...and then there were sixteen..
We have come to the end of the season of change.. ironically at the same time this season has experienced ups and downs like none other before.. this season had us lose a few of our valued members to the A leagues thru promotions.. and had us lower ranked teams left to fight with the titans also known as appalachian, cleveland, and lincoln just to name a few.. at the same time our country has also undergone change as we experienced the election of a new president.. with the promise of hope to us Americans.. and likewise as Bort, the creator of GLB.. has promised change with the league restructuring.. and like EPIC failed at it.. he once again aims to give us hope as we head into another season of league restructuring.. lets just hope Obama doesn't pull a bort.. ok whatever lets jus start the damn power rankings...
first lets start a lookback at our teams and how they've grown thru season 6 in jimo's rankings:
Originally posted by
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week 1..
Appalachian Lycans
-the lycans.. arguably the best team in bbb7 that didnt suceed in the playoffs.. they gave all of bbb7 a headache last year.. even teams that aren't here anymore.. yet they're still here.. why? because we love to lose to them.. i mean it's not like any of us were ticked off they're still here.. damn lycans.. i mean.. them lycans..
Lincoln Freedom Warriors
-after dispelling rumors that mark cuban owns this team because of their money.. they're still the envied team of the bbb7 financially.. it's a mystery how this team is able to rack up so much cash and rack up so much wins at the same time.. who says money can't buy wins? Freedom Warriors Theme Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWtHz0k0ExQ <-- watch the owner.. husker.. in the shades at :50 seconds in the video..
Amish Farmers
-like wierd al sings.. "keep spendin' most of life.. livin' in da amish paaaradise.." that paradise may actually become a reality as this team aims to make the push for the big bowl.. we've watched this team grow from a young bud to a seasoned one.. we've laughed with 'em.. cried with 'em.. now maybe we can win with 'em..
Rivercity Ransom
-this team was like one of my boners last year.. they were makin' a rise and a lotta trouble in the beginning but calmed down in the end.. then ended up bein' capsized in the playoffs.. who knows.. maybe they'll hold the bbb7 ransom as they plan on stayin' alive thruout.. maybe someone needs to pop a little viagra in the team's gatorade cooler before games..
Chicago Whodats
-whodat? chicago.. whodat? well guess it's time to find out.. the whodats find themselves roundin' up the upper echelon of week 1.. they're actually my favorite to come out of the west.. i have a good feeling we'll learn more about them as the season goes on.. noone's gonna be askin' whodat anymore..
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Originally posted by
week 3
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The Pro Bowlers.. and we're not talkin' bowling neither..
Cleveland Buckeyes
-CLEVELAND ROCKS!! and after they heard the news they are atop the rankings.. well i'll let the fans speak for themselves: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vl5FWUMnNM
Appalachian Lycans
-Lycans.. they're celebrities of the league already.. they've been utterly impressive.. and they're starting to do endorsements.. however they're still tough to deal with.. even when shooting their commercials:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9HXFuj7cbI
Jax Beach Juggernauts
Jax Beach.. a moment in jax beach is never a moment you'll ever want to remember again:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gsbe-RMBuU
Houston Armageddon
ahh.. houston.. great team on the field.. but i feel sorry for the fans having to put up with traffic when they get home: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d03gH_cFfI .. jathin.. lol 1 word.. westheimer.. lol.. trust me.. ive been there..
Amish Farmers
2 words baby.. Amish Paradise baby..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ecEF0nNNoM
The girls next door
Tampabay Paladins
ever wonder what a paladin is? and how they jsut so happened to kick our butts? well wonder no more: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1948617066588915388&hl=en
Syracuse Samurai
dont worry if you're not in the top 5.. you have great a great season ahead of you.. you can still celebrate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIAtFrIIlJs
Chicago Whodats
local news station in chicago feelin' dat whodat fever..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdbmxZxCxxU
Mudville Bombers
damn mudville bombers.. they're so tricky: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IucbuqWmC8
Lincoln Freedom Warriors
mm.. lincoln. may have to quit strokin' dat corn and get more wins first - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRda_A4zXpI
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Originally posted by
week 5-
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forget points.. just give us the W..
Cleveland Buckeyes
- the buckeyes have climbed up to the top and they are staying there.. that's for sure.. until the lycans play tougher opponents.. the buckeyes are among the upper echelon of the league in toughest opponents played.. altho then again.. as the games go by.. these rankings are pretty darn close.. and i like suspense.. don't you? if this #1 #2 trend keeps up between the buckeyes and lycans.. then can't wait till these 2 teams go at it in december..
Appalachian Lycans
- even tho they've got the respect of the league.. i can't help but envy this team and their schedule.. besides the ransom.. the tough teams they're yet to face won't come until the last 5 games of the season.. maybe things will change then eh? then again.. these lycans are known for beating teams that ended up getting promoted..
Amish Farmers
- they deprived the anarchs.. amish style.. these farmers are ruthless.. despite fresno being a well level'ed team.. they pretty much made a 4 star team in fresno look like a 1 star team.. that righ there has got to be the factor responsible in propelling them ahead 2 spots in the rankings!! is this really the best team in the west?
Tampabay Paladins
- they've jumped up 1 spot in the rankings.. they've made it to the top 5! and quite frankly.. i think we're about to learn alot more about this new BBB7 team.. reminiscent of the samurai.. this team came outta nowhere to join our league and wreck shop.. so far so good of a track record on the paladins.. and i still think their video from week 3 made me laff the most next to the samurai's!
Syracuse Samurai
-'Cuse! wow.. way to slice up a tough team like jax beach!.. way to make our team not look foward to facin' u guys.. lemme know when we all get sick of me using sword innuendo about syracuse.. meaning anytime they do something..the terms slicing / dicing / stabbing etc are used.. ANYWAYYYY!! it was forseen that a win would def. propel you into the top 5.. and not only that.. they're .02 pts from overtaking 4th place! judging from this win and the next few opponents.. looks like im gonna be hittin' that thesaurus for other words similar to slicin' dicin' and stabbin'.. for my next power rankings
our recruiting strategy was jimo's power rankings
Chicago Whodats
-moved up a couple of spots.. wouldnt be worried.. if they keep doing their thing and stay outta the L column.. pwr rankings may pit them closer to the amish than the current .76 pts apart in ranking..
Jax Beach Juggernauts
-pretty much got shut outta the top 5..thanks to the loss to syracuse.. here's where they exact revenge upon the rest of us.. thanks syracuse..
Houston Armageddon
-got kicked outta the top 5 with a loss to cleveland.. teams are starting to look tougher now.. is this where they really belong?
Mudville Bombers
-arguably the best team not in the top 5 right now.. they haven't moved down nor up from last week.. we all know that can change with ease
Rivercity Ransom
-same spot as last week's.. but they're gonna face a couple of major tests against 2 top 5 teams in the next 3 games..
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Originally posted by
week 7
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maybe we should start managing REAL teams..
Cleveland Buckeyes
-still on top.. and haven't shown a sign of weakness.. as in.. they didn't "almost lose" any games.. their toughest opponent so far was beaten by 20 pts.. and at the same time they have one of the tougher schedules in the league.. and it's only gonna be gettin tougher with the next upcoming games before they round up the season..
Appalachian Lycans
-they'll very much secure the #2 spot.. we all know they're talented.. but they just haven't overcome the #1 spot due to schedule strength.. and it's not gonna be getting any tougher until december rolls around.. after their major tests.. once they hit the playoffs they're gonna get tested more often.. will they be used to the more frequent tough opposition then? despite accomplishing being undefeated in a tough east conference so far.. competition is only gonna get tough as they march to the playoffs
Amish Farmers
-they dont' say much.. they do all the talking in the field.. im sure if they could be anymore mysterious.. they'd hide their player's levels too.. player levels and wins are the only indicator that this team is no joke.. however.. look who's ranked below them in their same conference? are the farmers the king of the west or..
Chicago Whodats
- does that crown belong to the whodats? this next game that's about to be played in week 8.. should be titled the WESTERN CONFERENCE GAME OF THE YEAR.. ive already gotten my tickets.. and even tho there IS a possibility that their rankings may not change after the game because of strength of schedule.. i think we'll know who the king of the west really is after this game.. hey.. maybe there's gonna be a rematch in the playoffs..
Rivercity Ransom
- aaaand looky looky here.. what a heckuva jump from #8 to #5.. the beating of the samurai was somewhat unexpected.. even tho the ransom is no joke.. they showed that there's no jokes to be played here.. we all know they're gonna make the playoffs but they showed the samurai that you're not gonna be let off the hook one bit when playin' ball in river city.. this win right here.. has got to have the #1 buckeyes.. re assessing their gameplan after next week when they face each other.. there is gonna be some uneasiness within 4 of these top teams in only the next couple of games.. wow..
even joe montana threw interceptions every now n then..
Tampabay Paladins
- sticking to what they do best and win games.. paladins are able to climb to 6 again after blunders by syracuse and jax beach
Syracuse Samurai
- i have dishonored our winning tradition oh kemosabe.. if this team is gonna win any championship.. their last game is the one they have to study the most.. play by play..
Jax Beach Juggernauts
- if anyone told me jax beach would lose 3 games this season.. i woulda creamed and shat my pants laughing.. ewww.. but think about it.. 2 games lost and they havent faced ransom or lycans yet..
Houston Armageddon
- they're only here because there's no ties in power rankings.. however this team is proving they're no sleepers b/c they've already faced #1 and #2 teams.. all aboard their gravy train from here on..
Mudville Bombers
- mudville is the 3rd best team in the west.. maybe they'd have had a say in king of the west but they already lost to the top 2 teams.. it only gets easy from here..
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Originally posted by
week 9
We are thankful for life, liberty, and the pursuit of whoopin' your asses
Cleveland Buckeyes
- this big win over the ransom seperated cleveland .3 pts from the lycans.. we'll pretty head into the next month with the usual suspects at the top.. if lincoln can put a dent in the buckeye season run then lycans may have a shot at grabbing the top spot.. other than that.. we may as well get ready to crown the buckeyes king of the rankings.. obviously a hardfought game between cleveland and river city.. the buckeys marched on the field and went right on to business.. take no prisoners!!!
Appalachian Lycans
- the lycans obviously already have a rep.. and despite the amount of weak teams they've faced.. they've also done just as bad of damage to strong teams as well.. when approached for an interview, lycan's qb Dean Imator was asked, "Mr. Imator, you lead the league in TDs and Passing yards.. and you only have 3 interceptions.. do you see yourself slowing down anytime soon before the season is over and could there still be a loss to come in regular season or post?" the Lycan's QB responded.. "sorry, forgive my lack of vocabulary here.. but i don't know what "loss" means.." this could get nasty post season..
Amish Farmers
- they're the amish farmers.. and their logo says "Angry Amish".. now as we all must know.. why are they angry? did anyone talk about their mama? they sure don't make friends on the field.. they rout their opponents.. the team that even had anything remotely close to a shot against these fellas was mudville.. but they ended that game quickly with a 44 yd td pass.. with 5 seconds on the clock.. this team i can say with good confidence that they're gonna go undefeated.. it's a downhill road with no speed bumps from here on out.. here's to them not wiping out in the playoffs..
Syracuse Samurai
- their last game was a dogfight against the already hot tempered freedom warrior team.. 5 star team vs. 5 star team.. they kept scoring td's back and forth and at the end.. unfortunately.. the warriors had little juice left in the tank to tie up the score and get the winning FG.. these samurai proved themselves worthy in this dogfight.. but it's not time to sleep yet.. they're opening up december with the #1 team in the east.. as the second to the last option of teams that have a shot at slicin' the lycans.. can they do the unthinkable and ram?
Rivercity Ransom
- despite a drop in the rankings.. they're not outta the top 5 yet.. going against the #1 team and losing wont really hurt you as bad as going against a lower ranked opponents.. they can breathe a quick sigh of relief but their opponents in the next few games aren't gonna be a piece of cake exactly.. yes they will make the playoffs.. but besides the 2 undefeated teams in the east, there are 3 other teams with 7 wins as well.. someone's gonna be the oddman out and face a tougher opponent.. they've gotta fight for that..
and.. we're good at playing the second fiddle
Chicago Whodats
-chicago? who's dat? JK.. we all still know who they are and they're very likely gonna make it to rd. 2 of the playoffs.. but the 3 other teams that are gonna make it to that round are ranked higher than 'em..
Houston Armageddon
- moved up 1 spot.. with a convincing win over dreadful opponent jax beach.. so far they're the only team that was able to beat jax beach at home!
Mudville Bombers
- moved up a spot.. slowly creepin' up.. i think they're just a move away from causing upsets at this point
Fresno Anarchs
- more like.. fres-YES! .. they're 4 game win streak can possibly turn into a 10 game if they can cap off a W against mudville..
Tampabay Paladins
- to move up.. all tey needed was a W.. and that's what they got.. can they stay up here against the next 3 five star teams they face in a row?
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Originally posted by
week 11
the teams that bort forgot to promote
Cleveland Buckeyes
- as P-Diddy would say.. "10 yrs from now we'll still be on top!" cleveland rocks baby! is this the year? of the buckeye? they've faced every tuff team already.. and they beat them all.. except the LYCANS.. it's only a mystery how they'd do against the other undefeated king of the West.. the Amish.. too bad we can't have a king of the EAST vs. king of the WEST bowl.. or is that gonna be savored 'till the championship game?..
jimo: the buckeyes are doin' it grendel.. any celebrations goin' on yet in cleveland?
HB: Grendel Mulch: "look at my face.. do u think i look satisfied yet?"
Amish Farmers
- the Amish is #2.. and they're a West team.. the highest rank a west team has ever achieved so far this season.. 1 undefeated team in the east.. 1 undefeated team in the west.. but have they gone thru what cleveland has gone thru?
"who cares.. we're going to the championship bowl.. we'll face up against the toughest easterner then.." -Alex Mack
(ps alex.. i had a crush on you when u had your show on nickelodeon..)
Appalachian Lycans
-i would have never thought.. in my wildest of dreams.. and trust me.. ive had some pretty wild dreams.. i mean there was this one time i had like a green alien chic with like six boobs and.. oh wait nvm.. power rankings! lycans!! i never woulda thought they'd sink below 2nd place.. but looks like the syracuse had their #.. shellshocked were the fans of the lycans as the 'cuse took a brickwall stand in the fourth quarter.. when sought for questions.. here's what LB Blade sharp said as he raided the post game analysis booth..
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=221830&pbp_id=7782348
"looka that replay!! stupid refs!! he had a gun on him!! stuck a silver bullet thru muh heart!!! that TE is a cheater!!"
after further investigation.. jimo created a youtube report and isnt questioning blade sharp's accusations.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVrsGHs2MCk&feature=related .. but who cares.. someone beat the lycans..
Syracuse Samurai
- despite being 4th right now in the rankings.. this team feels more like a #1.. after doing the impossible.. they're now looked on as one of the feared teams in all of bbb7.. TE Chris Block's comments on the accusations say "look.. ive only scored 5 td's so far this season.. why are people questioning my scoring tactics now? besides.. it was link that i was speaking to on the phone.."
Rivercity Ransom
- ok.. if u pack your sleeping bag as you're headed to river city to face the ransom.. i really feel sorry for you and question your intelligence.. river city has scored the most points on jax beach this season.. more than the #1 buckeyes.. more than the resurgent armageddon.. more than the immortal samurai.. i feel sorry for you ive you've pissed this team off already in the past.. pray you dont meet them come playoff time.. "we've only lost twice.. what makes u think we're gonna lose again?.. haven't you seen my name?" said Chance Thwice of the ransom..
well we gotta be placed somewhere on top..
Houston Armageddon
-if they're gonna prove themselves a formidable opponent.. prove it against the ransom or the samurai.. or you're outta the eastern conference championship contenders
Chicago Whodats
- time to lick those wounds.. playoffs are just around the corner.. we can still turn this season around.. despite having an impressive 9 - 2 record.. they need to prove they can beat the big dogs..
Mudville Bombers
- just like the whodats.. they're there.. but not there yet.. they'll get a shot at the fresno anarchs who've been on a mean streak.. that should decide 3rd / 4th seating in the playoffs..
Fresno Anarchs
-a win over big whiskey was expected but tough at the same time.. they prove to us they're still alive and underrated as their only losses came against the kings of the east and west..
Phoenix Scorpions
-quietly rising.. you're not gonna escape jimo's eye.. only losing 3 games..t heyve only lost to the big dogs.. maybe they have a trick or 2 down their stingers as they host fresno and mudville later this season..
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and after jimo had a stroke and came back alive here's where we stand..
DA WEST:
1. Amish Farmers - 16 and 0.. last man standing! after goin' mano y mano!!.. (the "y" is pronounced "E" for you northerners..).. they've taken the heat and dished it back out! game in game out! these farmers are sure cultivating their next move as they're slated to roll over the west because.. seriously? who's their prime competition? the whodats? who's dat? oh yea that team they beat 45 - 28 in week 8?? *yawn..
8. Oregon Lumberjacks - Oregon! eeking out on the 8th seed despite a loss to the big money dynasty!.. they did secure the playoff spot against a respectable baton rouge squad and an then unrespectable bunch of paraplegics.. but they beat the buccaneers!.. we're gonna have to get the paramedics to take care of the paraplegics.. yea.. it wasn't an awesome site.. but they're in the playoffs!! whatta run.. whatta run! i say not too shabby for their first run in league bbb 7.. they're sure gonna be wanna the tougher teams to beat come next season.. but for now.. let them enjoy their playoff run.. they deserved it!
4. Fresno Anarchs - FRES-YES!!we know how to win win win win win!! except when we face the top teams ahead of us.. well we beat chicago by 5.. and we aint skurrd to face em again.. but right now we gotta beat our first round matchup against the scorps which was a dogfight.. we gotta expect nothing short of yet another dogfight.. this time we know each other's game..
5. Phoenix Scorpions - but ye shall be stung by the wrath of phx.. despite us being evenly matched.. trowitlong will erm.. throw it long O.o.. but we've rode down this bumpy road.. and only lost to great teams... and fresno.. it's time to unload the secret weapons.. we've made it this far.. and there's no upset city on this side of BBB7 cuz we're takin' this one this time.. beat me once.. shame on you.. beat me twice.. shame on me..
2. Chicago Whodat's - ok.. sorry for the harsh words earlier.. u know i still love y'all like a fat kid loves cake.. but don't pull an Alamo City Souljahs and lose.. dont sleep on the lower ranked teams cuz by the time u get to have another shot at the amish... u gotta go thru fresno or phx first.. hey i mean.. for practice i saved a couple of paraplegics.. have a go at 'em..
7. Big Money Dynasty - unhh.. big money.. ain't nothin' but a G thing babay.. this club's got themselves some tricked out rims.. decked out cadillacs on 22's.. diamond grillz.. and a tricked out dollar sign on their field.. DOLLA DOLLA BILL Y'ALL!.. but that aint gonna get them TDs unless they pay the whodats on the downlow some bling bling.. when they answer dat ring ring from jack brimmstone? is there gonna be a bribe under da table? i mean.. money.. not what you think.. ya sicko..
3. Mudville Bombers - i think my rinking served em justice.. i believe they woulda been ranked higher in my later rankings if i had actually did them.. the rankings that is.. i mean.. they made a late surge i remember.. and they've only lost 2 games.. against chi town and da amish.. if u want to win a championship.. u got 2 options.. click yer heels and say theres no place like home while crossing your fingers hoping that they lose their first round bouts.. or right the wrongs and go out there an whoop some FARMER AND PHILLY CHEESTEAK ASS!!!!
6. Big Whiskey Assassins - big whiskey assassins.. are they known for drinkin' it up and comin' to do some damage on da field.. or do they fill up the opposition's buckets with whiskey? hey either way.. this team has 10 wins people.. 10 wins.. u dont get 10 wins by accident.. and yea i remember fingaz when he was a little ugly duckling and he came into our league and aimed to turn this team around.. boy o boy i like the way their story is going.. i mean.. after this season of course.. it's cute they made the playoffs and all.. but the bombers are kinda eh.. pissed
DA EAST!!!
1. Cleveland Buckeyes - people say the east is a tough conference.. and we're undefeated.. now put dat on a piece of paper.. mail it to bort's office and take da damn playoffs off!! this aint gonna be nothing but a few weeks of sippin' mai tais and listenin' to da beach boyz as they send a message to their contender in week 3 of da playoffs saying.. "see you wen u get there!!" boy it probably feels great to be a buckeye now.. especially after scoring 100 on the souljahs.. ya know.. i mean.. was that really necessary? i mean.. what happened to .. well hey jimo's done a great job.. how bout we give his ass a win.. jk.. but who outta the top four have they not beaten? like bubba sparxx said.. it's gonna get uglyyyyy in here.. in here.. in here...
8. Tampa Bay Paladins - also known as the lumberjacks of the east.. this squad aint no punk.. one can say they stumbled onto the last spot.. but when they face teams that aren't great.. they spank em and tell em .. get the fook out.. now lets see y'all od that against cleveland.. hey if it's any consolation.. they didnt score 100 on you like they did some people..
4. Syracuse Samurai - live by the samurai code.. die by the samurai code.. win by the samurai code.. we dont give up.. its all about honor.. integerity.. and all that noise.. quite frankly.. this team is the favorite to upset other teams.. they lost to the buckeyes and ransom then beat the juggernauts and lycans.. it's like they turn on that ninja swicth when they want.. dont play with it too much now y'all.. you're in 4th place.. and the teams ahead of you don't play with balls.. they play BALL!
5. Houston Armageddon - actually i take that back.. htown aint no punk neither.. these ARE my favorites.. ok well 2nd favorites to upset upper ranked teams not named cleveland.. i dont want szarek kickin my ass.. he knows karate.. so guess who the armageddon lost to to closeo ut the season? syracuse! well no shit sherlock.. time to revisit that playbook mister.. hey.. dont looka me.. i can talk smack cuz im not in the playoffs.. i get to sleep with your cheerleaders.. yea das what i thought.. pay attn. to the gameplan..
2. Appalachian Lycans - appalachian lycans.. u can't say appalachian lycans without the choir going "aaawwwhhh!!" behind you.. they're like scary man.. even when they got their ass whooped by the buckeyes and samurai.. and ofcourse i use the term ass whooped loosely here.. they exacted revenge on tampa bay by scoring 101 pts on em.. i mean.. seriously.. what other playoff team have they scored over 100 pts on?.. they weren't foolin' around.. and i feel sorry for who they're about to face in rd. 1 of the playoffs..
7. Lincoln Freedom Warriors - well well well.. it looks like it's gonna be the freedom writers.. man.. if someone told me at the beginning of the season.. that we're gonna be 3 wins behind the warriors.. i woulda been like "oh thank goodness! we're in 4th place!!" but after headshot and his kid went off to tibet to meditate with the buddhist monks.. their owner husker nation.. has been left scramblin' for quality players at the expense of team chem. despite the loss to the ransom.. it was only 4 pts.. will husker nation finally figure out the key to the vagina belt in the clutch moments of this 1st round game? or is he gonna be eatin' corn with the souljahs down here in alamo city? he should give us a hoot n' holla if so.. we love you here!!!
3. The River City Ransom - BARF!! *spills coins.. they're 3rd.. just like me when i was wasted and finally sobered up on this girl this one night.. they made a late surge and capped off this season in a victorious holler.. with win streaks over the 'nauts.. armageddon.. freedom warriors.. insert any other playoff team here __________.. besides cleveland.. last game they lost to was cleveland.. before that they lost to appalachian.. ok who wants some ransom now?
6. Jax Beach Juggernauts - lol what happened guys.. y'all were gonna be like the boys that came and conquered but.. y'all came and got conquered.. we aint so scared to go to jax beach now.. but hey.. maybe.. just maybe.. they'll pull that level up at the last min. trick again.. and we see their players march ont he field with bulging muscles in every surfaceof their body.. then they'll live up to the name of the juggernaut.. i can envision the last play of the game.. a ransom wr breaks off a tackle and sprints downfield for the final victory.. then a juggernaut catches up to him from behind.. rips the helmet off and looks him square in the eye sayin... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECf2CEusUFU&feature=related
We have come to the end of the season of change.. ironically at the same time this season has experienced ups and downs like none other before.. this season had us lose a few of our valued members to the A leagues thru promotions.. and had us lower ranked teams left to fight with the titans also known as appalachian, cleveland, and lincoln just to name a few.. at the same time our country has also undergone change as we experienced the election of a new president.. with the promise of hope to us Americans.. and likewise as Bort, the creator of GLB.. has promised change with the league restructuring.. and like EPIC failed at it.. he once again aims to give us hope as we head into another season of league restructuring.. lets just hope Obama doesn't pull a bort.. ok whatever lets jus start the damn power rankings...
first lets start a lookback at our teams and how they've grown thru season 6 in jimo's rankings:
Originally posted by
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week 1..
Appalachian Lycans
-the lycans.. arguably the best team in bbb7 that didnt suceed in the playoffs.. they gave all of bbb7 a headache last year.. even teams that aren't here anymore.. yet they're still here.. why? because we love to lose to them.. i mean it's not like any of us were ticked off they're still here.. damn lycans.. i mean.. them lycans..
Lincoln Freedom Warriors
-after dispelling rumors that mark cuban owns this team because of their money.. they're still the envied team of the bbb7 financially.. it's a mystery how this team is able to rack up so much cash and rack up so much wins at the same time.. who says money can't buy wins? Freedom Warriors Theme Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWtHz0k0ExQ <-- watch the owner.. husker.. in the shades at :50 seconds in the video..
Amish Farmers
-like wierd al sings.. "keep spendin' most of life.. livin' in da amish paaaradise.." that paradise may actually become a reality as this team aims to make the push for the big bowl.. we've watched this team grow from a young bud to a seasoned one.. we've laughed with 'em.. cried with 'em.. now maybe we can win with 'em..
Rivercity Ransom
-this team was like one of my boners last year.. they were makin' a rise and a lotta trouble in the beginning but calmed down in the end.. then ended up bein' capsized in the playoffs.. who knows.. maybe they'll hold the bbb7 ransom as they plan on stayin' alive thruout.. maybe someone needs to pop a little viagra in the team's gatorade cooler before games..
Chicago Whodats
-whodat? chicago.. whodat? well guess it's time to find out.. the whodats find themselves roundin' up the upper echelon of week 1.. they're actually my favorite to come out of the west.. i have a good feeling we'll learn more about them as the season goes on.. noone's gonna be askin' whodat anymore..
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Originally posted by
week 3
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The Pro Bowlers.. and we're not talkin' bowling neither..
Cleveland Buckeyes
-CLEVELAND ROCKS!! and after they heard the news they are atop the rankings.. well i'll let the fans speak for themselves: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vl5FWUMnNM
Appalachian Lycans
-Lycans.. they're celebrities of the league already.. they've been utterly impressive.. and they're starting to do endorsements.. however they're still tough to deal with.. even when shooting their commercials:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9HXFuj7cbI
Jax Beach Juggernauts
Jax Beach.. a moment in jax beach is never a moment you'll ever want to remember again:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gsbe-RMBuU
Houston Armageddon
ahh.. houston.. great team on the field.. but i feel sorry for the fans having to put up with traffic when they get home: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d03gH_cFfI .. jathin.. lol 1 word.. westheimer.. lol.. trust me.. ive been there..
Amish Farmers
2 words baby.. Amish Paradise baby..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ecEF0nNNoM
The girls next door
Tampabay Paladins
ever wonder what a paladin is? and how they jsut so happened to kick our butts? well wonder no more: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1948617066588915388&hl=en
Syracuse Samurai
dont worry if you're not in the top 5.. you have great a great season ahead of you.. you can still celebrate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIAtFrIIlJs
Chicago Whodats
local news station in chicago feelin' dat whodat fever..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdbmxZxCxxU
Mudville Bombers
damn mudville bombers.. they're so tricky: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IucbuqWmC8
Lincoln Freedom Warriors
mm.. lincoln. may have to quit strokin' dat corn and get more wins first - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRda_A4zXpI
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Originally posted by
week 5-
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forget points.. just give us the W..
Cleveland Buckeyes
- the buckeyes have climbed up to the top and they are staying there.. that's for sure.. until the lycans play tougher opponents.. the buckeyes are among the upper echelon of the league in toughest opponents played.. altho then again.. as the games go by.. these rankings are pretty darn close.. and i like suspense.. don't you? if this #1 #2 trend keeps up between the buckeyes and lycans.. then can't wait till these 2 teams go at it in december..
Appalachian Lycans
- even tho they've got the respect of the league.. i can't help but envy this team and their schedule.. besides the ransom.. the tough teams they're yet to face won't come until the last 5 games of the season.. maybe things will change then eh? then again.. these lycans are known for beating teams that ended up getting promoted..
Amish Farmers
- they deprived the anarchs.. amish style.. these farmers are ruthless.. despite fresno being a well level'ed team.. they pretty much made a 4 star team in fresno look like a 1 star team.. that righ there has got to be the factor responsible in propelling them ahead 2 spots in the rankings!! is this really the best team in the west?
Tampabay Paladins
- they've jumped up 1 spot in the rankings.. they've made it to the top 5! and quite frankly.. i think we're about to learn alot more about this new BBB7 team.. reminiscent of the samurai.. this team came outta nowhere to join our league and wreck shop.. so far so good of a track record on the paladins.. and i still think their video from week 3 made me laff the most next to the samurai's!
Syracuse Samurai
-'Cuse! wow.. way to slice up a tough team like jax beach!.. way to make our team not look foward to facin' u guys.. lemme know when we all get sick of me using sword innuendo about syracuse.. meaning anytime they do something..the terms slicing / dicing / stabbing etc are used.. ANYWAYYYY!! it was forseen that a win would def. propel you into the top 5.. and not only that.. they're .02 pts from overtaking 4th place! judging from this win and the next few opponents.. looks like im gonna be hittin' that thesaurus for other words similar to slicin' dicin' and stabbin'.. for my next power rankings
our recruiting strategy was jimo's power rankings
Chicago Whodats
-moved up a couple of spots.. wouldnt be worried.. if they keep doing their thing and stay outta the L column.. pwr rankings may pit them closer to the amish than the current .76 pts apart in ranking..
Jax Beach Juggernauts
-pretty much got shut outta the top 5..thanks to the loss to syracuse.. here's where they exact revenge upon the rest of us.. thanks syracuse..
Houston Armageddon
-got kicked outta the top 5 with a loss to cleveland.. teams are starting to look tougher now.. is this where they really belong?
Mudville Bombers
-arguably the best team not in the top 5 right now.. they haven't moved down nor up from last week.. we all know that can change with ease
Rivercity Ransom
-same spot as last week's.. but they're gonna face a couple of major tests against 2 top 5 teams in the next 3 games..
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Originally posted by
week 7
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maybe we should start managing REAL teams..
Cleveland Buckeyes
-still on top.. and haven't shown a sign of weakness.. as in.. they didn't "almost lose" any games.. their toughest opponent so far was beaten by 20 pts.. and at the same time they have one of the tougher schedules in the league.. and it's only gonna be gettin tougher with the next upcoming games before they round up the season..
Appalachian Lycans
-they'll very much secure the #2 spot.. we all know they're talented.. but they just haven't overcome the #1 spot due to schedule strength.. and it's not gonna be getting any tougher until december rolls around.. after their major tests.. once they hit the playoffs they're gonna get tested more often.. will they be used to the more frequent tough opposition then? despite accomplishing being undefeated in a tough east conference so far.. competition is only gonna get tough as they march to the playoffs
Amish Farmers
-they dont' say much.. they do all the talking in the field.. im sure if they could be anymore mysterious.. they'd hide their player's levels too.. player levels and wins are the only indicator that this team is no joke.. however.. look who's ranked below them in their same conference? are the farmers the king of the west or..
Chicago Whodats
- does that crown belong to the whodats? this next game that's about to be played in week 8.. should be titled the WESTERN CONFERENCE GAME OF THE YEAR.. ive already gotten my tickets.. and even tho there IS a possibility that their rankings may not change after the game because of strength of schedule.. i think we'll know who the king of the west really is after this game.. hey.. maybe there's gonna be a rematch in the playoffs..
Rivercity Ransom
- aaaand looky looky here.. what a heckuva jump from #8 to #5.. the beating of the samurai was somewhat unexpected.. even tho the ransom is no joke.. they showed that there's no jokes to be played here.. we all know they're gonna make the playoffs but they showed the samurai that you're not gonna be let off the hook one bit when playin' ball in river city.. this win right here.. has got to have the #1 buckeyes.. re assessing their gameplan after next week when they face each other.. there is gonna be some uneasiness within 4 of these top teams in only the next couple of games.. wow..
even joe montana threw interceptions every now n then..
Tampabay Paladins
- sticking to what they do best and win games.. paladins are able to climb to 6 again after blunders by syracuse and jax beach
Syracuse Samurai
- i have dishonored our winning tradition oh kemosabe.. if this team is gonna win any championship.. their last game is the one they have to study the most.. play by play..
Jax Beach Juggernauts
- if anyone told me jax beach would lose 3 games this season.. i woulda creamed and shat my pants laughing.. ewww.. but think about it.. 2 games lost and they havent faced ransom or lycans yet..
Houston Armageddon
- they're only here because there's no ties in power rankings.. however this team is proving they're no sleepers b/c they've already faced #1 and #2 teams.. all aboard their gravy train from here on..
Mudville Bombers
- mudville is the 3rd best team in the west.. maybe they'd have had a say in king of the west but they already lost to the top 2 teams.. it only gets easy from here..
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Originally posted by
week 9
We are thankful for life, liberty, and the pursuit of whoopin' your asses
Cleveland Buckeyes
- this big win over the ransom seperated cleveland .3 pts from the lycans.. we'll pretty head into the next month with the usual suspects at the top.. if lincoln can put a dent in the buckeye season run then lycans may have a shot at grabbing the top spot.. other than that.. we may as well get ready to crown the buckeyes king of the rankings.. obviously a hardfought game between cleveland and river city.. the buckeys marched on the field and went right on to business.. take no prisoners!!!
Appalachian Lycans
- the lycans obviously already have a rep.. and despite the amount of weak teams they've faced.. they've also done just as bad of damage to strong teams as well.. when approached for an interview, lycan's qb Dean Imator was asked, "Mr. Imator, you lead the league in TDs and Passing yards.. and you only have 3 interceptions.. do you see yourself slowing down anytime soon before the season is over and could there still be a loss to come in regular season or post?" the Lycan's QB responded.. "sorry, forgive my lack of vocabulary here.. but i don't know what "loss" means.." this could get nasty post season..
Amish Farmers
- they're the amish farmers.. and their logo says "Angry Amish".. now as we all must know.. why are they angry? did anyone talk about their mama? they sure don't make friends on the field.. they rout their opponents.. the team that even had anything remotely close to a shot against these fellas was mudville.. but they ended that game quickly with a 44 yd td pass.. with 5 seconds on the clock.. this team i can say with good confidence that they're gonna go undefeated.. it's a downhill road with no speed bumps from here on out.. here's to them not wiping out in the playoffs..
Syracuse Samurai
- their last game was a dogfight against the already hot tempered freedom warrior team.. 5 star team vs. 5 star team.. they kept scoring td's back and forth and at the end.. unfortunately.. the warriors had little juice left in the tank to tie up the score and get the winning FG.. these samurai proved themselves worthy in this dogfight.. but it's not time to sleep yet.. they're opening up december with the #1 team in the east.. as the second to the last option of teams that have a shot at slicin' the lycans.. can they do the unthinkable and ram?
Rivercity Ransom
- despite a drop in the rankings.. they're not outta the top 5 yet.. going against the #1 team and losing wont really hurt you as bad as going against a lower ranked opponents.. they can breathe a quick sigh of relief but their opponents in the next few games aren't gonna be a piece of cake exactly.. yes they will make the playoffs.. but besides the 2 undefeated teams in the east, there are 3 other teams with 7 wins as well.. someone's gonna be the oddman out and face a tougher opponent.. they've gotta fight for that..
and.. we're good at playing the second fiddle
Chicago Whodats
-chicago? who's dat? JK.. we all still know who they are and they're very likely gonna make it to rd. 2 of the playoffs.. but the 3 other teams that are gonna make it to that round are ranked higher than 'em..
Houston Armageddon
- moved up 1 spot.. with a convincing win over dreadful opponent jax beach.. so far they're the only team that was able to beat jax beach at home!
Mudville Bombers
- moved up a spot.. slowly creepin' up.. i think they're just a move away from causing upsets at this point
Fresno Anarchs
- more like.. fres-YES! .. they're 4 game win streak can possibly turn into a 10 game if they can cap off a W against mudville..
Tampabay Paladins
- to move up.. all tey needed was a W.. and that's what they got.. can they stay up here against the next 3 five star teams they face in a row?
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Originally posted by
week 11
the teams that bort forgot to promote
Cleveland Buckeyes
- as P-Diddy would say.. "10 yrs from now we'll still be on top!" cleveland rocks baby! is this the year? of the buckeye? they've faced every tuff team already.. and they beat them all.. except the LYCANS.. it's only a mystery how they'd do against the other undefeated king of the West.. the Amish.. too bad we can't have a king of the EAST vs. king of the WEST bowl.. or is that gonna be savored 'till the championship game?..
jimo: the buckeyes are doin' it grendel.. any celebrations goin' on yet in cleveland?
HB: Grendel Mulch: "look at my face.. do u think i look satisfied yet?"
Amish Farmers
- the Amish is #2.. and they're a West team.. the highest rank a west team has ever achieved so far this season.. 1 undefeated team in the east.. 1 undefeated team in the west.. but have they gone thru what cleveland has gone thru?
"who cares.. we're going to the championship bowl.. we'll face up against the toughest easterner then.." -Alex Mack
(ps alex.. i had a crush on you when u had your show on nickelodeon..)
Appalachian Lycans
-i would have never thought.. in my wildest of dreams.. and trust me.. ive had some pretty wild dreams.. i mean there was this one time i had like a green alien chic with like six boobs and.. oh wait nvm.. power rankings! lycans!! i never woulda thought they'd sink below 2nd place.. but looks like the syracuse had their #.. shellshocked were the fans of the lycans as the 'cuse took a brickwall stand in the fourth quarter.. when sought for questions.. here's what LB Blade sharp said as he raided the post game analysis booth..
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?game_id=221830&pbp_id=7782348
"looka that replay!! stupid refs!! he had a gun on him!! stuck a silver bullet thru muh heart!!! that TE is a cheater!!"
after further investigation.. jimo created a youtube report and isnt questioning blade sharp's accusations.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVrsGHs2MCk&feature=related .. but who cares.. someone beat the lycans..
Syracuse Samurai
- despite being 4th right now in the rankings.. this team feels more like a #1.. after doing the impossible.. they're now looked on as one of the feared teams in all of bbb7.. TE Chris Block's comments on the accusations say "look.. ive only scored 5 td's so far this season.. why are people questioning my scoring tactics now? besides.. it was link that i was speaking to on the phone.."
Rivercity Ransom
- ok.. if u pack your sleeping bag as you're headed to river city to face the ransom.. i really feel sorry for you and question your intelligence.. river city has scored the most points on jax beach this season.. more than the #1 buckeyes.. more than the resurgent armageddon.. more than the immortal samurai.. i feel sorry for you ive you've pissed this team off already in the past.. pray you dont meet them come playoff time.. "we've only lost twice.. what makes u think we're gonna lose again?.. haven't you seen my name?" said Chance Thwice of the ransom..
well we gotta be placed somewhere on top..
Houston Armageddon
-if they're gonna prove themselves a formidable opponent.. prove it against the ransom or the samurai.. or you're outta the eastern conference championship contenders
Chicago Whodats
- time to lick those wounds.. playoffs are just around the corner.. we can still turn this season around.. despite having an impressive 9 - 2 record.. they need to prove they can beat the big dogs..
Mudville Bombers
- just like the whodats.. they're there.. but not there yet.. they'll get a shot at the fresno anarchs who've been on a mean streak.. that should decide 3rd / 4th seating in the playoffs..
Fresno Anarchs
-a win over big whiskey was expected but tough at the same time.. they prove to us they're still alive and underrated as their only losses came against the kings of the east and west..
Phoenix Scorpions
-quietly rising.. you're not gonna escape jimo's eye.. only losing 3 games..t heyve only lost to the big dogs.. maybe they have a trick or 2 down their stingers as they host fresno and mudville later this season..
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and after jimo had a stroke and came back alive here's where we stand..
DA WEST:
1. Amish Farmers - 16 and 0.. last man standing! after goin' mano y mano!!.. (the "y" is pronounced "E" for you northerners..).. they've taken the heat and dished it back out! game in game out! these farmers are sure cultivating their next move as they're slated to roll over the west because.. seriously? who's their prime competition? the whodats? who's dat? oh yea that team they beat 45 - 28 in week 8?? *yawn..
8. Oregon Lumberjacks - Oregon! eeking out on the 8th seed despite a loss to the big money dynasty!.. they did secure the playoff spot against a respectable baton rouge squad and an then unrespectable bunch of paraplegics.. but they beat the buccaneers!.. we're gonna have to get the paramedics to take care of the paraplegics.. yea.. it wasn't an awesome site.. but they're in the playoffs!! whatta run.. whatta run! i say not too shabby for their first run in league bbb 7.. they're sure gonna be wanna the tougher teams to beat come next season.. but for now.. let them enjoy their playoff run.. they deserved it!
4. Fresno Anarchs - FRES-YES!!we know how to win win win win win!! except when we face the top teams ahead of us.. well we beat chicago by 5.. and we aint skurrd to face em again.. but right now we gotta beat our first round matchup against the scorps which was a dogfight.. we gotta expect nothing short of yet another dogfight.. this time we know each other's game..
5. Phoenix Scorpions - but ye shall be stung by the wrath of phx.. despite us being evenly matched.. trowitlong will erm.. throw it long O.o.. but we've rode down this bumpy road.. and only lost to great teams... and fresno.. it's time to unload the secret weapons.. we've made it this far.. and there's no upset city on this side of BBB7 cuz we're takin' this one this time.. beat me once.. shame on you.. beat me twice.. shame on me..
2. Chicago Whodat's - ok.. sorry for the harsh words earlier.. u know i still love y'all like a fat kid loves cake.. but don't pull an Alamo City Souljahs and lose.. dont sleep on the lower ranked teams cuz by the time u get to have another shot at the amish... u gotta go thru fresno or phx first.. hey i mean.. for practice i saved a couple of paraplegics.. have a go at 'em..
7. Big Money Dynasty - unhh.. big money.. ain't nothin' but a G thing babay.. this club's got themselves some tricked out rims.. decked out cadillacs on 22's.. diamond grillz.. and a tricked out dollar sign on their field.. DOLLA DOLLA BILL Y'ALL!.. but that aint gonna get them TDs unless they pay the whodats on the downlow some bling bling.. when they answer dat ring ring from jack brimmstone? is there gonna be a bribe under da table? i mean.. money.. not what you think.. ya sicko..
3. Mudville Bombers - i think my rinking served em justice.. i believe they woulda been ranked higher in my later rankings if i had actually did them.. the rankings that is.. i mean.. they made a late surge i remember.. and they've only lost 2 games.. against chi town and da amish.. if u want to win a championship.. u got 2 options.. click yer heels and say theres no place like home while crossing your fingers hoping that they lose their first round bouts.. or right the wrongs and go out there an whoop some FARMER AND PHILLY CHEESTEAK ASS!!!!
6. Big Whiskey Assassins - big whiskey assassins.. are they known for drinkin' it up and comin' to do some damage on da field.. or do they fill up the opposition's buckets with whiskey? hey either way.. this team has 10 wins people.. 10 wins.. u dont get 10 wins by accident.. and yea i remember fingaz when he was a little ugly duckling and he came into our league and aimed to turn this team around.. boy o boy i like the way their story is going.. i mean.. after this season of course.. it's cute they made the playoffs and all.. but the bombers are kinda eh.. pissed
DA EAST!!!
1. Cleveland Buckeyes - people say the east is a tough conference.. and we're undefeated.. now put dat on a piece of paper.. mail it to bort's office and take da damn playoffs off!! this aint gonna be nothing but a few weeks of sippin' mai tais and listenin' to da beach boyz as they send a message to their contender in week 3 of da playoffs saying.. "see you wen u get there!!" boy it probably feels great to be a buckeye now.. especially after scoring 100 on the souljahs.. ya know.. i mean.. was that really necessary? i mean.. what happened to .. well hey jimo's done a great job.. how bout we give his ass a win.. jk.. but who outta the top four have they not beaten? like bubba sparxx said.. it's gonna get uglyyyyy in here.. in here.. in here...
8. Tampa Bay Paladins - also known as the lumberjacks of the east.. this squad aint no punk.. one can say they stumbled onto the last spot.. but when they face teams that aren't great.. they spank em and tell em .. get the fook out.. now lets see y'all od that against cleveland.. hey if it's any consolation.. they didnt score 100 on you like they did some people..
4. Syracuse Samurai - live by the samurai code.. die by the samurai code.. win by the samurai code.. we dont give up.. its all about honor.. integerity.. and all that noise.. quite frankly.. this team is the favorite to upset other teams.. they lost to the buckeyes and ransom then beat the juggernauts and lycans.. it's like they turn on that ninja swicth when they want.. dont play with it too much now y'all.. you're in 4th place.. and the teams ahead of you don't play with balls.. they play BALL!
5. Houston Armageddon - actually i take that back.. htown aint no punk neither.. these ARE my favorites.. ok well 2nd favorites to upset upper ranked teams not named cleveland.. i dont want szarek kickin my ass.. he knows karate.. so guess who the armageddon lost to to closeo ut the season? syracuse! well no shit sherlock.. time to revisit that playbook mister.. hey.. dont looka me.. i can talk smack cuz im not in the playoffs.. i get to sleep with your cheerleaders.. yea das what i thought.. pay attn. to the gameplan..
2. Appalachian Lycans - appalachian lycans.. u can't say appalachian lycans without the choir going "aaawwwhhh!!" behind you.. they're like scary man.. even when they got their ass whooped by the buckeyes and samurai.. and ofcourse i use the term ass whooped loosely here.. they exacted revenge on tampa bay by scoring 101 pts on em.. i mean.. seriously.. what other playoff team have they scored over 100 pts on?.. they weren't foolin' around.. and i feel sorry for who they're about to face in rd. 1 of the playoffs..
7. Lincoln Freedom Warriors - well well well.. it looks like it's gonna be the freedom writers.. man.. if someone told me at the beginning of the season.. that we're gonna be 3 wins behind the warriors.. i woulda been like "oh thank goodness! we're in 4th place!!" but after headshot and his kid went off to tibet to meditate with the buddhist monks.. their owner husker nation.. has been left scramblin' for quality players at the expense of team chem. despite the loss to the ransom.. it was only 4 pts.. will husker nation finally figure out the key to the vagina belt in the clutch moments of this 1st round game? or is he gonna be eatin' corn with the souljahs down here in alamo city? he should give us a hoot n' holla if so.. we love you here!!!
3. The River City Ransom - BARF!! *spills coins.. they're 3rd.. just like me when i was wasted and finally sobered up on this girl this one night.. they made a late surge and capped off this season in a victorious holler.. with win streaks over the 'nauts.. armageddon.. freedom warriors.. insert any other playoff team here __________.. besides cleveland.. last game they lost to was cleveland.. before that they lost to appalachian.. ok who wants some ransom now?
6. Jax Beach Juggernauts - lol what happened guys.. y'all were gonna be like the boys that came and conquered but.. y'all came and got conquered.. we aint so scared to go to jax beach now.. but hey.. maybe.. just maybe.. they'll pull that level up at the last min. trick again.. and we see their players march ont he field with bulging muscles in every surfaceof their body.. then they'll live up to the name of the juggernaut.. i can envision the last play of the game.. a ransom wr breaks off a tackle and sprints downfield for the final victory.. then a juggernaut catches up to him from behind.. rips the helmet off and looks him square in the eye sayin... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECf2CEusUFU&feature=related
