire life, sir.
Lemdog from the great state of C-Town wanted to say…………..
Originally posted by lemdog
Yeah I haven't seen anything close to these, SA is a fucking pimp
“I’m fucking a pimp”?!
Just what the hell are you trying to say?!
If you were right here I’d find out where you live, ring your doorbell and run like hell!!!
And another thing, I would………….huh? ......what did you say?.................
................he said “SA is a fucking pimp” and not “SA is fucking a pimp”.................oh………….never mind.
I forgot to take my meds this morning.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
And that closes up the Readers Mail Bag before I get sued. Thanks for the comments, shit and support.
And please tell your friends about the Sport's Page. If I sell over 1000 subscriptions this season, I get a free year pass to MyMidgetLover.com!
So spread the word!
In or Out?
It’s getting close to the end and invitations are being sent out as we speak!
Invitations to the official EE Pro Season 14 Post Season Prom and Jamboree!
So let’s check out who official invitations have been sent to.
Alpha:
1) Short Bus Allstars
2) Sofia Spiders
3) Minsk Ninjas
4) Arkadak Arsenal
5) ?
6) ?
7) ?
8) ?
Zeta:
1) Stewart Ballers
2) Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
3) C-Town Hoodlums
4) ?
5) ?
6) ?
7) ?
8) ?
Hot Chick Lounge Membership Increases By One!
Well, this week another foe has fallen and joined the ranks in the Hot Chick Lounge.
Say good night to the Munich ManiAx. They attained their ninth loss and are out of the running for a playoff spot.
So according to section 12 A of sub-section XXII of the Sport’s Page rule book, they are to be automatically officially ushered into the Lounge.
We’ll see you next season ManiAx and as always…………
……………thanks for playing.
***SA’s Player of the Week***
Well this is a freakin’ first!
This is the first time I will ever have co-POW’s from different teams, but their performances in huge clutch games are well worth the praise!
Sofia HB Velocitor Starr had 336 yards rushing with 3 TD’s in a huge battle between two strong teams, the Spiders and Pests!
Great job, Mr. Starr!
And the co-POW is the Spider Pigs HB, Hung B. lodawaste!
Not only is he sportin’ ten inches of dangling death below da’ waist, but he helped carry his team to a much needed victory over the Vilnius Velociraptors that saved their season with a 238 yard rushing with 3 TD performance!
Kudos, Hung.
Kudos.
So here’s to you, Velocitor Starr and Hung B. lodawaste ………………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/GuinnessBeer.jpg
SALUTE!!
Is your team knocking on the playoffs door?
Or is your team getting knocked out?
Just another set of questions when you should be reading the Sport's Page, chuckle heads!!!
I believe one of our greatest President's said:
"There is nothing to fear, but fear itself! So..................
………………….LET’S DO THIS SHIT!!!"
You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.
****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
*#1 Short Bus Allstars (13-0) LW1 - Win #14 and counting!
If this team wants to get uppity and give you any trouble, just tell them to stay behind the yellow line.
Next opponent: #12 Munich ManiAx (4-9)
*#2 Sofia Spiders (11-2) LW2 - How does that old nursery rhyme go?
“Little Ms Hollywood sat down on a stool to eat lots of nice food.
When along came a Spider and sat down beside her and………..
…………..knocked the fool bitch up.”
That should be what happens to Hollywood in this game.
Next opponent: #15 Hollywood TimberWolves (1-12)
*#3 Minsk Ninjas (10-3) LW3 - It’s fightin’ time, in the GOW!
Next opponent: #4 Arkadak Arsenal (10-3)
*#4 Arkadak Arsenal (10-3) LW4 – Going to the GOW this week!
Next opponent: at #3 Minsk Ninjas (10-3)
#5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (9-4) LW5 - Need to get a win here. It could mean the difference between playing the Arsenal or the Short Bus in Round 1.
Next opponent: at #8 Sarajevo Black Hand (8-5)
#6 Old School (9-4) LW6 - Free win time for you guys! Yay!
Next opponent: #9 Ares Assassins (7-6)
#7 Buda Pests (8-5) LW7 - The last 3 games should all be wins for you guys, so 11-5 here we come!
Next opponent: at #11 Ukraine Freight Train (5-8)
#8 Sarajevo Black Hand (8-5) LW8 - Win or lose, you guys should send a nice basket of bath products to the Ares Assassins.
You know, some bath beads and oils and maybe add some bubble bath and skin softeners in there too.
Next opponent: #5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (9-4)
#9 Ares Assassins (7-6) LW9 - And another one down.
Next opponent: at #6 Old School (9-4)
#10 Stirling Four Horsemen (5-8) LW10 - Well, this should be your 6th and final win of the season. The last 2 games won’t be pleasant, but you guys will get to go outon your own terms this season. Great effort, but the countdown begins.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jK-NcRmVcw
Next opponent: at #10 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (5-8)
#11 Ukraine Freight Train (5-8) LW11 - Uh-oh. If this is to be your ninth loss, then you know what comes next.
Next opponent: #7 Buda Pests (8-5)
#12 Munich ManiAx (4-9) LW12 - There goes loss number nine.
Sorry ManiAx, it was a valiant effort but now you guys need to get your game faces on to take on the many, many, many pitchers of beer waiting for you in the Hot Chick Lounge.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2005/04Jenny2/Jenny-20.jpg
Next opponent: at #1 Short Bus Allstars (13-0)
#10 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (5-8) LW13 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/05Eryn/Eryn-09.jpg
Next opponent: #10 Stirling Four Horsemen (5-8)
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (2-11) LW14 – Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/01Sydney/Sydney-10.jpg
Next opponent: #16 Saratov Catrades (0-13)
#15 Hollywood TimberWolves (1-12) LW15 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/01Nadia/Nadia-28.jpg
Next opponent: at #2 Sofia Spiders (11-2)
#16 Saratov Catrades (0-13) LW16 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/04AmyMaRie/AmyMarie-22.jpg
Next opponent: at #14 Vladivostok Voodoo (2-11)
*****WEEK 14 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
So I’ll keep track of my predictions week by week just to see if I am any dam good. In the Game of the Week's (GOW) I'll go up against my old pal, the On Line Magic 8 Ball http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/
Yes, I really do consult an On Line Magic 8 Ball.
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 5-3 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 5-3 Week 5: 5-3 Week 6: 7-1 Week 7: 7-1 Week 8: 6-2 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 8-0
Overall: 67-21
SA’s GOW: 7-4
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 4-7
#9 Ares Assassins (7-6) at #6 Old School (9-4) = Old School
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#7 Buda Pests (8-5) at #11 Ukraine Freight Train (5-8) = Buda Pests
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (9-4) at #8 Sarajevo Black Hand (8-5) = Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#4 Arkadak Arsenal (10-3) at #3 Minsk Ninjas (10-3) = Minsk Ninjas
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#12 Munich ManiAx (4-9) at #1 Short Bus Allstars (13-0) = Short Bus Allstars
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#15 Hollywood TimberWolves (1-12) at #2 Sofia Spiders (11-2) = Sofia Spiders
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#10 Stirling Four Horsemen (5-8) at #10 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (5-8) = Stirling Four Horsemen
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#16 Saratov Catrades (0-13) at #14 Vladivostok Voodoo (2-11) = Vladivostok Voodoo
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#4 Arkadak Arsenal (10-3) at #3 Minsk Ninjas (10-3) –
Are you serious?!?!
#3 vs #4 this late in the season?!?!
HELLS TO THE YEAH!!!!
Minsk vs Arkadak in the GOW!!
This is what THUNDER DOME is all about, bitches!!!
Two teams enter!
One team leaves!
This one will be decided by the US Board of Genitals Inspection.
They will be inspecting every male and female genitals on the team and they will be judging on Cleanliness, Creativity and Originality.
So drop trow, bitches!
Come on Bort! Get this sim thang rollin’!!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Arsenal beat the Ninjas?
8 Ball's answer: It is definitely so.
SA's Pick: Minsk Ninjas
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Arkadak Arsenal
20/48 beers! – Well hell, 20 beers is 20 beers and that’s good enough for me!
The Black Hand try to secure their playoff invitation against the Sea Wasps!
And the Ninjas and Arsenal go head to head in the GOW!! #3 vs #4 in a late season war of top 4 teams!
Could you really want for anything more this week?
I thought not.
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in the Alpha!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
*#1 Stewart Ballers (13-0) LW1 - An easy win this week, but Chernobyl and C-Town might cause a little chaffing in the saddle on your ride to 16-0 and the playoffs.
Next opponent: at #13 Bucharest Warriors (2-11)
*#2 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (12-1) LW2 - Rome and Vilnius are the only two strong teams left on the schedule, in order to keep that #2 ranking into the playoffs, you may need to win all three games.
Next opponent: #10 Rome Raiders (6-7)
*#3 C-Town Hoodlums (12-1) LW3 - It’s back to the GOW and Thunder Dome for you guys!
Next opponent: #5 Portland Niners (8-5)
#4 Vilnius Velociraptors (9-4) LW4 - Ok, so the Vilnius situation looks like this.
Jeff City and the Revolution are best bet wins. But Stryden could be an interesting game.
If you want to move up you need to win all three games and hope Stryden losses one other game besides your game with them.
Otherwise you need to win just stay #4.
The best news is that if you win this week, you are invited to the prom and nobody can knock you out.
Next opponent: at #9 Jefferson City Bucks (6-7)
#5 Portland Niners (8-5) LW7 - GOW for you guys this week!
Next opponent: at #3 C-Town Hoodlums (12-1)
#6 Chernobyl Aftermath (8-5) LW5 - Looking at your last 3 games, you guys should be 10-6 by seasons end and that should be enough for a playoff spot. Just keep winning to make sure of it.
Next opponent: #15 Odessa Mojo (2-11)
#7 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (7-6) LW7 - Ok Spider Pigs, the schedule making gods have blessed you with 2 for sure wins in the last 3 games, but it’s Portland that could cause you some trouble.
Five teams are still running for the 7 and 8 spots and right now you are the leader of the pack.
So don’t fuck up!
Next opponent: #12 Hellas Hoplites (3-10)
#8 Buffalo WarZone (7-6) LW8 - Cape Town and Bucharest will give you guys an automatic nine wins and a win over Belgrade guarantees you 10 wins and an invite to the post season jamboree.
Just do it.
Next opponent: #11 Belgrade Blaze (6-7)
#9 Jefferson City Bucks (6-7) LW9 - Nice job coming back to 6-7 and the playoffs are still looming in your future as long as you win the rest of your games.
Lose just one and you’re done.
Next opponent: #4 Vilnius Velociraptors (9-4)
#10 Rome Raiders (6-7) LW10 - Oh, Rome. 3 losses in a row?
I leave you alone for three games and you wreck the car, burn down the house, your sister get knocked up and the dog is gone. That’s the last time I leave you guys in charge of your own destiny.
God how I loved that dog. Spot?.......Spot, where are you?......Here Spot!......
Next opponent: at #2 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (12-1)
#11 Belgrade Blaze (6-7) LW11 - Well somebody has been kicking some ass in the second half.
Only one loss thus far, and that was to the Ballers by 2 points.
It would be a shame to waste such a great second half by not making the playoffs.
So just win out and pray for the best. It’s really all you can do at this point.
Next opponent: at #8 Buffalo WarZone (7-6)
#12 Hellas Hoplites (3-10) LW12 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/02Athena/Athena-16.jpg
Next opponent: at #7 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (7-6)
#13 Bucharest Warriors (2-11) LW13 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/10Seanna/Seanna-32.jpg
Next opponent: #1 Stewart Ballers (13-0)
#14 Russian Revolution (2-11) LW14 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/11Jamie/Jamie-11.jpg
Next opponent: at #16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-13)
#15 Odessa Mojo (2-11) LW15 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/08Whitney/Whitney-07.jpg
Next opponent: at #6 Chernobyl Aftermath (8-5)
#16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-13) LW16 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/07Chanel/Chanel-13.jpg
Next opponent: #14 Russian Revolution (2-11)
*****WEEK 14 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 7-1 Week 3: 7-1 Week 4: 6-2 Week 5: 7-1 Week 6: 6-2 Week 7: 7-1 week 8: 6-2 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 5-3
Overall: 69-19
SA’s GOW: 8-3
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 6-5
#4 Vilnius Velociraptors (9-4) at #9 Jefferson City Bucks (6-7) = Vilnius Velociraptors
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#5 Portland Niners (8-5) at #3 C-Town Hoodlums (12-1) = C-Town Hoodlums
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#10 Rome Raiders (6-7) at #2 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (12-1) = Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#11 Belgrade Blaze (6-7) at #8 Buffalo WarZone (7-6) = Buffalo WarZone
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#12 Hellas Hoplites (3-10) at #7 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (7-6) = Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#15 Odessa Mojo (2-11) at #6 Chernobyl Aftermath (8-5) = Chernobyl Aftermath
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#1 Stewart Ballers (13-0) at #13 Bucharest Warriors (2-11) = Stewart Ballers
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#14 Russian Revolution (2-11) at #16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-13) = Russian Revolution
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#5 Portland Niners (8-5) at #3 C-Town Hoodlums (12-1) –
Portland!
C-Town!
Two rival cities that have fought each other since the ancient Roman times!
C-Town wants to live up to being Hoodlums and mug the Niners for a win!
The Niners want to live up to their name of being…….uhm, Niners……….I guess.
But they are the best Niners that they can possibly be!
This time in Thunder Dome, we will have our very first ever Floater Match!
Each team will take turns taking a dump and flushing, the first team to get a floater, loses!
The floater will represent the crap team you are for losing.
Each team will be supplied with a supply of Ex-lax so we get maximum effect.
Ok Bort! Sim this funky game, white boy!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Niners beat the Hoodlums?
8 Ball's answer: It is certain.
SA's Pick: C-Town Hoodlums
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Portland Niners
23/48 beers! – 23 beers this late in the season! Well slap my ass and call me Mary, this is a great week for all of Zeta!
Vilnius has been on a slide and wants to rectify their situation with a win and possibly a knockout blow to Jeff City!
The Rome Raiders will be fighting for their season in a match up against powerful Stryden! Can Davisd beat Goliath?
The Blaze and WarZone are fighting for that final playoff spot and whoever losses may just lose their season to boot!
And a Floater Match in the GOW?!?!
Hoodlums and Niners battle it out in a rankings battle that will have serious playoff implications!
I think I just might cry.
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!
But…………….
……………….THE SPORT’S PAGE IS BACK!!!!
I took Tigroklaws advice and quit my job, applied for unemployment and food stamps and am living the good life as a member of unemployed society so I could finish up this seasons Sport’s Page!
Thanks for setting me straight, T-Klaws!
Well it’s week 14, chuckle heads!
And if you think your season is on the brink of extinction.
If you think it is almost over for you.
If you think you’ve been knocked down, just get up again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LODkVkpaVQA
So either step up and fight for your season or step out and fight for another beer to drown your sorrows in!
Readers Mail bag!
This is the second half Readers Mail Bag!
You know how it works.
Tigroklaws from Belgrade faxed us this…………..
Originally posted by Tigroklaws
been looking forward to the recent Sports pages but no luck.....hopefully they'll make a reappearance soon. GL everyone tomorrow
You are in luck, because……IT’S HERE!!!!!
And Lemdog and Evileyez sent us this video saying………….
Originally posted by lemdog
Originally posted by evileyez
may be choking on his banana? anyone live near???
he may be choking on my.....
I WAS YOUNG AND I NEEDED THE MONEY!!!!!......I told you that already!
Geez, try a little experimentation in college and they never let you live it down.
And from Munich, the Big Ragu hisself writes to us………
Originally posted by BigRagu DTD
Originally posted by Smiling Assasain
LOL
No - I been working a lot this week and haven't had any time at all, but I'm working on a new issue right now.
Sorry about that. Work is a bitch right now.
I work with my wife to..........
That is funny shit, but seriously………………it's no fun at all.
GMathias from Stewart writes, “Dear SA…………
Originally posted by GMathiasf
love the theme song edition, but please no more AC/DC songs
Ok, how about this song?
http://doiop.com/20l72m
From our friends in Portland, JT writes to us…………
Originally posted by JTsNiners
Poop Dick Day
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Sturge, all the way in Sofia, e-mailed us to say…………
Originally posted by sturge
Hard to believe the Ninja's were on the verge of being sent to the Hot Chick Lounge on week 1.
I don’t know where you are getting your information, but remember………
“The Sport’s Page retains the right to change it’s mind at anytime and therefore be right at ALL times.”
Don’t you just love disclaimers?
DLux from Arkadak wrote in to tell us…………..
Originally posted by dlux67
Don't take this the wrong way - love your work, but are you trying to slip one by us this week: http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2004/09Nicole/Nicole-01.jpg - that's Nickolas and not Nicole....
The Sport’s Page, serving the alternative community since issue 8.
And from our old pal, Numone in the Ukraine, comes this e-mail saying……….
Originally posted by numone
btw:
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 18, 2010 12:54:18
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 18, 2010 12:49:25
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 18, 2010 12:46:51
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 18, 2010 12:43:30
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 18, 2010 12:41:56
1 step forward, 4 steps back.... you sound like the lions....
Honestly, somebody’s been spending a little too much time stalking me and peeking through my bedroom window.
Next time you want to peep on me through my bedroom window, let me know and I’ll leave the curtains open.
I love an audience.
And Evileyez from Hellas stopped by to say…………
Originally posted by evileyez
Gawd .. why can't we get in the Hot Chick Lounge?
How bad do we have to suck?Well sir, it’s not a question of how BAD you sack, but how GOOD you suck.
See me after class.
And from our stalking buddy DLux in Arkadak comes this e-mail…………….
Originally posted by dlux67
This is a Nicole I can get behind... http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2004/04Nicole/Nicole-09.jpg
Huzzah!
And for 100 flex, I can arrange it.
See, the Sport’s Page is bringing people together all over the world.
And Thundercat from Belgrade wanted to ask…………..
Originally posted by Thundercat_12
SA I just want to throw this out their now, if any of the teams im on (Ares, Stirling, or Belgrade) make their way to hot chick lounge (which I hope they dont) but if they do can I request Hot blonde chicks. I hope you take requests! Thanks!
I have tried every which way to entice the Blaze into the Lounge, but so far to no avail.
If a promise of blondes in the Lounge is what it takes, then so be it.
Well here’s a PM from JP90 all the way from C-Town, the Sunshine State. He says……..
Originally posted by youngJP90
These are the best ever nobody does these better
You have never been more right in your entire life, sir.
Lemdog from the great state of C-Town wanted to say…………..
Originally posted by lemdog
Yeah I haven't seen anything close to these, SA is a fucking pimp
“I’m fucking a pimp”?!
Just what the hell are you trying to say?!
If you were right here I’d find out where you live, ring your doorbell and run like hell!!!
And another thing, I would………….huh? ......what did you say?.................
................he said “SA is a fucking pimp” and not “SA is fucking a pimp”.................oh………….never mind.
I forgot to take my meds this morning.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
And that closes up the Readers Mail Bag before I get sued. Thanks for the comments, shit and support.
And please tell your friends about the Sport's Page. If I sell over 1000 subscriptions this season, I get a free year pass to MyMidgetLover.com!
So spread the word!
In or Out?
It’s getting close to the end and invitations are being sent out as we speak!
Invitations to the official EE Pro Season 14 Post Season Prom and Jamboree!
So let’s check out who official invitations have been sent to.
Alpha:
1) Short Bus Allstars
2) Sofia Spiders
3) Minsk Ninjas
4) Arkadak Arsenal
5) ?
6) ?
7) ?
8) ?
Zeta:
1) Stewart Ballers
2) Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
3) C-Town Hoodlums
4) ?
5) ?
6) ?
7) ?
8) ?
Hot Chick Lounge Membership Increases By One!
Well, this week another foe has fallen and joined the ranks in the Hot Chick Lounge.
Say good night to the Munich ManiAx. They attained their ninth loss and are out of the running for a playoff spot.
So according to section 12 A of sub-section XXII of the Sport’s Page rule book, they are to be automatically officially ushered into the Lounge.
We’ll see you next season ManiAx and as always…………
……………thanks for playing.
***SA’s Player of the Week***
Well this is a freakin’ first!
This is the first time I will ever have co-POW’s from different teams, but their performances in huge clutch games are well worth the praise!
Sofia HB Velocitor Starr had 336 yards rushing with 3 TD’s in a huge battle between two strong teams, the Spiders and Pests!
Great job, Mr. Starr!
And the co-POW is the Spider Pigs HB, Hung B. lodawaste!
Not only is he sportin’ ten inches of dangling death below da’ waist, but he helped carry his team to a much needed victory over the Vilnius Velociraptors that saved their season with a 238 yard rushing with 3 TD performance!
Kudos, Hung.
Kudos.
So here’s to you, Velocitor Starr and Hung B. lodawaste ………………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/GuinnessBeer.jpg
SALUTE!!
Is your team knocking on the playoffs door?
Or is your team getting knocked out?
Just another set of questions when you should be reading the Sport's Page, chuckle heads!!!
I believe one of our greatest President's said:
"There is nothing to fear, but fear itself! So..................
………………….LET’S DO THIS SHIT!!!"
You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.
****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
*#1 Short Bus Allstars (13-0) LW1 - Win #14 and counting!
If this team wants to get uppity and give you any trouble, just tell them to stay behind the yellow line.
Next opponent: #12 Munich ManiAx (4-9)
*#2 Sofia Spiders (11-2) LW2 - How does that old nursery rhyme go?
“Little Ms Hollywood sat down on a stool to eat lots of nice food.
When along came a Spider and sat down beside her and………..
…………..knocked the fool bitch up.”
That should be what happens to Hollywood in this game.
Next opponent: #15 Hollywood TimberWolves (1-12)
*#3 Minsk Ninjas (10-3) LW3 - It’s fightin’ time, in the GOW!
Next opponent: #4 Arkadak Arsenal (10-3)
*#4 Arkadak Arsenal (10-3) LW4 – Going to the GOW this week!
Next opponent: at #3 Minsk Ninjas (10-3)
#5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (9-4) LW5 - Need to get a win here. It could mean the difference between playing the Arsenal or the Short Bus in Round 1.
Next opponent: at #8 Sarajevo Black Hand (8-5)
#6 Old School (9-4) LW6 - Free win time for you guys! Yay!
Next opponent: #9 Ares Assassins (7-6)
#7 Buda Pests (8-5) LW7 - The last 3 games should all be wins for you guys, so 11-5 here we come!
Next opponent: at #11 Ukraine Freight Train (5-8)
#8 Sarajevo Black Hand (8-5) LW8 - Win or lose, you guys should send a nice basket of bath products to the Ares Assassins.
You know, some bath beads and oils and maybe add some bubble bath and skin softeners in there too.
Next opponent: #5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (9-4)
#9 Ares Assassins (7-6) LW9 - And another one down.
Next opponent: at #6 Old School (9-4)
#10 Stirling Four Horsemen (5-8) LW10 - Well, this should be your 6th and final win of the season. The last 2 games won’t be pleasant, but you guys will get to go outon your own terms this season. Great effort, but the countdown begins.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jK-NcRmVcw
Next opponent: at #10 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (5-8)
#11 Ukraine Freight Train (5-8) LW11 - Uh-oh. If this is to be your ninth loss, then you know what comes next.
Next opponent: #7 Buda Pests (8-5)
#12 Munich ManiAx (4-9) LW12 - There goes loss number nine.
Sorry ManiAx, it was a valiant effort but now you guys need to get your game faces on to take on the many, many, many pitchers of beer waiting for you in the Hot Chick Lounge.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2005/04Jenny2/Jenny-20.jpg
Next opponent: at #1 Short Bus Allstars (13-0)
#10 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (5-8) LW13 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/05Eryn/Eryn-09.jpg
Next opponent: #10 Stirling Four Horsemen (5-8)
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (2-11) LW14 – Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/01Sydney/Sydney-10.jpg
Next opponent: #16 Saratov Catrades (0-13)
#15 Hollywood TimberWolves (1-12) LW15 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/01Nadia/Nadia-28.jpg
Next opponent: at #2 Sofia Spiders (11-2)
#16 Saratov Catrades (0-13) LW16 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/04AmyMaRie/AmyMarie-22.jpg
Next opponent: at #14 Vladivostok Voodoo (2-11)
*****WEEK 14 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
So I’ll keep track of my predictions week by week just to see if I am any dam good. In the Game of the Week's (GOW) I'll go up against my old pal, the On Line Magic 8 Ball http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/
Yes, I really do consult an On Line Magic 8 Ball.
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 5-3 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 5-3 Week 5: 5-3 Week 6: 7-1 Week 7: 7-1 Week 8: 6-2 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 8-0
Overall: 67-21
SA’s GOW: 7-4
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 4-7
#9 Ares Assassins (7-6) at #6 Old School (9-4) = Old School
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#7 Buda Pests (8-5) at #11 Ukraine Freight Train (5-8) = Buda Pests
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#5 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (9-4) at #8 Sarajevo Black Hand (8-5) = Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#4 Arkadak Arsenal (10-3) at #3 Minsk Ninjas (10-3) = Minsk Ninjas
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#12 Munich ManiAx (4-9) at #1 Short Bus Allstars (13-0) = Short Bus Allstars
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#15 Hollywood TimberWolves (1-12) at #2 Sofia Spiders (11-2) = Sofia Spiders
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#10 Stirling Four Horsemen (5-8) at #10 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (5-8) = Stirling Four Horsemen
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#16 Saratov Catrades (0-13) at #14 Vladivostok Voodoo (2-11) = Vladivostok Voodoo
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#4 Arkadak Arsenal (10-3) at #3 Minsk Ninjas (10-3) –
Are you serious?!?!
#3 vs #4 this late in the season?!?!
HELLS TO THE YEAH!!!!
Minsk vs Arkadak in the GOW!!
This is what THUNDER DOME is all about, bitches!!!
Two teams enter!
One team leaves!
This one will be decided by the US Board of Genitals Inspection.
They will be inspecting every male and female genitals on the team and they will be judging on Cleanliness, Creativity and Originality.
So drop trow, bitches!
Come on Bort! Get this sim thang rollin’!!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Arsenal beat the Ninjas?
8 Ball's answer: It is definitely so.
SA's Pick: Minsk Ninjas
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Arkadak Arsenal
20/48 beers! – Well hell, 20 beers is 20 beers and that’s good enough for me!
The Black Hand try to secure their playoff invitation against the Sea Wasps!
And the Ninjas and Arsenal go head to head in the GOW!! #3 vs #4 in a late season war of top 4 teams!
Could you really want for anything more this week?
I thought not.
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in the Alpha!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
*#1 Stewart Ballers (13-0) LW1 - An easy win this week, but Chernobyl and C-Town might cause a little chaffing in the saddle on your ride to 16-0 and the playoffs.
Next opponent: at #13 Bucharest Warriors (2-11)
*#2 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (12-1) LW2 - Rome and Vilnius are the only two strong teams left on the schedule, in order to keep that #2 ranking into the playoffs, you may need to win all three games.
Next opponent: #10 Rome Raiders (6-7)
*#3 C-Town Hoodlums (12-1) LW3 - It’s back to the GOW and Thunder Dome for you guys!
Next opponent: #5 Portland Niners (8-5)
#4 Vilnius Velociraptors (9-4) LW4 - Ok, so the Vilnius situation looks like this.
Jeff City and the Revolution are best bet wins. But Stryden could be an interesting game.
If you want to move up you need to win all three games and hope Stryden losses one other game besides your game with them.
Otherwise you need to win just stay #4.
The best news is that if you win this week, you are invited to the prom and nobody can knock you out.
Next opponent: at #9 Jefferson City Bucks (6-7)
#5 Portland Niners (8-5) LW7 - GOW for you guys this week!
Next opponent: at #3 C-Town Hoodlums (12-1)
#6 Chernobyl Aftermath (8-5) LW5 - Looking at your last 3 games, you guys should be 10-6 by seasons end and that should be enough for a playoff spot. Just keep winning to make sure of it.
Next opponent: #15 Odessa Mojo (2-11)
#7 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (7-6) LW7 - Ok Spider Pigs, the schedule making gods have blessed you with 2 for sure wins in the last 3 games, but it’s Portland that could cause you some trouble.
Five teams are still running for the 7 and 8 spots and right now you are the leader of the pack.
So don’t fuck up!
Next opponent: #12 Hellas Hoplites (3-10)
#8 Buffalo WarZone (7-6) LW8 - Cape Town and Bucharest will give you guys an automatic nine wins and a win over Belgrade guarantees you 10 wins and an invite to the post season jamboree.
Just do it.
Next opponent: #11 Belgrade Blaze (6-7)
#9 Jefferson City Bucks (6-7) LW9 - Nice job coming back to 6-7 and the playoffs are still looming in your future as long as you win the rest of your games.
Lose just one and you’re done.
Next opponent: #4 Vilnius Velociraptors (9-4)
#10 Rome Raiders (6-7) LW10 - Oh, Rome. 3 losses in a row?
I leave you alone for three games and you wreck the car, burn down the house, your sister get knocked up and the dog is gone. That’s the last time I leave you guys in charge of your own destiny.
God how I loved that dog. Spot?.......Spot, where are you?......Here Spot!......
Next opponent: at #2 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (12-1)
#11 Belgrade Blaze (6-7) LW11 - Well somebody has been kicking some ass in the second half.
Only one loss thus far, and that was to the Ballers by 2 points.
It would be a shame to waste such a great second half by not making the playoffs.
So just win out and pray for the best. It’s really all you can do at this point.
Next opponent: at #8 Buffalo WarZone (7-6)
#12 Hellas Hoplites (3-10) LW12 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/02Athena/Athena-16.jpg
Next opponent: at #7 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (7-6)
#13 Bucharest Warriors (2-11) LW13 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/10Seanna/Seanna-32.jpg
Next opponent: #1 Stewart Ballers (13-0)
#14 Russian Revolution (2-11) LW14 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/11Jamie/Jamie-11.jpg
Next opponent: at #16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-13)
#15 Odessa Mojo (2-11) LW15 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/08Whitney/Whitney-07.jpg
Next opponent: at #6 Chernobyl Aftermath (8-5)
#16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-13) LW16 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/07Chanel/Chanel-13.jpg
Next opponent: #14 Russian Revolution (2-11)
*****WEEK 14 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 7-1 Week 3: 7-1 Week 4: 6-2 Week 5: 7-1 Week 6: 6-2 Week 7: 7-1 week 8: 6-2 Week 9: 7-1 Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 5-3
Overall: 69-19
SA’s GOW: 8-3
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 6-5
#4 Vilnius Velociraptors (9-4) at #9 Jefferson City Bucks (6-7) = Vilnius Velociraptors
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#5 Portland Niners (8-5) at #3 C-Town Hoodlums (12-1) = C-Town Hoodlums
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#10 Rome Raiders (6-7) at #2 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (12-1) = Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#11 Belgrade Blaze (6-7) at #8 Buffalo WarZone (7-6) = Buffalo WarZone
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#12 Hellas Hoplites (3-10) at #7 Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs (7-6) = Nolaha K&B Purple Spider Pigs
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#15 Odessa Mojo (2-11) at #6 Chernobyl Aftermath (8-5) = Chernobyl Aftermath
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#1 Stewart Ballers (13-0) at #13 Bucharest Warriors (2-11) = Stewart Ballers
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#14 Russian Revolution (2-11) at #16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-13) = Russian Revolution
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#5 Portland Niners (8-5) at #3 C-Town Hoodlums (12-1) –
Portland!
C-Town!
Two rival cities that have fought each other since the ancient Roman times!
C-Town wants to live up to being Hoodlums and mug the Niners for a win!
The Niners want to live up to their name of being…….uhm, Niners……….I guess.
But they are the best Niners that they can possibly be!
This time in Thunder Dome, we will have our very first ever Floater Match!
Each team will take turns taking a dump and flushing, the first team to get a floater, loses!
The floater will represent the crap team you are for losing.
Each team will be supplied with a supply of Ex-lax so we get maximum effect.
Ok Bort! Sim this funky game, white boy!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Niners beat the Hoodlums?
8 Ball's answer: It is certain.
SA's Pick: C-Town Hoodlums
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Portland Niners
23/48 beers! – 23 beers this late in the season! Well slap my ass and call me Mary, this is a great week for all of Zeta!
Vilnius has been on a slide and wants to rectify their situation with a win and possibly a knockout blow to Jeff City!
The Rome Raiders will be fighting for their season in a match up against powerful Stryden! Can Davisd beat Goliath?
The Blaze and WarZone are fighting for that final playoff spot and whoever losses may just lose their season to boot!
And a Floater Match in the GOW?!?!
Hoodlums and Niners battle it out in a rankings battle that will have serious playoff implications!
I think I just might cry.
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Mar 6, 2010 15:35:04
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Mar 6, 2010 12:34:32
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Mar 6, 2010 12:33:16
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Mar 6, 2010 12:29:33
(opens curtains)
You f'n DICK!!!!! 
I hit that link... 
sorry man. It was too much for me to resist. 
