#6 Cambodia Mountain Men at #3 Krungthep Garudas:
Cambodia Mountain Men (11-5)
The Cambodians broke onto the Pro scene in Season 9, after dominating the lower leagues including collecting gold trophies in Seasons 7 & 8. They maintained their momentum in their Pro debut, storming out to a 12-4 record including a 56-31 drubbing of SEA titan ESL. They returned to Earth the next Season, but still fought their way to the postseason, gritting out a tough 9-7 campaign. In fact these Mountain Men have never missed the playoffs since the team's inception, a distinction any Owner would be proud of.
Perhaps because of this accomplishment they deserve the term Mountain Men, despite the lack of any true mountains in their homeland. Jmarter was kind of enough to elaborate on why the team did not choose a name more fitting to the geography.
"Well, they probably are foothills to the rest of the world but Foothill Men just doesn't have much of a ring to it. Have you seen the Cambodian women? It takes a 12-pack and a husky man to get any in these parts. So I suppose our nickname is less of a reflection on the terrain and more of a caricature of just what it takes to get lucky in Cambodia."
He also mentioned that the team had found several new "husky men" to help them improve on their 9-7 sophomore slump.
"We brought in a couple WRs that we think will help out a lot - Stic. Man & Neon Branch. Upgraded our CB situation with Rickey Henderson and D-Line with Michael Dean and then brought in a big hitting SS in Joey Bagodonuts. We also like a couple young guys that joined us, HB GottaHave MoreCowbells and OG Riddle Steel. They have bright futures with the Mountain Men."
Top Offenders:
Asked about the team's offensive weapons, Jmarter offered good insight the early on this season:
"All depends on how the sim treats us this season. I'd put money on Pat Clark for the coming season. Opponents might also want to gameplan for "Shake-n-Bake", our TE combo of Lance Henneman & Tennessee Jed. They have been looking good in the OTAs. Although most of that was due to their enormous skills with a beer bong."
He could of won money in predicting the success of QB Pat Clark, who finished third in the MVP race, the team has also benefited greatly from the outstanding and consistent performance of RB Dash Wang who broke hearts and tackles on his way to 28 touchdowns.
Top Defenders:
The Mountain Men defense has long been feared for it's relentless attack led by defensive standout Strong Pimp Hand and Jmarter was quick to give praise to his DT.
"We lovingly refer to him as "SPH" but he'll answer to any superhero name."
His presence has allowed the rest of the D-line to thrive, not only handling the run but compiling 219 sacks among them. DE's Marcus Graham, Shaggy Rogers, and Troy Mick have been especially potent and have pressured QB's league-wide into hasty decisions.
Jmarter recognized this early as well, noting that,
"I think our entire D-line will be a force this season. SPH (Strong Hand Pimp) has shown he needs to be gameplanned for. We expect a resurgence from Marcus Graham on the outside and think Micheal Dean will make them all better. Throw in a great NT like Jay Meier and young DE Troy Mick and I'd think we'd get a couple representatives from that bunch."
SS Henry Jorganson and CB Gary Gassaway have been hungry hunters downfield, posting 7 picks, 4 forced fumbles and 5 defensive touchdowns between them. All and all the Cambodia defense is probably the strongest aspect of the team. Asking Jmarter to predict the result if the team's offense and defense ever faced off, he replied:
"I would put my money on our defense. I am just not sure if our O-line could handle our D-line at this point. But if Pat could get the time to hit Seth Cox over the middle - score six for the offense."
Special Teamers:
The Mountain Men ST unit has been dependable, but the lack of a marquee returner leaves something to be desired. While DeAngelo "Flash" Hall has put up decent numbers, he has yet to find the endzone against elite opponents.
Cambodia has found other ways to get it done on Special Teams, as Jmarter was quick to point out.
"Legsof Steele is rock solid as our kicker but Recado "The Bull" Rojo, MacTruck Miller, and Henry Jorganson have been known to leave some return men in tears."
Definitely some performers in that group, but they will be hard pressed to keep the Garuda star, Dexter Matsukado, from finding the Cambodian side of the field who brought back one punt 67 yards into their end zone when the two teams met in the regular season.
Krungthep Garudas (13-3)
After going 4-12 last season, many expected Krungthep to hang it up and reboot the franchise. No one would blame them, four seasons in Pro without a playoff win and it certainly seemed they were most likely a team in decline. Seeing their season wins drop from 12, to 8, then 4 in the last three campaigns it appeared that the writing was on the wall.
Season 11 would only be tougher. The team had lost some key free agents to inactivity, and several veterans were pondering the rewards of retirement. To make matters worse, a more difficult work load also loomed, as Head Coach Tautology, would have his hands full coaching his own team in the new World Pro League, making the GM duties of the team which had been shared near completely by Fool and Tautology since the team's inception in Season 3 an unbearable burden.
Fool, who thought himself burned out, discovered a small burning ember within, and sat out to recruit needed positions and cajole veterans out of their planned retirement. With much appreciated help from ThaiGQ, the pair got lucky. Not super lucky, as they didn't any "name brand" players like Haufa Garugatuppa, a pass-rusher they coveted from the Bangkok Tweetys who bizarrely opted for a lesser team in ESL. But they did get some solid competitors, including a former Bulldog, Hitman, Tweety, and Headhunter as well as some nice finds from teams outside SEAPL. Fool also persuaded/blackmailed all the wily veterans who were looking to go to pasture to come back, which was a major plus. But the biggest score of all was convincing former OC of the Headhunters, Joe Rice, to help Tautology out with scouting reports and offensive strategy.
The team's efforts were well rewarded as the Garudas became the comeback story of the season, chalking up win after win to an incredible 13-3 record and earning the team's second ever home playoff game. It will be interesting to see if the team's momentum is enough to earn them their first postseason victory.
Top Offenders:
The Garudas took some risks and made some big changes in the offseason to their offensive personnel and the season has rewarded them thus far with four of their players on the League's leaderboards. The addition of Joe Rice as Asst. OC and keen scouting ability has enabled this unit to thrive.
The best addition comes in the form of new QB Augustus McCrae. He vied for the top spots in both TD's and Passing Yards, finishing third and fourth with 4822 yards and and 45 TD's.
When asked, Head Coach Tautology identified Augustus to be the team's biggest key addition this season.
"Augustus McCrae, no question."
Joe Rice had a different opinion offering up returning Garuda, Donko von Punchstania, as his choice for best offensive weapon.
"Donko von Punchstania has all the tools to lead the offense."
Donko was an original member of Krungthep but after taking a diminished role to powerback Yuri the Axe, he left for 2 seasons to pursue stat-dom with the now defunct AA team Berlin Ball Busters. Having won accolades and MVP trophies at lower levels, Donko got his confidence back and returned to South East Asia. Despite sharing carries with 4 other running backs, Donko has found success this season, among the league leaders in two categories, placing second in yards received with 1812 and catching 17 TD's, good enough for a fourth place finish. Also dangerous on the ground, Donko found the end zone 9 times.
Longtime team superstar and powerback Yuri the Axe also contributed to the teams success, despite a grueling and competing schedule of bimbos and blow, placing fourth in rushing yards with 2261 and hitting pay-dirt 35 times.
The team is fortunate to have a top flight receiving corps, headlined by former Hitman WR Automatic Catcher, all the teams receivers have found the end zone, which allows QB Augustus McCrae to have confidence in all his options.
Top Defender:
New GM Joe Rice thinks very highly of newly acquired Linebacker Dirty Dan Sanchez, reasoning that:
"with the state of the game right now and the HB being the main offensive weapon a great, speedy, agile LB is needed."
Pimpin Snoopy, the agent of Defense End Khalid Sack-Mohammed begged to differ, identifying his own player as the team's best defender. When I asked him if he thought the Garuda defensive squad could handle the Garuda Offense, he implied that Khalid could shut them down single-handedly,
"KSM would literally shit on them."
When I consulted Head Coach Tautology about the veracity of Pimpin Snoopy's claim he responded in a strong negative fashion, identifying him as the team's biggest disappointment:
"KSM- I design a play specifically for him, and he STILL can't get the job done."
Tautology also revisited the player in a later question, when I asked him if the team had any players with shitty builds.
"There's really only one bad player on the team...we keep him around just to give our opponents a fighting chance. I think you know who I mean."
Special Teamers:
The team is blessed with no less than 7 players dedicated to Special Teams, but one among them stands out from the pack. The teams return man, Cornerback Dexter Matsukado, has been tearing up the league for some time now. He's capable of scoring even on the top squads and has scored TD returns on a wide variety of teams this season including the Pa Dong Dragons, Okinawa Leathernecks, Cambodia Mountain Men, Canberra Cowboys, Bacolod Skullcrushers, West Indies Warriors, Chiang Mai Gangsters, Tonduchon Cowboys and several out of region teams.
Both the Owner and Head Coach of the Garudas identified Dexter as not only the brightest star on Special Teams, but among the best players on the entire team. Defensive captain and middle linebacker Faulcon payed him true respect in response to another question.
"Can the O score on the D? Sure. One drive from Three. The other two times they won't. And 1 in 9 of those stops will be a 3 and out with Dexter returning for a TD."
Prediction:
These two teams have had numerous memorable clashes in their history, with recent history favoring the Garudas slightly having been the victor in 3 of the past 5 matches. The Garudas were also scored the win in this season's tussle, a 23-20 overtime victory in Krungthep. The two squads match up very equally though, and this game will undoubtedly be close.
Jmarter certainly had Krungthep on his mind when he forecast his thoughts for the post season when replying to these two questions about the playoffs:
Team you'd love to face off against in the playoffs?
"The #8 seed Actually, you have to beat them all but a Mountain Men v Garuda Naga championship game would be some fun. Take that ESL & Pa Dong. "
Team you'd hate to face in the playoffs?
"The Garudas. Last year was an aberration, they will be a top 4 team in Naga this year. (I love putting the pressure on fool)"
Clearly the Mountain Men do not rate Krungthep as a favorite vacation spot. Jmarter emphasized this point by adding:
"Oh, I almost forgot, we really hate those Garudas."
The animosity is definitely mutual, as Krungthep has been trading volleys with this team for sometime now. Fool had this to say about their opponent:
"If we weren't bitter rivals in the same conference, I'd want to be part of this team. Jmarter is a top notch owner who has spent a lot of time and effort in making this game more enjoyable to others. The team itself has proved very capable competitors over the seasons, and every time we think we have them figured out, they come clawing back and surprise us. It's been a pleasure having a long-lasting and ultra-competitive rivalry, and CMM have given us trouble even during seasons where we were a league above them. Krungthep is honored to do battle again with a worthy opponent."
As good as these squads are, neither of them have yet to chalk up a postseason victory in Pros. It's a prize both want desperately, and I expect one hell of a drag out fight when these teams meet tomorrow at Battlefield Bangkok Stadium.
GARUDAS by 4
Cambodia Mountain Men (11-5)
The Cambodians broke onto the Pro scene in Season 9, after dominating the lower leagues including collecting gold trophies in Seasons 7 & 8. They maintained their momentum in their Pro debut, storming out to a 12-4 record including a 56-31 drubbing of SEA titan ESL. They returned to Earth the next Season, but still fought their way to the postseason, gritting out a tough 9-7 campaign. In fact these Mountain Men have never missed the playoffs since the team's inception, a distinction any Owner would be proud of.
Perhaps because of this accomplishment they deserve the term Mountain Men, despite the lack of any true mountains in their homeland. Jmarter was kind of enough to elaborate on why the team did not choose a name more fitting to the geography.
"Well, they probably are foothills to the rest of the world but Foothill Men just doesn't have much of a ring to it. Have you seen the Cambodian women? It takes a 12-pack and a husky man to get any in these parts. So I suppose our nickname is less of a reflection on the terrain and more of a caricature of just what it takes to get lucky in Cambodia."
He also mentioned that the team had found several new "husky men" to help them improve on their 9-7 sophomore slump.
"We brought in a couple WRs that we think will help out a lot - Stic. Man & Neon Branch. Upgraded our CB situation with Rickey Henderson and D-Line with Michael Dean and then brought in a big hitting SS in Joey Bagodonuts. We also like a couple young guys that joined us, HB GottaHave MoreCowbells and OG Riddle Steel. They have bright futures with the Mountain Men."
Top Offenders:
Asked about the team's offensive weapons, Jmarter offered good insight the early on this season:
"All depends on how the sim treats us this season. I'd put money on Pat Clark for the coming season. Opponents might also want to gameplan for "Shake-n-Bake", our TE combo of Lance Henneman & Tennessee Jed. They have been looking good in the OTAs. Although most of that was due to their enormous skills with a beer bong."
He could of won money in predicting the success of QB Pat Clark, who finished third in the MVP race, the team has also benefited greatly from the outstanding and consistent performance of RB Dash Wang who broke hearts and tackles on his way to 28 touchdowns.
Top Defenders:
The Mountain Men defense has long been feared for it's relentless attack led by defensive standout Strong Pimp Hand and Jmarter was quick to give praise to his DT.
"We lovingly refer to him as "SPH" but he'll answer to any superhero name."
His presence has allowed the rest of the D-line to thrive, not only handling the run but compiling 219 sacks among them. DE's Marcus Graham, Shaggy Rogers, and Troy Mick have been especially potent and have pressured QB's league-wide into hasty decisions.
Jmarter recognized this early as well, noting that,
"I think our entire D-line will be a force this season. SPH (Strong Hand Pimp) has shown he needs to be gameplanned for. We expect a resurgence from Marcus Graham on the outside and think Micheal Dean will make them all better. Throw in a great NT like Jay Meier and young DE Troy Mick and I'd think we'd get a couple representatives from that bunch."
SS Henry Jorganson and CB Gary Gassaway have been hungry hunters downfield, posting 7 picks, 4 forced fumbles and 5 defensive touchdowns between them. All and all the Cambodia defense is probably the strongest aspect of the team. Asking Jmarter to predict the result if the team's offense and defense ever faced off, he replied:
"I would put my money on our defense. I am just not sure if our O-line could handle our D-line at this point. But if Pat could get the time to hit Seth Cox over the middle - score six for the offense."
Special Teamers:
The Mountain Men ST unit has been dependable, but the lack of a marquee returner leaves something to be desired. While DeAngelo "Flash" Hall has put up decent numbers, he has yet to find the endzone against elite opponents.
Cambodia has found other ways to get it done on Special Teams, as Jmarter was quick to point out.
"Legsof Steele is rock solid as our kicker but Recado "The Bull" Rojo, MacTruck Miller, and Henry Jorganson have been known to leave some return men in tears."
Definitely some performers in that group, but they will be hard pressed to keep the Garuda star, Dexter Matsukado, from finding the Cambodian side of the field who brought back one punt 67 yards into their end zone when the two teams met in the regular season.
Krungthep Garudas (13-3)
After going 4-12 last season, many expected Krungthep to hang it up and reboot the franchise. No one would blame them, four seasons in Pro without a playoff win and it certainly seemed they were most likely a team in decline. Seeing their season wins drop from 12, to 8, then 4 in the last three campaigns it appeared that the writing was on the wall.
Season 11 would only be tougher. The team had lost some key free agents to inactivity, and several veterans were pondering the rewards of retirement. To make matters worse, a more difficult work load also loomed, as Head Coach Tautology, would have his hands full coaching his own team in the new World Pro League, making the GM duties of the team which had been shared near completely by Fool and Tautology since the team's inception in Season 3 an unbearable burden.
Fool, who thought himself burned out, discovered a small burning ember within, and sat out to recruit needed positions and cajole veterans out of their planned retirement. With much appreciated help from ThaiGQ, the pair got lucky. Not super lucky, as they didn't any "name brand" players like Haufa Garugatuppa, a pass-rusher they coveted from the Bangkok Tweetys who bizarrely opted for a lesser team in ESL. But they did get some solid competitors, including a former Bulldog, Hitman, Tweety, and Headhunter as well as some nice finds from teams outside SEAPL. Fool also persuaded/blackmailed all the wily veterans who were looking to go to pasture to come back, which was a major plus. But the biggest score of all was convincing former OC of the Headhunters, Joe Rice, to help Tautology out with scouting reports and offensive strategy.
The team's efforts were well rewarded as the Garudas became the comeback story of the season, chalking up win after win to an incredible 13-3 record and earning the team's second ever home playoff game. It will be interesting to see if the team's momentum is enough to earn them their first postseason victory.
Top Offenders:
The Garudas took some risks and made some big changes in the offseason to their offensive personnel and the season has rewarded them thus far with four of their players on the League's leaderboards. The addition of Joe Rice as Asst. OC and keen scouting ability has enabled this unit to thrive.
The best addition comes in the form of new QB Augustus McCrae. He vied for the top spots in both TD's and Passing Yards, finishing third and fourth with 4822 yards and and 45 TD's.
When asked, Head Coach Tautology identified Augustus to be the team's biggest key addition this season.
"Augustus McCrae, no question."
Joe Rice had a different opinion offering up returning Garuda, Donko von Punchstania, as his choice for best offensive weapon.
"Donko von Punchstania has all the tools to lead the offense."
Donko was an original member of Krungthep but after taking a diminished role to powerback Yuri the Axe, he left for 2 seasons to pursue stat-dom with the now defunct AA team Berlin Ball Busters. Having won accolades and MVP trophies at lower levels, Donko got his confidence back and returned to South East Asia. Despite sharing carries with 4 other running backs, Donko has found success this season, among the league leaders in two categories, placing second in yards received with 1812 and catching 17 TD's, good enough for a fourth place finish. Also dangerous on the ground, Donko found the end zone 9 times.
Longtime team superstar and powerback Yuri the Axe also contributed to the teams success, despite a grueling and competing schedule of bimbos and blow, placing fourth in rushing yards with 2261 and hitting pay-dirt 35 times.
The team is fortunate to have a top flight receiving corps, headlined by former Hitman WR Automatic Catcher, all the teams receivers have found the end zone, which allows QB Augustus McCrae to have confidence in all his options.
Top Defender:
New GM Joe Rice thinks very highly of newly acquired Linebacker Dirty Dan Sanchez, reasoning that:
"with the state of the game right now and the HB being the main offensive weapon a great, speedy, agile LB is needed."
Pimpin Snoopy, the agent of Defense End Khalid Sack-Mohammed begged to differ, identifying his own player as the team's best defender. When I asked him if he thought the Garuda defensive squad could handle the Garuda Offense, he implied that Khalid could shut them down single-handedly,
"KSM would literally shit on them."
When I consulted Head Coach Tautology about the veracity of Pimpin Snoopy's claim he responded in a strong negative fashion, identifying him as the team's biggest disappointment:
"KSM- I design a play specifically for him, and he STILL can't get the job done."
Tautology also revisited the player in a later question, when I asked him if the team had any players with shitty builds.
"There's really only one bad player on the team...we keep him around just to give our opponents a fighting chance. I think you know who I mean."
Special Teamers:
The team is blessed with no less than 7 players dedicated to Special Teams, but one among them stands out from the pack. The teams return man, Cornerback Dexter Matsukado, has been tearing up the league for some time now. He's capable of scoring even on the top squads and has scored TD returns on a wide variety of teams this season including the Pa Dong Dragons, Okinawa Leathernecks, Cambodia Mountain Men, Canberra Cowboys, Bacolod Skullcrushers, West Indies Warriors, Chiang Mai Gangsters, Tonduchon Cowboys and several out of region teams.
Both the Owner and Head Coach of the Garudas identified Dexter as not only the brightest star on Special Teams, but among the best players on the entire team. Defensive captain and middle linebacker Faulcon payed him true respect in response to another question.
"Can the O score on the D? Sure. One drive from Three. The other two times they won't. And 1 in 9 of those stops will be a 3 and out with Dexter returning for a TD."
Prediction:
These two teams have had numerous memorable clashes in their history, with recent history favoring the Garudas slightly having been the victor in 3 of the past 5 matches. The Garudas were also scored the win in this season's tussle, a 23-20 overtime victory in Krungthep. The two squads match up very equally though, and this game will undoubtedly be close.
Jmarter certainly had Krungthep on his mind when he forecast his thoughts for the post season when replying to these two questions about the playoffs:
Team you'd love to face off against in the playoffs?
"The #8 seed Actually, you have to beat them all but a Mountain Men v Garuda Naga championship game would be some fun. Take that ESL & Pa Dong. "
Team you'd hate to face in the playoffs?
"The Garudas. Last year was an aberration, they will be a top 4 team in Naga this year. (I love putting the pressure on fool)"
Clearly the Mountain Men do not rate Krungthep as a favorite vacation spot. Jmarter emphasized this point by adding:
"Oh, I almost forgot, we really hate those Garudas."
The animosity is definitely mutual, as Krungthep has been trading volleys with this team for sometime now. Fool had this to say about their opponent:
"If we weren't bitter rivals in the same conference, I'd want to be part of this team. Jmarter is a top notch owner who has spent a lot of time and effort in making this game more enjoyable to others. The team itself has proved very capable competitors over the seasons, and every time we think we have them figured out, they come clawing back and surprise us. It's been a pleasure having a long-lasting and ultra-competitive rivalry, and CMM have given us trouble even during seasons where we were a league above them. Krungthep is honored to do battle again with a worthy opponent."
As good as these squads are, neither of them have yet to chalk up a postseason victory in Pros. It's a prize both want desperately, and I expect one hell of a drag out fight when these teams meet tomorrow at Battlefield Bangkok Stadium.
GARUDAS by 4
