How the West was Won - Week Eight
Well, we're at the halfway point of the season with this game. Wheat is starting to be separated from the chaff. Some good games this week, some
REALLY good games, and some...eh, not so much. This week I'm trying something different; I'm going to include teams' overall rankings on
offense and defense. Probably just a one-time thing, but wanted to do something a bit extra for the midseason HtWwW. Rankings are taken from
Firefox's Greasemonkey league standings which are hopefully accurate; if not, then blame them. They are ranked among the entire BBB7, not just
the West.
As always, these are in fun; don't take offense if I rip on your team. OK, here we go, working from the top down:
#7 Oregon Lumberjacks vs #1 Big Whiskey Assassins, from Wu Tang Arena:
Oregon L.: Offense 22nd, Defense 13th
Big Whiskey: Offense 1st, Defense 1st
Oregon smashed Nashville's guitars Jimi Hendrix style, while Big Whiskey shot down Pittstown then poured one for their homies.
This one will be closer than 244 points, so Oregon has that going for them. Their red and black color plaid shirts, though, will be missing the
black by the end of this one. Big Whiskey 91, Oregon L. 17.
GAME OF THE WEEK: #2 INYA ONYA vs #4 Big Money Dynasty, at il Colosseo:
INYA ONYA: Offense 9th, Defense 4th
Big Money: Offense 6th, Defense 6th
INYA ONYA survived their second challenge in a row, squeaking by the Lynx. Big Money made short, cheap work of the Grand Cru; they had
treated it as a bit of a grudge match, as Seattle had a quarterback named Anti Zen while the Dynasty has an agent named Zen Master.
If you're not looking forward to this game, you're just not a fan of GLB. INYA ONYA is undefeated, and Big Money is on a hell of a roll
themselves, having won five in a row. The damning thing about both teams is...who do you cover? Both teams have completed passes to at least
10 different players. Both teams have multiple rushing threats. INYA ONYA tends to favor it's air show, while Big Money prefers it's
smashmouth rushing game. An absolute barnburner. I'm going with the Dynasty in a dramatic upset, mostly becuase it's hard to get your guys
motivated for a huge, tight game when their own owner is picking them to lose. Big Money 41-38.
#3 Oregon Orangutans vs #6 Lexington Lynx, at The Lynx Lair:
Oregon O.: Offense 3rd, Defense 5th
Lexington: Offense 12, Defense 8th
Oregon is coming off a well-played victory over Phoenix. Lexington suffered a 12th round punchout at the hands of INYA ONYA.
Another excellent matchup. Both teams match up nearly equally. The Poo-throwers are on a roll, while the USS Lexington has sprung a leak
recently. Big Mo can be a fickle thing in GLB, but in this case it should be the difference, as the Orangutans have it while the Lynx doesn't.
Oregon O. 31-20.
#16 Lubbock Red Raiders vs #5 Phoenix Scorpions, at Scorpions Burrow:
Lubbock: Offense 32nd, Defense 26th
Phoenix: Offense 10th, Defense 10th
Lubbock played the part of the wheelchair ramp, getting run over by the Paraplegics. Phoenix is now on a long (for them) two-game losing streak,
falling to the Orangutans.
Let's see, I said I'd try to find something nice to say about Lubbock this week. Well...um...hm... (hang on, give me a minute)......(takes half an
hour to think about it)...(watches half the Mavericks game and comes back at halftime)...OK! I found one! They've only allowed one team to get
to 100 points on them. That's something, right? However, Phoenix is looking to end their streak in a major way, and they should make an example
out of the Raiders. Phoenix 99-10.
#8 Baton Rouge Buccaneers vs #14 Wolverhampton Wolverines, at Wolverines Stadium:
Baton Rouge: Offense 19th, Defense 14th
Wolverhampton: Offense 26th, Defense 25th
The Bucs got back to their pillaging ways, showing Wellsboro what REAL Chaos is. The Wolverines lost to Appalachian St...I mean, Bunghole.
Jack's boys are back, they're loaded, and their ship is too. Wolverhampton, well, they backed the wrong X-Man. Should've gone with Gambit,
mon ami. Baton Rouge 47-13.
#13 Pittstown Pirate Hookers vs #9 Wellsboro Crawling Chaos, at :
Pittstown: Offense 30th, Defense 31st
Wellsboro: Offense 14th, Defense 18th
Pittstown watched a major beating from home, because they sure didn't show up against Big Whiskey, not that I blame them. Wellsboro got sunk
by Jack's Buccaneers.
Wellsboro certainly has lived up to their nickname lately. Their last five games have been (in order) a loss, a win, a loss, a win, and a loss. They
keep the seesaw moving along this week with a win over the Hookers. Although, I will say that these two go along well together, because if the
world descends into Chaos, what I'd want by my side first are Hookers. Wellsboro 87-3.
#11 Bunghole Liquors vs #10 Gardner Paraplegics, at Paraplegics Place:
Bunghole: Offense 21st, Defense 16th
Gardner: Offense 16, Defense 17th
Bunghole got a bad case of diarrhea and splattered Wolverhampton. Gardner went Rollin' With Saget, owning the Raiders.
This won't be all that fun. Even if you get a Paraplegic drunk off Liquor, it's not like you can make them slap themselves or anything. Maybe they
can take them outside and get them busted for RWI. Either way, though, Gardner holds thier Liquor better than expected, winning 41-35.
GAME OF THE WEAK: #15 Seattle Grand Cru vs #12 Nashville Isotopes, at Renaissance Stadium:
Seattle: Offense 31st, Defense 29th
Nashville: Offense 28th, Defense 24th
Seattle got executed by the Dynasty, while Nashville got whacked with a tree trunk by the Lumberjacks.
I'm going with Nashville, and I'll tell you why. At least, I would tell you why if I had any idea myself. It's all geography. I'd rather visit Seattle,
but Nashville is much closer. In this economy, that's what matters. Because, my Dynasty just got back from Seattle, and I don't think they're
welcome there anymore. Nashville 31-17.
Last week's record: 8-0
Season Record: 42-6
Pick: Big Whiskey 73, Pittstown 10; Actual: Big Whiskey 244, Pittstown 0
Pick: INYA ONYA 41, Lexington 27; Actual: INYA ONYA 37, Lexington 35
Pick: Oregon O. 31, Phoenix 20; Actual: Oregon O. 52, Phoenix 40
Pick: Big Money 87, Seattle 3: Actual: Big Money 168, Seattle 0
Pick: Baton Rouge 31, Wellsboro 24; Actual: Baton Rouge 51, Wellsboro 7
Pick: Oregon L. 56, Nashville 10; Actual: Oregon L. 86, Nashville 28
Pick: Gardner 51, Lubbock 20; Actual: Gardner 96, Lubbock 14
Pick: Bunghole 77, Wolverhampton 17; Actual: Bunghole 75, Wolverhampton 7
Well, we're at the halfway point of the season with this game. Wheat is starting to be separated from the chaff. Some good games this week, some
REALLY good games, and some...eh, not so much. This week I'm trying something different; I'm going to include teams' overall rankings on
offense and defense. Probably just a one-time thing, but wanted to do something a bit extra for the midseason HtWwW. Rankings are taken from
Firefox's Greasemonkey league standings which are hopefully accurate; if not, then blame them. They are ranked among the entire BBB7, not just
the West.
As always, these are in fun; don't take offense if I rip on your team. OK, here we go, working from the top down:
#7 Oregon Lumberjacks vs #1 Big Whiskey Assassins, from Wu Tang Arena:
Oregon L.: Offense 22nd, Defense 13th
Big Whiskey: Offense 1st, Defense 1st
Oregon smashed Nashville's guitars Jimi Hendrix style, while Big Whiskey shot down Pittstown then poured one for their homies.
This one will be closer than 244 points, so Oregon has that going for them. Their red and black color plaid shirts, though, will be missing the
black by the end of this one. Big Whiskey 91, Oregon L. 17.
GAME OF THE WEEK: #2 INYA ONYA vs #4 Big Money Dynasty, at il Colosseo:
INYA ONYA: Offense 9th, Defense 4th
Big Money: Offense 6th, Defense 6th
INYA ONYA survived their second challenge in a row, squeaking by the Lynx. Big Money made short, cheap work of the Grand Cru; they had
treated it as a bit of a grudge match, as Seattle had a quarterback named Anti Zen while the Dynasty has an agent named Zen Master.
If you're not looking forward to this game, you're just not a fan of GLB. INYA ONYA is undefeated, and Big Money is on a hell of a roll
themselves, having won five in a row. The damning thing about both teams is...who do you cover? Both teams have completed passes to at least
10 different players. Both teams have multiple rushing threats. INYA ONYA tends to favor it's air show, while Big Money prefers it's
smashmouth rushing game. An absolute barnburner. I'm going with the Dynasty in a dramatic upset, mostly becuase it's hard to get your guys
motivated for a huge, tight game when their own owner is picking them to lose. Big Money 41-38.
#3 Oregon Orangutans vs #6 Lexington Lynx, at The Lynx Lair:
Oregon O.: Offense 3rd, Defense 5th
Lexington: Offense 12, Defense 8th
Oregon is coming off a well-played victory over Phoenix. Lexington suffered a 12th round punchout at the hands of INYA ONYA.
Another excellent matchup. Both teams match up nearly equally. The Poo-throwers are on a roll, while the USS Lexington has sprung a leak
recently. Big Mo can be a fickle thing in GLB, but in this case it should be the difference, as the Orangutans have it while the Lynx doesn't.
Oregon O. 31-20.
#16 Lubbock Red Raiders vs #5 Phoenix Scorpions, at Scorpions Burrow:
Lubbock: Offense 32nd, Defense 26th
Phoenix: Offense 10th, Defense 10th
Lubbock played the part of the wheelchair ramp, getting run over by the Paraplegics. Phoenix is now on a long (for them) two-game losing streak,
falling to the Orangutans.
Let's see, I said I'd try to find something nice to say about Lubbock this week. Well...um...hm... (hang on, give me a minute)......(takes half an
hour to think about it)...(watches half the Mavericks game and comes back at halftime)...OK! I found one! They've only allowed one team to get
to 100 points on them. That's something, right? However, Phoenix is looking to end their streak in a major way, and they should make an example
out of the Raiders. Phoenix 99-10.
#8 Baton Rouge Buccaneers vs #14 Wolverhampton Wolverines, at Wolverines Stadium:
Baton Rouge: Offense 19th, Defense 14th
Wolverhampton: Offense 26th, Defense 25th
The Bucs got back to their pillaging ways, showing Wellsboro what REAL Chaos is. The Wolverines lost to Appalachian St...I mean, Bunghole.
Jack's boys are back, they're loaded, and their ship is too. Wolverhampton, well, they backed the wrong X-Man. Should've gone with Gambit,
mon ami. Baton Rouge 47-13.
#13 Pittstown Pirate Hookers vs #9 Wellsboro Crawling Chaos, at :
Pittstown: Offense 30th, Defense 31st
Wellsboro: Offense 14th, Defense 18th
Pittstown watched a major beating from home, because they sure didn't show up against Big Whiskey, not that I blame them. Wellsboro got sunk
by Jack's Buccaneers.
Wellsboro certainly has lived up to their nickname lately. Their last five games have been (in order) a loss, a win, a loss, a win, and a loss. They
keep the seesaw moving along this week with a win over the Hookers. Although, I will say that these two go along well together, because if the
world descends into Chaos, what I'd want by my side first are Hookers. Wellsboro 87-3.
#11 Bunghole Liquors vs #10 Gardner Paraplegics, at Paraplegics Place:
Bunghole: Offense 21st, Defense 16th
Gardner: Offense 16, Defense 17th
Bunghole got a bad case of diarrhea and splattered Wolverhampton. Gardner went Rollin' With Saget, owning the Raiders.
This won't be all that fun. Even if you get a Paraplegic drunk off Liquor, it's not like you can make them slap themselves or anything. Maybe they
can take them outside and get them busted for RWI. Either way, though, Gardner holds thier Liquor better than expected, winning 41-35.
GAME OF THE WEAK: #15 Seattle Grand Cru vs #12 Nashville Isotopes, at Renaissance Stadium:
Seattle: Offense 31st, Defense 29th
Nashville: Offense 28th, Defense 24th
Seattle got executed by the Dynasty, while Nashville got whacked with a tree trunk by the Lumberjacks.
I'm going with Nashville, and I'll tell you why. At least, I would tell you why if I had any idea myself. It's all geography. I'd rather visit Seattle,
but Nashville is much closer. In this economy, that's what matters. Because, my Dynasty just got back from Seattle, and I don't think they're
welcome there anymore. Nashville 31-17.
Last week's record: 8-0
Season Record: 42-6
Pick: Big Whiskey 73, Pittstown 10; Actual: Big Whiskey 244, Pittstown 0
Pick: INYA ONYA 41, Lexington 27; Actual: INYA ONYA 37, Lexington 35
Pick: Oregon O. 31, Phoenix 20; Actual: Oregon O. 52, Phoenix 40
Pick: Big Money 87, Seattle 3: Actual: Big Money 168, Seattle 0
Pick: Baton Rouge 31, Wellsboro 24; Actual: Baton Rouge 51, Wellsboro 7
Pick: Oregon L. 56, Nashville 10; Actual: Oregon L. 86, Nashville 28
Pick: Gardner 51, Lubbock 20; Actual: Gardner 96, Lubbock 14
Pick: Bunghole 77, Wolverhampton 17; Actual: Bunghole 75, Wolverhampton 7
Last edited Jan 14, 2009 20:20:54
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