The Kampfire supercomputer is a marvel of modern technology, but beneath its sleek exterior and hamster wheel guts lies a spark of human emotion and love for the holiday season however you may celebrate it. However, that stuff can kiss my ass, so we're giving the supercomputer the day off and I'll be filling in on this Christmas morning. On to the rankings:
1) Chicago Hedgehogs - The Hedgehogs passed their first real test with flying colors, kicking the bejeezus out of a rapidly fading Bortsville team. The Hedgehogs are no doubt looking ahead to taking a couple of practice games before their epic week 10 showdown with the Kampers.
2) Minnesota Marauders - The Marauders drop from the 1 spot after a letdown game, caused presumably by the absence of the mystery OC. Play Chicago next week in a game no one cares about.
3) Austin Longhorns - Austin bounces into the big time with a gritty, hard earned win over the reeling Kampers. Feeling Pressure's stunning pick-6 on a FB pass late in a tie game with Kampers driving is no doubt the biggest play in the history of Longhorn football. Or I would guess it would be, because nobody has even heard of them until this week.
4) Ketchikan Kamper Adventure Rentals - Despite a brutal loss where the Kampers could do nothing right, Ketchikan fans were encouraged by the emergence of a new star, HB Sudarshana Chakra. The Sudarshana outshone the MVP frontrunner on the same field, ferociously fighting through tackle after tackle in an heroic effort to singlehandedly carry the Kampers to victory. The future looks bright for this young back, should Vishnu will it.
5) Bortsville Pecan Sandies - The Mystery Nerf put up surprisingly little resistance in a loss to the Hedgehogs, but will likely lose no more than one game the rest of the season.
6) Corpus Christi Illegal Aliens - They've actually looked a lot better in their losses than their wins. I'm tired of my tax dollars going to support these lazy bums that took a USA Pro spot away from a deserving American team.
7) Las Vegas Flyin' Elvis - Remember how I said a couple of upsets might squeak these guys into the playoffs? They're doing their part.
8) New Jersey Battalion - After the four-game feast of gutjobs, we're about to find out if the Battalion can swim, or if they're bound to drizzown.
9) SOUTH GEORGIA GROWL - PROBABLY THE MOST OVERRATED TEAM IN THE EIGHT-SEASON HISTORY OF THE KAMPFIRE AT THIS POINT, ALTHOUGH THEY STILL HAVE TIME TO TURN THINGS AROUND.
10) Houston Toros - THE TOROS WIN! THE TOROS WIN! THE DEATH MARCH IS OVER! BORT IS GRACIOUS!
11) Northwest Mighthawks - Still suck.
12) Timpanogos Thunder - What the hell is going on with that receiver? I'd like to know where he spend his final points, that's like the best 15-point boost in the history of GLB.
13) Dead Man's Hand - We get older, they stay the same age. Alright, alright.
14) Columbus Bucks - Probably racist.
15) D-League Dream Team - hay did you guys here that britney murphy died??????
16) Tallahasse Seminoles - That's all folks!
1) Chicago Hedgehogs - The Hedgehogs passed their first real test with flying colors, kicking the bejeezus out of a rapidly fading Bortsville team. The Hedgehogs are no doubt looking ahead to taking a couple of practice games before their epic week 10 showdown with the Kampers.
2) Minnesota Marauders - The Marauders drop from the 1 spot after a letdown game, caused presumably by the absence of the mystery OC. Play Chicago next week in a game no one cares about.
3) Austin Longhorns - Austin bounces into the big time with a gritty, hard earned win over the reeling Kampers. Feeling Pressure's stunning pick-6 on a FB pass late in a tie game with Kampers driving is no doubt the biggest play in the history of Longhorn football. Or I would guess it would be, because nobody has even heard of them until this week.
4) Ketchikan Kamper Adventure Rentals - Despite a brutal loss where the Kampers could do nothing right, Ketchikan fans were encouraged by the emergence of a new star, HB Sudarshana Chakra. The Sudarshana outshone the MVP frontrunner on the same field, ferociously fighting through tackle after tackle in an heroic effort to singlehandedly carry the Kampers to victory. The future looks bright for this young back, should Vishnu will it.
5) Bortsville Pecan Sandies - The Mystery Nerf put up surprisingly little resistance in a loss to the Hedgehogs, but will likely lose no more than one game the rest of the season.
6) Corpus Christi Illegal Aliens - They've actually looked a lot better in their losses than their wins. I'm tired of my tax dollars going to support these lazy bums that took a USA Pro spot away from a deserving American team.
7) Las Vegas Flyin' Elvis - Remember how I said a couple of upsets might squeak these guys into the playoffs? They're doing their part.
8) New Jersey Battalion - After the four-game feast of gutjobs, we're about to find out if the Battalion can swim, or if they're bound to drizzown.
9) SOUTH GEORGIA GROWL - PROBABLY THE MOST OVERRATED TEAM IN THE EIGHT-SEASON HISTORY OF THE KAMPFIRE AT THIS POINT, ALTHOUGH THEY STILL HAVE TIME TO TURN THINGS AROUND.
10) Houston Toros - THE TOROS WIN! THE TOROS WIN! THE DEATH MARCH IS OVER! BORT IS GRACIOUS!
11) Northwest Mighthawks - Still suck.
12) Timpanogos Thunder - What the hell is going on with that receiver? I'd like to know where he spend his final points, that's like the best 15-point boost in the history of GLB.
13) Dead Man's Hand - We get older, they stay the same age. Alright, alright.
14) Columbus Bucks - Probably racist.
15) D-League Dream Team - hay did you guys here that britney murphy died??????
16) Tallahasse Seminoles - That's all folks!
