Warrior General Games

How the West was Won - Week Ten

When is a loss really a win? When the one prediction you get wrong is where you pick your own team to lose and they spring the colossal upset. I'll take a Dynasty win over a correct prediction any day of the week and twice on Sundays. Now, on to business.

As always, these are in fun; don't take offense if I rip on your team. OK, here we go, working from the top down:

GAME OF THE WEEK/YEAR: #2 INYA ONYA vs #1 Big Whiskey Assassins, at Wu Tang Arena:

Both teams had glorified scrimmage games last week, giving them time to tweak tactics before the big game.

Both teams will remain at 1-2 no matter who wins the game due to both teams having a two-game lead over the Scorpions. Not a lot I can add to the hype this game has already generated, as the winner becomes the last undefeated in the West. I can't say that one 9-0 is better than the other 9-0, but I can speak having played...and lost to...both teams, and I think Big Whiskey will have just a little bit more in the bottom of the bottle. Big Whiskey 31-28 (OT).

#8 Gardner Paraplegics vs #3 Phoenix Scorpions, at Scorpions Burrow:

Gardner used the Crawling Chaos as a speedbump, something that may not have happened if they were the Walking Chaos. Phoenix ate out Bunghole, 90-24.

Yes, folks, believe it or not, there are in fact other teams playing in the West on Tuesday. Phoenix has had one heck of a day today (Sunday.) Not only did they dispatch Bunghole, but their NFL Cardinals just scored a shocking berth in the Super Bowl (any chance I can get to mention an Eagles loss, I have to take advantage of it.) They should keep the good times rolling at home by slapping around the Paraplegics. Phoenix 63-21.

#16 Lubbock Red Raiders vs #4 Big Money Dynasty, at The House of Pain:

Lubbock took their bi-daily beating, this time at the hands of Lexington. Big Money used their new WR and held on for a shocking upset of the Orangutans.

Someone finally got around to telling the Dynasty that the building their stadium (il Colosseo) was named after (the Roman Colisseum) was a crumbling ruin in Rome, so they changed it and named it after the crumbling ruin in Houston instead (the Astrodome.) Oh...wait...they've got a game coming up on Tuesday too, don't they? Oh, right, it's Lubbock. Never mind. Big Money uses their new Flying Circus offense to go with their Rhinoball game and wins 112-24.

#11 Bunghole Liquors vs #5 Lexington Lynx, at The Lynx Lair:

Bunghole goe cleaned out by the Scorpions. Lexington is starting to get their groove back after a blowout of Lubbock.

Lexington is reverting back to the "Hot Lynx" form they showed early in the season. They won't slow down this week. Lexington 70-10.

#6 Oregon Orangutans vs #12 Nashville Isotopes, at Renaissance Stadium:

Oregon found out that throwing Big Money at problems beats throwing feces. Nashville was the latest victim of the INYA ONYA buzzsaw.

Oregon is mad about dropping the game against the Dynasty, and they are looking to take it out on Nashville. They decide to learn from their mistake. This week, they make sure the banana peels they throw at the Isotopes are green. It works. Oregon O. 98-13.

#9 Oregon Lumberjacks vs #7 Baton Rouge Buccaneers, at The Pirate's Cove:

Oregon chopped Wellsboro down to size. Baton Rouge committed unspeakable acts upon the Pirate Hookers (something about swords and empty rum bottles and...I don't even want to know what else.)

Oregon decides to try a tactic from their game against Gardner and stop cutting down trees for this game. You know the drill, logs, factories, no black market deal with shipmakers, Buccaneers don't get their wooden sloops. However, unlike Paraplegics, Buccaneers have arms. With swords in them. They pillage the forest and get their own darn wood. Baton Rouge 41-27.

#15 Seattle Grand Cru vs #10 Wellsboro Crawling Chaos, at The Breeding Pit:

Seattle got floo...nah, that's a bad joke right now. They lost badly to Big Whiskey. Wellsboro got cut down by the Lumberjacks.

Wellsboro has four wins. Seattle has trouble getting to four points. Wellsboro wins this going away, 62-7.

GAME OF THE WEAK: #13 Pittstown Pirate Hookers vs #14 Wolverhampton Wolverines, at Wolverines Stadium:

Pittstown got the business end of the cat o'nine tails from the Buccaneers, and the freaky thing is, I think they kinda liked it. Wolverhampton got trucked by Gardner.

I'll say this for the Wolverines: they have a fully-built stadium. With that done, they will have more money to spend on players and improvements to their roster, which will make them better in the long run. I think they get a glimpse of what they could do in the future with a win over the Hookers. Wolverhampton 31-17.

Last week's record: 7-1
Season Record: 55-9

Pick: Big Whiskey 217, Seattle 10: Actual: Big Whiskey 175, Seattle 7
Pick: INYA ONYA 81, Nashville 21; Actual: INYA ONYA 89, Nashville 7
Pick: Oregon O. 41, Big Money 28; Actual: Big Money 21, Oregon O. 14
Pick: Lexington 98, Lubbock 17; Actual: Lexington 107, Lubbock 14
Pick: Phoenix 51, Bunghole 28; Actual: Phoenix 90, Bunghole 24
Pick: Baton Rouge 51, Pittstown 10; Actual: Baton Rouge 97, Pittstown 24
Pick: Oregon L. 31, Wellsboro 24; Actual; Oregon L. 41, Wellsboro 10
Pick: Gardner 81, Wolverhampton 10; Actual: Gardner 63, Wolverhampton 3

Good predictions. Best of luck Phoenix. We definitely have our hands full.

game of the weak..... funny, but it might throw a target on ya jack

Originally posted by Fingaz10
game of the weak..... funny, but it might throw a target on ya jack

Ah, it's all in fun. That's the third time I've used that particular line already.

it's all in fun here, fellas. my own team would have been GREAT in the game of the weak, our first season. and our second. I'm still wondering how we won the game against the Lumberjacks. my guys surprised me, pleasantly, with that one. they must been pumpin iron down in the bilges instead of pumping water. no wonder we were riding so low!

Jacl