How the West was Won - Week Two
OK, I've been asked to try to do a Western Conference prediction page to try to be similar to Husker Nation's Freedom Scrolls for the East. Keep in mind that I'm not much of a prognosticator, and I'm mostly pulling these predictions out of my...wallet.
(In hindsight, maybe I should have called it How the West Will Be Won?)
OK, here we go, working from the top down (I will mark the game of the week the same way I do it for my team's fantasy football league; take the combined ranking of the two teams involved, the game with the lowest score gets the GotW designation. This week it's the Orangutans vs INYA ONYA (2 vs 3: total score of 5)):
#1 Big Whiskey Assassins vs #5 Big Money Dynasty, at Il Colisseo:
Big Money looked absolutely destructive in their 94-13 dismantling of a team (Deimon Devil Bats) with an equal matchup rating. When your quarterback pops off a 91 yard touchdown RUN, you know it's your day.
Sunday, however, won't be the Dynasty's day. Big Whiskey had basically a third warmup game, a 216-0 whitewash of the CPU run Cavemen. (Guess GLB's NOT so easy a Caveman can do it.) Should be a very good game for a half, but the Assassins will take advantage of the Dynasty's still-low-leveled backups while they are in the game and carry that to a 59-21 type victory.
GAME OF THE WEEK: #3 INYA ONYA vs #2 Oregon Orangutans, at The Zoo:
Hard to get a read on this game, as both teams took apart gutted/rebuilding teams the previous week, by scores of 208-0 and 210-0 respectively.
Oregon looks like they have a few better players at this early stage of the season, and I predict the monkey business will continue at The Zoo by a 41-28 count.
#4 Wellsboro Crawling Chaos at #9 Lexington Lynx, at The Lynx Lair:
Don't let the rankings fool you on this one. Wellsboro trashed a rebuilding(?) State of Texas Domination team 101-14, while Lexington lost 59-10 to the resident co-juggernauts of the league, the Houston Armageddon.
Despite that loss, Lex still has the means to be an early favorite to come out of the West. While the Chaos is improving, it just won't be enough this week as Superman's arch-enemy's team takes this one somewhere in the 77-3 range.
#6 Baton Rouge Buccaneers vs #7 Phoenix Scorpions, at Scorpions Burrow:
The Bucs won the Battle of Baton Rouge over the Bayou Bengals 79-0 in a game played on the USS Kidd. The Scorpions stung the Manatees by a 71-14 count.
Jack's motley crew has improved since last season, but so have team PHX. This one stays close for a while, but the Scorpions will eventually pull away for a 48-31 victory.
#8 Oregon Lumberjacks at #15 Bunghole Liquors, at Brownspot Stadium:
The Liquors drew a short straw in week one, losing to the Freedom Warriors 89-0. (Trust me, you get used to it, I'm an expert at getting blown out by Lincoln.) Oregon took a wrong turn down a dark alley and got the Biggie Smalls treatment, 55-14 by the Souljahs.
However, Oregon looks to be in a bit better shape than their drunken counterparts, and Al Bourland's Favorite Football Team will win this one in the 38-10 range.
#10 Nashville Isotopes at #11 Wolverhampton Wolverines, at Wolverines Stadium:
Nashville lost 47-7 to the Texas Presidents, to continue what is now a 17 game losing streak, bested only by Wolverhampton's 18-game slide, continuing with a 72-7 beating by Frostburg.
Good news, guys...one of you's going to stop the streak! Bad news, Isotopes...it won't be you! I'm taking Wolverhampton by a 27-21 score, mainly because the Wolverines used to have some Dynasty players on their team. (Hey, it was that or flip a coin and have it land on its side.)
#13 Seattle Grand Cru at #12 Lubbock Red Raiders, at Jones Stadium:
An agent on my team (Zen Master) really hates Seattle's QB, but no matter. Lubbock got stopped like a party when the keg went dry by Killian's Irish Red, 76-7, while Seattle looked more like the Bland Cru, losing to Torrington 83-7.
As with the previous game, somebody's got to win. Seattle has slightly better stats, while the Raiders have much better chemistry. I think that will be enough to push Lubbock over the top, 31-20.
#16 Pittstown Pirate Hookers at #14 Gardner Paraplegics, at Cripple Colisseum:
While Gardner didn't have a leg to stand on, losing at Jax Beach 83-6 (What did you expect? They're the Juggernauts, bitch! ), don't let that fool you. Gardner has a pretty decent team this year.
Pittstown, well...er...doesn't. Losing 138-0 to the Richmond Empire seems to be just the beginning of a long rebuilding season. They should be better next season, but they'll be taking their lumps this next month. Paraplegics play the part of the no-legged man winning the butt-kicking contest, 108-3.
OK, I've been asked to try to do a Western Conference prediction page to try to be similar to Husker Nation's Freedom Scrolls for the East. Keep in mind that I'm not much of a prognosticator, and I'm mostly pulling these predictions out of my...wallet.
(In hindsight, maybe I should have called it How the West Will Be Won?)
OK, here we go, working from the top down (I will mark the game of the week the same way I do it for my team's fantasy football league; take the combined ranking of the two teams involved, the game with the lowest score gets the GotW designation. This week it's the Orangutans vs INYA ONYA (2 vs 3: total score of 5)):
#1 Big Whiskey Assassins vs #5 Big Money Dynasty, at Il Colisseo:
Big Money looked absolutely destructive in their 94-13 dismantling of a team (Deimon Devil Bats) with an equal matchup rating. When your quarterback pops off a 91 yard touchdown RUN, you know it's your day.
Sunday, however, won't be the Dynasty's day. Big Whiskey had basically a third warmup game, a 216-0 whitewash of the CPU run Cavemen. (Guess GLB's NOT so easy a Caveman can do it.) Should be a very good game for a half, but the Assassins will take advantage of the Dynasty's still-low-leveled backups while they are in the game and carry that to a 59-21 type victory.
GAME OF THE WEEK: #3 INYA ONYA vs #2 Oregon Orangutans, at The Zoo:
Hard to get a read on this game, as both teams took apart gutted/rebuilding teams the previous week, by scores of 208-0 and 210-0 respectively.
Oregon looks like they have a few better players at this early stage of the season, and I predict the monkey business will continue at The Zoo by a 41-28 count.
#4 Wellsboro Crawling Chaos at #9 Lexington Lynx, at The Lynx Lair:
Don't let the rankings fool you on this one. Wellsboro trashed a rebuilding(?) State of Texas Domination team 101-14, while Lexington lost 59-10 to the resident co-juggernauts of the league, the Houston Armageddon.
Despite that loss, Lex still has the means to be an early favorite to come out of the West. While the Chaos is improving, it just won't be enough this week as Superman's arch-enemy's team takes this one somewhere in the 77-3 range.
#6 Baton Rouge Buccaneers vs #7 Phoenix Scorpions, at Scorpions Burrow:
The Bucs won the Battle of Baton Rouge over the Bayou Bengals 79-0 in a game played on the USS Kidd. The Scorpions stung the Manatees by a 71-14 count.
Jack's motley crew has improved since last season, but so have team PHX. This one stays close for a while, but the Scorpions will eventually pull away for a 48-31 victory.
#8 Oregon Lumberjacks at #15 Bunghole Liquors, at Brownspot Stadium:
The Liquors drew a short straw in week one, losing to the Freedom Warriors 89-0. (Trust me, you get used to it, I'm an expert at getting blown out by Lincoln.) Oregon took a wrong turn down a dark alley and got the Biggie Smalls treatment, 55-14 by the Souljahs.
However, Oregon looks to be in a bit better shape than their drunken counterparts, and Al Bourland's Favorite Football Team will win this one in the 38-10 range.
#10 Nashville Isotopes at #11 Wolverhampton Wolverines, at Wolverines Stadium:
Nashville lost 47-7 to the Texas Presidents, to continue what is now a 17 game losing streak, bested only by Wolverhampton's 18-game slide, continuing with a 72-7 beating by Frostburg.
Good news, guys...one of you's going to stop the streak! Bad news, Isotopes...it won't be you! I'm taking Wolverhampton by a 27-21 score, mainly because the Wolverines used to have some Dynasty players on their team. (Hey, it was that or flip a coin and have it land on its side.)
#13 Seattle Grand Cru at #12 Lubbock Red Raiders, at Jones Stadium:
An agent on my team (Zen Master) really hates Seattle's QB, but no matter. Lubbock got stopped like a party when the keg went dry by Killian's Irish Red, 76-7, while Seattle looked more like the Bland Cru, losing to Torrington 83-7.
As with the previous game, somebody's got to win. Seattle has slightly better stats, while the Raiders have much better chemistry. I think that will be enough to push Lubbock over the top, 31-20.
#16 Pittstown Pirate Hookers at #14 Gardner Paraplegics, at Cripple Colisseum:
While Gardner didn't have a leg to stand on, losing at Jax Beach 83-6 (What did you expect? They're the Juggernauts, bitch!
), don't let that fool you. Gardner has a pretty decent team this year. Pittstown, well...er...doesn't. Losing 138-0 to the Richmond Empire seems to be just the beginning of a long rebuilding season. They should be better next season, but they'll be taking their lumps this next month. Paraplegics play the part of the no-legged man winning the butt-kicking contest, 108-3.
Last edited Jan 3, 2009 14:57:22
