Warrior General Games

Here's game we can play to pass the preseason, full of brutality and creativity... two of my favorite things.

Rules are simple

1. Your first post of the game starts by saying _______ enters the game

2. Devise a manner to forcefully take the hill from the poster ahead of you.

3. End your post with "I take the hill", or something to that effect.

4. If you use the same tactic twice you are out and can no longer usurp control of the hill

5. The game goes until there is one person left or the hill hasn't been taken for 24 hours


IN: Chop
Strikezone20
RagingBoredom
Mob-6
Duff
kada
Hulk
xManning
PackMan
Cactus
Crit
stales
J$
blln
lawdawg
icebergin
dolphan
jester

Out:

Playing but shouldn't: Buccs

Chop has entered the game


I climb to the top of the hill and chain smoke while waiting nervously for one of you merciless sons a bitches to take it from me. My hands tremble uncontrollably.

strikeout has entered the game

I go to the top of the hill and give Chop a wedgie and kick him off the hill.

RagingBoredom has entered the game

I notice Chop laying on the ground crying while trying to remove the underwear that has been forced up his rectum. To add insult to injury, I put one arm around his midsection and with the other, I grab his exposed underwear and with a mighty heave, I pick him up and charge up the hill. Using Chop as a battering ram, I ram Chop's head into strikeout's genitals and laugh as they both go tumbling down the hill.

I peer down from the top of the hill wondering why Wise is just standing there trying to question whether or not I have the hill despite the fact that I'm the only one on it. I stand there asking myself if Wise is man enough to climb this hill.

I stand up and brush the grassy dirt off of myself. Infuriated at having had ants crawling on me, I stomp my feet and snort. Charging up the hill like a horny rhinoceros I stab you through the belly with my diamond encrusted codpiece, spilling our guts all over the turf.

Satisfied knowing that, like a fart through the nostrils of time, your unpleasant existence has passed as a minor disturbance to me I sit in the pile of guts.

The hill is mine.

Mob enters the game.

Using a bulldozer, I completely level the hill until there is no hill left. If you want the fertile, now unobstructed, plowable land, call my real estate agent.

The hill is no more.

I shouldnt play this game. It may get me in trouble.

God enters the game.

He smites Mob for being a smart ass and declares, "LET THERE BE HILL"

God bestows the hill upon Flanders.



Duff enters the game.

Duff gives Flanders a thimble full of ice cold Duff beer! Flander passes out and rolls down the hill.

Duff plants a flag and declares, "OH YEAH"

kadafitcd enters the game

kadafitcd bestows a secret weapon to attack duffman. It is Homer Simpson. kadafitcd tells Homer that duff is hording all of his beer and if he wants some he must take duff out. Enraged by the dryness of soberdom Homer Charges to the top of the hill tackling Duff man off the hill and carries him off into the sunset to find some duff beer.

kadafitcd takes the hill

thats it.


buccs99 enters the game


Buccs99 charges up the hill wearing nothing. With penis flapping in the wind, I go up to kadafitcd, wanting to give him a good ol man hug. Afraid of the girth, kadafitcd takes off running and screaming. I stand victorious on top of the hill stroking my member, waiting until the next competitor arrives.



I win.

Hulk enters the game.

Hulk looks up the hill and sees Buccs99 touching himself. He pulls out his cell phone and dials. Not far away a bedazzled cell phone starts ringing, and a blonde picks up...

P: This is Paris
H: Hey, I need you to go give someone hepatitis through intercourse
P: Sure thing, anything for you Hulk.

Paris Hilton runs up the hill while stripping her already minimal clothing away from her body. Buccs99 is still standing there playing with his skin boat. Well, that skin boat is going to tuna town, and Paris does a double back handspring landing her infected muff right on Bucc's junk. One thrust and its over. Paris yawns and heads back down the hill, while Buccs99 stands there not knowing what hit him. Hulk just smiles and waits.

A couple of days later, Hulk heads up the hill. At the top, he sees Buccs99 writhing in agony. He's been stricken down with Hepatitis, and has no medicine. Hulk rolls the infected Buccs99 down the hill and laughs.

Hulk owns this hill.

kadafitcd fell amid a gut roaring laughter at buccs "Girth"...

Manning enters the games.

With his superior throwing mechanics and a feel for the game, he heaves a hail mary that nails HULK straight in the left testicle. After doing a few commercials, he proceeds to march his way up and claim his rightful prize.

I take the hill.