Holy shit it’s week 5!!
We did it! We made it to week 5!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JRs28-O4CY
Don’t need nothing but GLB…………..well, that and internet porn.
Celebrity News and Gossip!
If you haven’t noticed, there are some players putting up some big numbers and taking an early lead as the stats League Leaders.
QB Big Ben Bomber of the Vilnius Velociraptors is miles ahead of the competition averaging 500 passing yards and almost 11 TD’s per game!
HB Gerald Lewis of the Chernobyl Aftermath is running up the stats and leading the league in rushing yards and rushing TD’s!
And in the receiving category, Vilnius WR Brian Lowbyocho has a slim lead over his teammate; Ben Torch’d, for receiving yards.
Ben Torch’d also is tied for the league lead in receiving TD’s with Ares Assassin’s WR Lt. Frank Drebin, both with 11 TD’s.
And Sack Town of the Chernobyl Aftermath has a huge lead over the rest of his competitors for the Sacks and Hurry’s categories.
Good luck gentlemen and keep up the great jobs!
***SA’s Player of the Week***
This week the team here at the Sport’s Page has decided the POW is…………
WR William Rawlins of the Stewart balers!
He had just 5 receptions, but he turned them into huge plays! Four of the five catches were for TD’s and three of those TD’s were of 63, 98 and 78 yards! He totaled 258 yards receiving that helped his team blow past the #1 Stryden team in a 62-52 shootout victory!
So here’s to you, William Rawlins………………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/GuinnessBeer.jpg
SALUTE!!
Will this weeks match ups shake up the rankings?
Did Luke really love Laura on General Hospital?
Will the honey bee ever come back?
Only one way to find out, so read the Sport’s Page, chuckleheads!!
From the bible of SA.
“And on the seventh day SA rested, for he then logged on to GLB, boosted his players and praised…………….
………………….LET’S DO THIS SHIT!!!………….amen.
You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.
****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Short Bus Allstars (4-0) LW2 - Wouldn’t you know it.
The #1 spot in Alpha is held by a bunch of dudes who ride the short bus to school. I feels like Napoleon Dynamite for some reason, gosh.
But you guys are the newly anointed #1 team in the Alpha kingdom, so don’t fuck it up.
Next opponent: at #13 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (1-3)
#2 Old School (3-1) LW5 - I gotta’ say that this has been a very impressive team so far. Whether they keep it going is another story, but so far my hat and pants are off to you guys.
Salute!
Next opponent: #14 Vladivostok Voodoo (0-4)
#3 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (3-1) LW8 - Get back to Thunder Dome for the GOW tonight!
Next opponent: at #7 Buda Pests (3-1)
#4 Sofia Spiders (3-1) LW1 - You may have received your first loss of the season, but I can’t see kicking you out of the top4 for it. You guys are still one of the better Alpha teams, so act like one and bounce back with a win.
Next opponent: #12 Munich ManiAx (1-3)
#5 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-1) LW3 - It turned out to be the Black Hand getting back handed by Old School. Up next is another team making it’s way into the top and you’ll need to play a lot better than you did against Old School to beat the Ninjas.
Next opponent: at #11 Minsk Ninjas (2-2)
#6 Ares Assassins (3-1) LW7 - It’s time to make your move. You want in the top 4, you need to keep beating the tough teams and the Four Horsemen is a nice stepping stone to get where you want to be.
Next opponent: at #8 Stirling Four Horsemen (3-1)
#7 Buda Pests (3-1) LW6 - You’re going to the GOW tonight.
Next opponent: #3 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (3-1)
#8 Stirling Four Horsemen (3-1) LW4 - You need to rebound back with a win over a tough Ares team to earn your ranking back and earn some more respect.
Next opponent: #6 Ares Assassins (3-1)
#9 Arkadak Arsenal (2-2) LW12 – The Arsenal finally showed some fire power and blew the Horsemen out of the water. Now they have another tough opponent with the Freight Train up next.
Next opponent: #10 Ukraine Freight Train (2-2)
#10 Ukraine Freight Train (2-2) LW10 - Well let’s hope a change of logo’s can change your fortunes this season and get you headed in the direction of the playoffs.
Next opponent: at #9 Arkadak Arsenal (2-2)
#11 Minsk Ninjas (2-2) LW9 - That was a very close loss to the now #1 team in Alpha. Nicely done.
You guys are really starting to come around now, so don’t let up on the Black Hand up next. A win here will keep you moving up and into a playoff spot.
Next opponent: #5 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-1)
#12 Munich ManiAx (1-3) LW13 - Finally a win for the ManiAx! It’s not like you guys are getting beat terribly bad in every game, you guys are usually in every game you’ve played. But now you will have to step on the gas and start beating these teams to get into a position to make a run at the playoffs.
Next opponent: at #4 Sofia Spiders (3-1)
#13 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (1-3) LW11 - Better get ready for being 1-4 next week.
You might as well start grooming yourselves to meet the girls in the Hot Chick Lounge too.
Next opponent: #1 Short Bus Allstars (4-0)
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (0-4) LW14 - Looks like 0-5 is coming up. You guys need to start showing something in the next couple of games, if not the hot Chick Lounge is waiting.
Next opponent: at #2 Old School (3-1)
#15 Saratov Catrades (0-4) LW15 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2001/11lisa/Lisa-b06.jpg
Next opponent: at #16 Hollywood TimberWolves (0-4)
#16 Hollywood TimberWolves (0-4) LW16 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2001/11Marsha/Marsha-b16.jpg
Next opponent: #15 Saratov Catrades (0-4)
*****WEEK 5 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
So I’ll keep track of my predictions week by week just to see if I am any dam good. In the Game of the Week's (GOW) I'll go up against my old pal, the On Line Magic 8 Ball http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/
Yes, I really do consult an On Line Magic 8 Ball.
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 5-3 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 5-3
Overall: 21-11
SA’s GOW: 2-2
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 2-2
#10 Ukraine Freight Train (2-2) at #9 Arkadak Arsenal (2-2) = Arkadak Arsenal
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#6 Ares Assassins (3-1) at #8 Stirling Four Horsemen (3-1) = Ares Assassins
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#3 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (3-1) at #7 Buda Pests (3-1) = Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#5 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-1) at #11 Minsk Ninjas (2-2) = Sarajevo Black Hand
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#12 Munich ManiAx (1-3) at #4 Sofia Spiders (3-1) = Sofia Spiders
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#1 Short Bus Allstars (4-0) at #13 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (1-3) = Short Bus Allstars
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#15 Saratov Catrades (0-4) at #16 Hollywood TimberWolves (0-4) = Does it really matter? But if I have to pick one, I’ll close my eyes, spin the mouse and whichever one the cursor lands on is my pick……ready……set…..go…….looks like it’s Saratov.
Who cares?
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (0-4) at #2 Old School (3-1) = Old School
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#3 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (3-1) at #7 Buda Pests (3-1) -
Pests va Sea Wasps in the Alpha GOW!
The Pests are looking to break into the top 4 and they just might do it with a win here tonight.
The Sea Wasps are coming off an emotional win over the #1 Sofia Spiders and carrying that momentum into tonight’s game.
The rules are simple.
No bug spray allowed.
No citronella candles allowed.
No fly swatters allowed.
Other than that it’s all fair game.
Good luck, chuckleheads!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Sea Wasps beat the Pests?
8 Ball's answer: Without a doubt.
SA's Pick: Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps
26/48 beers! – Just when you think it’s safe to go back to watching cable TV, GLB comes back and gives you a swift kick to the nuts!!
Look at the shock and awe GLB is giving you this week!
Four butt smacking matches that should give you a GLB chubby until week 6 starts up!
First we have the Black Hand trying to contain the surging Ninjas in a Bukkake match! (I had to hire extra janitors for this match)
Second, there is the Freight Train attempting to roll over the Arsenal in a Lose Your Virginity match!
Third, we have the Ares Assassins looking to put a hit on the Sarajevo Black Hand in a Spank My Wife, GF, Mistress or Partner Match!
And finally in the GOW we have the Buda Pests trying to earn themselves a top 4 ranking by trying to get a W over the Sea Wasps in a Shave My Snatch Match! (whoever loses gets a Brazilian waxing. Ouch.)
So get your asses off the couch, turn on the monitor, log in to GLB and get to the matches, because you won’t want to miss one boner inspiring second of fabulous GLB action!!
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in the Alpha!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Stewart Ballers (4-0) LW3 - Why is it that the #1 teams have Balls in their team names?
Great job on getting the big win over Stryden!
I had to give you guys the nod for the impressive performance and the record of he teams you’ve played.
So enjoy it while it lasts, because the Hoods will be an inch behind you the rest of the way.
Next opponent: at #9 Russian Revolution (2-2)
#2 C-Town Hoodlums (4-0) LW2 - I know some of you are thinking that C-Town should be #1, but the fact that the Ballers were a lower rated team and getting a big W over the #1 Stryden team, I felt I had to give the Ballers the edge here.
But hopefully the Ballers and Hoods can remain unbeaten to week 16 when they play each other.
Next opponent: #6 Chernobyl Aftermath (3-1)
#3 Vilnius Velociraptors (4-0) LW4 - It’s the first time in the GOW for Vilnius, if you need directions to Thunder Dome, go past Suckytown, take a left at Mediocresville and go three blocks until you see Sonics, turn to the left and you are there!
Next opponent: #5 Portland Niners (3-1)
#4 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-1) LW1 - That was some game against the Ballers. Might as well take it out on the next team and get back to winning. You’re still a top 4 team, imo.
Next opponent: #12 Belgrade Blaze (1-3)
#5 Portland Niners (3-1) LW5 - Off to the GOW with you Niners!
Next opponent: at #3 Vilnius Velociraptors (4-0)
#6 Chernobyl Aftermath (3-1) LW6 - A MAJOR match up here for the Aftermath. If you can pull off the upset, it would be back into the Top 4 for you guys.
Next opponent: at #2 C-Town Hoodlums (4-0)
#7 Buffalo WarZone (2-2) LW7 - That makes two losses in a row. If you are wanting to prove yourselves to be a top 4 team, you need to turn that losing streak into a winning streak. It could return with a win over the bucks.
Next opponent: at #8 Jefferson City Bucks (2-2)
#8 Jefferson City Bucks (2-2) LW10 - You Bucks aren’t out of this thing yet! The warZone just lost and could be ripe for a second. Let’s get back to your ass kicking ways.
Next opponent: #7 Buffalo WarZone (2-2)
#9 Russian Revolution (2-2) LW11 - I don’t think the Revolution will take over the Stewart Ballers. You might want to start your revolution in a nice tropical 3rd world country.
Have a nice day, Revolution.
Next opponent: #1 Stewart Ballers (4-0)
#10 Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs (1-3) LW13 - 1 win. Does your win streak start here?
You guys better get that win streak going soon or the pigs will be slaughtered, cooked over a roaring fire on a rotating spit and served with roasted red peppers and a braised polenta.
Mmmmmmm, braised polenta.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/46940082@N07/4360159795
Next opponent: #13 Bucharest Warriors (1-3)
#11 Rome Raiders (1-3) LW8 - Here’s one of the few wins you’ll get this season.
Next opponent: #14 Odessa Mojo (0-4)
#12 Belgrade Blaze (1-3) LW9 - Man, did you guys see last weeks GOW between the Ballers and Stryden?
Man, I would hate to be the next team that Stryden plays.
Whoever it is will prolly get killed.
I do not envy the team that is fool enough to play Stryden after such a loss they took.
And furthermore………huh?..............you said that you guys are the next team to play the former #1 Blitzkrieg Balls?
Sorry dudes.
Next opponent: at #4 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-1)
#13 Bucharest Warriors (1-3) LW12 - How you guys held the Hoods to just 23, I’ll never know. But you need to carry that over to the next game against the Pigs and maybe you will get win #2.
Next opponent: at #10 Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs (1-3)
#14 Odessa Mojo (0-4) LW14 - 0-5 and you’re still alive, but you are on life support and we got one hand on the plug.
Next opponent: at #11 Rome Raiders (1-3)
#15 Hellas Hoplites (0-4) LW15 - Here’s your win of the season, enjoy.
Next opponent: #16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-4)
#16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-4) LW16 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2001/08carmen/Carmen-29.jpg
Next opponent: at #15 Hellas Hoplites (0-4)
*****WEEK 5 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 7-1 Week 3: 7-1 Week 4: 6-2
Overall: 25-7
SA’s GOW: 3-1
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 2-2
#13 Bucharest Warriors (1-3) at #10 Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs (1-3) = Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#7 Buffalo WarZone (2-2) at #8 Jefferson City Bucks (2-2) = Jefferson City Bucks
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#12 Belgrade Blaze (1-3) at #4 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-1) = Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#5 Portland Niners (3-1) at #3 Vilnius Velociraptors (4-0) = Vilnius Velociraptors
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#6 Chernobyl Aftermath (3-1) at #2 C-Town Hoodlums (4-0) = C-Town Hoodlums
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#1 Stewart Ballers (4-0) at #9 Russian Revolution (2-2) = Stewart Ballers
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#14 Odessa Mojo (0-4) at #11 Rome Raiders (1-3) = Rome Raiders
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-4) at #15 Hellas Hoplites (0-4) = Hellas Hoplites
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#5 Portland Niners (3-1) at #3 Vilnius Velociraptors (4-0) -
Two of the top teams in Zeta are battling it out in the GOW tonight!
The Portland Niners are looking to break back into the top 4 and the Vilnius Velociraptors are in their way!
Anything goes in this classic match up!
Tear gas? LEGAL!!
Stolen chemical weapons from the former Soviet Union? DO IT!!
Telling the opposing nerds………I mean, the opposing team’s mother’s that you are surfing the net for porn in your room in your parent’s basement so your mother grounds you and prevents you from playing in tonight’s GOW? You, sir, are genius……..HELL TO THE YEAH!!
Good luck chuckleheads!!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Niners beat the Velociraptors?
8 Ball's answer: Signs point to yes.
SA's Pick: Vilnius Velociraptors
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Portland Niners
27/48 beers! – Please tell me I’m dreaming. I didn’t wet the bed so I must be awake.
We have 4 beer-worthy matches to watch out for in Zeta this week!
Suck down one each for the WarZone vs Bucks game and the Ballers vs Revolution game!
Drink a couple more for the Aftermath vs Hoodlums game!
And save the rest for the GOW, which features the Portland Niners trying to knock down the Vilnius Velociraptors with a top 4 ranking at stake!
If GLB were a car, I would say it handles like dream, it fulfills my need for speed and has enough raw power to make you shit yourself in three different counties in Idaho!
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!
I would like to end this issue of the Sport’s Page with a special message to the world that we can strive for love and peace in the next decade and make the world a better, safer, cleaner and happier place for us all to share and live.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNk76mesH_0
A very special thank you to Bono, Sting, Sir Elton John, Chris Martin, Snoop Dogg and Bruno from the Sport’s Page mgmnt team.
We did it! We made it to week 5!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JRs28-O4CY
Don’t need nothing but GLB…………..well, that and internet porn.
Celebrity News and Gossip!
If you haven’t noticed, there are some players putting up some big numbers and taking an early lead as the stats League Leaders.
QB Big Ben Bomber of the Vilnius Velociraptors is miles ahead of the competition averaging 500 passing yards and almost 11 TD’s per game!
HB Gerald Lewis of the Chernobyl Aftermath is running up the stats and leading the league in rushing yards and rushing TD’s!
And in the receiving category, Vilnius WR Brian Lowbyocho has a slim lead over his teammate; Ben Torch’d, for receiving yards.
Ben Torch’d also is tied for the league lead in receiving TD’s with Ares Assassin’s WR Lt. Frank Drebin, both with 11 TD’s.
And Sack Town of the Chernobyl Aftermath has a huge lead over the rest of his competitors for the Sacks and Hurry’s categories.
Good luck gentlemen and keep up the great jobs!
***SA’s Player of the Week***
This week the team here at the Sport’s Page has decided the POW is…………
WR William Rawlins of the Stewart balers!
He had just 5 receptions, but he turned them into huge plays! Four of the five catches were for TD’s and three of those TD’s were of 63, 98 and 78 yards! He totaled 258 yards receiving that helped his team blow past the #1 Stryden team in a 62-52 shootout victory!
So here’s to you, William Rawlins………………..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/GuinnessBeer.jpg
SALUTE!!
Will this weeks match ups shake up the rankings?
Did Luke really love Laura on General Hospital?
Will the honey bee ever come back?
Only one way to find out, so read the Sport’s Page, chuckleheads!!
From the bible of SA.
“And on the seventh day SA rested, for he then logged on to GLB, boosted his players and praised…………….
………………….LET’S DO THIS SHIT!!!………….amen.
You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.
****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Short Bus Allstars (4-0) LW2 - Wouldn’t you know it.
The #1 spot in Alpha is held by a bunch of dudes who ride the short bus to school. I feels like Napoleon Dynamite for some reason, gosh.
But you guys are the newly anointed #1 team in the Alpha kingdom, so don’t fuck it up.
Next opponent: at #13 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (1-3)
#2 Old School (3-1) LW5 - I gotta’ say that this has been a very impressive team so far. Whether they keep it going is another story, but so far my hat and pants are off to you guys.
Salute!
Next opponent: #14 Vladivostok Voodoo (0-4)
#3 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (3-1) LW8 - Get back to Thunder Dome for the GOW tonight!
Next opponent: at #7 Buda Pests (3-1)
#4 Sofia Spiders (3-1) LW1 - You may have received your first loss of the season, but I can’t see kicking you out of the top4 for it. You guys are still one of the better Alpha teams, so act like one and bounce back with a win.
Next opponent: #12 Munich ManiAx (1-3)
#5 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-1) LW3 - It turned out to be the Black Hand getting back handed by Old School. Up next is another team making it’s way into the top and you’ll need to play a lot better than you did against Old School to beat the Ninjas.
Next opponent: at #11 Minsk Ninjas (2-2)
#6 Ares Assassins (3-1) LW7 - It’s time to make your move. You want in the top 4, you need to keep beating the tough teams and the Four Horsemen is a nice stepping stone to get where you want to be.
Next opponent: at #8 Stirling Four Horsemen (3-1)
#7 Buda Pests (3-1) LW6 - You’re going to the GOW tonight.
Next opponent: #3 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (3-1)
#8 Stirling Four Horsemen (3-1) LW4 - You need to rebound back with a win over a tough Ares team to earn your ranking back and earn some more respect.
Next opponent: #6 Ares Assassins (3-1)
#9 Arkadak Arsenal (2-2) LW12 – The Arsenal finally showed some fire power and blew the Horsemen out of the water. Now they have another tough opponent with the Freight Train up next.
Next opponent: #10 Ukraine Freight Train (2-2)
#10 Ukraine Freight Train (2-2) LW10 - Well let’s hope a change of logo’s can change your fortunes this season and get you headed in the direction of the playoffs.
Next opponent: at #9 Arkadak Arsenal (2-2)
#11 Minsk Ninjas (2-2) LW9 - That was a very close loss to the now #1 team in Alpha. Nicely done.
You guys are really starting to come around now, so don’t let up on the Black Hand up next. A win here will keep you moving up and into a playoff spot.
Next opponent: #5 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-1)
#12 Munich ManiAx (1-3) LW13 - Finally a win for the ManiAx! It’s not like you guys are getting beat terribly bad in every game, you guys are usually in every game you’ve played. But now you will have to step on the gas and start beating these teams to get into a position to make a run at the playoffs.
Next opponent: at #4 Sofia Spiders (3-1)
#13 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (1-3) LW11 - Better get ready for being 1-4 next week.
You might as well start grooming yourselves to meet the girls in the Hot Chick Lounge too.
Next opponent: #1 Short Bus Allstars (4-0)
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (0-4) LW14 - Looks like 0-5 is coming up. You guys need to start showing something in the next couple of games, if not the hot Chick Lounge is waiting.
Next opponent: at #2 Old School (3-1)
#15 Saratov Catrades (0-4) LW15 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2001/11lisa/Lisa-b06.jpg
Next opponent: at #16 Hollywood TimberWolves (0-4)
#16 Hollywood TimberWolves (0-4) LW16 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2001/11Marsha/Marsha-b16.jpg
Next opponent: #15 Saratov Catrades (0-4)
*****WEEK 5 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
So I’ll keep track of my predictions week by week just to see if I am any dam good. In the Game of the Week's (GOW) I'll go up against my old pal, the On Line Magic 8 Ball http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/
Yes, I really do consult an On Line Magic 8 Ball.
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 5-3 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 5-3
Overall: 21-11
SA’s GOW: 2-2
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 2-2
#10 Ukraine Freight Train (2-2) at #9 Arkadak Arsenal (2-2) = Arkadak Arsenal
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#6 Ares Assassins (3-1) at #8 Stirling Four Horsemen (3-1) = Ares Assassins
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#3 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (3-1) at #7 Buda Pests (3-1) = Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#5 Sarajevo Black Hand (3-1) at #11 Minsk Ninjas (2-2) = Sarajevo Black Hand
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#12 Munich ManiAx (1-3) at #4 Sofia Spiders (3-1) = Sofia Spiders
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#1 Short Bus Allstars (4-0) at #13 Alexandrovsk Conquerors (1-3) = Short Bus Allstars
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#15 Saratov Catrades (0-4) at #16 Hollywood TimberWolves (0-4) = Does it really matter? But if I have to pick one, I’ll close my eyes, spin the mouse and whichever one the cursor lands on is my pick……ready……set…..go…….looks like it’s Saratov.
Who cares?
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#14 Vladivostok Voodoo (0-4) at #2 Old School (3-1) = Old School
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#3 Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps (3-1) at #7 Buda Pests (3-1) -
Pests va Sea Wasps in the Alpha GOW!
The Pests are looking to break into the top 4 and they just might do it with a win here tonight.
The Sea Wasps are coming off an emotional win over the #1 Sofia Spiders and carrying that momentum into tonight’s game.
The rules are simple.
No bug spray allowed.
No citronella candles allowed.
No fly swatters allowed.
Other than that it’s all fair game.
Good luck, chuckleheads!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Sea Wasps beat the Pests?
8 Ball's answer: Without a doubt.
SA's Pick: Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Tyrrhenian Sea Wasps
26/48 beers! – Just when you think it’s safe to go back to watching cable TV, GLB comes back and gives you a swift kick to the nuts!!
Look at the shock and awe GLB is giving you this week!
Four butt smacking matches that should give you a GLB chubby until week 6 starts up!
First we have the Black Hand trying to contain the surging Ninjas in a Bukkake match! (I had to hire extra janitors for this match)
Second, there is the Freight Train attempting to roll over the Arsenal in a Lose Your Virginity match!
Third, we have the Ares Assassins looking to put a hit on the Sarajevo Black Hand in a Spank My Wife, GF, Mistress or Partner Match!
And finally in the GOW we have the Buda Pests trying to earn themselves a top 4 ranking by trying to get a W over the Sea Wasps in a Shave My Snatch Match! (whoever loses gets a Brazilian waxing. Ouch.)
So get your asses off the couch, turn on the monitor, log in to GLB and get to the matches, because you won’t want to miss one boner inspiring second of fabulous GLB action!!
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in the Alpha!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Stewart Ballers (4-0) LW3 - Why is it that the #1 teams have Balls in their team names?
Great job on getting the big win over Stryden!
I had to give you guys the nod for the impressive performance and the record of he teams you’ve played.
So enjoy it while it lasts, because the Hoods will be an inch behind you the rest of the way.
Next opponent: at #9 Russian Revolution (2-2)
#2 C-Town Hoodlums (4-0) LW2 - I know some of you are thinking that C-Town should be #1, but the fact that the Ballers were a lower rated team and getting a big W over the #1 Stryden team, I felt I had to give the Ballers the edge here.
But hopefully the Ballers and Hoods can remain unbeaten to week 16 when they play each other.
Next opponent: #6 Chernobyl Aftermath (3-1)
#3 Vilnius Velociraptors (4-0) LW4 - It’s the first time in the GOW for Vilnius, if you need directions to Thunder Dome, go past Suckytown, take a left at Mediocresville and go three blocks until you see Sonics, turn to the left and you are there!
Next opponent: #5 Portland Niners (3-1)
#4 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-1) LW1 - That was some game against the Ballers. Might as well take it out on the next team and get back to winning. You’re still a top 4 team, imo.
Next opponent: #12 Belgrade Blaze (1-3)
#5 Portland Niners (3-1) LW5 - Off to the GOW with you Niners!
Next opponent: at #3 Vilnius Velociraptors (4-0)
#6 Chernobyl Aftermath (3-1) LW6 - A MAJOR match up here for the Aftermath. If you can pull off the upset, it would be back into the Top 4 for you guys.
Next opponent: at #2 C-Town Hoodlums (4-0)
#7 Buffalo WarZone (2-2) LW7 - That makes two losses in a row. If you are wanting to prove yourselves to be a top 4 team, you need to turn that losing streak into a winning streak. It could return with a win over the bucks.
Next opponent: at #8 Jefferson City Bucks (2-2)
#8 Jefferson City Bucks (2-2) LW10 - You Bucks aren’t out of this thing yet! The warZone just lost and could be ripe for a second. Let’s get back to your ass kicking ways.
Next opponent: #7 Buffalo WarZone (2-2)
#9 Russian Revolution (2-2) LW11 - I don’t think the Revolution will take over the Stewart Ballers. You might want to start your revolution in a nice tropical 3rd world country.
Have a nice day, Revolution.
Next opponent: #1 Stewart Ballers (4-0)
#10 Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs (1-3) LW13 - 1 win. Does your win streak start here?
You guys better get that win streak going soon or the pigs will be slaughtered, cooked over a roaring fire on a rotating spit and served with roasted red peppers and a braised polenta.
Mmmmmmm, braised polenta.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/46940082@N07/4360159795
Next opponent: #13 Bucharest Warriors (1-3)
#11 Rome Raiders (1-3) LW8 - Here’s one of the few wins you’ll get this season.
Next opponent: #14 Odessa Mojo (0-4)
#12 Belgrade Blaze (1-3) LW9 - Man, did you guys see last weeks GOW between the Ballers and Stryden?
Man, I would hate to be the next team that Stryden plays.
Whoever it is will prolly get killed.
I do not envy the team that is fool enough to play Stryden after such a loss they took.
And furthermore………huh?..............you said that you guys are the next team to play the former #1 Blitzkrieg Balls?
Sorry dudes.
Next opponent: at #4 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-1)
#13 Bucharest Warriors (1-3) LW12 - How you guys held the Hoods to just 23, I’ll never know. But you need to carry that over to the next game against the Pigs and maybe you will get win #2.
Next opponent: at #10 Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs (1-3)
#14 Odessa Mojo (0-4) LW14 - 0-5 and you’re still alive, but you are on life support and we got one hand on the plug.
Next opponent: at #11 Rome Raiders (1-3)
#15 Hellas Hoplites (0-4) LW15 - Here’s your win of the season, enjoy.
Next opponent: #16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-4)
#16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-4) LW16 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2001/08carmen/Carmen-29.jpg
Next opponent: at #15 Hellas Hoplites (0-4)
*****WEEK 5 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 1: 5-3 Week 2: 7-1 Week 3: 7-1 Week 4: 6-2
Overall: 25-7
SA’s GOW: 3-1
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 2-2
#13 Bucharest Warriors (1-3) at #10 Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs (1-3) = Nolah K&B Purple Spider Pigs
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#7 Buffalo WarZone (2-2) at #8 Jefferson City Bucks (2-2) = Jefferson City Bucks
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#12 Belgrade Blaze (1-3) at #4 Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls (3-1) = Stryden Blitzkrieg Balls
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#5 Portland Niners (3-1) at #3 Vilnius Velociraptors (4-0) = Vilnius Velociraptors
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#6 Chernobyl Aftermath (3-1) at #2 C-Town Hoodlums (4-0) = C-Town Hoodlums
Game Rating: 5/6 beers
#1 Stewart Ballers (4-0) at #9 Russian Revolution (2-2) = Stewart Ballers
Game Rating: 4/6 beers
#14 Odessa Mojo (0-4) at #11 Rome Raiders (1-3) = Rome Raiders
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#16 The Cape Town Cubicles (0-4) at #15 Hellas Hoplites (0-4) = Hellas Hoplites
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#5 Portland Niners (3-1) at #3 Vilnius Velociraptors (4-0) -
Two of the top teams in Zeta are battling it out in the GOW tonight!
The Portland Niners are looking to break back into the top 4 and the Vilnius Velociraptors are in their way!
Anything goes in this classic match up!
Tear gas? LEGAL!!
Stolen chemical weapons from the former Soviet Union? DO IT!!
Telling the opposing nerds………I mean, the opposing team’s mother’s that you are surfing the net for porn in your room in your parent’s basement so your mother grounds you and prevents you from playing in tonight’s GOW? You, sir, are genius……..HELL TO THE YEAH!!
Good luck chuckleheads!!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Niners beat the Velociraptors?
8 Ball's answer: Signs point to yes.
SA's Pick: Vilnius Velociraptors
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Portland Niners
27/48 beers! – Please tell me I’m dreaming. I didn’t wet the bed so I must be awake.
We have 4 beer-worthy matches to watch out for in Zeta this week!
Suck down one each for the WarZone vs Bucks game and the Ballers vs Revolution game!
Drink a couple more for the Aftermath vs Hoodlums game!
And save the rest for the GOW, which features the Portland Niners trying to knock down the Vilnius Velociraptors with a top 4 ranking at stake!
If GLB were a car, I would say it handles like dream, it fulfills my need for speed and has enough raw power to make you shit yourself in three different counties in Idaho!
Let’s do this shit!!
Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!
I would like to end this issue of the Sport’s Page with a special message to the world that we can strive for love and peace in the next decade and make the world a better, safer, cleaner and happier place for us all to share and live.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNk76mesH_0
A very special thank you to Bono, Sting, Sir Elton John, Chris Martin, Snoop Dogg and Bruno from the Sport’s Page mgmnt team.
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Feb 16, 2010 14:50:26
