Warrior General Games

In a shocking breach of decorum, Tricity Cardinals defensive end Chunky Monkey publicly criticized his team's quarterback Eli Cornelius Spiderpig following a disappointing loss on Saturday. "He should not have spent the weekend before the last game in Mexico with Ashley Simpson. That just ain't right" Monkey told reporters. "Now, Jessica Simpson, I could see, but not Ashley. No way. That shows a complete lack of judgement - the kind of judgement we expect to see in a team leader. It clearly affected his performance on the field."

When asked about his teammate's criticism, Spiderpig was surprised. "Wow, I would never have thought that a guy whose first name is a type of peanut butter would ever have the nerve to lay into a fellow player like that. But, I guess I should not surprised at all. He shows no loyalty. He's always playing Van Halen in the locker room, but only the Sammy Hagar stuff. No Diamond Dave - only Sammy. Monkey is not a class guy at all."

We'll be keeping a close eye on this story.....

So your saying your own player critzied one of your other playes?

Originally posted by Goober Man
So your saying your own player critzied one of your other playes?

It gets better.....

It turns out that there has been a long-simmering fued between the two players. An anonymous source close to the situation told reporters that the trouble started during training camp. According to the source, the pair were playing poker in the dorm after practice. Eli Spiderpig went all-in, holding a pocket pair. Monkey wanted to call, but was down to $5 and a Tic-Tac. He asked Spidermonkey if he could put in his CD collection in place of cash, and, according to the source, Spiderpig OK'd it. Spiderpig won the hand, and won the CD collection. Later, when Chunky Monkey gave Spiderpig cash to make up the debt and asked for his CDs back, he said that some of the discs were missing, and accused Spiderpig of pilfering them.

"He really wanted to get his groove on to the Village People, but when he opened his case, it wasn't there. Spiderpig had kept it," the source (who folded K/2 offsuit) told reporters. Spiderpig vehemently denied keeping any discs for himself and insisted that he had returned all of them to Monkey. But later that night, teammates claim that they could distinctly hear Spiderpig singing along to "Macho Man" and "In the Navy."

Things deteriorated from there. Monkey took a full accounting of all of his discs and noted that his "Hannah Montana Sings the Blues," "The Shaq Fu Soundtrack," and "Milli Vanilli's Greatest Hits" were also missing. "He's into Milli Vanilli and Ashley Simpson.....Guess he just loves those lip synchers, doesn't he?" a bitter Chunky Monkey confided in a friend.

Team officials refused to comment on the situation.

All I know is the Diamond Dave fan gets play time. No spammy hagar please.

Originally posted by LouDawg
Originally posted by Goober Man

So your saying your own player critzied one of your other playes?

It gets better.....

It turns out that there has been a long-simmering fued between the two players. An anonymous source close to the situation told reporters that the trouble started during training camp. According to the source, the pair were playing poker in the dorm after practice. Eli Spiderpig went all-in, holding a pocket pair. Monkey wanted to call, but was down to $5 and a Tic-Tac. He asked Spidermonkey if he could put in his CD collection in place of cash, and, according to the source, Spiderpig OK'd it. Spiderpig won the hand, and won the CD collection. Later, when Chunky Monkey gave Spiderpig cash to make up the debt and asked for his CDs back, he said that some of the discs were missing, and accused Spiderpig of pilfering them.

"He really wanted to get his groove on to the Village People, but when he opened his case, it wasn't there. Spiderpig had kept it," the source (who folded K/2 offsuit) told reporters. Spiderpig vehemently denied keeping any discs for himself and insisted that he had returned all of them to Monkey. But later that night, teammates claim that they could distinctly hear Spiderpig singing along to "Macho Man" and "In the Navy."

Things deteriorated from there. Monkey took a full accounting of all of his discs and noted that his "Hannah Montana Sings the Blues," "The Shaq Fu Soundtrack," and "Milli Vanilli's Greatest Hits" were also missing. "He's into Milli Vanilli and Ashley Simpson.....Guess he just loves those lip synchers, doesn't he?" a bitter Chunky Monkey confided in a friend.

Team officials refused to comment on the situation.

you should go into creative writing

Resolution to the saga?

There appears to be a breakthrough in the Chunky Monkey/Eli Spiderpig rift. The fued, which had divided the team and threatened to derail a promising young team's playoff quest, came to light after the Cardinals lost to an inferior Bratislava team on Saturday.

Team sources have told reporters that Chunky Monkey visited Eli Spiderpig backstage at the Starland Vocal Band concert and apologized for calling out his quarterback. "It was all the cheeseballs I did in college - it made me crazy" Monkey is reported to have said. "Besides, I found out who really took all my CDs. It was Burner69." Burner, the star wide receiver for the Cardinals, was apparently inadvertantly unmasked as the theif of Chunky Monkey's Village People and Captain and Taneel CDs.

Sources are reporting that while Chunky was doing his naked yoga - his post-showering ritual - he could clearly hear Burner humming along to "Muscrat Love" in his apartment. Monkey is reported to have burst into Burner's room, and shouted "Why!!" to which Burner is said to have answered by jumping up and shouting "M C A!", believing that his teammate was trying to start a dancing line. A search of his apartment revealed the bulk of Monkey's CD collection, as well as the new Jay-Z disc, which Monkey had been meaning to pick up but never got around to, so he snagged that one as well. It is not known if he also helped himself to Beyonce's new album.

In related news, Ashley Simpson's publicist is reporting that the pop star has dumped Eli Spiderpig. "I didn't realize who I was dating until I read about this in the papers. I thought he was Homer J Spiderpig, Eli's older brother. He's hot!!!" Eli is reportedly heartbroken over the end of the six month relationship.

Originally posted by bwoods90


you should go into creative writing

Thank you